23rd Nov
Turning back reaps rewards for cat-riddled sidekick
Triumphant Dick Whittington has taken another huge merry olde step towards becoming mayor of London, again. Taking advantage of Lord Archers decision to step down, Whittington has constructed a weapon using the head of his fallen adversary, a weapon he intends to use with great effect on the Labour party's chosen one... More...
Exciting finale breeds idiocy
Sep Blatter ha sonce again caused world wide membership of his relevant League's of Hatred to rocket. After making veiled promises to do something original, it now appears he is intent on world domination. "How exciting" said the rampant communist Tony Blair in a disinterested manner. "Bringing forward it is how the 1899 party procession happened, on boats was it? No matter" said Sep. Political reporter and veteran stage diver Burton C Bell could only laugh heartily and be restrained as he attempted to plunge knives into brave guardsmen near Dover.
New planet is egg
It was revealed today that the new planet supposedly found when it took a stroll across a large star away in the distance has been revealed to have been a piece of egg in the disgraced astronomers frying pan. Apparently Dr X (as he now calls himself) had been up all night and was very drowsy. In his twilight like state of existence he assumed he was charting the heavens when instead preparing a breakfast to be proud of. "The egg passed in front of the fried bread though I didn't realise it at the time" he said.
Blattster! We take it back, leave!
