15th Nov
Man visits dog, dies
Tragedy struck earlier this morning when, without giving any good reason, a man visiting a dog died. First on the scene was ambulance bloke Gordon Freeman. "It's weird" he said. Someone else noted that "he just came to visit this dog, and died". The man has not been named due to an illiterate policeman.
Excuse still not found
Cambridge research scientists are still searching furiously for an excuse to waive responsibility for yesterdays catastrophic black hole experiment. This deadly science orgy resulted in the total annihilation of Woolpit. Once green Kyle Herminn was angry at the destruction of his childhood home. "I'm green with anger" he said.
Hot wok frozen prawn exemptions
Ken Hom, oriental master of oily spice cuisine has unveiled a new examination body, aimed at providing "the best education for sherking one-time fouk mountains". On it's first day (being today) it has signed up some 17,000 applicants for the 8 hour exam. No coursework is required which Homster explains is because "the exam utilises the element of surprise". "Egads!" said a medieval dude - quite appropriate we thought.
Counting money leads to rot
'No' says a sign outside 46b Baker Street. For decades people have been confused as to what this refusal refers to. Not any more. It seems (according to the Dead Sea scrolls) that the word 'No' is often used in secret communist handshakes.
Rogan Wogan - Spicy celebrity
