As if it knows "My Beautiful Friend" is too hard an act to follow, "Scorched" doesn't try too hard, burbling along its baggy instrumental business pleasantly enough before shuffling off again with scarcely a ripple left in its wake. "Your Precious Love" is better; though - with its bizarre Madchester / country twang guitar hybrid - an altogether weirder thing: like Bez and Beck having a pillow fight.

CD2 knows the game though - concentrating as it does entirely on "My Beautiful Friend". First up is the Lionrock remix, which injects pulsing bass and a narcoleptic beat into the song's veins, making it perspire gently as it glides around your head. The Jagz Kooner treatment is more radical, strapping a double-tempo, semi-industrial beat to the unwitting original, winding it up, and setting it off to soar into the horizon, not a million miles away from the intenser sound of the next band (see below). The original version resurfaces again next, shaking off the trappings of the remixers and shining forth like a diamond once more. For completeness' sake, the video is also included, which features Tim living his entire life through the course of the song, morphing Cronenberg-like from infant to old man whilst the rest of the band continue to pluck sonic clouds from the sky.

This is what's playing over heaven's tannoy system.

Rating: 10/10

"10 Miles High" follows the bluster of the a-side with a sinister, building track, that layers sound upon sound until it climaxes in an explosion of furnace-hot guitar, histrionic vocals and Thor's hammer drumming, before outro-ing away again with its tail between its legs, energy spent. "The New Flesh" is the third track, and is downright scary, sludged-out and distorted guitar eviscerating out of an open wound of a song in which Reznor screams like a lost and damned soul. Don't expect Sir Cliff to be covering it.

This band taught Marilyn Manson all they know (and no, I'm not being ironic)...

Rating: 9/10

"Don't Say Never" is, on listening to it, obviously the Christmas ballad: lush as a velvet pouch full of ocelots and as similar to the Spice Girls as it's possible to be without marrying David Beckham. That said however, it's a damn fine big mug of pop cocoa to let yourself sip from just before bedtime. "Does Your Mother Know" (as performed on that Abbamania thing on the telly a while ago) bounces up irrepressibly next, so bright-eyed that it must be on artificial stimulants. It features a great big fantastic rubber band bass sound though, so that's alright then.

The video to "I Shall Be There" allows you to see the gurls in all their glory, and features them frolicking with the jungle creatures like something out of a Bounty advert. You can also marvel at that funny hand-jiving thing they do, and wonder to yourself whether they are inadvertanly making rude gestures according to some foreign culture they are unaware of.

Well, it kept me amused.

Rating: 8/10

"You + Me Together" is a fly, dope (like I know what I'm talking about...) instrumental that floats along on air-injected sneakers. "Big Shot (live)" is next, and is a fantastic rap / metal / punk roadkill milkshake just like the old "Licensed To Ill" days used to make, and is therefore fantastic. The video to "Alive" is last, and features the lads bouncing about (literally) like some strange hallucination from inside Gerry Anderson's head.

Rating: 8/10

Two remixes of the a-side follow, the first of which stretches the original out until it seems longer than the entire history of mankind; the second of which is slightly better as it sounds a bit like The Cure.

Take yer Longpigs and be off with you.

Rating: 3/10