11th Jan
Robots imagine world where humans rule
Scary robot of destruction, Grishton Isamov, has caused widespread panic in his sordid world of iron mockery by publishing a book for fellow robots envisioning a world where human being rule over their steely brethren... More...
Man-in-fish is women
The fabled Man-In-Fish of Durham has been unmasked as a women, carrying a spade reports the Durham Herald. The discovery was made last night when aforementioned In-Fish person was spotted doing late night shopping at a petrol station. "Avast!" cried the man behind the counter, "That'll be £4.59".
Losing spacial losses in space
Over eager fellows thinking they can beat the rush by purchasing ever-greater fuel filled cannons were dealt a serious blow today when Tony Blair set fire to the largets pile of crates ever amassed. "Let this be a beacon" cried Tony. "It is now clear" said a groundsman, "That pile of crap was blocking the garden". Other people were less than happy, inluding Mrs R Somerset from Leeds who was amongst the crates at the time of the lighting.
Frozen deity thaws to mortal
The long worshipped Ice Deity of Tibet has finally thawed out after a freak blast of sun from outer space. Pilgrims were dismayed to find that the object of their adulation was in fact John Grimsdale, a tourist from Sheffield who had become lost in 1958. "Blimey!" said Grimsdale. "Blimey!" said the gathered crowd. A passing eagle did not join the chorus for its beak had been sealed by toxins.
"Spool it THAT way" - Dudley Moore
