Kouch on hill is Krazzzeeee
Feeling the need to inspire wisdom and his own brand of inanity to a world riddled with noncy new-art and the expression of free stupidity, Tom Grace, B&Q's enfant terrible today felt the need to rename an item of furniture he had sat atop a grassy knoll. "The couch becomes a kouch, thereby expressing my deeper meaning that it's more zany side be apparent". Already shortlisted for a number of draconian tortures, Grace has shocked the establishment with his reversal into a skip this morning. '£200 of damage to public property' read a sign outside Westminster. Who knows what kind of crazy meaning this implies.

Declassified stealth technology to aid ministerial infidelity
A frosty reception was served up on a plate of icy death this afternoon as MP's met to discuss a worrying new direction that insane angular science has stolen. It seems several less savoury ministers are taking advantage of new designer 'stealth suits' to take part in all manner of outrageous deeds. One MP for a southern county is even reported to have gone so far as to cause reckless damage to a series of barns in the Scottish highlands. Although blaming poor intelligence and attempting to pass it off as collateral damage he was made to join an investigative committee and will now endure a seven year ordeal before freedom rears it's welcome spoon o' promise.

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