"Birdgirl On A Cellphone" vies for attention next, a gentle and seductive wave lapping at the shore of Eels Island, a lullaby for those too tired to go to sleep. Following this, the video to "Last Stop In This Town" displays its wares, the cathartic hymn to mourning and loss being touchingly depicted by a surreal tale of genetically-modified vegetables.

Goddamn right.

Rating: 9/10

"Bathroom Girl" is next, a similarly-styled instrumental, but with a noir-ish undercurrent of menace and threat. Less coherent than "Playground Love", it frowns its ways through its four-minute length before sloping off again in a cloud of cigarette smoke. Last we get a "Vibraphone Version" of the a-side, with the eponymous instrument being breathed upon instead of struck, giving us possibly an even more laid-back and seductive version than the original.

...must...stay....awake...zzz....zzzzzzzz

Rating: 7/10

Despite the albatross of Mrs Fatboy's backing, "Fast As You Can" isn't all that bad, being a bit of - admittedly fairly boringly aor-ish - Tori Amos style outpourings over a 60s tinged bit of manic piano, flute and drums. Which is all very well and good, but give me Britney any day.

B-sides are much the same - no doubt extremely well crafted pieces that Ms Apple probably sweated blood over - but "Sleep To Dream" and "I Know" are ultimately about as exciting as a stale cornflake. Perhaps if you were in the mood for some smokey vocals wafting out of a barely-lit club whilst sipping on your absinthe, this stuff would work better, but me, I'm more in the mood for some shouty neon-lit nonsense while throwing Bacardi Breezers down my neck, so this Apple doesn't tempt me.

Rating: 4/10