 |
| Name: |
Bodwin
Slipper |
| Hobbies: |
DIY
Fireworks, Dog Sculpture, Chainsaw Customisation, Electricity, Buck
Rogers, insulting everyone I meet. |
| Desk: |
Bodwin's
"Big Eye" on the World! Bizarre stories from around the
globe. |
| Philosophy: |
Anything
barking, yapping, howling and growling in the middle of the night
should be shot. |
| Personal
Statement: |
Why
do I bother? |
|
 |
| Name: |
Dwayne
Gormless |
| Hobbies: |
My
computer. |
| Desk: |
Dwayne's
Tech News & tea boy. |
| Philosophy: |
Why
go outside when your computer offers so much more? |
| Personal
Statement: |
Computers
are our friends. |
|
 |
| Name: |
Nigel
Loser |
| Hobbies: |
Very
modern art, Lunatic Asylum Trading cards, caffeine, shouting, upsetting
Dwayne. |
| Desk: |
Breaking
News, bits and bobs. |
| Philosophy: |
Caffeine
is a gift from the Gods, drink it in abundance. |
| Personal
Statement: |
If
it's wet, drink it. |
|
 |
| Name: |
Trevor
D'ork |
| Hobbies: |
Doing
my accounts, Tie collecting, grinning, collective uselss facts, deep
discussions with Dwayne. |
| Desk: |
Trevors
Trivia & figure of office insults. |
| Philosophy: |
Everyone
needs boring facts. They must be preserved so we can bore the future
generations. |
| Personal
Statement: |
Facts
make life worth living. |
|
 |
| Name: |
Betty
M. Inger |
| Hobbies: |
Painting,
searching for a boyfriend, trying to look sexy, insulting Trevor. |
| Desk: |
Betty's
Mad News & Office Security Guard. |
| Philosophy: |
If
you're naturally sexy and beautiful I hate you, if you're not I sympathise
more than you'd think. |
| Personal
Statement: |
I'm
not training to be a clown. |
|
 |
| Name: |
Vera
G. Ross |
| Hobbies: |
Nose
growing, rubbing my chin, repelling men, sympathising with Betty. |
| Desk: |
Vera's
Humour. |
| Philosophy: |
If
you can't smile you're in big trouble, like me. |
| Personal
Statement: |
Anyone
got any funny jokes? |
|
 |
| Name: |
Olga
Nekkid. |
| Hobbies: |
Sex,
predicting the future (badly), giving people my Mona Lisa smile, sex,
worrying Dwayne. |
| Desk: |
Olga's
Horoscopes & Office Man Eater. |
| Philosophy: |
God
gave women bodies to attract men, in my case He gave me more. |
| Personal
Statement: |
Have
you seen my bed yet? |
|
 |
| Name: |
Dan "Editor" Bucket. |
| Hobbies: |
Bucket
collecting, hiding, small spaces, Olga's bed, words and stuff. |
| Desk: |
Editors
Letters & Staff Insulter. |
| Philosophy: |
If
you think it's too small you haven't tried hard enough yet. |
| Personal
Statement: |
Buckets
Rule! |
|
