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Big fat cocks

World leaders hurled themselves at the throats of twisted geneticists today after a batch of huge evil genetically modified, fire breathing hens went on a rampage through Europe... More...

Frigid unity strikes bargain
Mad-dealing henceman of London, Norris Jameson, today became Person #1 to sign an unholy alliance with a rogue refrigerator company known to have links with demons and the like. Jameson defended his actions, "I need a new fridge and if signing away my soul is the easiest way then so be it". Church leaders frowned upon the move. Dr George Carey, Archbishop of Canterbury said "When I bought a new fridge I found a variety of surprisingly good deals at my local Comet".

Yellow gregarity in hope-heist
Jugglers united through loss of limbs recieved a sharp blow to the neck today from martial arts supremo Chan Jones. The uncalled for act of violence took place at a benefit dinner arranged for the hapless performers. Jones was to be guest of honour but was replaced at the last minute by Winston from Ghostbusters. This is believed to be the reason for his angry revenge attack.

Polo minting train vagabond
Manufacturers of white shark meat, Polo, are to unveil a new mint tommorow based upon a previously undiscovered alloy. The new mint is not to be fed to giraffes or koalas though as this will cause them to die.

26/08/99:
Punditry backstabbing chaos

10/08/99:
Come back Dick Whittington, beat Archer into submission!

25/08/99:
Rampant Russian siege confusion

12/08/99:
Cardboard olympiad merriment

31/08/99:
Babbling hay-beast to rule France serenely