The perfect video to Apollo 440's perfect slab of noise that is "Stop The Rock" features a great big scary dog being chased through the streets by four FBI agents (baaad dog), until it comes face to face with great big scary vocalist Mary Mary who sends it off with its tail between its legs. Which is kinda how you'll feel if you turn this monumental track up to 11 and stick your head inside the speakers (recommended). "Dance like Madonna, into the groovy" go the lyrics as siamese twin drummers, samples and prehistoric bass create a sonic wonder of the world. You'll likely be sick of it soon, but it's one hell of a way to fall ill...
"Stakeout" is the first extra track, a suitably 70s-style soundtrack to some imaginary cop show, all funky pimp basslines, kinky affro beats and as cheesy as Huggy Bear eating nachos. Next up is "Deep Bass Nine", featuring the eponymous seismic bass which underpins a surprisingly light and almost muzak-ish track. Not a big dog in sight.
The CD is rounded off nicely with a multimedia section, which includes the aforementioned video, as well as clips from the making of it, stills and band facts. But it's the steamhammer in the chest appeal of track one that will keep you coming back to this one, like a great big scary dog on heat.
Rating: 10/10
Bouncing back with the kind of song written for you to lose your virginity (or at least your sunglasses) to whilst on holiday in Ibiza, the young flame-haired pop vixen that is Geri returns with a Latin-flavoured popsicle that slides down your throat (er...are you sure?) with ease. Despite being a shameless steal of La Isla Bonita, this hot-blooded little number goes skinnydipping in pop's ocean with a coyish and appealing charm that I find hard to be too nasty about. Still not proving herself to have been the best Spicey vocalist (a small part of my heart is forever Mel C's...), Geri makes a good stab at euro divadom without too much embarrassment.
"G.A.Y." is the subtly-titled hi-nrg platform-soled stomp across a million summer night dancefloors, whilst other extra track "Summertime" is Geri's rather abortive attempt at a trip-hop song. Hmmm. The video to "Mi Chico Latino" follows, which sees Ginge writhing about in a bikini putting paid to any rumours that she was Plump Spice.
Leave her alone, she's not doing anyone any harm...However, I will personally set Apollo 440's great big scary dog on the next person to release a song featuring the word "vida" (god, I hope it's Hepburn...)
Rating: 6/10
Mercury Rev are one of those bands that journos tell you that you must like (hello SFA), irrespective of how unimaginitively mediocre and dull their offerings may be. Whilst "Goddess On A Hiway" is not the sonic equivalent of watching your toenails fall off, neither is it the aural version of sharing a strawberry milkshake with [insert name of your dream date here]. It is instead a slightly whiny countrified thing that ambles along pretty inoffensively and unnoticeably, then is gone, leaving behind only a feeling of "where did the last three minutes go?".
"I Don't Want To Be A Soldier" is a cover of a John Lennon song, and is therefore horrible. A live version of old Rev number "Car Wash Hair" closes proceedings, which serves only to remind me of what a good band Galaxie 500 (who did this sort of thing 500 times better) were.
Rating: 4/10
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