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Elinor Predota

Interfaith Ministry &
Stress Management

It seems in modern life that there are few times or places where our changing rights and responsibilities are celebrated as we grow from childhood to adulthood and from adulthood to become elders. You can, however, decide for yourself to create a space where you, your family and your community may recognise these changes, by celebrating personal rites of passage.

Entering Adulthood
In western European culture, there is no one point in life at which we become adults - it is a process without a defined beginning or end. This can make it difficult to choose a point at which to hold a ceremony to mark growing maturity. Some points at which it might seem right to hold a ceremony are the first shave or the voice fully dropping, for boys becoming men, and the first bra or first period, for girls becoming women.

If a young person is happy to use these as markers of their growing maturity in a public setting, that is wonderful. However, these and other physical changes can be a source of intense embarrassment. In addition, they mark the beginning of social and emotional maturity, not necessarily its achievement. Alternatively, or in addition therefore, the following events might be appropriate markers:-

  • leaving full-time education
  • gaining employment/self-employment
  • moving out of the parental home

Entering Elderhood
The "cult of youth" which western European and North American cultures seem to have adopted has been much commented upon, and yet, as birth rates drop in these regions, the population is becoming increasingly a society of elders. More and more people, as they advance in years, are seeing the wisdom, experience and freedom of age as something to be celebrated.

Again, there are no set points for marking elderhood. Some suggestions might be:-

  • youngest child leaving home
  • retirement
  • (for women) the end of menopause

Useful Questions
Here are some questions you might find it useful to ask when considering celebrating a personal rite of passage:-

  • Do you want it to be a purely personal ceremony, or do you want to invite friends, family members and/or members of your community?
  • What does it mean to you to be an adult/an elder? What are your goals?
  • What are you looking forward to? What do you want to give?
  • What are you leaving behind? What will you miss?
  • Who or what has been important in making you the person you are today? Do you want to acknowledge that in any way?

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