emmatherslp

When I just a little baby boy,
My momma used to tell me these crazy things
She used to tell me my daddy was an evil man,
She used to tell me he hated me
But the I got a little bit older
And I realized she was the crazy one
But there was nothin' I could do or say to try to change it
'Cause that's just the way she was

They said I can't rap about bein' broke no more
They ain't say I can't rap about coke no more
(AHHH!) Slut, you think I won't choke no whore
Til the vocal cords don't work in her throat no more?!
(AHHH) These motherfuckers are thinkin' I'm playin'
Thinkin' I'm sayin' the shit 'cause
I'm thinkin' it just to be sayin' it
(AHHH) put your hands down, bitch, I ain't gon' shoot you
I'ma pull YOU to this bullet, and put it through you
Just bend over and take it like a slut, okay, Ma?
"Oh, now he's raping his own mother, abusing a whore
Snorting coke, and we gave him the Rolling Stone cover?"
You goddam right, BITCH, and now it's too late
I'm triple platinum and tragedies happened in two states
I invented violence, you vile venomous volatile vicious
Vain Vicadin, vrinnn, VRINNN! [Chainsaw revs up]

Texas Chainsaw, left his brains all
Banglin' from his neck, while his head barely hangs on
BLOOD, GUTS, GUNS, CUTS
KNIVES, LIVES, WIVES, NUNS, SLUTS

Chorus
BITCH, I'MA KILL YOU! YOU DON'T WANNA FUCK WITH ME
GIRLS NEITHER - YOU AINT'T NUTTIN' BUT A SLUT TO ME
BITCH, I'MA KILL YOU! YOU AIN'T GOT THE BALLS TO BEEF
WE AIN'T GOIN' NEVER STOP BEEFIN' I DON'T' SQUASH THE BEEF
YOU BETTER KILL ME! I'MA BE ANOTHER RAPPER DEAD
FOR POPPIN' OFF AT THE MOUTH WITH SHIT I SHOULDN'T SAID
BUT WHEN THEY KILL ME - I'M BRINGIN' THE WORLD WITH ME
BITCHES TOO! YOU AIN'T NUTTIN' BUT A GIRL TO ME
…. I SAID YOU DON'T WANNA FUCK WITH SHADY ('CAUSE WHY?)
'CAUSE SHADY WILL FUCKIN' KILL YOU (AH- HAHA)
I SAID YOU DON'T WANNA FUCK WITH SHADY (WHY?)
CAUSE SHADY WILL FUCKIN' KILL YOU….

Bitch, I'ma kill you! Like a murder weapon, I'ma conceal you
In a closet with mildew, sheets, pillows and film you
Fuck with me, I been through hell, shut the hell up!
I'm tryin' to develop these pictures of the Devil to sell 'em
I ain't "acid rap," but I rap on acid
Got a new blowup doll and just had a strap-on added
WHOOPs! Is that a subliminal hint? NO!
Just criminal intent to sodomize women again
EMINEM OFFEND? NO!
EMINEM WILL INSULT
And if you ever give in to him, you give him an impulse
To do it again, THEN, if he does it again
You'll probably end up jumpin' out of somthin' up on the tenth
(Ahhhhhhhh) Bitch, I'ma kill you, I ain't done, this ain't the chorus
I ain't even drug you in the woods yet to paint the forest
A bloodstain is orange after you wash it three or four times
In a tub but that's normal, ain't it, Norman?
Serial killer hidin' murder material
In a cereal box on top of your stero
HERE WE GO AGAIN, WE'RE OUT OF OUR MEDICINE
OUT OF OUR MINDS, AND WE WANT IN YOURS, LET US IN

Eh-heh, know why I say these things?
Cause ladies' screams keep creepin' in Shady's dreams
And the way things seem, I shouldn't have a pay these shrinks
This eighty G's a week to say the same things TWEECE!
TWICE? Whatever, I hate these things
Fuck shots! I hope the weed'll outweigh these drinks
Motherfuckers want me to come on their radio shows
Just to argue with 'em 'cause their ratings stink?
FUCK THAT! I'll choke radio announcer to bouncer
From fat bitch to all seventy thousand pounds to her
From principal to the student body and conselor
From in school to before school to out of school
I don't even believe in breathin' I'm leavin' air in your lungs
OKAY, I'M READY TO GO PLAY
I GOT THE MACHETE FROM O.J.
I'M READY TO MAKE EVERYONE'S THROATS ACHE
You faggots keep eggin' me on
Till I have you at knifepoint, then you beg me to stop?
said SHUT SHUT UP! Give me your hands and feet
I UP when I'm talkin' to you
YOU HEAR ME? ANSWER ME!

Chorus (First Line Starts "Or I'ma Kill You!" Ninth Line Starts "Bitch, I'ma Kill You!"

CHORUS
My tea's gone cold,I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be grey, but your picture on my wall
It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad

Dear Slim, I wrote you but you still ain't callin' I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom
I sent two letters back in autumn you must not have got 'em
It probably was a problem at the post office or somethin'
Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot 'em
But anyways, fuck it, what's been up man, how's your daughter?
My girlfriend's pregnant too, I'm out to be a father
If I have a daughter, guess what I'm-a call her? I'm-a name her Bonnie.
I read about your uncle Ronnie too, I'm sorry I had a friend kill himself over some bitch who didn't want him.
I know you probably hear this everyday, but I'm your biggest fan.
I even got the underground shit that you did with ScamZ.
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures, man.
I like the shit you did with Ruckus too, that shit was fat.
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back, just to chat Truly yours, your biggest fan, this is Stan.

CHORUS:

Dear Slim, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have the chance.
I ain't mad, I just think it's fucked up you don't answer fans.
If you didn't want to talk to me outside your concert
You didn't have to but you could have signed an autograph for Matthew.
That's my little brother, man. He's only 6 years old. We waited in the blistering cold for you for 4 hours and ya just said no.
That's pretty shitty man, you're like his fuckin' idol He wants to be just like you man, he likes you more than I do.
I ain't that mad, but I just don't like bein' lied to.
Remember when we met in Denver, you said if I write you You would write back.
See, I'm just like you in a way. I never knew my father neither.
He used to always cheat on my mom and beat her.
I can relate to what you're sayin' in your songs. So when I have a shitty day, I drift away and put 'em on. Cause I don't really got shit else, so that shit helps when I'm depressed.
I even got a tattoo with your name across the chest.
Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds. It's like adrenaline. The Pain is such a sudden rush for me.
See, everything you say is real, and I respect you 'cause you tell it.
My girlfriend's jealous 'cause I talk about you 24/7.
But she don't know you like I know you, Slim, no one does.
She don't know what it was like for people like us growing up.
You've gotta call me man. I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose.
Sincerely yours, Stan.
PS: We should be together too.

Dear Mr. "I'm too good to call or write my fans" This'll be the last package I ever send your ass. It's been six months and still no word. I don't deserve it?
I know you got my last two letters, I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect. So this is my cassette I'm sending you. I hope you hear it.
I'm in the car right now. I'm doing 90 on the freeway.
Hey Slim, "I drank a fifth of vodka, ya dare me to drive?"
You know that song by Phil Collins from "The Air In The Night"?
About that guy who could have saved that other guy from drowning? But didn't?
Then Phil saw it all then at his show he found him? That's kinda how this is.
You could have rescued me from drowning. Now it's too late.
I'm on a thousand downers now, I'm drowsy.
And all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call. I hope you know I ripped all o' your pictures off the wall.
I love you Slim, we could have been together. Think about it.
You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it. (Yelling) And when you dream, I hope you can't sleep and you scream about it. I hope your conscious eats at you and you can't breathe without me.
See Slim, shut up bitch, I'm trying to talk.
Hey Slim, that's my girlfriend screaming in the trunk.
But I didn't slit her throat, I just tied her up, see I ain't like you. 'Cause if she suffocates, she'll suffer more, and then she'll die too.
Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the bridge now. Oh shit, I forgot, how am I supposed to send this shit out?
Sounds effects of car tires screeching, car crashing and then hitting the water.

Dear Stan, I meant to write you sooner, but I've just been busy.
You said your girlfriend's pregnant now, how far along is she?
Look, I'm really flattered you would call your daughter that.
And here's an autograph for your brother: I wrote it on your Starter cap.
I'm sorry I didn't see you at the show, I must have missed you.
Don't think I did that shit intentionally, just to diss you.
And what's this shit you said about you like to cut your wrists too?
I say that shit just clownin' dawg, c'mon, how fucked up is you?
You got some issues, Stan, I think you need some counselling
To help your ass from bouncin' off the walls when you get down some.
And what's this shit about us meant to be together?
That type of shit'll make me not want us to meet each other.
I really think you and your girlfriend need each other.
Or maybe you just need to treat her better.
I hope you get to read this letter.
I just hope it reaches you in time. Before you hurt yourself,
I think that you'd be doin' just fine if you'd relax a little.
I'm glad that I inspire you, but Stan Why are you so mad?
Try to understand that I do want you as a fan.
I just don't want you to do some crazy shit.
I seen this one shit on the news a couple weeks ago that made me sick.
Some dude was drunk and drove his car over a bridge and had his girlfriend in the trunk and she was pregnant with his kid
And in the car they found a tape but it didn't say who it was to,
Come to think about it...his name was...it was you. DAMN!

I never knew I...
I never knew I...Mic check, one, two
I never knew I...Who would've knew
I never knew I...Who would've known
I never knew I...Fuck with authority
I never knew I...Motherfucker comes out
I never knew I...Sells a couple-a million records
I never knew I...And these motherfuckers hit the ceiling

I don't do black music, I don't do white music (nope)
I make fight music, for high-school kids
Put lives at risk when I drive like this
I put wives at risk with a knife like this
Shit, you probably think I'm in your tape deck now
I'm in the back seat of your truck with duct tape stretched out
Ducked the fuck way down, waiting to straight jump out
Put it over your mouth, and grab you by the face, what now?
Oh. You want me to watch my mouth? How?
Take my fucking eyeballs out and turn them around? (look)
I'll burn your fuckin' house down, circle around
And hit the hydrant so you can't put your burning furniture out (oh my god, oh my god)
I'm sorry there must be a mixup
You want me to fixup lyrics while our president gets his dick sucked? (sound of Ken Kaniff leering )
Fuck that. Take drugs. Rape sluts.
Make fun of gay clubs. Men who wear makeup.
*Get it aware. Wake up. Get a sense of humor.
Quit tryin' to censor music. This is for your kids amusement. (the kids!)
But don't blame me when little Eric jumps off of the terrace.
You should've been watching him. Apparently you ain't parents.
I never knew I...knew I would get this big
I never knew I...knew I'd affect this kid
I never knew I'd...get him to slit his wrists
I never knew I'd...get him to hit this bitch
I never knew I...knew I would get this big
I never knew I...knew I'd affect this kid
I never knew I'd...get him to slit his wrists
I never knew I'd...get him to hit this bitch

So who's bringing the guns in this country?
I couldn't sneak a plastic pellet-gun thru customs over in London
And last week I seen a Schwarzenegger movie
Where he's shooting all sorts of motherfuckers with an uzi
I seen these three little kids up in the front row
Screaming "Go!" with their 17-year old uncle
I'm like "Guidance?
Ain't they got the same moms and dads who got mad when I asked if they like violence?
And told me that my tape got 'em to swear
What about the makeup you allowed your twelve-year-old daughter to wear? (hm?)
So tell me that your son doesn't know any cuss words
*When this bus driver's screaming at him, fucking him up worse" (fuck ? you little fucking prick)
And fuck was the first word I ever learned
Up in the third grade flipping the gym teacher the bird (look)
So read up, 'bout how I used to get beat up
Peed on, be on free lunch, and change schools every three months
My life's like, kinda what my wife's like (what?)
Fucked up after I beat her fucking ass every night (Ike)
So how much easier would life be
If nineteen-million motherfuckers grew to be just like me

'Cause I never knew I...knew I would get this big
I never knew I...knew I'd affect this kid
I never knew I'd...get him to slit his wrists
I never knew I'd...get him to hit this bitch
I never knew I...knew I would get this big
I never knew I...knew I'd affect this kid
I never knew I'd...get him to slit his wrists
I never knew I'd...get him to hit this bitch

I never knew I, knew I'd, have a new house or a new car
Couple years ago I was more poorer than you are
I don't got that bad of a mouth do I?
Fuck shit ass bitch, cunt, shoobie-do-doo-wa (woops!)
Skeebie-ba-be-wop, a-Christopher Reeves
Sonny Bono, skeezes, whores, & hittin' some trees (hey!)
How many retards will listen to me
And run in the school shootin' when they're pissed at the teach-
-er, her, or him, is it you? Is it him?
Wasn't me. Slim Shady said to do it again.
Damn! How much damage can you do with a pen?
Man, I'm just as fucked up as you would've been
If you would've been in my shoes, who would've thought
Slim Shady would've been something that you would've bought
That would've made you get a gun and shoot at a cop
I just said it, I didn't know if you did it or not

Whatever...
Dre, just let it run...
Hey yo, turn the beat up a little bit...
Hey yo, this song is for anyone ... fuck it ... just shut up and listen.
Hey yo...
I sit back, with this pack of Zig-Zags and this bag of this weed,
it gives me the shit needed to be the most meanest mc on this...
on this earth... and since birth I've been cursed with this curse
to just curse and just blurt this bezerk and bizarre shit that works,
and it sells and it helps in itself to relieve all this tension.
Dispensing these sentences, getting the stress
that's been eatin' me recently off of this chest.
And I rest again peacefully...
But at least have the decency in you
to leave me alone when you freaks see me out
in the streets when I'm eatin' or feedin' my daughter
to not come and speak to me.
I don't know you and no, I don't owe you
a motherfucking thing. I'm not Mister NSYNC.
I'm not what your friends think.
I'm not Mister Friendly. I can be a prick.
If you tip me my tank is on empty.
No patience is in me and if you offend me,
I'm liftin' you ten feet... in the air.
I don't care who was there and who saw me destroy you.
Well, call you a lawyer. File you a lawsuit.
I'll smile in the courtroom and buy you a wardrobe.
I'm tired of all you. I don't mean to be mean
but that's all I can be. It's just me.

Chorus
And I am, whatever you say I am.
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the paper, the news, everyday I am.
Radio won't even play my jam.
'Cause I am, whatever you say I am.
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the paper, the news, everyday I am.
I don't know it's just the way I am.

Sometimes I just feel like my father. I hate to be bothered...
with all of this nonsense. It's constant and "Oh, it's his lyrical content."
The song "Guilty Conscience" has gotten such rotten responses.
And all of this controversy circles me
and it seems like the media immediately
points a finger at me...
So I point one back at 'em but not the index or pinky
or the ring or the thumb. It's the one you put up
when you don't give a fuck when you won't just put up
with the bullshit they pull 'cause they full of shit too.
When a dude's gettin bullied and shoots up your school
and they blame it on Marilyn(echo) ... and the heroin
where were the parents at? And look at where it's at...
Middle America
now it's a tragedy
now it's so sad to see
an upper-class city
having this happenin'.
Then attack Eminem
'cause I rap this way.
But I'm glad 'cause they feed me the fuel
that I need for the fire to burn,
and it's burnin' and I have returned.

I'm so sick and tired of bein' admired
that I wish that I would just die or get fired
and dropped from my label. Let's stop with the fables.
I'm not goin' to be able to top what my name is.
And pigeon-holed in to some poppy sensation
that got me rotation at rock-n-roll stations.
And I just do not got the patience (echo)...
to deal with these cocky caucasians
who think I'm some wigga' who just tries to be black
'cause I talk with an accent and grab on my balls.
So they always keep askin' the same fuckin' questions (echo)...
What school did I go to? What hood I grew up in?
The why, the who what, when the where and the how
'til I'm grabbin' my hair and I'm tearin' it out.
You've been drivin' me crazy. I can't take it.
I'm racin' I'm pacin'. I stand then I sit.
And I'm thankful for every fan that I get
but I can't take a shit in the bathroom
without someone standing by it...
You knew I won't sign your autograph
you can call me an asshole. I'm glad.

May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
I repeat will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
We're going to have a problem here

Ya'll act like you never seen a white person before
Jaws all on the floor like Pam like Tommy just burst in the door
And started whoopin her ass worse than before
They first get divorced throwing her over furniture (Ahh!))
It's the return of the… "Ah, wait, no wait, you'rs kidding,
He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
And Dr Dre said....Nothing you idiots
Dr Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement (Haha)
Feminist women love Eminem

[vocal turntable: Chigga chigga chigga
"Slim Shady I'm sick of him
Look at him, walking around grabbing his you know what
Flippin' to you-know-who "yeah, but he's so cute though!"
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse than what's going on in your parent's bedrooms
Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't
But its cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips
And if I'm lucky you might just give it a little kiss
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is.
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
By the time they hit 4th grade,
They got the discovery channel don't they?
We ain't nothing but mammals; well some of us cannibals
Who cut other people open like cantaloupes [SLURP]
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
Then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope [EWWW!]
But if you feel like I feel I got the antidote.
Women wave your panty hoes, sing the chorus and it goes...

I'M SLIM SHADY, YES I'M THE REAL SHADY
ALL YOU OTHER SLIM SHADYS ARE JUST IMITAING
SO WON'T THE REAL SLIM SHADY PLEASE STAND UP
PLEASE STAND UP, PLEASE STAND UP?

Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records
Well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too.
You think I give a damm about a Grammy?
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me.
"But Slim what if you win wouldn't it be weird?"
Why? So you guys can just lie to get me here?
So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears.
Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
And hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first.
Little bitch put me on blast on MTV
"Yeah he's cute but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee!"
I SHOULD DOWNLOAD HER AUDIO ON MP3
AND SHOW THE WHOLE WORLD HOW YOU GAVE EMINEM VD
(AHHH!)
I'M SICK OF YOU LITTLE GIRL AND BOY GROUPS, ALL YOU DO IS ANNOY ME
So I've been sent here to destroy you [bzzzt]
And there's a million of us just like me
Who cuss like me, who just don't give a fuck like me
Who dress like me, walk, talk and act like me
And just might be the next best thing but not quite me!

I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause I'm only giving you
Things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
The only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of ya'll
And I don't gotta be false or sugar coated at all
I just get on the mic and spit it
And whether you like to admit it (ERR)
I just shit it better than 90% of you rappers out can
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like Valiums.
Its funny 'cause at the rate I'm goin' when I'm thirty
I'll be the only person in the nursing home flirting.
Pinching nurses asses when I'm jackin' off with Jergens
And I'm jerking but this whole bag of Viagra isn't workin'
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin'
He could be workin' at Burger King
Spittin' on your onion rings [HACH]
Or in the parking lot circling
Screaming "I don't give a fuck!"
With his windows down and system up
So will the real Shady please stand up?
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
And to be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

To Fade
Ha-ha
Guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us
Fuck it, let's all stand up

REMEMBER ME
Featuring: RBX and Sticky Fingaz
Written by M. Mathers, A. Young, M. Bradford

Remember me? ("Several executions")
Remember me? ("I have no remorse")
Remember me? ("I'm high-powered")
Remember me? ("I drop bombs like Hiroshima")
For this, why it's the X, you retarded?
'Cause I grab the mic and get down, like syndrome
Hide in Rome and to the masses, without boundaries
Which qualifies me for the term "universal"
Without no rehearsal, colleaged words is controversial
Like I'm not, the one you wanna contest, see
'Cause I'll hit your ass like the train did that bitch that got "Banned From TV"
Heavyweight get up, hit you, watch you're whole head split up
Loco is the motion, weed comin' through
Hollow tips in the lead, the .45 through

Sticky Fingaz
Remember me? ("Throw ya gunz in the air!")
Remember me? ("Slam! Slam!")
Remember me? ("Nigga bacdafucup!")
Remember me? ("Chka-chka-Onyx!")
Niggas catchin' "no" for an answer, ghetto no
Yeah, that bitch hoe no'd but it was more like "no, no, no!!"
Life's a bitch; yeah it'll fuck you if you let her
Better come better than better to be a competitor
This ved is a head, the shit is all redder, you deader and deader
I better extended the cheddars and credda
Instead of vendetta, a mellow beretta from ghetto to ghetto
Evidence? Nope! Never leave a shredda
I got the soul of every rapper in me, love me or hate me
My moms got raped by the industry and made me
I'm the illest nigga ever, I told you
I get more pussy than them dyke bitches total
Want beef, nigga? PSH better dead that shit
My name should be "Can't-Believe-That-Nigga-Said-That-Shit"
Probably say "he ain't a killa", but I'm killin' myself
Smoke def, fuck bitches raw, on the kitchen floor
So think what I'ma do to you, have done to you
Got niggas in my hood who'd do that shit for a bullet too
What you wanna do, cocksuckers? We're glock busters
'Til the cops cuff us, we'll start ruckus and drop blockbusters
'Round the clock hustlers, you cannot touch us
I'm gettin' wires niggas wantin' me dead
One in my head, you think it could be somethin' I said?

Eminem
Remember me? ("I just don't give a fuck!")
Remember me? ("Yeah, fuck you too!")
Remember me? ("I'm low down and I'm shifty!")
Remember me? ("I'm shady!")
When I go out, I'ma go out shootin'
I don't mean when I die, I mean when I go out to the club, stupid
I'm tryin' to clear up my fuckin' image, so I promised the fuckin' critics
I wouldn't say "fuckin'" for six minutes
[click] Six minutes, Slim Shady, you're on)
My baby's mom, bitch made me an angry blonde
So I made me a song, killed her and put Haley on
I may be wrong, I keep thinkin' these crazy thoughts
In my cranium, but I'm stuck with a crazy mom
(Is she really on as much dope as you say she's on?)
Came home, and somebody must've broke in the back window
And stole two golden machine guns and both of my trenchcoats
Sick sick dreams of picnic scenes, two kids, sixteen
And M-16's with ten clips each
And them shits reach through 6 kids each
And Slim gets blamed in Bill Clint's speech to fix these streets?
FUCK THAT! PSH you faggots can vanish to volcanic ash
And re-appear in hell with a can of gas, AND a match
Aftermath, Dre, grab the gat, show 'em where it's at
(What the fuck you starin' at, nigga?)
Don't you remember me?
Remember me?
Remember me?!
Remember me?!

CHORUS (REPEAT 4X)
THAT'S WHY THEY CALL ME SLIM SHADY (I'M BACK)
I'M BACK (I'M BACK) [SLIM SHADY!] Kids sing, I'M BACK

I murder a rhyme one word at a time
You never heard of a mind as perverted as mine
You better get rid of that nine, it ain't gonna help
What good's it gonna do against a man that strangles himself?

I'm waitin' for hell, like hell, shit, I'm anxious as hell
Manson, you're safe in that cell, thankful is jail
I used to be my mommy's little angel at twelve
At thirteen I was putting shells in the gauge on the shelf
I used to get punked and bullied on my block
Till I cut a kitten's head off and stuck it in this kid's mailbox (HEY! MOM! MOM!)
I used to give a -fuck, now I could give a fuck less
What do I think of sucess? It sucks! too much press and stress,
Too much cess, and depressed, too upset
It's just too much mess, I guess
I must just blew up quick (yes)
Grew up quick? (no) was raised right
Whatever you say's wrong, whatever I say's right
You think of my name now whenever you say "Hi"
Became a commodity because I'm W - H - I - T - E,
'cause MTV was so friendly to me
Can't wait 'till Kim sees me
Now is it worth it? Look at my life. how is it perfect?
Read my lips bitch, what, my mouth isn't workin'?
You hear this finger? Oh, it's upside down.
Here, let me turn this motherfucker up right now!

Chorus

I take each individual degenerate's head and reach into it
Just to see if he's influenced by me if he listens to music
And if he feeds into this shit he's an innocent victim
And becomes a puppet on the string of my tennis shoe [vocal scratches]
My name is Slim Shady
I been crazy way before radio didn't play me
The sensational [vocal scratch "Back, it's the incredible!"]
With Ken Kaniff, who just finds the men edible
It's, Ken Kaniff, on the internet
Tryin' to Lure your kids, with him, into bed
It's a sick world we live in these days
"Slim, for Pete's sake, put down Christopher Reeve's legs!"
Geez, You guys are so sensitive
"Slim it's a touchy subject, try and just don't mention it..."
Mind with no sense in it, fried schizophrenic
Whose eyes get so squinted, I'm blind from smokin 'em
With my windows tinted, with nine limos rented,
Doin' lines of coke in 'em, with a bunch of guys hoppin' out
All high and indo scented [inhales, exhales]
And that's where I get my name from, that's why they call me

I take seven kids from Columbine and stand 'em all in line
Add an AK-47, a revolver, a nine
A Mac-11 and this oughta solve this problem of mine
And that's a whole school of bullies shot up all of the time
'Cause I'mmmm) Shady, they call me as crazy
As this world was over this whole Y2K thing
And by the way, N'Sync, why do they sing?
Am I the only one who realizes they stink?
Should I dye my hair pink and care what y'all think?
Lip-synch and buy a bigger size of ear rings?
That's why I tend to block out when I hear things
'Cause all these fans screamin' is making my ears ring (AHHHH!!!)
So I just throw up the middle finger and let it linger
Longer than the rumor that I was stickin' it to Christina
'Cause if I ever stuck it to any singer in showbiz
It'd be Jennifer Lopez and Puffy you know this!
I'm Sorry Puff, but I don't give a fuck if this chick was my own mother
I'd still fuck her with no rubber, and cum inside her
And have a son and a new brother at the same time
And just say that it ain't mine, what's my name?

[vocal scratching]
Guess who's b-back, back
Gue-gue-guess who's back (Hi Mom!)
[scratch] Guess who's back
[scratch] Gue [scratch] guess who's back
D-12 [scratch] Guess who's back
Gue, gue-gue-gue, guess who's back
Dr, Dre [scratch] Guess who's back
Back back [scratch] back
[scratch]
Slim Shady, 2001
I'm blew out from this blunt [sighs] fuck

[Eminem's voice]
You know I just don't get it
Last year I was nobody
This year I'm sellin records
Now everyone wants to come around like I owe em somethin'...
The fuck you want from me, ten million dollars?
Get the fuck outta here!

Chorus One:
YOU SEE, I'M JUST MARSHALL MATHERS (MARSHALL MATHERS)
I'M JUST A REGULAR GUY
I DON'T KNOW WHY ALL THE FUSS ABOUT ME (FUSS ABOUT ME_
NOBODY EVER GIVE A FUCK BEFORE
ALL THEY DID WAS DOUBT ME (DID WAS DOUBT ME)
NOW EVERYBODY WANNA RUN THEY MOUTH
AND TRY TO TAKE SHOTS AT ME (TAKE SHOTS AT ME)

Yo, you might see me joggin', you might see me walkin'
You might see me walkin' a dead rottweiler dog
With his head chopped off in the park with a spiked collar
Hollerin' at him 'cause the son of a bitch won't quit barkin' (grrr, ARF ARF
Or leanin' out a window with a cocked shotgun
Drivin' up the block in the car that they shot 'Pac in
Lookin' for Big's killers, dressin' ridiculous
Blue and red like I don't see what the big deal is
Double-barrel twelve-gauge bigger than Chris Wallace
Pissed off, 'cause Biggie and 'Pac just missed all this
Watchin all these cheap imitations get rich off 'em
And get dollars that shoulda been theirs like they switched wallets
And amidst all this Crist' poppin' and wristwatches
I just sit back and just watch and just get nauseous
And walk around with an empty bottle of Remy Martin

Startin shit like some 26 year old skinny
Cartman (Goddamnit!")
I'm anti-Backstreet and Ricky Martin
With instincts to kill N'Sync don't get me started
These fuckin' brats can't sing and Britney's garbage
What is this bitch retarded? Gimme back my
sixteen dollars
All I see is sissies in magazines smiling
Whatever happened to whylin' out and bein' violent?
Whatever happened to catchin' a good ol'-fashioned
Passionate ass-whoopin and getting' your shoes
coat, and your hat tooken
New kids on the block suck a lot of dick
Boy/girl groups make me sick
And I can't wait till I catch all you faggots in public
I'ma love it… (Hahaha)
Vanilla Ice don't like me (Uh-uh)
He said some shit in Vibe to spite me (yup)
Then went and dyed his hair just like me (Hehe)
A bunch of little kids wanna swear just like me
Run around screamin "I don't care, just bite me" (Nah Nah)
I think I was put here to annoy the world
And destroy your little 4-year-old boy or girl
Plus I was put here to put fear in faggots who
spray Faygo Root beer
And call themselves "Clowns" 'cause they look queer
Faggy 2 dope and Silent gay
Claimin' Detriot, when y'all live twenty miles away
And I don't wrestle, I'll knock you fuckin faggots the fuck out
Ask them about the club they was at when they snuck out
After they ducked out the back when they saw us and bugged out
(AHHH)Ducked down and got paintball shot at they truck, blaow!
Look at y'all runnin your mouth again
When you aint seen a fuckin' Mile Road South of 10
And I don't need help from D-12, to beat up two
females
In make up, who may try to scratch me with Lee Nails
"Slim Anus," you damn right, Slim Anus
I don't get fucked in mine like you two little flaming faggots

'CAUSE I'M JUST MARSHALL MATHERS (MARSHALL MATHERS)
I'M NOT A WRESTLER GUY,
I'LL KNOCK YOU OUT IF YOU TALK ABOUT ME (YOU TALK ABOUT ME)
COME AND SEE ME ON THE STREETS ALONE
IF YOU ASSHOLES DOUBT ME (ASSHOLES DOUBT ME)
AND IF YOU WANNA RUN YOUR MOUTH
THEN COME TAKE YOUR BEST SHOT AT ME (YOUR BEST SHOT AT ME)

Is it because you love me that y'all expect so much of me?
You little groupie bitch get off me, go fuck Puffy
Now because of this blonde mop that's on top of
this fucked up head that I've got, I've gone pop
The underground just spun around and did a 360
Now these kids diss me and act like some big sissies
"Oh, he just did some shit with Missy
So now he thinks he's too big to do some shit with
MC Get-Bizzy"
My fuckin' bitch mom is suing for ten million
She must want a dollar for every pill I've been stealin'
Shit, where the fuck you think I picked up the habit?
All I had to do was go in her room and lift up a mattress
Which is it bitch Mrs. Briggs or Ms. Mathers?
It doesn't matter you faggot!
Talkin' about how I fabricated my past
He's just aggravated I won't ejaculate in his ass (Uhh)
So tell me, what the hell is a fella to do?
For every million I make, another relative sues
Family fightin' and fussin' over for who wants to invite me to supper
All of a sudden I got ninety-some cousins (Hey It's Me)
A half brother and sister who never seen me
Or even bothered to call me until they saw me on TV
Now everybody's so happy and proud
I'm finally allowed to set foot in my girlfriends house
Hey-hey! And then to top it off, I walk to the newstand
To buy this cheap-ass magazine with a food stamp
Skip to the last page flip right fast
And what do I see? A picture of my big white ass
Okay, let me give you motherfuckers some help:
Uhh here --DOUBLE XL, DOUBLE XL
Now your magazine shouldn't have so much trouble to sell
AHH fuck it, I'll even buy a couple myself

[GIRL] YEAAH, HAHAHAHA..WHOOOOO,SHIT!
[EMINEM] (AIGHT)
[EMINEM] GUESS WHAT? I AIN'T COMING IN YET….
I'LL COME IN A MINUTE
[EMINEM] AYO…THIS IS MY LOVE SONG…IT GOES LIKE THIS

Back when Mark Walhberg was Marky Mark
This is how we used to make the party start
We used to mix Hen' with Barcardi Dark
And when it kicks in, you can hardly talk
And by the sixth gin you're gonna probably crawl
And you'll be sick then and you'll probably fall
Either somewhere in the lobby or the hallway wall
AND EVERYTHING'S SPINNING
YOU'RE BEGINNIN' TO THINK WOMEN
ARE SWIMMING IN PINK LINEN AGAIN IN THE SINK

Then in a couple of minutes that bottle is Guinness is finished
You are now allowed to officially slap bitches
You have the right to remain violent and start wilin'
Start a fight with the same guy that was smart-eyein' you
Get in your car, start it, and start drivin'
Over the island and cause a forty-two-car pileup
Earth Calling, pilot to copilot
LOOKING FOR LIFE ON THIS PLANET, SIR, NO SIGN OF IT
ALL I CAN SEE IS A BUNCH OF SMOKE FLYIN'
And I'm so high I might die if I go by it
Let me out of this place I'm outta place
I'm in outer space I've just vanished without a trace
I'm going to a pretty place now where the flowers grow
I'll be back in an hour or so

Chorus
'CAUSE EVERYTIME I GO TO TRY TO LEAVE
SOME GEEK KEEPS PULLIN' ON MY SLEEVE
I DON'T WANNA, BUT I GOTTA STAY
THESE DRUGS REALLY GOT A HOLD OF ME
'CAUSE EVERY TIME I TRY TO TELL THEM "NO"
THEY WON'T LET ME EVER LET THEM GO
I'M A SUCKA, ALL I GOTTA SAY
THESE DRUGS REALLY
GOT A HOLD OF ME

In third grade, all I used to do
Was sniff glue through a tube and play Rubik's cube
Seventeen years later I'm as rude as Jude
Scheming on the first chick with the hugest boobs
I've got no game
AND EVERY FACE LOOKS THE SAME
THEY'VE GOT NO NAME
So I don't say whatever I want, to whoever I want
However, I do show some respect to few
This Ecstacy's got me standing next to you
Getting sentimental as fuck spillin' guts to you
We just met
But I think I'm in love with you
But you're no it too

So you tell me you love me too
Wake up in the morning like "Yo, what the fuck we do?"
I gotta go, bitch
You know I've got stuff to do
'Cause if I get caught cheatin', then I'm stuck with you
But in the long run
These drugs are probably going to catch up sooner or later
But fuck it, I'm on one
So let's enjoy
Let the X destroy your spinal cord
So it's not a straight line no more
Till we walk around looking like some windup dolls
Shit sticking out of our backs like a dinosaur
SHIT, SIX HITS WON'T EVEN GET ME HIGH NO MORE
SO BY FOR NOW, I'M GOIJNG TO TRY TO FIND SOME MORE

That's the sound of a bottle when it's hollow
When you swallow it all, wallow and drown in your sorrow
And tomorrow you're probably going to want to do it again
What's a little spinal fluid between you and a friend?
Screw it
And what's a little bit of alcohol poisoning?
And what's a little fight?
Tomorrow you'll be boys again
It's your life
Live it however you wanna
Marijuana is everywhere
Where was you brought up?
It don't matter long as you get where you're going
'Cause non of the shit is going to mean shit where we're going
They tell you to stop, but you just sit there ignoring
Even though you wake up feeling like shit every morning
BUT YOU'RE YOUNG
YOU'VE GOT A LOT OF DRUGS TO DO
GIRLS TO SCREW
PARTIES TO CRASH
SUCKS TO BE YOU
If I could take it all back now, I wouldn't
I would have did more shit that people said that I shouldn't
But I'm all grown up now and upgraded and graduated
To better drugs and updated
BUT I'VE STILL GOT A LOT OF GROWING UP TO DO
I'VE STILL GOT A WHOLE LOT OF THROWING UP TO SPEW
But when it's all said and done I'll be forty
Before I know it with a forty on the porch telling stories
With a bottle of Jack
Two grandkids in my lap
Baby-sitting for Hailie while Hailie is out getting smash

AMITYVILLE
Featuring Bizarre D-12
Written by M. Mathers, R. Johnson, Bass Brothers

(kill kill kill)
Dahh-dum, dahh-dum.. dum
Dahh-dum, dahh-dum, duh-da-da-da-da
(kill kill kill)
Dahh-dum, dahh-dum.. dum
Dahh-dum, dahh-dum, dumm..
(kill kill kill)

Chorus: Eminem

Mentally illll from Amityvilllle (ILLLL)
Accidentally killll your family stillll
Thinkin he won't? God-damnit he willll (HE'SSSS)
Mentally illll from Amityvilllle
** {HE'SSSS} - on repeats only **

[Eminem]
I get lifted and spin til I'm half-twisted
Feet planted and stand with a grin full of chapped lipstick {*SMACK*}
Pen full of ink, think sinful and rap sick shit
Shrink pencil me in for my last visit
Drink gin til my chin's full of splashed whiskers {*whoosh*}
Hash whiskey and ash til I slap bitches {*smack*}
Ask Bizzy, he's been here the past six years
Mash with me you'll get in imagine this

Chorus 2X

[Bizarre]
I fucked my cousin in his asshole, slit my mother's throat
{*AHHHHHHHH!*} Guess who Slim Shady just signed to Interscope?
My little sister's birthday, she'll remember me
For a gift I had ten of my boys take her virginity
{*Mmm mm mmm!*} And bitches know me as a horny ass freak
Their mother wasn't raped, I ate her pussy while she was 'sleep
Pissy-drunk, throwin up in the urinal (YOU FUCKIN HOMO!)
That's what I said at my dad's funeral

Chorus 2X

[Eminem]
That's why the city is filled with a bunch of fuckin idiots still (still)
That's why the first motherfucker poppin some shit he gets killed (killed)
That's why we don't call it Detroit, we call it Amityville ('Ville)
You can get capped after just havin a cavity filled (filled)
Ahahahaha, that's why we're crowned the murder capital still (still)
This ain't Detroit, this is motherfuckin Hamburger Hill! (Hill!)
We don't do drivebys, we park in front of houses and shoot
and when the police come we fuckin shoot it out with them too!
That's the mentality here (here) that's the reality here (here)
Did I just hear somebody say they wanna challenge me here?? (huh?)
While I'm holdin a pistol with this many calibres here?? (here??)
Got some registration and just made this shit valid this year? (year?)
Cause once I snap I can't be held accountable for my acts
and that's when accidents happen,
when a thousand bullets come at your house
and collapse the foundation around and they found you
and your family in it (AHHHHH!)
GOT DAMNIT HE MEANT IT WHEN HE TELLS YOU

Chorus 2X

Dum, tahh-dum.. ta-dah-da
Dum, tahh-dum.. ta-dah-da
Dum, tahh-dum.. ta-dah-da
Dum, tahh-dum.. ta-dah-da
Dum, tahh-dum.. ta-dah-da
Dum, tahh-dum.. ta-dah-da
Dum, tahh-dum.. ta-dah-da
Dum, tahh-dum.. ta-dah-da
Dum..

Back to Top

BITCH PLEASE PART 2
Featuring Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg, Xzibit and Nate Dogg
Written by M. Mathers, C. Broadus, A Joyner, A. young, M. Bradford, M. Elizondo

Aww look at daddy's baby girl
That's daddy baby
Little sleepyhead
Yesterday I changed your diaper
Wiped you and powdered you
How did you get so big?
Can't believe it now you're two
Baby, you're so precious
Daddy's so proud of you
Sit down bitch
You move again
I'll beat the shit out of you
(Okay)
Don't make me wake this baby
SHE DON'T NEED TO SEE WHAT
I'M ABOUT TO DO
Quit crying bitch, why do you always make me shout at you
How could you?...just leave me and love him out the blue
Aw, what's a matter Kim?
Am I too loud for you?
Too bad, bitch, you're finally hear me out
This time
At first, I'm like all right
You wanna throw me out? That's fine!
But not for him to take my place, are you out your mind?
This couch, this TV, this whole house is mine!
How could you let him sleep in our bed?
Look at me, Kim
Look at your husband now!
(No!)
I said look at him!
He ain't so hot now is he?
Little punk!
(Why are you doing this?)
Shut the fuck up

(YOU'RE DRUNK! YOU'RE NEVER GONNA GET AWAY AT THIS !)
You think I give a fuck! Come on we're going for a ride bitch
(No!)
Sit up front
(We can't just leave Hailie alone, what if she wakes up?)
We'll be right back
Well, I will - you'll be in the trunk

Chorus
SO LONG, BITCH YOU DID ME SO WRONG
I DON'T WANNA GO ON
LIVING IN THIS WORLD WITHOUT YOU

You really fucked me, Kim
You really did a number on me
I never knew me cheating on you would come
Back to haunt me
But we was kids then, Kim, I was only eighteen
That was years ago
I thought we wiped the slate clean
That's fucked up!
(I love you !)
Oh God my brain is racing
(I love you!)
What are you doing?
Change the station I hate this song!
Does this look like a big joke?
(No!)
THERE'S A FOUR-YEAR-OLD BOY
LYIN' DEAD WITH A SLIT THROAT
IN YOUR LIVING ROOM, HA-HA
WHAT YOU THINK
I'M KIDDIN' YOU?
YOU LOVE HIM DIDN'T YOU?
(No!)
Bullshit, you bitch, don't fucking lie to me
What the fuck's this guy's problem on the side of me?
Fuck you, asshole, year bite me
Kim, KIM!
Why don't you like me?
You think I'm ugly don't you
(It's not that!)
No, you think I'm ugly
(Baby)
Get the fuck away from me, don't touch me
I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!
I SWEAR TO GOD I HATE YOU
OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU
How the fuck could you do this to me?
(Sorry!)
How the fuck could you do this to me?

Come on, get out
(I can't I'm scared)
I said get out, bitch!
(Let's go of my hair, please don't do this, baby)
(Please , I love you, look we can just take Hailie and leave)
Fuck you, you did this to us
You did it, it's your fault
Oh my God I'm crackin' up
Get a grip Marshall
Hey, remember the time we went to Brain's party?
And you were like do drunk that you threw up all over Archie
That was funny wasn't it?
(Yes!)
That was funny wasn't it?
(Yes!)
See, it all makes sense, doesn't it?
You and your husband have a right
One of you tries to grab a knife
And during the struggle he accidentally gets his Adam's apple sliced
(No!)
And while this is goin' on
His son is woke up and he walks in
She panics and he gets his throat cut
(Oh my God!)
So now they both dead and you slash your own throat
So now it's double homicide with no note
I should have known better when you started to act weird
We could've… HEY! Where you going? Get back here!
You can't run from me, Kim
It's just us, nobody else!
You're only making this harder on yourself
Ha! Ha! Gotcha!
(Ahh!)
Ha! Go ahead, yell! Here, I'll scream with you!
AH SOMEBODY HELP!
Don't you get it, bitch, no one can hear you?
Now shut the fuck up and get what's comin' to you
You were supposed to

UNDER THE INFLUENCE
Featuring D-12
Written by M. Mathers, D. Hulton, R. Johnson, D. Moore, V. Carlisle, D. Porter

[Eminem]
Translation
So you can suck my dick if you don't like, my shit
Cause I was high when I wrote this so suck, my dick - ha ha!
Two pills I pop, 'til my pupils swell up like two pennies
I'm Clint Eastwood in his mid-twenties
A young ass man with a trash can strapped to the back of his ass
so the rats can't chew through his last pants
I'm like a mummy at night, fightin with bright lightning
Frightened with five little white Vicadin pills bitin him
I'm like a fuckin wasp in the hospital lost
Stingin the fuck outta everything I come across in the halls
I light a candle and place it up on the mantle
Grab a knife at the blade and stab you with the fuckin handle
So when you find yourself wrapped up in the blinds, hurtin

[Swifty] Bitch it's too late

[Eminem] Cause once you're hung from the drapes, it's curtains

[Swifty]
I'm an instigator, .380 slug penetrator
Degradin, creatin murders to kill haters
Accused for every crime known through the equator
They knew I did it (uh-huh) for havin blood on my 'gators
My weed'll hit yo' chest like a double barrel gauge an'
I'm a black grenade that'll blow up in yo' face {*BLAM*}
With a fifth in me, when I guzzle Remi I do shit on purpose
You never hear me say, "Forgive me"
I'm snatchin every penny - it gotta be that way nigga, face it
That weed I sold to you, Brigade laced it
You hidin, I make the president get a facelift
Niggaz just afraid, handin me they bracelets
Chillin in the lab wasted
I'm the type that'll drink Kahlua and gin - throw up on the mic
Your life is ruined, you get socked right on site
And even at the Million Man March, we gon' fight

Chorus: Eminem

So you can suck my dick if you don't like, my shit
Cause I was high when I wrote this so suck, my dick
Cause I don't give a fuck if you don't like, my shit
Cause I was high when I wrote this so suck, my dick

[Bizarre]
I'm a compulsive liar, settin my preacher on fire
Slashin your tires, flyin down Fenkel and Meyers
Plates expired, soon as I'm hired, I'm fired
Jackin my dick off in a bed of barbed wire
(Hey, is Bizarre performing?) Bitch didn't you read the flyer?
Special invited guest will be, Richard Pryor
(Aren't you a male dancer?) Nah bitch, I'm retired
Fuckin your bitch in the ass with a tire iron
I'm ripped, I'm on an acid trip
My DJ's in a coma for lettin the record skip.. {*needle pops*}
Lettin the record skip.. {*needle pops*}
Lettin the record skip.. {*needle pops*} (Damn!)
{*DJ reverses the record and scratches it back on beat*}
I'm fuckin anything when I'm snortin
It's gonna cost 300 dollars to get my pit bull an abortion
{*dog whines*} Some bitch asked for my autograph
I called her a whore, spit beer in her face and laughed
I drop bombs like I was in Vietnam
All bitches is hoes, even my stinkin ass mom

[Proof]
Aiyyo flashback, two feets, two deep up in that ass crack
Weed laced with somethin {*gun cocks*} nigga pass that
In Amsterdam we only hang out with hash rats
At a 'Stop the Violence' rally, I blast gats
Be your mom on publishin, get your ASCAP-ped
The Kuniva, divide up your cash stack
Run your motherfuckin pockets, ASAP
I don't need a platinum chain, bitch I snatch Shaq's
Born loser, half theif and half black
Bring your boys and your guns and get laughed at
Bitch smacker, rich rappers get they Jag jacked
and found chopped up in a trash bag

[Kuniva]
We stranglin rappers until the point they can't yell
cause they crew is full of fags and sweeter than bake sales
Reckless, come from behind and snatch your necklace
Gruesome, and causin more violence than nine hoodlums
I grapple your adam's apple until it crackle
Run right past you, turn around, grab you and stab you
Get executed, cuz I'm a "Luni"
I got a "Yukmouth" and it's polluted
I cock it back then shoot it
I love snatchin up players thugs and young ballers
Shoot up the household, even the young toddlers
Brigade barricade to bring the noise
While the bullets break your bones up like Christmas toys
If I go solo, I'm doin a song with Bolo
A big Chinese nigga, screamin "Kuniva yo yo.."
I leave ya face leakin, run up in church
and smack the preacher while he's preachin
Take a swing at the deacon

[Kon Artis]
I used to tell cats I sold weed and weight
I was straight 'til I got caught sellin em shake
I'm ignorant, with the intent to snatch your rent
I got kicked out of summer camp for havin sex in my tent
with the superintendent's daughter, my brain's out of order
I've been a Kon Artis since I was swimmin in water
In cahoots with this nigga named Carlisle Von
who got fired from UPS for tryin to send you a bomb
(Special delivery!) I signed to a local label for fun
Say I got cancer, get dropped, take the advancement and run
Driveby you in the rain while you carry your son
Call your house and hang up on you for not givin me none
Born straight up out a pussy but a son of a gun
Got a reputation for havin niggaz runnin they funds
Used to be the type of nigga that was foldin some one's
'til I met your fat mama, now I'm rollin in dough

Chorus

[Eminem]
Haha.. suck my motherfuckin dick
D-12.. Dirty motherfuckin Dozen
Nasty like a stank slut bitch with thirty fuckin husbands
Bizarre Kid
Swifty McVeigh
The Kon Artis
The Kuniva
Dirty Harry
Haha, and Slim Shady

Back to Top

A lot of people ask me…stupid fuckin' questions
A LOT OF PEOPLE THINK THAT..WHAT I SAY ON RECORDS
OR WHAT I TALK ABOUT ON A RECORD, THAT I ACTUALLY DO IN REAL LIFE
Or that I believe in it
Or if I say that I wanna kill somebody, that..
I'm actually gonna do it
Or that I believe in it
Well, shit…if you believe that then I'll kill you
You know why? 'Cause I'm a

My words are like a dagger with a jagged edged
That'll stab you in the head whether you're a fag or lez
Or the homosex, hermaph, or a trans-a-vest
Pants or dress - hate fags? The answer's "yes"
Homophobis? Nah, you're just heterophobic
Starin' at my jeans, watchi' my gentials bulgin' (Ooh!)
That's my motherfuckin' balls, you'd better let go of 'em
Hey, it's me, Versace
Whoops, somebody shot me!
And I was just checkin' the mail
Get it? Checkin' the "male"?
How many records you expectin' to sell
After your second LP sends me to jail?
C'mon! - Relax guy, I like gay men
Right, Ken? Give me an amen (AAA-men!)
Please Lord, this boy needs Jesus
Heal this child, help us destroy these demons
Oh, and please send me a brand-new car
And a prostitute while my wife's sick I the hospital
Preacher, preacher, fifth-grade teacher
You can't reach me, my mom can't neither
You can't teach me a goddam thing 'cause
I watch TV, and Comcast cable
And you ain't able to stop these thoughts
YOU CAN'T STOP ME FROM TOPPIN' THESE CHARTS
And you can't stop me from droppin' each March
With a brand-new CD for these fuckin' retards
Duhhh, and to think, it's just little ol' me
Mr. "Don't Give A Fuck" still won't leave

I'm a Criminal
'Cause every time I write a rhyme, these people think it's a crime
To tell 'em what's on my mind - I guess I'm a CRIMINAL
But I don't gotta say a word, I just flip 'em the bird
And keep goin', I don't take shit from no one

The mother did drugs - hard liquor, cigarettes, and speed
The baby came out - disfigured, ligaments indeed
It was a seed who would grow up just as crazy as she
Don't dare make fund of that baby 'cause that baby was me
I'm a CRIMINAL - an animal caged who turned crazed
But how the fuck you s'posed to grow up when you weren't raised?

So as I get older and I got a lot taller
My dick shrunk smaller, but my balls got larger
I drank more liquor to fuck you up quicker
Than you'd wanna fuck me up for sayin' the word…
MY MORALS WNET THHBBPP WHEN THE PRESIDENT GOT ORAL
OFF OF HIS OWN EMPLOYEE
NOW DON'T IGNORE ME, YOU WON'T AVOID ME
So as I get older and I got a lot taller
My dick shrunk smaller, but my balls got larger
I drank more liquor to fuck you up quicker
Than you'd wanna fuck me up for sayin' the word…
MY MORALS WNET THHBBPP WHEN THE PRESIDENT GOT ORAL
OFF OF HIS OWN EMPLOYEE
NOW DON'T IGNORE ME, YOU WON'T AVOID ME
You can't miss me, I'm white, blond-haired
And my nose is pointy
I'm the bad guy who makes fun of people that die
In plane crashes and laughs
As long as it ain't happenin' to him
Slim Shady, I'm as crazy as Em-
Inem and Kim combined - [kch] the maniac's in
Place of the doctor 'cause Dre couldn't make it today
He's a little under the weather, so I'm takin' his place
[Mm-mm-mmm!] Oh, that's Dre with an AK to his face
Don't make me kill him too and spray his brains all over the place
I told you, Dre, you shouldn't kept that thang put away
I guess that'll teach you not to let me play with it, eh?
I'm a CRIMINAL

AIGHT LOOK (UH-HUH) JUST GO UP IN THAT MOTHERFUCKER GET
THE MOTHERFUCKIN' MONEY AND GET THE FUCK UP OUTTA THERE
[EMINEM] AIGHT
I'LL BE RIGHT HERE WAITIN' ON YOU
YO EM
[EMINEM] WHAT?!
DON'T KILL NOBODY THIS TIME
[EMINEM] AWWRIGHT..GODDAMN, FUCK…
(WHISTLING) HOW YOU DOIN'?
[TELLER] HI, HOW CAN I HELP YOU?
[EMINEM] YEAH, I NEED TO MAKE A WITHDRAWL
[TELLER] OKAY
[EMINEM] PUT THE FUCKIN' MONEY IN THE BAG, BITCH, AND I WON'T KILL YOU!
[TELLER] WHAT? OH MY GOD, DON'T KILL ME
[EMINEM] I'M NOT GONNA KILL YOU, BITCH, QUIT LOOKIN' AROUND…
[TELLER] DON'T' KILL ME, PLEASE DON'T KILL ME…
[EMINEM] I SAID I'M NOT GONNA FUCKIN' KILL YOU
HURRY THE FUCK UP! [BOOM] THANK YOU!

Windows tinted on my ride when I drive in it
So when I rob a bank, run out and just dive in it
So I'll be disguised in it
And if anybody identifies the guy in it
I hide for five minutes
Come back, shoot the eyewitness
And fire at the private eye hired to pry in my business
Die, bitches, bastards, brats, pets
This puppy's lucky I didn't blast his ass yet
If I ever gave a fuck, I'd shave my nuts
Tuck my dick in between my legs and cluck
You motherfuckin' chickens ain't brave enough
To say that stuff I say, I just make it up
To make you mad, so kiss my white naked ass
And if it's not a rapper that I make it as
I'ma be a fuckin' rapist in a Jason mask

THE KIDS
Written by M. Mathers, Bass Brothers, S. King
Replaced Kim on Clean Version of The Marshall Mathers LP

[MR MACKEY]
And everyone should get along…
Okay children quiet down, quiet down
CHILDREN I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE OUR NEW SUBSTITUE TEACHER FOR THE DAY

Children quiet down please
Brian don't throw that (SHUT UP)
Mr. Shady will be your new substitute
While Mr. Kaniff is out with pueumonia (HE'S GOT AIDS)
Good luck Mr. Shady

Hi there, little boys and girls (FUCK YOU)
Today we're gonna learn how to poison squirrels
But first I'd like you meet my friend Bob (Huh?)
Say, Hi Bob! (Hi Bob") Bob's thirty and still lives with his mom
And he don't got a job, 'cause Bob sits at home and smokes pot
But his twelve-year-old brother looks up to him an awful lot
And Bob likes to hang out at the local waffle spot
And wait in the parkin' lot for waitresses off the clock
WHEN IT'S LATE AND THE LOT GETS DARK AND FAKE LIKE HE WALKS HIS DOG
DRAG 'EM IN THE WOODS AND GO STRAIGHT TO THE CHOPPING BLOCK (AHH!)
And even if they escaped and they got the cops
The ladies would all be so afraid, they would drop the charge
Till one night Mrs. Stacey went off the job
When she felt someone grab her whole face and said not to talk
But Stacey knew it was Bob and said knock it off
But Bob wouldn't knock it off 'cause he's crazy and off his rocker
Crazier than Slim Shady is off the vodka
You couldn't even take him to Dre's and get Bob a "Dr."
He grabbed Stace by the leg and chopped it off her
And dropped her off in the lake for the cops to find her
But ever since the day Stacey went off to wander
They never found her, and Bob still hangs at the waffle diner
And that's the story of Bob and his marijuana
And what it might do to you
So see if the squirrels want any - it's bad for you

Chorus
SEE CHILDREN DRUGS ARE BAHHHD (C'MON)
AND IF DON'T BELIEVE ME, ASK YA DAHHHD (ASK HIM, MAN)
AND IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ASK YA MOM (THAT'S RIGHT)
SHE'LL TELL YOU HO SHE DOES 'EM ALL THE TIME (SHE WILL)
SO KIDS SAY NO TO DRUGS (THAT'S RIGHT)
SO YOU DON'T ACT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE DOES (UH-HUH)
THEN THERE'S REALLY NOTHIN' ELSE TO SAY (SING ALONG)
DRUGS ARE JUST BAD, MMM'KAY?

My penis is the size of a peanut, have you seen it?
FUCK NO you ain't seen it, it's the size of a peanut (Huh?)
Speakin' of peanuts, you know what else is bad for squirrels?
Ecstasy is the worst drug in the world
IF SOMEONE EVER OFFERS IT TO YOU, DON'T DO IT
KIDS TWO HITS'LL PROBABLY DRAIN ALL YOUR SPINAL FLUID
AND SPINAL FLUID IS FINAL, YOU WON'T GET IT BACK
SO DON'T' GET ATTACHED, IT'LL ATTACK EVERY BONE IN YOUR BACK
Meet Zach, twenty-one years old
After hangin' out with some friends at a frat party, he gets bold
And decides to try five, when he's bribed by five guys
And peer pressure will win every time you try to fight it
Suddenly he starts to convulse and his pulse goes into hyperdrive
And his eyes roll back in his skull [blblblblblb]
His back starts ta look like the Mcdonald's arches
He's on Donald's carpet, layin' horizontal barfin'
And everyone in the apartment starts laughin' at him
"Hey Adam, Zach is a jackass, look at him!"
'Cause they took it too, so they think it's funny
So they're laughing at basically nothing except maybe wasting his money
MEANWHLE, ZACH'S IN A COMA, THE ACTIONN IS OVER
AND HIS BACK AND HIS SHOULDERS HUNCHED UP LIKE HE'S
PRACTICIN' YOGA
And that's the story of Zach , the ecstasy manic
So don't even feed to squirrels, class 'cause it's bad for you

Chorus
SEE CHILDREN DRUGS ARE BAHHHD (THAT'S RIGHT)
AND IF DON'T BELIEVE ME, ASK YA DAHHHD (THAT'S RIGHT)
AND IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ASK YA MOM (YOU CAN)
SHE'LL TELL YOU HO SHE DOES 'EM ALL THE TIME (SHE WILL)
SO KIDS SAY NO TO DRUGS (SMOKE CRACK)
SO YOU DON'T ACT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE DOES (THAT'S RIGHT)
THEN THERE'S REALLY NOTHIN' ELSE TO SAY (BUT UMM)
DRUGS ARE JUST BAD, MMM'KAY?

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST, ONE OF THE MOST HUMONGOUS
PROBLEMS AMONG YOUNG PEOPLE TODAY IS FUNGUS
IT GROWS FROM COW MANURE, THEY PICK IT OUT, WIPE IT OFF,
BAG IT UP, AND YOU PUT IT RIGHT IN YOUR MOUTH AND CHEW IT
YUM YUM!
Then you start to see some dumb stuff
And everything slows down when you eat some of 'em..
And sometimes you see things that aren't there
(LIKE WHAT?)
Like fat women in G-strings with orange hair
(Mr. Shady, what's a G-string?) It's yarn, Claire
Women stick 'em up their behinds, go out and wear 'em (Huh?)
And if you swallow too much of the magic mushrooms
Whoops, did I say magic mushrooms? I meant fungus
Ya tongue gets all swoll up like a cow's tongue
(HOW COME?)
'Cause it comes from a cow's dump
(GROSS!!)
See, drugs are bad, It's a common fact
But your mom and dad know that's all that I'm good at (Oh!)
They're gonna come for me and I'ma have to grow a goatee
So don't do drugs, and do exactly as I don't,
'Cause I'm bad for you

Chorus
SEE CHILDREN DRUGS ARE BAHHHD (UH-HUH)
AND IF DON'T BELIEVE ME, ASK YA DAHHHD (PUT THAT DOWN)
AND IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ASK YA MOM (YOU CAN ASK)
SHE'LL TELL YOU HO SHE DOES 'EM ALL THE TIME (AND SHE WILL)
SO KIDS SAY NO TO DRUGS (SO NO)
SO YOU DON'T ACT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE DOES (LIKE I DID)
THEN THERE'S REALLY NOTHIN' ELSE TO SAY (THAT'S RIGHT)
DRUGS ARE JUST BAD, MMM'KAY?

[MR. MACKEY]
Come on, children, clap along
(SHUT UP!)
Sing along, children (SUCK MY MOTHERFUCKIN' DICK!)
Drugs are just bad, drugs are just bad (SOUTH PARK IS GONNA SUE ME!)
So don't do drugs (SUCK MY MOTHERFUCKIN' PENIS!)
So there'll be more for me(HIPPIE! GODDAMNIT!0
(MUSHROOMS KILLED KENNY! [FART]
EWWW, AHHH!)
(So fucked up right now…)

THE MARSHALL MATHERS LP