The Dance of Anger

Anger is a signal, and one worth listening to.
Anger may be a message that :

1. we are being hurt
2. that our dignity/self-respect is being violated
3. that our needs are not being adequately met
4. or simply that something is not right in our life.

Our anger may tell us that we are not addressing an important emotional issue in our lives, or that too much of our self - our values, beliefs, desires or ambitions - is being compromised. Our anger may be a signal that we are doing more and giving more than we can comfortably do or give. Our anger may warn us that others are doing too much for us, at the expense of our own competence and growth. Just as physical pain tells us to take our hand off the hot stove, the pain of our anger preserves the very integrity of our self. Our anger can motivate us to say 'no' to the ways in which we are defined by others and 'yes' to the dictates of our inner self.

From the book, The Dance of Anger by Harriet Lerner Ph.D published by Thorsons, an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers.

DMW comment:
When we get uncontrolably angry:
We are anxious. If we supress our feelings we become depressed. If we do not try to understand our angry feelings we will continue in ignorance and vunerablity to the causes. We will not outgrow the resulting bad behaviour, uncontrollable rage, denial and self-justification. We are not - always right!