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fake predictions by Olga Nekkid

Hello my darlings! Another month is upon us and it's a mixed bag this time! It's the way the cookie crumbles? We can't have it all our own way can we? I wish that were true because I'd spent some serious playtime inside Dan's bucket! Maybe next month everyone will be happy, rich, sexually fullfilled, energised, optimistic and brimming over with joy! We can but dream can't we? Being a Gemini myself I'm having a mixed month, happy and dubious, deflated yet hopeful!!
See you all next month!
Olga.

ARIES No one likes you this month do they? Is that because you're being a bit of an asshole? Worried about money? Not enough sex? Bad diet? Word of advice, strangers don't care about that stuff so don't bother them!	TAURUS You suddenly have no money, you spent it all on useless junk and everyone is laughing at you! You have a business idea that might pay off in the future but for now poverty is the way forward!
GEMINI Another great month for you!! HE is working again, your working life has developed properously, kids are happy (sort of) and the summer is almost upon us. I bet your orgasmic with happiness aren't you? No? Ah well, can't have everything eh?	CANCER Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Just because your marriage is over, your house burned down and the dog died doesn't mean it's the end of the world!! Come on, give us a smile and find the nearest hooker!
LEO You'll have a mixed month. Smooth and rough at the same time...but that's how you like it eh??!!!	VIRGO Every time you look in the mirror in the morning you should be smiling and then laughing because if everyone else is going to laugh at you, you may as well be the first to do it!
LIBRA You will be taking an interest in something new and erotic this month! Enjoy it while it lasts becuase you know deep down they might be cheating on you...and don't forget the lubricant!	SCORPIO Why do you bother? No one takes the slightest notice do they? Sod em all, you know you're right even when the facts are in their favour! Ah now don't cry, go get some chocolate ice cream!
SAGITTARIUS You want excitement and really wild thing this month. Sex life sucks doesn't it? My advice is to hook up with a Libran for an erotic weekend!	CAPRICORN It's okay to order a pizza, eat a bucket of ice cream, watch a sad movie and cry your eyes out!! Just don't do it every night! Move on with your life and march forward into that promised land...or something.
AQUARIUS This is a good time for desicions. Make up your mind! Don't fart about in the middle, get to it and make a difference. Time to tidy the garden up a bit too so you can have a barbecue, get really drunk and puke on the flowers!	PISCES Fish rock! Get yourself a pond and some big fish to watch swimming around, very relaxing. You need harmony and fullfilment in your life and fish are the way to go, swimming or on a plate - what's the difference?