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21st Sep
Nuurrr... Now well over 170-ish stories in the archives...
Farming conspiracy shackles man in mask
After the £500 trillion (or thereabouts) aid package to disillusioned farmers, the true horror of the deal has now come to light. The money will be used to build a series of tower prisons around the worlds coasts. In them, entire cities will be masked and stored for life. They will only be allowed an iron plate to scratch upon and may only pass this on to someone who cannot read. "They've tried this before" said Roger Moore, debonair actor, "It didn't work".
Alien moss-probe facial lander
A Martian weather satellite has met with a grisly end today as it became infested with moss. NASA was baffled by this, "It's not one of our satellites" they said "we don't give a fouk". It is widely believed that aliens (who have already expressed a desire to kill us all) are responsible. "It has all the hallmarks of an alien attack" said Dr Jones of Jodrell Bank, "All that moss and stuff".
Bllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaargggggggggggghhh
And thats just what he said.
Man invents radio!
A man somewhere in a marsh is claiming to have invented something he likes to call a "radi-o". Boris Freeman (his name), of somewhere else stood in the marsh for sixteen years with a bunch of wires and a metal tube. The device he built was found to interfere with mobile phone waves and has been disintegrated. "My precious radi-o" he wailed. We gave him a biscuit and he was happy again.
Martian man-in-moon mixup
Space-trotting jazzman, Buzz Aldrin today let slip that he didn't walk on the moon. He alledgedly walked on Mars. "It was fun" he said in a press conference. When asked why the pictures sent back did not show the red surface he suggested that we were looking back through rose tinted glasses. The assembled press tried to explain things back to Buzz but he didn't listen. "You are all wrong. My opinion is fact" he said.
M 2 C (abbrieviation)...
Coming sooner (possibly) - the whole rat thing. i.e. musical rat, conspiratory vermin & quite possibly elsemore (new word)
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