6th March 2000


Well, I still like Slipknot...

Single of the Week

"Don't Wanna Let You Go" by Five

Contrary to opinions voiced in some circles, I do not rate pop bands just to piss off the indie kids (though it is fun...) - I really do think some of the stuff nuzzling up to the top ten's neck is as valid as the more "serious" music often over-analysed and overrated by those elitists that think the charts are for children.

Bollocks to all that, I say - like what you like and don't let anyone tell you different.

The best boy band around by far (and that includes Slipknot), Five continue to pump out raucous and raunchy big budget Backstreet Boys style pop missives that slap you around the head mercilessly with their infectious riffs, irresistible raps and big booming biceps. "Don't Wanna Let You Go" is prime cut of Five, mighty of riff and noisy of (sampled) guitar. Forget Liam vs Robbie - Five could get in the ring with Westlife, A1, Boyzone and the rest and emerge victorious, the blood of their rivals dripping from their pearly whites. They are younger than you (and me), better looking than you (and me) and more talented than you (and me), and that's why you hate them. Well - like Slipknot - they don't care. And neither do I - what I do care about is the fact they released the best single by far this week, and that's what this page is all about. (God, I love this job - except I don't get paid for it.)

"Battlestar" on the b-side is possibly even better, being positively cinematic in scope with its "if you feel the force throw your hands to the sky" rap nonsense and soundtrack-style backing. An enhanced CD containing the stylishly camp video, photos, lyrics and scratch and sniff section (one of the above is made up) completes a gloriously effervescent pop package.

Rating: 9/10

The Rest

"Generator" by Foo Fighters

Whilst they may be as unfashionable as a fur coat made out of kittens, I still rate the Foo Fighters above the majority of unassuming white blokes to ever pick up a guitar and work out one end of it from the other. "Generator" is the Foos in mellow(ish) mode; a relatively low-key riff-pumped rock song that glides over the post-grunge wastelands, dodging in and out of the flak aimed at them by their noisier and more 4-real counterparts, producing an enjoyably bouncy and infectious track that grins goofily at you for four minutes then packs its bags and heads back off to the ranch.

A limited release, we get 4 extra tracks for our listening pleasure. "Ain't It The Life" and "Floaty" are acoustic jobs, gentle guitars swirling around well-crafted and - in the case of "Floaty" - downright beautiful tunes. "Fraternity" sounds like one of the songs that bands play in the Bronze in Buffy The Vampire Slayer - inoffensive college-radio fodder that does what it does well, but doesn't dazzle. "Breakout" is a live recording from Glasgow Barrowlands (the best live venue in existence, even if it is in Glasgow), and is a heads-down, bollocks-forward rock out, complete with trademark Barras crowd singalong bits and trademark Grohl tonsilitis inducing vox.

The package is completed by a multimedia section, including shiny happy photos of the band and an impressively long documentary on the making of the LP, in which the friendly Foos come across as an affable bunch of blokes, the sort you wouldn't mind bringing home for tea and funny cigarettes.

Rating: 8/10

"Real Great Britain" by Asian Dub Foundation

It starts deceptively quietly. Whilst the chattering classes sit down over a glass of fine wine and discuss what happened to punk, Asian Dub Foundation rip through the very fabric of the United (sic) Kingdom with a junglist dub behemoth that is more punk than a ripped bin-bag full of snot held together with safety pins. Not quite angry or powerful enough to be truly vital, it still sears through the system like a dose of liver salts washed down with a bucket of vodka & Red Bull.

A couple of remixes reside on the b-side (one extended, one instrumental), that serve to transform the original into widescreen urban jungle mode, but add little else.

Rating: 7/10

"Shiver" by Coldplay

Faitful readers of HeadCleaner (reckon that's just me...) may know that one of my favourite bands of all time were Kitchens Of Distinction, a lesser-spotted indie combo that took guitars and wrung seven shades of incandescent wonder out of their necks; a kaleidoscopic cocktail of noise that delicately sandblasted the skin off everything in their wake. Coldplay come tantalisingly close to emulating the KoD's shoegazetastic sound, but tantalisingly close is not good enough. Whilst its guitars interweave and copulate with each other in a fairly mesmeric manner, "Shiver" is let down rather spectacularly by some bog-standard vocals that bring it down like concrete slippers. Marry this lot with Andrew Montgomery out of Geneva and you might just get the best band in existence. As they stand however, with Wayne Slob taking the mic, they are merely "alright, I suppose".

"For You" and "Careful Where You Stand" tread quieter but similarly flawed paths: beautiful music let down by plumber's mate / Embrace style vocals.

Rating: 6/10

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