INFORMATION: PASSING

Andy has been maintaining a comprehensive list of FTM passing tips for a while. They tend to be especially useful for those at the beginning of transition, but contain something for everyone too.

Below is the text of a message he sent to the MtMInFo list, along with the most recent version the "Tips". Much credit is due for the work he has put in to compiling them and ensuring they remain current.

Everyone,

Attached is the latest version of my passing tips file, updated to
include new products and omit discontinued ones. Please let me know
of any other needed updates.

Also included is advice on how to modify the Softie/Ultimate Packer,
which many feel is too big, to make more realistic stuffers of both
the strapless and "strapped" varieties.

These tips may be distributed freely, so long as I am identified by
my first name only - no middle name, no last name, no email address,
just "Andy." Thanks.

Andy

--------------------
FTM Passing Tips

Last updated Tuesday, August 10, 1999

by Andy and many others

Hair: This is the most important place to start. Go for a very
conservative, short-back-n'-sides cut, but avoid getting an
all-over crewcut or a way-out "punk" style as these are often
sported by the butch lesbians who you are trying to distinguish
yourself from. All-over crewcuts are also problematic because
they emphasize the shape and size of one's skull and are
therefore feminizing (look at Sinead O' Connor) - you've got to
leave something on top.

Go to a barber's if you already feel comfortable trying one - if
you don't, find a gay or gay-friendly hair stylist who's willing
to help you look as masculine as possible. A lot of guys keep
going to the person who cut their hair "before" - don't,
especially if they perceived you as a lesbian. Even if you're
not passing yet, get a new hairdresser or barber who'll help
you to look male, not shock the patriarchy.

Part your hair neatly to one side and then comb the top back or
to the side. As any MTF can tell you, bangs are feminizing -
women and kids tend to have them, but men don't. Use gel or
mousse if your hair won't stay in place.

Sideburns: You know those Liza Minelli-esque "points" which grow
just in front of the ears of women with short hair? Men don't
have them, so cut them off straight across with a good pair of
scissors. Then use a razor to shape your sideburns - start from
the upper point where your ear meets your head and then go
straight down.

Shaving: Many women have light-colored "peach fuzz," but men
don't, so shave it off. Again, use a good razor and shaving
cream, followed by aftershave. Shave your sideburns every day
and your whole face as often as needed. And make sure you
also shave your upper lip - a light mustache is actually far
more likely to give you away than to help you pass.

Fake Facial Hair: Although really convincing fake facial hair
from a theater or costume supplier might help you pass, I don't
recommend it. It's very difficult to explain where that full
mustache suddenly sprouted from and even more difficult to
remember who's seen you wearing it and who hasn't. Fake stubble
(achievable with tea leaves or an eyeliner pencil) is also out -
it will help you pass, but do you really want to look grubby and
slovenly?

Body: Even if you are not on hormones, bodybuilding either in a
gym or at home can make a difference in getting your body to take
on a more male shape. Before beginning any workout program, make
sure you are healthy enough to do so, and make sure that you learn
the correct way to do the exercises so as to avoid injury.

Chest: There are a number of different binding options
available, and what will work best for you depends on your size
and build. That old standby, the Ace bandage, binds really
well, but I don't recommend it if you're into breathing and
being able to move freely - it's also a real pain to put on.
Tape is also not recommended - I've heard of one guy who managed
to pull off a layer of skin at the end of the day. Some better
FTM-tried-and-tested options include:

For those wishing to avoid binding during the summer comes this
suggestion from the Netherlands:

Wear a muscle-shirt or a T-shirt (a muscle-shirt, leaving
your biceps and deltoids uncovered, looks nicer IMO),
preferably not too loose, tucked in. Over that, wear a
singlet (which I think [Americans] call a vest or tank
top); make sure it's way way way oversized and not made
from a stretchy material, preferably with a print or
application at the front. It doesn't really bind, but for
those of us who are not too large it sure beats hot sweaty
tight uncomfortable binders! Also, if the vest has large
armholes and is made from a loosely-knit or mesh-like
material it's not much warmer than one layer of
clothes.
You can made a homemade binder made using control top panty hose
(yes, panty hose). This is nice and cool in the summer, works
well for smaller-chested guys and, only costs about two dollars
for L'eggs or No Nonsense. Here's what you do: buy a pair of
control top panty hose, in a color close to your skin tone -
"nude" works well for the fair-skinned. Make sure to buy a size
that will be small on you. Cut both legs off them, and then
carefully cut the cotton crotch area out of the middle, making
sure you leave the fabric around it intact. Cut the reinforced
waist-band off too if you find that it cuts into you too much
(it will ride up more without the waistband, though). Then turn
the whole thing upside down - your arms should go through the
leg holes, your head should go though the hole in the crotch
area, and the rest (the waist area) should go down over your
chest. Position your breasts down and out as much as
possible. Hand wash with mild soap, line dry.

Another good option is a tight sports bra, available at any
athletic wear store. These are very comfortable and work well
if you're a "B" or smaller.

While the average sports bra doesn't have enough lycra (about
11%) to hold in larger chests, there is a mail order company
called Title Nine Sports that offers a product called The
Fr.O.G. Bra which is made of 35% lycra and promises "maximum
support and compression." It costs $33.50 including shipping,
and from what I've heard it works:

Title 9
5743 Landregan Street
Emeryville CA, 94608
(510) 655-5999
The Devrey Collection's spandex undershirt for out-of-shape men
costs around $13 and can be obtained from:

The Devrey Collection
38 St. Johns Place
Box 0800
Freeport, NY 11520-0800
(516) 623-6214.

The Sears Home Health Care Catalogue's Men's Abdo Trim abdominal
support undershirt costs $16.99. Call (800) 326-1750 for a
catalogue.

There is a $30 undershirt-style binder available which I've
heard works for guys who aren't too overly large. For more
information contact:

Ben Pike
401 E. Foothill Blvd. #107
Monrovia, CA 91016
(818) 358-9582
email: rackerman@juno.com

For highly effective (they can be even be worn with T-shirts)
latex undershirts (always use talc powder underneath these)
contact:

MrS Leather
310 7th St.
SF,CA 94103
(415) 863-7764
Morris Designs offers several products: The 6" wide male
Gynecomastia Binder (#MB 120) comes in S, M, L, and XL and sells
for $20. The $34 male Gynecomastia Vest (#MV 110), which I've
heard makes a very comfortable and effective binder, comes in S
(32-36), M (35-40), L (40-44), and XL (over 40) and costs $34.
The Surgical Compression Vest (#MV 41000) is sized and designed
for genetic females, comes in sizes from XS, S, M, L, and XL,
and costs $42. The company can be reached at:

Morris Designs
1637 Godfrey Lane
Virginia Beach, VA 23454
ph. (757) 481-9313
fx. (757) 422-5603

The company Transitions sells an $85 made-to-order, custom-made
undershirt-style cotton-and-lycra binder which I've heard
works well for larger guys. For more information write to:

Transitions
P.O. Box 3547
Conroe, TX 77035-3547

Some guys have reported success using commercial weight loss and
gut control belts made out of diving suit-type material, which
they trim to the appropriate size.

Medical supply stores sell elastic rib belts which can be used
for binding. These hold your chest in well but tend to slip down
and are not very comfortable as they tend to compress your
ribcage along with your chest.

Clothes: Once you've bound, you need the right shirt. In the
cooler months, a plain white crew neck undershirt over your
binder and beneath your shirt will help hide your chest, and
that triangle of white showing beneath an open collar looks
very masculine. For other shirts, knit fabrics often tend to
cling too much, while woven ones (such as cotton and cotton
blend button-down shirts) "bag" out better and hence help you
look flatter. If you send your shirts to the cleaners, a good
way to keep them from clinging is to ask for extra starch.
Avoid silk at all costs, though - it clings like a tight sweater.

As for patterns, busy prints and checks and plaids are good
because they distract the eye from the topography beneath them.
A vest (waistcoat to you Brits) over your shirt can also help
hide your chest.

If you live in a cosmopolitan area where there are a lot of
butch lesbians then it's going to be much more difficult for you
to pass. One way to help distinguish yourself from them is to
dress preppy and conservative - leave the leather motorcycle
jacket at home for a while.

Start with an ironed button-down shirt (loose, to help hide your
chest), worn with ironed khakis, dress slacks, or neat-looking
blue or black jeans. In the summer, you can avoid the androgyny
of T-shirts and cut-offs by pairing short-sleeved button-down
shirts with khaki shorts.

Make sure your trousers fit low - this helps to hide both your
hips and your waist. A dark brown or black leather belt is also
a nice, masculine touch. Ties are of course a great way to pass,
though there are many situations where you'll look too
out-of-place in one. Don't spend a lot of money on new suits
and jackets at this point - you'll bulk out of them once you're
on hormones. Instead, find a good used clothing shop to buy
them at. In the Boston area try:

Keezer's
140 River St.
Cambridge, MA
(617) 547-2455

If you're looking for new clothes in smaller sizes, try:

Lebow Bros.
178 Linden St.
Wellesley, MA 02181
(617) 431-7194
Web: http://www.tiac.net/users/lebow/

There's a short men's catalogue you can order from, but their
stuff tends to be pricey:

Short Sizes, Inc.
5385 Warrensville Ctr Rd.
Cleveland, OH 44137
Ph: (216) 475-2515
Fax: (216) 475-7440
Web: http://www.shortsizesinc.com

There's also a web site which lists good sources of clothing
and shoes for shorter men:

http://www.best.com/~piner/short.html

Jewelry: If you're very small-boned, try a 3/4 size men's watch
- it looks substantial and masculine without emphasizing how
thin your wrists are.

Pants-stuffers: First, be realistic when you stuff! The vast
majority of non-porn star men are "grow-ers" rather than
"show-ers," which means that their penises get up to twice as
big when erect as they are when flaccid. The average guy is
about 3-4" when he's not aroused, and the goal of stuffing is to
look natural, not like you're walking around with a constant
hard-on.

There are a number of products available to simulate the look
and feel of genetic male equipment in your pants, ranging from
homemade devices made using unlubricated condoms and hair gel
(always use no-alcohol hair gel and "double-bag" the condoms to
prevent leakage) to more expensive items. Options, in order of
cost, include:

The Glue Slug, available at Natural Wonders, costs around
$6 and is supposed to be a fun toy for teaching kids about
physics. Although the shape isn't exactly right, it also
makes a good, cheap pants-stuffer -- just place it in an
unlubricated condom so it won't gather lint. If it pulls at
your hair, put in an old sock as well. To order by mail or
for the Natural Wonders nearest you, contact:

1-800-2-WONDER
http://www.naturalwonders.com

Grand Opening offers a silicone-based product called the Softie
which is very comfortable and feels very realistic. It is
available in small, medium, and large and costs from $14.95 to
$19.95 [Please note, a Lady Amber Thorne is offering a
suspiciously similar product for $39.95 under the name the
"Ultimate Packer"]. To order the Softie, contact:

Grand Opening
Arcade Building
318 Harvard St., Suite 32
Brookline, MA 02446
(617) 731-2626
grando@grandopening.com
www.grandopening.com

A note on the Softie: While it feels great under the "grope
test" and has a good shape, because the penis is on the long
side and the balls are attached in a way that makes the dick
curve out so much, many guys feel that it makes them look
conspicuously excited/over-endowed. To counteract this problem
and make it sit better in your underwear, you can modify the
Softie by doing the following:

To modify the Softie as a strapless stuffer: Use a scissors to
cut the dick part off at a 45 degree angle, starting from the
top (see illustration). Then tie the dick in an unlubed condom
to keep it from gathering lint and drop it in your briefs - the
underside cut will make it "hang" realistically." I recommend
using the medium-sized Softie for this, as the increased girth
makes up for the discarded balls as long as you're not wearing
something skin-tight like spandex or a Speedo.

Modifying the Softie to use as a strapless stuffer:
*******\ Top - Around 4"
* *****************************
* *
* * - Cut at 45
* * degree angle
* *
* ************************
* ********/

To modify the Softie to wear on a strap under swim trunks or
boxers: Use scissors to cut the dick part off at a 45 degree
angle, starting from the bottom (see illustration). Tie the
dick in an unlubed condom to keep lint off. Place dick in a
knee-high nylon, sewing the ends of the nylon's "toe" together
so that the line circles the head (see illustration). Then sew
the nylon to an elastic waistband (you can buy elastic at a
fabric store, or just use the band from an old pair of
underwear). The topside cut will make it "hang"
realistically. I recommend using the smaller-sized Softie for
this, as swimming tends to cause "shrinkage" in genetic guys.
Again, no one will notice the discarded balls if you're not
wearing something skin-tight.
Modifying the Softie to use on a strap:

Sew ends of nylon's toe together to encircle head.
*******\ l
* *************************
* l * - Cut at 45
* l * degree angle
* l *
* l *
* ****************************** - Sew strap to
* ********/ Bottom - Around 4" nylon here
The makers of the new PocketMonkey describe it as follows:
* Super-comfy with realistic hang
* Movable balls in their own sac
* Firm bulbous heads
* Floppy dicks
* Gristly core
* 'P-hole'
* special requests accomodated * size * shape * firmness
The PocketMonkey costs $60 plus $5 for shipping and handling
($10 for international orders). CA residents add local sales
tax. Send check or money order to:

J. Stallory
2708 Sunset
Oakland, CA 94601
510-533-2495
pocketmonkey@artjack.com

Island Novelties (which has now taken over management from
Creative Growth Enterprises) makes a full range of genital
prosthetics, from the basic $45 "Herbie" foam pants stuffer
to the $300 multi-purpose "Herb," which comes with harness,
stiffener to enable sexual function, and optional urinary
capability. For a catalogue, write to:

Island Novelties International
401 E. Foothill Blvd. #107
Monrovia, CA 91016
email: rackerman@juno.com

Made by a professional prosthesis maker, the "FTM Prosthesis"
comes in 14 skin-tones and can be held in place (apparently
for several days) with a special glue so that you can wear it
without underwear. It is said to look great and feel fairly
realistic, and it costs around $350. You can see pictures
and read info at:

http://www.picknowl.com.au/homepages/joedarienzo/.

The custom-made De Nijs Prothesis from the Netherlands is made
from the silicone gel material used in surgical implants plus
silicone covering, which give it a very natural feel and weight
that produces a realistic looking and feeling bulge. It comes
with a button on the base of the penis for attachment to the
outside of the underwear, but one can modify one's underwear to
include an elastic buttonhole for attachment on the inside. The
prosthesis adjusts to body temperature, and can be worn to swim in
the ocean or pool. Its $600 prices includes a two year warranty,
and if softening occurs within that period it can be sent back
for injection of additional silicone without charge. Send Ms.
De Nijs your specifications in cm, also including
your height, chest size, hip size, and waist size, as well as
coloring. If you are in a hurry, you can fax her your letter to
her phone number.

Anna de Nijs
Johannes Verhulststraat 10
1071 NC Amsterdam
Netherlands
Calling or faxing from USA: 011-31-20-662-2549
http://www.phallusprosthesis.com

Shoes: These can be a real problem if you have small feet,
although you do save money if you can wear boys' athletic
shoes. For dress shoes, the boys' section of a department store
can be a good place to look. If you need cheap dress shoes and
don't mind synthetic ones, try Payless - they carry a full range
of boys' sizes. I've had good luck with the shiny (as opposed to
"greasy" finish) Doc Marten's Oxfords - they make good dress
shoes (especially if you can find a pair without the trademark
yellow stitching), and they come in sizes as small as a UK 3 (US
boys' 4 1/2). They also add about an inch to your height. One
company that you can custom order really nice dress shoes in
even very small sizes from is:

Bostonian
(800) 345-2786

Bass makes its classic Buc shoe down to a size 5:

http://www.ghbass.com/ghbass/default.asp

There is also a company that makes shoes with lifts:

Richlee Shoe Company
P.O. Box 3566
Frederick, MD 21705

Socks: Men tend to wear white socks only with athletic shoes,
so stick to dark socks with other shoes. If your feet are too
small for men's dress socks, wear boys' socks, and, if you
can't find any boys' dress socks you like, the women's ribbed
trouser socks at Banana Republic made good dress socks (don't
worry, no one will know you're cross-dressed :-). For smaller
sweat socks, Woolworth's sells very inexpensive 10-packs of
boys' size 9-11 white socks.

Voice: Women tend to use an upward inflection at the end of
their sentences, while men tend to speak in a monotone.

Body Language: Women tend to be less obtrusive, while men tend
to take up more space. If you watch the commuters on a trolley,
the women tend to sit with their legs crossed and their arms
drawn in, and the men tend to sit with their legs apart and
their arms out.

Bathrooms: FTM's are actually fairly fortunate in this area
because men are far less observant and social than women - they
usually just go in, do their business, and leave. Just march
calmly in, use the stall, and march calmly out - if you rush
around nervously you'll be far more likely to attract
attention. Remember, even genetic men have to sit down
sometimes.

You do not need to be able to stand and pee in order to pass,
but some guys do so by using a rolled up plastic coffee can lid
with the edge cut off as a urinary "funnel." There are some
commercially available stand-and-pee devices:

The "Freshette" is a plastic urinary device originally designed
for genetic females to use while camping. It is available from
the following sources:

Recreational Equipment, Inc. ($13 for device alone)
1700 45th Street East
Sumner, WA 98290
1-800-426-4840

Campmor ($20 for device plus disposable bags and carrying case)
1-800-230-2151 (catalogue)
1-800-CAMPMOR (orders)
Website: http://www.campmore.com
Email: info@campmor.com

The urinary assist device known as Le Funelle also allows one to
stand and pee and can be flushed down the toilet after use. It
takes a lot of practice to use properly without embarrassing
leakage from the device's rear opening because of its lack of
rigidity, but it does work. The advantages of Le Funelle is its
compact size (it folds flat to about the size of your palm
for ease of transport), and its more sanitary flushability, the
lack of which is the main problem with the plastic devices on
the market. A box of 10 funnels costs $12.95 from a mail order
travel supplier:

Magellan's
110 W. Sola Street
Santa Barbara, CA 93101-3007
1-800-962-4943

Finally, a very large part of passing is sheer confidence and
bravado. If you really believe you're a man (which you are) and
project this belief to the rest of the world, it will go a long
way towards also convincing others. Any difficult feature you
might have (high voice, smooth face, small shoulders, wide hips,
lack of height, etc.) is one that some genetic men have also -
there are even genetic men with enlarged chests (male
gynecomastia).