5th Nov
Nightmare inducing rock formation
Being the non-strangers to ghastly tales of moon trickery here we were slightly concerned to hear of new research being conducted by Grisome Bentley at the University of Tithebarn. It seems that the cheese element (comprising 2 halves of the moon crust) is actually a bizarre basalt-orangutan compound know to the industry as TH-107J. No sooner had this reaesrch been researched than a sinister going on occurred skywards. The moon turned a deadly shade of blue and made threats which it cannot possibly hope to carry out.
Patrick Moore, space veteran and original conquistadore was not on hand for thrifty analysis. He did reassure a gypsy convention over the telephone that there was nothing to worry about though, "You are quite safe, the moon has no such forks. It lies and expects us to notice it. Piffle!". A display of dancing was held in honour of their newfound safety. This ended abruptly when they were all crushed by a deluge of forks.
"Four days and no way to Spain!" cried an eager spacewatcher. Man made rocket man (made) and long time scourge of so-called Babel conspirators (long story) the Rt Hon Jerald Higgins ignored insults directed to his strange name and instead constructed a huge space fork with which he pins the safety of humanity on. "If ever a huge meteor or similar heavy object of the cosmos approaches Earth, we can fire this thing at the moon. We therefore will not be the only ones to go and it will save much jeering from our intensely amusing satellite". Needless to say the idea was not universally welcomed, especially by the residents of Leigh who perished during testing - a nasty incident that will no doubt land Higgins in the Tower.
Fork = Fawke = Fouk
Bonfires! Cry the insane. Bonfires! Burn stuff! Not wanting to distract from mass conflagration later this evening the rain chief of Dorset has been campaigning for a large increase in the number of watercycled robot doorstop attendants - a campaign he has fought with much vigour since his release from the institution. "Burn me!" he cried. So they did.
Something was lost
And they still cant find it, not a trace.
Something was found
Yes but this was something else.
Something else was found
This was actually the same thing as last time, they just forgot they had found it previously.
Nothing was found
It turns out they were mistaken. Nothing at all was found actually.
Mo(re) to co(me)..(.)
