1st May 2000


Oops, I was late again...

Single of the Week

"I Am The Sun" by Dark Star

Pretty much perfect all round. A near perfect mixture of The Cure, Pale Saints and Radiohead. Close to perfect production, blistering the paint off your mind's walls like a sonic blowtorch. Nigh on perfect lyrics ("Jesus was my age when he got nailed, I'm coming back to you, I'm paranormal"). As perfect as it's possible to be and not be The Pixies, in fact. "I Am The Sun" is an awe-inspiring leveller of a track, injecting itself into your veins with all the urgency of adrenalin and kick-starting your heart. Music as it should be made - only the similar sounding (and looking - it's uncanny) Muse are dipping their toes in this particular aural puddle at the moment. Light the blue touch paper then stick your face in the solar flare of "I Am The Sun".

"What In The World's Wrong" is mellower, the smoking remnants of "I Am The Sun"'s pyrotechnics. Dub-tinged and ambient, it is an effective and spacey comedown after the bluster of the a-side. "Faltering" dips down even further into the lightless depths of Dark Star's core, acoustic guitar dribbling like lava over the sound of continental plates grinding against each other.

The vid to "I Am The Sun" is also included; a frenetic kinetic blast of energy that burns out your retinas if you stare at it for too long.

Stellar.

Rating: 10/10

The Rest

"Oops!...I Did It Again" by Britney Spears

Despite having a title like an Arthur Askey music hall number, Queen Britney reclaims her pop throne with breathless pvc-clad ease with "Oops!...I Did It Again". A return (some would say too closely) to the likes of "Baby One More Time", this is slam dunk da funk pop heaven with a (freshly popped) cherry on top. Huge bass stabs, vocoded "yeah yeah yeah yeah"s, a ridiculously cheesy spoken bit in the middle, and a chorus that sounds like a million and one hymens breaking simultaneously - this is the the other aspect of what music is all about. Wipe-clean surface and all, "Oops!...I Did It Again" shines like a fake jewel nestling in pop's navel and is majestic in its naive wonder. Now, I must go for my customary lie down.

"Deep In My Heart" is lifted from the debut LP and is plastic fantastic pop pie, albeit a rather sugary and insubstantial serving. Another LP track, "From The Bottom Of My Broken Heart" receives the "Ospina's Millenium Funk Mix", turning the original (come on - how do you think I know...?) from a slushalongaBritney gigantic J-17 ballad into something a bit...well...funky.

Sadly, no video. And I tried to stop myself - I really did, honest - but:

Pardon me, it was the pickled onions
She's not that innocent, you know

Rating: 8/10

"Machismo" by Gomez

Riddle me this. Did Gomez release a 5-track (and therefore ineligible to chart) EP because they love you so much, or because they know they have as much chance of denting the top 40 as a snowball has of not melting inside Ricky Martin's trousers?

Previous masters of be-bumfluffed chin-stroking swampy stuff, Gomez have hit their elusive muse square on the head with "Machismo", a baggy and psychedelic magical mystery tour that journeys around Stone Roses Island, via Charlatans Square and ends up at Beatles Boulevard, dragging you along with it in a cloud of sweet-smelling smoke and heavy eyelids.

"Do's And Don'ts" sounds even more like Messrs Squire, Brown et al, with a repeated bluesy refrain echoing through long-abandoned Madchester streets at night. "Touchin' Up" is back on familiar Gomez territory, in that it sounds like Ol' Blind Smoking Jesse and his Rubber Band Orchestra serenading alligators in the bayou at midnight. "Waster" returns to mock mop top emulation, and is therefore pretty boring. "The Dajon Song" is 14 minutes of tedious prog-rock wankery of the worst kind, and not even playing it on fast-forward can make it sound anything even approaching mediocre. Gah, gah and gah again.

Rating: 5/10

"Nothing As It Seems" by Pearl Jam

Pearl Jam have been around since before the invention of the wheel and with "Nothing As It Seems", it's beginning to show a little. Nowhere near as lobotomy-inducing as the worst crimes of Gomez above, the track is still pretty sleep inducing, although admirably epic and serious in its intent. But epic and serious are not enough - there has to be some passion and grandeur there too, and Eddie Vedder seems to have lost those down the back of his sofa.

Live versions of "Better Man" and "Footsteps" done in acoustic stylee complete a rather uninspiring package from the band that were - at their height - as visceral and jaggedly exciting as performing open-heart surgery upon yourself with a plastic spoon.

Proof that grunge should have been buried alongside Kurt.

Rating: 6/10

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