9th August 1999


I'm really not in the mood for this today, but as I don't envisage being in the mood until at least next Monday, I have decided to press on regardless. Hence apologies in advance for the brief and perhaps unfairly vitriolic reviews this week. But hey - at least it's free.

Single of the Week

"The Pop Singer's Fear of the Pollen Count" by The Divine Comedy

I share Neil Hannon's hayfever-stricken, asthmatic discomfort of the summer months (at least I live in Scotland, where I'm seldom troubled by sunny days...), and also share his love of painstakingly-crafted and shiny pop nuggets (despite being in a mood more suited to listening to The Smiths). Unfortunately, I don't share his talent, otherwise I too would be snorting cocaine out of prostitutes' navels (or whatever it is these pop star types get up to) instead of being stuck where I am. However, "The Pop Singer's Fear Of The Pollen Count" (re-recorded from the Divine Comedy's first LP for inclusion on a forthcoming essential greatest hits collection) soars above such maudlin thoughts with its breezy, sneezy, summery (three of the seven dwarves) delight, so it settles lightly and deservedly on top of the heap this week.

"This Side Of Paradise" is the first b-side, a lush, cascading instrumental that evokes the heaven that its title hints at. Then comes "Vapour Trail", a faithful and shimmering cover of the old Ride song. Had to be Ride, didn't it? Ride - although a fantastic band - bring back all sorts of angsty student bedsit memories associated with the time, which is the last fecking thing I need today. Oh bugger.

Now, where did I put my copy of "Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now"....?

Rating: 9/10

"Drinking In L.A." by Bran Van 3000

Probably familiar to you from the Rolling Rock beer TV ad, this smooth and laid-back tranche of slacker hip-hop is perfect fodder for downing a six-pack to. However, it's taken Bran Van 3000 about 432 musicians to achieve something the like of which Beck can churn out in the bath, so points off there.

Two remixes on the b-side, neither of which need bother you too much.

Rating: 6/10

"Low Five" by Sneaker Pimps

Apparently, ex-lead singer Kelly was sacked from the Sneaker Pimps because she wanted too much of a say in the musical direction of the band. Judging from this sludgey gloop of sub-standard trip-hop, I imagine the conversation went something along the lines of:

Kelly: "Can we do some good songs now?"

Rest of band: "No, we want to churn out tedious, turgid bollocks whilst dressing up like Richey Manic."

Kelly: "Ok, bye."

"Diving" on the b-side sounds like a bluebottle with dysentry. "Unattach" proves Kelly made a damn good career move.

Sneaker Pimps, begone. I'm off down the pub.

Rating: 2/10

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