A few weeks after my wife left us on 10th April 1994, I was given a little piece of paper on which was written:

             Message from Jesus.

"Tell Eardley I love him and need him to go on loving and serving ME. I never leave my children and therefore to take courage and hope in loving ME."

 "Child of my care, rest in Jesus."

            1 Corinthians 16, vv. 13-14

Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong; Do everything in love.

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in the hope of the glory of God.  Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverence;  perseverence,character;  and character, hope; and hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us.

For in this hope we were saved.  But hope that is seen is no hope at all.  Who hopes for what he already has?  But if we hope for what we do not yet have,we wait for it patiently.  In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness.

...so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.

            The wonderful thing about our relationship with God is that we didn't do anything to make Him choose us.  He has chosen everybody, however worthless, however bad we might have been.

            The most difficult thing is for us to realise that we don't have to do anything apart from what is the easiest thing in the world to do.  Yet for some people it is the hardest thing in the world to do. All we have to do is to acknowledge our wrongdoings, where we have deliberately done something that we know is wrong, or hurtful, then tell our Saviour that we are sorry and to ask Him to wash them away in the Blood of Jesus Christ, our Saviour.  We must then ask Him to enter our lives and to lead us forward in His Way.  He will wash those sins away and make it as though they never existed.

            A great deal of hurt and bitterness is caused by the break up of a marriage, especially where one person's trust has been betrayed.  That is where God is only too willing to take that hurt and to cradle us in His protective arms to comfort us.  I know, He has supported me and comforted me. He has shown me what to do, even though at the time I did not realise that it was He who was telling me to do things that I did, I can look back and give Him the praise, because, even though it was often against what others were 'advising' me to do, I know that it was right.

            That verse in Corinthians  "Do everything in love"  is so important, especially when dealing with one's estranged or divorced spouse.  So often the temptation is to get even, or to hurt the other person.  Where does that get you?  Nowhere at all!  All that it does is to fuel the fires of hatred and bitterness.  It will also help the other person to feel justified in what they have done.  The only person to benefit is the lawyer.

            It is important to forgive the other person and to tell them so.  I did that about six months after she left us.  I have given her to the Lord. Yes, I know that the pain does not go straight away, but when it comes, Jesus is there to comfort us. Forgiving someone does not mean that you condone what they have done to you.  All that bitterness and hatred do is to hurt the person who is harbouring those feelings.

            The tragic events of the terrible tragedy in New York on Sept 11th 2001 have shown us that we do not necessarily have the opportunity for a 'deathbed confession' so we must be ready for Him at all times.   We don't know when He will call us, so we should always be ready for Him when He does call as we never know exactly when that call will come.

            I am very blessed that I live only five minutes walk from St. Mary's Church, Longfleet Road in Poole, which is where I worship.  It sits on high ground and can be seen from quite a distance.  It is a Christ filled Church where Christ crucified is preached.  The vicar is Rev Andrew Perry.
 
 

            My e-mail address is    ewh.bryan@ukonline.co.uk

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