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Nuurrr... Now well over 160-ish stories in the archives...

Frozen monster madness scares man of steel
An Brazilian adventurer known as IceManJones was frightened beyond repair today by a huge behemoth of a snowman. This snow 'man' threatened four lesser known tribes and dried out the Amazon. Fellow explorer, Billy Greene has slain the monster but not before it could turn Antarctica to ice.

Today in Cuba Much as yesterday but look out for that bike. Oh, it's okay, it's gone now.

Foul play emphasis wrongly placed
In an attempt to cut down on foul play and profanities in world football, FIFA supremo and mindless buffoon Sep Blatter has outlined his new plans. In a star studded ceremony he proudly proclaimed "Lets stamp this fouking crap out of our game, now!". He emphasised this by kicking his second in command. The assembled crowd were astounded. The display of hypocrisy was not a concern, more the fact that Sep had spoken on-topic. He followed it up with "Cascading through waterfalls like an angry horse... that's how we'll do it". The crowd let out a collective sigh of relief.

A futuristic look at the past
Top science bloke, Trevor McDonald has unveiled a new machine at the Sheffield science & beer festival being held just outside Hartlepool. "The machine has extraordinary implications for mankind" said the Trevster. Thieves later made off with the machine, and one of them is now 50ft tall and ruling Australia. "Bollocks!" shouted a reddened Trevola, "That was the wrong machine". The machine he had meant to unveil was a 12 second trouser press.

What ho, Watson!
Cigar riddled chair filled room above a smoky street! Thats where we feel at today and feel good we do. Enough of that though, you want to know what will happen tommorow don't you? Well, we'll let you into a little secret... we have no idea at at all whatsoever. This is the real world y'know not your BBC type made-up world. You people make us sick.

Coming sooner (possibly) - the whole rat thing. i.e. musical rat, conspiratory vermin & quite possibly elsemore (new word)