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By a friend of a friend
- We know stuff about tanks
- A 5-day trip requires only one suitcase
- We can open all our own jars
- We can go to the bathroom without a support group
- We don't have to learn to spell a new last name
- We can leave a motel bed unmade
- We can kill our own food
- We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness
- Wedding plans take care of themselves
- If someone forgets to invite us to something they can still be our friend.
- Underwear is £5 a three-pack
- If you are 34 and single nobody notices
- Everything on our faces stays the original color
- Three pair of shoes are more than enough
- We don't have to clean the house if the meter reader is coming.
- Car mechanics tell us the truth
- We can sit quietly and watch a game with a friend for hours without thinking "He must be mad at me."
- Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 people, on Christmas eve, and in 45 minutes
- Gray hair and wrinkles only add character
- We can drop by and see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
- If another guy shows up at a party in the same outfit you just might become lifelong friends
- Your pals will never trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"
- We are not expected to know the names of more than 5 colors.
- We almost never have a "strap problem" in public
- We are totally unable to see wrinkles in our clothes
- The same hairstyle lasts for years-maybe decades
- We don't have to shave below the neck
- A few belches are expected and tolerated
- Our belly usually hides our big hips
- One wallet, one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons
- We can do our nails with a pocketknife
- We have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache
Any more ideas?
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