6th Dec
Fishwick stadia bankrupts the world
Smaller, lesser known and generally overlooked foam-soaked leader of the free world, Bob Holness, has scratched Camelot's proverbial round table by winning his pound back on no less than sixteen thousand occassions... More...
Froking about on a day in summer
What be 'froking' say you? But do you really? This is the question posed by Prof Jeremy Simpson of Brunel University. In a vast study of the worlds entire populaion he found that only 6 people queried his use of the nonsense-word 'froking'. He believes that whilst some people may have mistaken it for 'forking' or even 'pork pie', the vast majority of people seem content to allow others to talk crap. "It was £30 million well spent" said a running & jumping Simpson.
When all else failed - owls!
Disgruntled commuters attempting to drive their way through a meddling forest received an unexpected helping hand yesterday - from a flotilla of owls. The rebellious young birds of the night had also had ebough of the rampant greenery around them. "Build a carpark" they may have said could owls speak. Jubilant members of consumer group Which? decided to forsake fish fingers in light of this remarkable teamwork.
A moment lost revels in pity
Cursing Byzantine throw-back, Jack Straw was furious this morning at allegations that he had wasted "a couple of minutes" during last month. "I did no such thing!" said the buffoon himself, "I have analysed my diary and think you will intereste dto note I spent that time contemplating". When quizzed on what it was he was mentally imaging he could only reply "Just stuff". A member of a police force from somewhere said something funny but that, sir, is of no relevance to these matters.
Meal ideas for today
- Cheese on toast done in frying pan
- Barbecued spagetti with sugar
- Toast cooked in microwave
- Boil-in-tin pudding cooked in wok, with herbs
When thegroat frendier - what!?
