Review of the year 2000

Drew reflects on a momentous year, which was conveniently arranged into months...

January

The year started precisely at midnight, January 1st, on the Thames Embankment. A group of people, who in time would become known as the bunchofcaners, stood amidst a few million revelers, exuding a characteristic abundance of energy and over-excitement. Litres of vodka were consumed ending in a drunken ramble around London. Rob wondered at 3am why they hadn't set the fireworks off yet. He then fell over. Nick disappeared. Drew spent several hours crying. Frankly, an ominous way to start a clean sheet of a year. 

February

February kicked off with Rob, Keith, Nick, Julie and Catherine hosting a party in Tooting on the 5th, and what a blinder it was. Washing machines, Fridges and all horizontal surfaces got broken. Rob, Gerds and Dave DJ'd throughout the night, prompting several phonecalls from the landlord, who foolishly lives next door. Dave, in what looks like becoming a habit, breaks Rob's headphones. All in all, it's an absolute fest of sex, drugs and rock'n'roll.

The following day, as we're clearing up the lounge, there is a motionless body under a blanket the sofa. Despite crashing around with bin-bags, he doesn't stir. A crowd of caners assemble in the room, chatting, drinking and smoking and finally, after hours of being kicked and sat on, the blanket-boy gets up. A hairy, yeti-like man emerges, and everyone pisses themselves. Conversation continues for another good hour before someone asks "I hope you don't think this is rude, but who the fuck are you?".

"I'm a friend of Mark's" - which draws blank looks from everyone in the room.

"Well more a friend of John's actually" - more blank looks, this guy quite clearly knows no-one, and no-one knows him. Eventually someone establishes that he is a friend of a friend of a friend, and therefore is legitimately drinking our Stella!

When enough people are ready, we transplant to the Tramsheds, the greatest come-down pub in the tri-state area. Paul and Keith between them are performing for the crowd. Paul's rendition of his "BBB" story is a particular delight and the silence is quite eerie when he passes out at around 6pm. 

After that, February passed with the speed that comes from being such a piss-ant short month. One other noticeable event was Drew at a work party in the Loop on the 10th February. After spending 12 quid on a jug of cocktails, he doesn't notice as he absent-mindedly pours it down one trouser-leg over the course of a ten minute chat-up of some poor unsuspecting girl. Oops.

March

The opening gambit of March came on the 4th, the annual horror session that is Wales vs England. In usual fashion, Drew rounds up a whole selection of English to come and be shouted at as Wales pound them to the ground. Spending the day in various pubs in Twickenham and Richmond, it was a Tapas fuelled booze-up of the gargantuan proportions that only over-excited Welshmen can deliver. Thanks to Alan for giving us somewhere to sleep, and sorry about the vomit. 

On the 11th we hit Polish Vodka bar Na Zadrowie, as some distantly connected person was having a party, and more importantly, Badger was in town, visiting from Jersey. A festival of flavoured vodkas that resulted in the the next day achieving the award for 'Hangover of the Year' for all who were involved.

March ended on the 31st with the first Escape from Samsara of the year, a night that introduced Nessi and Tom to the world of canery. As ever, the Fridge delivers the goods. Drew gets spiritual with the confetti at the end, and waxes lyrical on it to this very day. 

April

April followed March, and there was no surprise there. A month dominated by Rob's running of the London Marathon. His efforts drew a crowd of the caners, who kept in touch with the little lad on his mobile every mile of the way, from the comfort of a pub table. Managing to get out of seat as he was approaching mile 25, we made it down to the barriers just in time to cheer him past. He made it round in 3 hours 45 minutes, not bad at all. He's not run a single mile since. 

May

May started back in the Loop, this time for Claire's leaving-do, as she left work for pastures new. A champagne frenzy ending in Rob and Drew dancing like loons to cheezy tunes in front of Claire's bemused and thankfully "soon to be ex" workmates.

The next day, Drew gets blonde highlights which will be emulated all summer by Rob, and then disappears to Morocco with Claire for a few weeks. An excellent time was had in the Marrakech markets, Jimi Hendrix's hangout Essaouira, and driving through the western most reaches of the Sahara. 

May was of course, defined on the 27th by the mud soaked festival they referred to as "Homelands". Arguably the definitive bunchofcaners night of the year, and certainly the night that sparked the mental summer that was had by all. Fiona hosted a cracking after party, where we got a chance to wash our socks. We met Karen for the first time. We gave Paul van Dyk a birthday card. Can it possibly get any better than this?

June

Well apparently yes. The following week, Drew celebrates his birthday with a pub trip and a "few" drinks in the Firestation on the 3rd June. Six bottles of Moet after dinner and emotions (and vomit) pour out into the open in the biggest drinking session of the year so far. The Firestation maintains it's status as the one pub you can't enter without leaving completely and utterly shit-faced. 

Then the weekend of the 9th June, where a large BOC contingent head to Alton Towers, which is normal enough, but getting the landlord of a pub to have a lock-in with banging techno and UV lighting is a bit rarer. 

Only a week later, and we're at it again, the GateCrasher Summer Sound System on the 17th. Not the best of the summer dance festivals by any means, with dodgy atmosphere and the crowd seeming to peak too soon. And as Vicky put it "it was too hot and then too cold."

Rachel B's 21st birthday on the 23rd sees a gathering at Spirit, at which, to our surprise, Paul provides the entertainment. 

And just to rub it in, June ended on a Friday, the 30th, at which point Drew, Claire, Rob, Andy and Vicki fly to Jersey to see Badger for the weekend. 

July

Kicking off in Jersey involving getting horribly drunk in a very dodgy club, playing crazy golf for two hours and having a champagne barbeque in the rain. Marvelous.

The following week was Nick's birthday and on the 8th we again barbeque'd it in the afternoon, followed by an evening in the Dogstar and afterwards Club 414. Mikey P came along for his first evening with BOC, loosing it slightly in 414. Drew clung to the walls while Nick's hammerhead impression was worthy of the Shark book Keith gave him for his birthday. Drew unveils the first product of his new-found art career, the seminal work entitled "Mitzi". The Dogstar got the thumbs up as an appropriate venue for Rob to start planning his Departures night. 

Same day and Karen and friends hit the Leeds Love Parade. It pissed it down all day but a great time was had by all. Can't wait for 2001 when Skegness is considering hosting a sister party to New Orleans' Mardi Gras.

Saturday 15th, and Drew and Rob awaken at 5am with a hangover that you only get from three bottles of red and a litre of vodka. Julie and Dave are at the door and we're off to throw ourselves out of an airplane, strapped only to a guy who looks suspiciously like a porn star. We're forced to wait around suffering for hours, until at about 4pm, our number is up and off we go. An amazing experience and one thoroughly recommended, but suggest you get a good night's sleep before hand! 

The all-action July continued on the 22nd when 24 of us turn up for go-karting, only to find they've cocked up the booking and only have it down for 4. After much arguing they concede the error, but the damage is done and we are forced into an impromptu pub crawl, taking in the delights of Acton, and the wonders of the sofa room in the P&P on Dean Street. Great work. 

August

Claire's birthday on the 5th seemed like the perfect excuse to take a huge quantity of wine and champagne to Clapham Common and get lary well into the night.

A week later on the 12th, and a certain house in Colchester hosted the outrageous Hawaii party. From Paul doing Tom Selleck in Tesco's, to the neighbours dog being traumatised by several hundred pounds worth of professional standard fireworks; from Drew's Gem painting, to Clare's amazing work on the decorations - this was a party into which everyone threw maximum effort. The music was blinding and Dave even managed to continue his un-broken chain of parties breaking Rob's headphones. The cocktail bar was in full effect, the bedrooms all got thorough usage. A legendary night, and the letter form the council is to this day framed proudly on the wall. 

Saturday 26th August, and the group make the long drive to Creamfields, to rescue festivals from the bad-name given by Gatecrasher. A blinding night was had by all, and the mud situation gave everyone's shoes a huge sigh of relief. Andy's drive home qualifies as perhaps one of the most frightening mornings of the year. 

September

And it came to pass, that in the ninth month, a new word entered the English Language, as bunchofcaners.com was launched as the platform to record all the madness of the summer, share the memories and the photos, and generally take the piss out of Rob's haircuts. Launching with the Ibiza photos from 1999, bunchofcaners, immediately captured the hearts and minds of the nation, and was even mentioned in the Queen's christmas speech. Or maybe I had too much sherry.....

Anyway, the 16th September saw the party of the year hosted at the Dogstar. Departures - named as Rob's leaving do, and for a number of the Glenburnie crowd moving on - was a who's who of the bunchofcaners, an event where everyone seemed to know everyone else, creating such a great atmosphere that the Met Office saw it showing up on Michael Fish's weather map. The decorations were again fantastic (Clare et al) but the high point must have been the music. Peter opened with a well cool hip-hop set, followed by Dave's headphone breaking extravagance. Rob played his last set of the year and by the time Gerds came on, the place was absolutely jumping. By 3am, as Gerds played out with that tune, the crowd were besides themselves, and the three DJs lined up for a great kodak moment. Seminal work.

Post-Departures promises of retirement from canery were rife. Rob and Andy fly off to Thailand for the adventure of a life time. And things quieten down for a while. Even Drew's weekend in Amsterdam avoided all things cane, as the boys undertook a weekend of intense charity work to cleanse the soul ;-)

October

Rob and Andy send regular reports back from Thailand, where mushrooms, lady-boys and Fish seem to be on the menu. They're scraping by on a huge budget, able to buy drinks for everyone in ramshackle Vietnamese bars. 

Meanwhile in Blighty, Drew is in retirement, right up to the point when a night at Fabric on the 27th with Karen sparks off the intense run of clubbing weekends that has filled up the Autumn. Fabric was followed the next day with the Kink vs LooseBooty party in some warehouse, where we met lots of new friends and got very very battered. 

November

The month which saw bunchofcaners take clubbing to new extremes, and saw the website catch on as the hit rate sky-rockets. 

The exploits at the Drome are well documented. Ful-on-Fest came first, at which we met Gavin and Adam, Steve gained his wings and Drew squirmed his way around Keith's sofa all Saturday. 

Trancentral on the 24th introduced us to Katy, and brought about a weekend of absolute filth in Tooting. Great fun. 

December

To visits to Samsara at the Fridge, an invite to review Logic at the Fridge, VIP access to Home, and Undertow at the Drome for old times sake. Add to that Drew getting naked in Stockholm, several work Christmas parties, including a great free ride in Brighton's Royal Albion Hotel, and a number of "welcome home" drinks for Rob, and you have December 2000, a month of the utmost canery, in a year which defined the very phrase. And all that was pre-Christmas. 

Just before the year finished, Drew hosted an impromptu cheese and wine party to try and clear some of the 48 bottle that virginwines.com delivered by mistake (thanks Branson!). Clearly that turned into a stupid mess. 

Now with just hours to go of this crazy millennial affair, we view New Year's Eve with anticipation and maybe a little apprehension. This has been an incredible year. We have achieved so much, been to so many places - together or individually. We have extended this group of people to the point where we are going to have to start looking for much bigger venues for our next party. In this website we have created a focus for our mindless banter and clubbing antics. We each now know so many people with whom to have lost weekends. We are indeed a bunchofcaners. 

But as the minutes tick away to the big midnight, let us also look forward to next year - 2001. How will that work out? At the start of this year I couldn't believe it would top 1999, but look at it! Can every year continue to top the last? It can and it will, because that is the bunchofcaners philosophy - that every single thing that is done, must be done with the maximum effort. That's what I figured out for myself this year, and I only really twigged in the Autumn. Now we have a whole year to which the rule can be applied. And we're all going together. Buckle up because 2001 is going to be one hell of a ride!

drew

xx

Click here to read the bunchofcaners review the year themselves. Cripes!