I used to hate - nay, despise - bis, with their long monkey spanner faces,
"me, me, me, look at me" yelping and fake teen-c cobblers. Now, on the strength of
criminally infectious new single "Eurodisco", I think I love them. Even Manda.
A Blur-like new wave dance verse swirls intoxicatingly around a big and bouncy
hands-in-the-air chorus as bis leave all po-faced indie pretentions behind and
go for a post-modern frug round their handbags. And after a listen or two, you'll
be looking out your lycra boob tube and joining them. Joyous.
"Like Robots" - as its title implies - is a new wave electro march past by a legion of dayglo windup Japanese clockwork toys, with Ms Rin taking vocal lead and once again managing to dispel the Ghost of Squealing Past with a Hazel O'Connor style chorus straight outta 1981. "Cinema Says" inhabits a similar timeframe, conjuring up the spirits of the likes of the Revillos and Buzzcocks
with a fizzing Creamola Foam mouthful of punk pop that'll make your eyes water.
God, I may even go and see them live now...
Rating: 10/10
The Rest
If music could get itself arrested, it would sound like this (and not Gomez, however much they would love to think they have captured that particular feeling). The sonic
equivalent of Nicolas Cage (snakeskin jacket wearing, Elvis impersonating, heavy-lidded sex and violence machine), "Magical Colors" is less explosive than previous JSBE offerings, but just as badly behaved and just as likely to deflower prom queens on the baseball diamond. I bet they're Bill Clinton's favourite band. Ah thang yah verry much...
"Bacon" is more delinquent lowdown and dirty rock and roll, a scuzzed-up riffola flavoured milkshake with extra hot chilli sauce and hotrod engine oil sprinkled
on top. "Get Down Lover" is all that and more plus a tenor sax, immediately making it as cheap as a white trash slacker selling their body for Pepsi. Anarchic as hell and makes you feel...used.
I want to see a JSBE/Steps duet now.
Rating: 8/10
The Young Offenders are one band that must be rubbing their hands together in glee now that glam is back...at last their particular blend of stack-heeled mayhem, glitter make up, guitar salvoes and insane hair may finally get the recognition it's been gagging for for so long. "Pink & Blue" is one of their finest offerings, all Marc Bolan affectations, girlie harmonies and poodle-permed chord changes. Mind you, amidst all that, The Young Offenders appear to have lip-glossed over the tune...
"Get Laid With The Young Offenders" is next, a sexed-up cross between Rod Stewart and Showaddywaddy. Fun for four minutes, and you don't have to sleep in
the wet patch. Last up is "Out Of My Hair", a glam-punk glass in the face that stomps around like John Travolta in "Grease" trying to impress Sandy played by Courtney Love.
Get the impression nothing too serious was released this week?
Rating: 7/10
In their minds, Rocket From The Crypt are peers of the Jon Spencer Blues Explosion, but in reality they are closer companions to The Flintstones.
They are just as threatening, and just as 4 Real, and you get the impression they
would collectively cack their bowling slacks if faced with anything approaching real sex and danger. However, there's nothing hugely wrong with that, and RFTC's psycho-addled rock and roll pantomime is trotted out in infectious and technicolor style in the form of "Break It Up", featuring the kind of choppy guitar work that made Tenpole Tudor so hilariously vital for 15 minutes. And Speedo still credits himself on the sleeve as "romantic lead" which is still very funny indeed.
"Turkish Revenge" is the first b-side, almost succeeding in emulating Jon Spencer after all, with a high-speed(o) jaunt through the underpass at night,
flick-comb in one hand and jumbo-sized burrito in the other. Then comes the
punk rock peacock strut of "Crack Attack", in which RFTC demonstrate Olympic standard formation rock and rolling for five minutes whilst a juggernaut riff rumbles along behind them.
It's only rock and roll but I like it.
Rating: 7/10
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