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7th Oct
Nuurrr... Now well over 180-ish stories in the archives...
What-ho-ho-ho schocking missing ratting, and stuff
Be saying "Erk" says we. e.rat is, or rather more correctingly, was, an update failure in the last week-o-bit. Explanations range from yet more rampant drunkeness to frozen animal hoardings. The last bit is related to a nasty incident with a grizzled fen. Anyways - rest assured in your cot that we are back to a kind of. Purposeful, that.
Green/Blue object sparks
An object consisting of two colours at once has been found in the British Musuem. Musuem-like curator of coloured objects, John Snow, made a speech about this; "We just don't know" he said. We suspect he is being honest but a little foolish. The last time someone made an announcement as short and obviously fouk-off as that - he bled for a goose. The goose ruined two careers and then became mayor.
Horse quietness in no-nay shocker!
The Russian Horse who should be making worldwide news in a way not seen since the days of roaming wilderbeasts is not doing so. Since being arested for his part in a devasting drag racer escapade he has been confined to a cell of hay until Judge Jones can be arsed to wake up. The judge who is due to sentence the Horse last month has been asleep since 1942 when he pricked his finger on a spinning machine.
Polling for money
A surprise general election has been called today in an attempt to rule out any Conservative taking part. The general idea is that the blue tories will be too distracted in their tea & scone chats around that big camp fire. This will leave communist labour to enforce martial law, then vote hideously for themselves. Tony Blair famously commented "Die scum!" last week. He was (of course) referring to his toilet cleaning antics after a small fall-out with Benny Blonell, tape groager extraordinaire.
"hking..." he said forgetting to speak fully after he pressed record
Coming sooner (possibly) - the whole rat thing. i.e. musical rat, conspiratory vermin & quite possibly elsemore (new word)
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