|
Welcome to the world, as one might say having recently filled the position of alien greeter. However, we are not here to greet aliens. Far from it. We are here to bring you the latest deathly-deadly and other serious, dangerous and dead-related conspiratory goings on in the world we like to call 'Home'. As you may have noticed, Norway is now Yeti HQ and the world is living in fear of further incursions and the possibility of being ruled with a furry fist. We have, however, uncovered a terrifying plot being worked by dastardly suited geezers who have grand plans for this whole debacalade (new word). A reassuringly and obviously top secret high-level group of MI6 chiefo's are pulling the strings on a plan to have Jeremy Beadle replace Saddam Hussein in Iraq. With a bearded grease merchant like Beadle in charge, MI6 could easily meddle in Far East affairs and use them to it's own cracking ends. 'Hark!' you may shout - you mad fouk. Hark indeed, but where do the Yeti's fit in? Well it's simple mathematics really: Yeti's invade Norway, NATO task force sent, task force defeated, Yeti's use big boat and invade USA, Yeti premier turns communist and revels in new found fame & fortune. After a week or so he invites Mr Saddam to his igloo headquarters on the moon. Only Grr returns and is welcomed by the Iraqi people as the festered fluff meister he is. Grr takes off Yeti suit to reveal only slightly less hairy Beadle who is elected to mass public adulation. It's a sequence of events we have seen many times in the past and probably again. Generali avoidance of mis-doings Ah, this is difficult. Unless you are Norwegian, American or Iraqi you are quite safe. Norway & US will have to endure rule of Yeti for a few hundred years and Iraq will have a much worse fate at the hands of Beadle. Still, things may not quite go according to plan - you can always pray...
Comments and roving rat reporters to electricrat@ukonline.co.uk. |