Tormented soul told to shut up
News for 9th Feb
The lingering ethereal presence of long-dead Herman DeHavilland, forever mourning the loss of his true love, has been told in no uncertain terms to "shut the fouk up" by angry residents of his former home...
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Of interest
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This is nice
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Des & Jim offer spacial comment
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Catch up with this evil bastard, and see if he approves
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Other news
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Drug baron not called Carlos
Angry detectives descended on the island home of the infamous (and original) Mr Big like a wave of gelled wasps. After charging Mr Big with innumerable counts of drug-related offences they were also shocked to discover that his real name was not Carlos. Mr Big had successfully managed to work his way to the top of the drugs jetset by hiding his real identity, Dave Harris.
Hearty trust matter still not resolved
A man who lived life "his way" was more than a little surprised today to discover that his life was uncannily similar to a variety of mainstream books and films. James Bond said the news was "shocking". For over 30 years now, Mr Bond had lived the life of a superspy unaware that someone else was writing about the very same thing. Copyright lawyers on behalf of the James Bond licence owners quizzed Mr Bond, refusing to accept his vesion of events. "Do you expect us to believe this?" they asked. "No" said Mr Bond, "I expect you to die".
Great expectation not met
A student studying the anatomy of a frog was unafraid to admit that the book he had purchased for his course failed to meet his expectations. "I expected more from this" he said, just to confirm things. The boy had foolish bought Pride & Prejudice, well-known and much loved the world over but less than adequate for the dissection of a frog.
Avast we say!
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