CERN builds huge ring for electrons, gambling
News for 4th Apr
From the crumbling wasteland of the European speed marbles centre comes news that scientists are to build a synchroton of diameter 180 miles so they might test how fast they can race infintesmisally small particles in a circle. Again...
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Political Snow
Fresh from a snake-skinning expedition in the Andes, Frank Dobson today announced that he is to no longer fight the London mayoral election purely on the merits of his beard. Instead he said "this election will be won by the person who make the most outrageous and blatantly unattainable promises". Political commentators were rather amused by this, given that Dick Whittington promises of streets lined with gold is a clear favourite. Dobson has so far failed to make any crazy promises but did say he would award a medal to everyone. "Zany" said one disenchanted member of the illuminati.
Ministers Told 2001 Acronym Needed by June
"Time is running out for Y2K" ministers were told today at a star-studded ceremony in London's Hyde Park. "In little over 8 months time, Y2K will be a thing of the past". A government task force has been racking it's brains for a successor to the acronym worlds biggest cash cow. "How do we encapsulate the feeling of 2001 into three letters?" asked puzzled MP's. "Y2K has a clear meaning, it stands for anxiety, scaremongering, profiteering and disappointment. All hallmarks of the Labour government. We need something to carry the torch well into next year". One of the best suggestions so far has been HAL, an idea favoured by Tony Blair which symbolises the governments position as an overpowering entity hellbent on completing its "mission" to the detriment of all others. Indeed, the annual party conference often echoes to the sound of 'Daisy Daisy'. Another contender is NWO, proposed by a number of masons who later disappeared in mysterious circumstances.
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