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20th Sep
Nuurrr... Now well over 170-ish stories in the archives...
Moon spottings reach exploding point
After long searches for the wayward moon-beast, it seems that several people have spotted it causing mayhem and quaking uncontrollably. Apparently it has been stealing buses, appearing in photographs of some rocks and indulging in ink-festivals. These entirely authentic spottings were revealed here, the e.rat forums.
Excuse me?
A woman today excused herself from work on the premise that she 'no longer was foaming'. Apart from making no sense, this also has some truth to it. She once sailed around the world but noone paid any attention. This, it is believed, is what resulted in her irrational fear of being shot at. "Most people just laugh it off" said a doctor of gun science, "She is under the impression she'd die or be seriously injured".
Explanatory failure disaster
A man called Bob faield to explain to Dave something very important. Dave was later compressed beyond comprehension and it was Bob's fault. Pressure groups are now calling for things "to be explained better" in future so this does not happen "again".
Charging horse fails to impress jousters
Irish police have finally come up with some kind of reason for holding the Russian Horse. "Horse is being held at the request of the Swedish government" said an Irishman. Apparently, after fleeing Russia, the Horse embarked upon a dragster race through Sweden. During this race he accidentally destroyed the Swedish government buildings and filled a river with dust. Damage to the river was irreversible and most of the water in Sweden is now covertly stolen from Australia. "We want blood!" said an angry Swede, "Sorry, we want water!" he later corrected himself. Do you think the horse did it? Have your say here.
Hideous self-demeanour
Gordon Burns has once again endeared himself to the US populace by calling some proud American tubes "foul abominations of straw-kind". This outburst came on a tour of Arkansas where he is building up to his bid for the US presidency. Local tube maker, Giles Roland said of Burns "The idiot, Strawsville is that way". He pointed in a direction but since we have no map of the area, it may not have been towards Strawsville. Despite his best attempts to scupper his own campaign, Burns has 94% of the popular vote at this stage according a poll carried out by The K Factor.
Brrrrrrrrr'ing shock non-Yeti like outburst
Mad fouk Yeti mandman, Frrgggghhh Grrrrttrr was cast out by fellow Yeti's after a speech on the future of Yetism, "Brrrrrrrrrrrrrr!" he had shouted. "Grrrrrr, grrttt Grrrrr!!!!" replied his fellow Yeti's and proceeded to beat him up. He will now be expelled from Norway to somewhere else.
2-m (tommorow)
We dont know...
Coming sooner (possibly) - the whole rat thing. i.e. musical rat, conspiratory vermin & quite possibly elsemore (new word)
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