A Happy Couple makes a Happy Child

"It isn't so much about staying married for the sake of the kids. Couples need to stay happily married if they can, in order to help their children."says Dr. John Gottman

Children constantly monitor the emotional climate of the home. Even at play, they subconsciously take in data and make decisions about themselves and their lives. Here are just some of the decisions children are forming as they move through their day:

Marriage is ____________
Families are ___________
Husbands are ___________
Wives are ______________
Children are ___________
I am ___________________

How do you think your child is filling in the blanks?

Children emerge from childhood with a belief system that shapes their adult lives. You already know this: abused children are more likely to marry abusers, happy children more likely to attract happy relationships. So, how do we give our child the gift of a healthy relationship?
John Gottman, Ph.D., and author of the book "Seven Principles for Making a Marriage Work," says that the behaviors that kill marriage are criticism, defensiveness, stone-walling and contempt. He also says that marriage needs a five-to-one ratio of appreciation to criticism -- a one-to-one ratio is usually a precursor to divorce!

Children model the behavior they see -- yes, from friends, celebrities and professional athletes, but more importantly, from you! Words such as "Treat your friends like you want to be treated" and "Be nice" fall on deaf ears when children observe the exact opposite between their parents. Would you wish for your children to have the same relationship with a spouse as you now have with yours?

This is also true in how you relate to your ex, your in-laws, your child-care provider. Your influence on how they see the world is far greater than Janet Jackson's or Britney Spear's.

Your relationship with your partner is the emotional glue that binds your family together.
It's also the base for peace at home.