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17th Sep
Nuurrr... Now well over 160-ish stories in the archives...
Importantly newstuff in word combination triad type shenanigans
Yes, there is a cool new forum type thing where you can share your ideas on conspiracy, news and thing-stuff on a regular basis. Be clicking here to go.
Zenno Lenno longevity explosion
After something like a year of playing continuously (just over a week), Zen Lenin the world famous communist rockers have finally stopped. After their marathon set, front man, Ivor Trotsky mumbled "We need a new song". A member of the crowd added "Or a new riff". The band are now making their way back from Mars and are expected home in 2006.
Cryptic meddlings infuriates sailors
A new hyper-powerful encryption technique has been sussed by clever people at the Lab o' Promise in Yorkshire. The way it works is to present the data in an unencrypted form but shout nonsense at the viewer so as to confuse them, hence them being unable to understand what they are reading. "It's like the lottery" said one of inventors.
Beatle wandering provokes revealation
John Lennons coal miner guitar (or some similar manual labour & machinery job, band) has been revealed for what it really is, a silk sheet with a painting of a guitar on it. The new owner was shocked "But I played it" he said. This person is now in some kind of institution where inmates cleverly paint on silk to escape from reality. "I'm not mad" he pleaded before security could beat him sufficiently to suppress further outbursts.
Man on hill
Fifteen people on seperate hills have combined to form the largest hill-web known to man. "This marks the start of a golden era" said Jenny a one-named paticipant. Quite why it does we are unsure but a clue apparently resides in Amstel train station, Amsterdam. There is reportedly a coin buried under the pizza stand. This coin is worth about a quid but depicts a scene involving mountains and clouds - where they got their inspiration from we suppose.
Y2K terror
Sources close to mineral and pulsing natural thing industries have released details of a horrifying consequence of the year 2000. Quartz will cease to exist. "When quartz was initially created, it was only intended to work for 4.5 billion years and a week" said Rod Nelson, a bloke who spoke to us this morning. World wide chaos is predicted as once accurate timepieces explode and unleash green noxious gases. Accurist have released a statement this afternoon which reads "Oh dear". We understand the talking clock will also begin shouting after the new year.
Fixing things may not work
A nice new study carried out by some advertising agency (no doubt) has confirmed something that a man in Barnoldswick had suspected for some time. Initially refusing to disclose the findings, the agency read us the conclusion - "In short, there is no guarentee that fixing the washer will result in a new variety of colour". The bespectacled man (Roger Thompson) from that town we mentioned before was "chuffed as fouk" when we gave him a basket. "I'll put some stuff in it" he squealed and we believe he will.
More days to come
Tommorow is another day. Excellent. It doesn't mean we can predict anything though does it? No Briggs 'Bones' Bensonses us y'know. Why dont you try this then? Not easy is it? Fools...
Coming sooner (possibly) - the whole rat thing. i.e. musical rat, conspiratory vermin & quite possibly elsemore (new word)
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