11th September 2000


A good single these days is hard to find...

Single of the Week

"No Danger" by The Delgados

I've previously not had a huge amount of time for The Delgados, with their star-shaped tambourine and floppy fringe-shaking indie warblings. A bit too much Belle And Sebastian for my liking up til now, but "No Danger" sees the band taking their fey toys to a car boot sale, and buying a great tune, scuzzy guitar and something close to beauty with the profits. "No Danger" is a seance of melody and harmony, in which the ghost of Scott Walker pokes its head through the ectoplasm, adding a touch of silver-hued melancholy to the whole affair. A bass guitar that is so low it's under the carpet adds depth and tone to the track; some piano tinkles like a dog in a swimming pool; guitars start and stop, catching the vocals blinking unexpectedly in their silent wake: "No Danger" sees The Delgados soar where before they could barely lift their feet off the ground.

"The Choices You've Made" is similarly good, a female vocal taking centre-stage, Nico-like, in front of a minimalist nursery-rhyme backing. It does however threaten to slip on a fake comedy folk beard at some points, making it far more disturbing then I'm sure they intended. "Don't Sleep" is track number three, a luxuriously lethargic piece that makes the likes of Spacemen 3 sound like speedcore merchants. Building up to a threatening night-time emission of bass and percussion, it demonstrates - like the rest of the single - that you can still be alternative without trying to shock; still sound indie without aping Radiohead.

They do get a point off for being Glaswegian however.

Rating: 9/10

The Rest

"On A Night Like This" by Kylie

The impossible princess returns, defying critics and convention alike with this Slipknot cover. Nah, not really, but a boy can dream... "On A Night Like This" is instead a fairly adult pop song, a diva-esque slice of dance music, Spanish guitar casting warmth upon it like the sun rising over the ocean. In fact, if I went on holidays to sand-in-the-underpants style places, I would listen to "On A Night Like This" whilst falling asleep on a sun-kissed beach (probably to awake to find I'd been sold to the circus by gypsies, but hey - run with the image here). She deserves a gold medal for persistence, if nothing else, and luckily this song is worth at least a bronze on its own merits.

"Ocean Blue" is going on my next compilation tape (twice). I don't care who makes a song that causes the hair on the back of my neck to stand up - it could even be Martine McCutcheon, and I wouldn't mind (well, not too much). The fact that one of Kylie's b-sides, a shimmering acoustic ballad floating in the middle of an uncharted ocean, is one of the most delicate things I've heard since "No Surprises" does not matter to me.

Sublime replaced by ridiculous now, with "Your Disco Needs You (Almighty Remix)", a whole fleet of handbags jostling for attention in the middle of a strobe-lit dancefloor whilst a Village People style refrain chants out "Your disco, your disco, your disco needs you". Kylie flits about like a lycra-clad butterfly amidst all this, utterly aware of what market she is being targetted at, at least...unlike little Adam Rickett of yore, for instance.

The vid to "On A Night Like This" shimmies up at the end, a dark tale of subterfuge and deceit in Monte Carlo, featuring Rutger Hauer, and Kylie gambling her little false eyelashes away. The names Minogue - Kylie Minogue.

Actually, if Martine McCutcheon ever makes my hair stand on end, shoot me.

Rating: 7/10

"C'Mon People (We're Making It Now)" by Richard Ashcroft

Try as he might, Richard Ashcroft just cannot reclaim the muse that flirted with The Verve on "Urban Hymns". "C'Mon People (We're Making It Now)" is just too damn jaunty for a start, conjuring up images of Ashcroft slapping his arse with a tambourine like Mick Jagger (which isn't the nicest image I've had today). Admittedly, the song is pretty catchy, with the choruses in particular echoing back to past glories, but it's all a bit too Crowded House for my liking. If "Bittersweet Symphony" was Ashcroft walking dispassionately through the urban street of his life, "C'Mon People" is him skipping through the poppy-fields after taking a funny pill. Which isn't to say it's bad, just that it doesn't speak to me (maaan).

"Make A Wish" is too country / folk to be anything other than faintly frightening, and "For The Lovers" is a pretty bland electronic remix of the last single, making this less value than a tankful of diesel.

Rating: 6/10

"You Do Something To Me" by Dum Dums

Oh yeah, like we really need another Symposium right now. Thanks a lot. Dum Dums can't decide whether they want to be a sub-standard Stereophonics (no mean feat...), Blink 182 style lovable little monkeys, or a bunch of kids who've stumbled across some instruments in a garage, picked them up, plugged them in but forgotten to bring along any degree of innovation or interest. Dumb. And dull. Thank god there's bands like JJ72 out there, proving youth and innovation can get inside the same sleeping bag after all.

All the b-sides are distressingly similar, full of crashing, uninspiring riffs and drumrolls and with an attitude that you can now buy off the shelf in the supermarket. "I Can't Stand It" and "Running Away" are the culprits, the first being so anaemic that if you cut it sawdust would come out; the second stretching credibility to snapping point by trying to sound like Nirvana. A disinterested world yawns and puts Kylie back on the stereo.

Do not try this at home.

Rating: 2/10

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