atlantis - season two

Season Two

Go To Episode

The Siege pt III

Previously on Stargate: Atlantis: They left me completely unsupervised for several months and I became terribly obsessed with Rodney McKay. I’m finally getting around to doing this show! Thank goodness for Izzie’s tapes!
Teyla doesn't have an "and now the conclusion" kind of voice. She makes the conclusion seem calm and unexciting
I'd hope a group of marines wouldn't need to be instructed to defend themselves.
Fed on a by a Wraith, blown up or drowned. That’s not much of a choice for poor Ford.
Ford! No! Okay, so I knew that was going to happen and am rather faking the surprise, but still... Ford!
"Who the hell is this? And why are you talking to me when I'm meant to be being all stealthy?"
How would John know what the code 'AC1' meant? What does the code AC1 mean?
Hang on, I know that voice... Agent Skinner! Skinner in space!
Somebody needs to tell Rodney that John is alive before he cries in public.
I wish they'd learn to pronounce Daedalus properly. Die-dalus, not Ded-alus
Rodney would just like to sleep now please.
Oh bless, when Rodney gets his ZPM it’s like all his Christmases have come at once. Rodney may possibly have found his one true love.
I'm sure Rodney can lecture and get the shields up simultaneously
Space Guns! Big Honking Space Guns! I'm ludicrously excited by rail guns. They're incredibly cool things
Novak the hiccoughing engineer. She’s infinitely less annoying here.
They're obviously very wise allies
The problem is that they really do have to keep Rodney alive, even if Elizabeth doesn't want to admit it.
Why is Carson floating about in the command area? Surely he’d be more useful in the infirmary? Shouldn't Carson be off helping people, instead of just staring over Zelenka's shoulder?
What kind of pointless failsafe is that? What if they need to beam an enemy weapon *off* the ship?
“I’m getting good at the rolly things.” Oh bless, Rodney's been practising those rolls for months, just to impress any passing soldiers. I’m betting that he practices in quiet corridors when he thinks that no one is looking.
He's got himself a little speech of defiance! Oh Rodney. So brave and yet so utterly futile.
I get the impression Rodney and Hermiod would get along very well.
You can tell that's Asgard swearing, it's all in the tone. That’s a very pissy Asgard, and I love the fact that he is obviously swearing under his breath.
Frankly it's about time the Asgard blew something up for us. We've done it for them often enough
That explosion looked great on my downloaded computer copy; it looks incredible on a real TV
They sound oddly surprised that the formation's attacking Atlantis. Isn't that what they're there to do?
That would be *another* problem
Zelenka patiently explains what ballistic means. How does she not know what 'ballistic' means?
I do love Rodney declaring he's just snapped. Anyone else would just quietly go nuts in the background, Rodney has to announce it over the Atlantis-wide communication system.
As ever, whacking something really hard is they key to solving all technical problems.
Sandwich first, then bed. Otherwise there will be crumbs. I have a wonderful image of Rodney curled up in bed with a giant baguette
Stargate:Atlantis – The home of the sandwich joke.
I think Rodney would prefer the Wraith were told that to be honest. If she'd told them about the sandwich they'd have understood
Sheppard looks a bit uncomfortable with the utterly un-Weir like public display of affection. John's dealt with many a commanding officer, but none of them tried to hug him before.
Go on Shep, smother him with a pillow.
That's very obviously the only time he's saluted since he graduated flight school.
Has Zelenka been allowed to go to bed with a sandwich yet?
That's pretty damn tough
Yet another cryptic radio comment that must utterly piss off people in charge. “You’re going to want to get up here.” Why? Disaster? Cake? The Avon lady?
As if on cue; their day just got worse.
Rodney is just too tired to cope with human beings at this time.
It is one kick-ass ship though. That has to count for something
“If my calculations are correct... heh...” That level of arrogance would be hell to live with on a daily basis.
What is it about intergalactic space travel that means you have to wear boiler suits?
I don't think they need Teyla to tell them the Wraith are a touch pissed off
Eye! Look at his eye! It’s all gross and Wraithified
Also, your engine just blew up.
You’d think that they’d try not to put explosive gases in the command area.
Hyper-drive girl has the easiest job: press the button to start, press the button to stop.
Rodney has a chart listing the pros and cons of all those different types of death.
I hope Atlantis has a porch and outside lights
Just let Ford guard the infirmary or something. Put him in charge of sitting very still and counting the bandages.
What's with the bizarre goggles? Those are some very funky looking goggles.
They do have outside lights!
Did Ford just kill someone with a mug?
Did Rodney and John walk out of the middle of that meeting just so they could share a moment on the balcony?
It’s pretty, if a little pink.
Except that last season they stated that the Wraith would search the wreckage, that's what the virus aimed at deleting the Ancient database was all about.
Won't the Wraith be a touch suspicious if there aren't any bits left
What's the use of unskilled personnel if not for cannon fodder?
I don't think she's all that wild about the idea
Oh yeah, because Teyla's powers have worked so well before. Last time she connected to the Wraith, it was bad, right?
It's a joke for a small audience but "What are you, Union?" is possibly the funniest line ever.
Why doesn’t Carson just stay in the infirmary and use the radio?
I love the guy with the obvious comedy head-wound
There has got to be a serious long term affect on the marine life of Atlantis (and that of the people on the mainland) with all those nuclear bombs going off. Given the amount of nuclear explosions this planet has been exposed to, I'm surprised they haven't all started growing extra limbs.
That's a phenomenal special effect. That is just awesome. We're going to have five shows in a row where they don't leave the city just to pay for that, but it'll be so worth it
Why are they whisper... Ah, it's for atmosphere. I can understand that.
Zelenka! No one hurts Zelenka! He hit Zelenka!
How many jumpers do they actually have?
Ford can't pilot a 'jumper, he doesn't have the ATA gene. More importantly, isn't that the jumper they were using to cloak the city? *ignores continuity errors and jumps up and down excitedly because Atlantis is back*

The Intruder

Does anyone else wish we'd got a "Rodney McKay comes down off stimulants" episode? It seems a shame to throw away all that comedy potential.
Coffee isn’t going to help them sleep.
Lieutenant Colonel! He's now *officially* in charge!
I bet Sheppard’s been absolutely insufferable since that promotion. Oh, he's never going to stop mentioning that.
I'm surprised there were people who thought he'd make it that far.
Does hyperspace have a sound?
I would imagine that the rest of the staff on Atlantis only let them go back to earth if they came back with chocolate.
“There’s been an accident...”and I bet the first thing that flashed through their minds was “What’s McKay done now?”
I love it when terse military types snap questions like “How did he die?” at hapless medics. They’re probably biting back responses like “Well, my crystal ball says that his heart stopped beating.”
Which means he was struck by lightening.
Doesn't the Daedalus have it's own medical personnel? They can't get Carson to do the autopsy if someone gets murdered on the way back
They don't have their own accident investigators either
You can almost see Rodney's blood pressure rise when he's forced to use words like 'juice'.
Why isn’t McKay answering Caldwell back? *intrigued* I thought they might know each other because Caldwell recognised his voice in 'Siege III' , but this not only proves they know each other but that Caldwell has some kind of power over Rodney. Huh.
It's also very much his ship
Look at Sheppard grinning because someone else got the 'questioning my authority' lecture.
Miaow, Dr Weir is showing her claws.
Ooh! Exciting flashback!
Dr Weir is doing her best Captain Kirk impersonation by removing her entire senior staff and putting them in harm’s way. If these four are on here who's in charge of Atlantis? Un-named Canadian Control Room Guy? Have they left Zelenka in charge of Atlantis?
I want an official SGC mug more than I can possibly express
No! Not Skinner! The little-legged elf eared one is prettier!
If I can't work in an assuming the position joke here then I'm not the fringedweller I thought I was
Maybe McKay should start using Sheppard's first name? I still say Captain Carter, and she hasn't been that for years
I told you Rodney and Hermiod would get on like a house on fire.
"He doesn't like it when people stare." That's the first piece of emotional awareness Rodney has shown in his entire life, and it's to an alien. That's somehow fitting.
Hermiod the pissy Asgard is back, which is a good thing. The fact that Sheppard is completely freaked out by him is fantastic.
Roughly translated as "He's the first of the stupid humans to notice I'm not wearing any clothes."
Poor Lindstrom. You can tell he’s a redshirt.
Rodney's getting very slack, letting all these underlings call him by his first name.
Crispy fried scientist.
See, Rodney's being polite to Caldwell; there's definitely some kind of history we don't know about.
Well, don't choose the base-jumper for a start.
Just pick the cutest and go with them
Hang on, I thought that (the nattily dressed) Carson was a geneticist, not a surgeon? Carson's a surgeon and a geneticist? He's either brilliant or not very good at either.
It’s a bit of a presumption on the part of Weir that the man she unceremoniously left would be willing to ditch everything and follow her? I mean, she didn’t even warrant a cat from him, she should have known that the relationship was doomed. I would've thought the most obvious reason he doesn't want to go with her is that she dumped him via video message.
“Airperson! Don’t be there!” is very polite for Rodney. So rude and so politically correct, all at the same time.
The Asgard said crap! Sorry, but the sound of an Asgard swearing is indescribably funny
Sheppard and Caldwell have wonderfully identical expressions of mild bemusement
Also, everyone will be dead.
They’re going to have to reboot the ship, aren’t they... yes, they are. They’re treating the very complicated ship like I treat my computer when it freaks out when I try to listen to music and play a game at the same time. It takes three hours to reboot my laptop, and only one to reboot the Daedalus?
I doubt Caldwell is ever going to like any of Sheppard's ideas.
I don't know who that is, but it's definitely not Ford's granny
Wow! Smart-casual!Sheppard is pretty cute! I bet he only dresses like that for funerals and breaking bad news.
See, this is why you never take the offer of tea in other people's houses. He's got to sit there and finish his cup before he can run away.
Why not beam the strangely vulnerable looking Sheppard (with his little legs) to the infirmary rather than the bridge?
Shouldn't he be sitting down?
I don't think it's actually that much more complicated.
The John Sheppard Book of Computer Repair has one page and it says: "Ask McKay to fix it."
Well, Elizabeth's still having the damn food.
Oh god, Elizabeth, how many times do you have to be told?
Why not? It doesn't need them to steer
Can't they transport into the fighter bay..?
Apparently so
I'm not sure how Rodney thinks that's going to help. I love Rodney’s instinctive reaction to the inter-ship beaming.
Now is probably the time to panic.
That F302 had a rubber duck key-ring!
Look at Rodney's athletic bound!
“Colonel Sheppard, do you read?” “Well, I don’t get the chance very often, what with being a gung-ho military leader, being beaten up by a woman with a pair of sticks on a semi-regular basis and trying to get my bed-head artfully mussed.”
He's only doing the fancy rolls to annoy Rodney.
I knew they wouldn't be able to save the day without blowing at least one thing up
I would count not vomiting on the controls as a personal victory
Teyla!? Teyla was left in charge?
Carson has a supply of moisturiser. That’s... disconcerting.
I do love the way Carson is just resigned to responding to Rodney's every whim.
Ah, that's okay, Zelenka was in charge.
We didn’t get to see Rodney picking his new staff.

Runner

They never mention the botany; it puts people off.
Major Lorne is not a happy camper. Or a happy field botanist, for that matter.
If vegetation can persist then it's fairly likely that other things can too
That wasn't Ford, was it? Ford! In a tree! For some reason I thought that was worthy enough of a mention. Ford! *clings to Ford*
Beckett has a remarkable sense of timing. He's also remarkably clean for a man mid-autopsy
He’s done it again! Once more Carson feels the need to trek all the way to the command centre to deliver a message that could have been done via radio. It’s not even his “yes, ma’am” scene, he’s allowed off world in this episode!
“This isn't fair!” Poor Rodney. Why is he being dragged off world anyway? What use is an astrophysicist on that sort of mission?
Caldwell is going to stick a colour coded chart on Sheppard's door for that remark.
I can't believe Rodney let the comment on his being right streak go by
Why am I not surprised Rodney has cocoa butter?
I wonder what percentage of deadly isn't?
Major Lorne got the short straw, as Sheppard demonstrates the perks of being in power.
Would it be wrong to be even more attracted to Rodney now I know he can make me SPF 100 sunscreen? I would kill people for SPF100 sun cream
Why doesn’t Teyla ever tie her hair back?
Friends is a slightly optimistic term.
You know, I can easily see that conversation occurring. That is *exactly* how Ford and McKay would bond
"That means quiet, right?" It’s either “Quiet” or “Save time Baldrick, and run into my fist.”
That was a very athletic collapse to the ground.
26.30 Atlantis Standard Time? How long are the weeks on Atlantis?
It’s a new game they can play when they’re bored off world, “Ford/Not Ford.”
I know he's just gaining consciousness, but there is no way you can confuse that man with Ford.
A tall, handsome man in leather trousers. For that I’ll forgive the dreadlocks. Oooh! It's leather pants week in the Stargate studios.
Sheppard really has no other settings than 'charm', does he?
I think someone needs to clarify exactly what he's a specialist in.
My god, Rodney McKay as a father. That’s a scary thought.
Sheppard really thought that Teyla would grope him then, of all times? Mind you, it’s not like he could run away. Sheppard genuinely thinks Teyla would try to feel him up.
A year ago, Rodney wouldn't have even picked up on that. He's learning.
There must be more gossip than that
Ronon doesn't really look like the joining type.
"I have heard..." Of course she has. God forbid there's something in this galaxy that Teyla doesn't know
Ford hasn't changed much, apart from being slightly more insane.
Rainbow Franks is doing a fabulous job here. Finally Ford gets something to do, even if it is to go slightly nuts.
“Why would you do that?” “Your name is on the credits now, I figure that you’re important.”
I had to do *exactly* that after being dragged round half of Paris by my father. In the end I had to sit on a kerb and refuse to move until he could prove he actually knew where he was going
Look at McKay’s strop! That’s pretty impressive.
Beckett would rather he remained unarmed too. Beckett has too much luggage to be armed.
Poor Carson, Androcles indeed. Although the lion is really hot.
It's hard to look dramatic with a torch strapped to your head.
See, I'd poke him extra hard just to prove him wrong.
That was clearly a flinch
I love the grimace that Sheppard pulls.
“I’m quite certain that I’ve disabled the device. Now that I’ve jumped up and down on it a few times, anyway. And thrown it in that stream. And watched that trout swallow it. At worst, the Wraith will be moving from hunting to fishing. Can I go home now? Please?” Is Carson qualified to disable devices?
You can't help but feel that that's a David Hewlett scream, rather than acting.
As if the day couldn't get any worse, you find yourself hanging upside down with a guy shooting at you.
I'm with Rodney, surely there's a rule about shooting unarmed upside down people?
What a fabulous first meeting.
Wow Ford, that was certainly one way off the planet.
Rodney would just like everyone to know that he actually hit something.
Surely the MALP only saw one city? There may have been other survivors on the planet.

Duet

I bet those signposts actually have in-jokes written on them.
Having the enemy eat its victims is a fantastic plot device – it gets rid of all the dead bodies. "Aliens off the set!"
It was the botany thing Rodney didn’t want anyone to know about.
Rodney got a date! Good on Rodney. Although, I can't help wondering how that came about. Did she send him an e-mail?
"With a woman?" Poor Rodney, that's the reaction absolutely everyone on Atlantis will have when they find out. Beckett’s incredulity at the thought of Rodney getting a date is funny, but it’s the “with a woman?” that really makes the joke. It's Rodney's spectacularly delayed reaction that does it for me
All the men of Atlantis will live in fear of Girls' Poker Night from now on.
Carson isn't really built for field work is he?
Notice that in the face of danger, both scientists stand and gawk until they’re prodded into actually trying to save their lives.
Well, that’s one tree that won’t be bothering our brave heroes any more. Well done, Major Lorne.
That was a heartfelt “Oh crap!”
Shoot it! How easily are you going to be able to carry out first aid on a thing that wants to eat you?
Why is that man driving a souped-up golf cart around the crash site?
Zelenka gets to go off world! They let Zelenka off world!
What was Zelenka saying to Carson?
I love Zelenka's reaction to hearing a noise. It's the hair that really makes it work.
I love Carson's "we" in that sentence. I can't imagine he had much input into interpreting the data from the dart
Eenie, meenie, miney, moe.
Does it really take three people to lift McKay?
How tempting must it be to keep Rodney sedated for longer than necessary?
That was superbly gloopy organic noise
The scientists have a disturbingly large supply of latex gloves.
Transformer bits! That’s a meticulously labelled tin.
Whiteboards! The Daedelus bought whiteboards!
Does anybody understand Zelenka’s little Czech rant there? Or can he insult anybody he likes, safe in the knowledge that nobody understands him?
It's very hard to eat jelly with your fingers. Ronon’s pretty to look at, but his table manners are disgusting. Although, he does raise his little finger when he slurps from the water jug.
Ronon doesn't look like he has many career options open to him beyond 'scary guy carrying weapon'
The other advantage is that there's always a seat next to him at meal times.
Atlantis is chock full of people who don’t really fit in, he'll feel right at home.
The cutlery actually manages to make his table manners worse.
Carson waits patiently until Rodney starts to make sense or falls unconscious.
Oh, like a good deal of Rodney's work doesn't involve mashing on a keyboard hoping something will happen.
That’s something to get printed on a T-Shirt. "I'm not crazy, I just have another consciousness in my brain." is going to be my epitaph.
I love the way John continues to talk about Rodney as if he's not standing right there in front of them.
“Dr Fumbles McStupid” I really, really wish that I had the opportunity to call someone Fumbles McStupid, more than anyone can ever know. I'm so calling my next cat Fumbles McStupid.
I like that all the science staff have stopped working because they know this is going to be a fantastic argument.
Rodney's perfectly capable of doing both at... ah, there we go.
You can see the blood pressure rising. Any minute now he's going to snap.
I wonder if Cadman can get Rodney to poke himself until he pays attention
There we go.
If people would just stop saying his name...
Zelenka's stern look is surprisingly impressive
The fact Rodney likes it in there is the source of all his problems.
“Be cool!” Well, that’s never going to happen with McKay.
Rodney only ever uses the word 'whatnot' when he's talking to women that find him attractive.
It says an awful lot about me that I think that was quite suave.
Rodney knows all he cares to know about women.
My god, Sheppard looks camp. Does Sheppard have any idea how gay he looks leaning against that naked torso and watching other men get sweaty?
That poor bloke is verging on insubordinate there, but he does have a point. There’s a good reason why Sheppard isn’t letting himself get beaten up by Ronon. Maybe he’s just embarrassed after getting beaten up by Teyla on a regular basis.
Rodney's still can't quite get past "I've seen your body"
Being Rodney's therapist deserves danger money.
The words 'Rodney' and 'release control' do not belong in the same sentence.
I love that when he crosses his legs it's Rodney, not Cadman.
Couldn't they have given Ronon a new shirt?
Colonel Sheppard has gun envy. Take that as you will.
Sheppard's more than a little turned on right now...
Is Zelenka using new conditioner?
Did Rodney just use the phrase "this bad boy"?
Back away and avoid eye contact with the crazy man.
Of course Rodney would have a picture of his cat by his bed. Although, that's not actually the cat he left behind. So, either there's backstory about Rodney's cat we're missing out on, or the props person just isn't trying hard enough.
That looks like a very uncomfortable way to sleep. Sleeping on your front is so bad for your back!
There's an awful lot of fruit lying around Rodney's quarters.
It's nice that Cadman wants to show off Rodney's cleavage.
You have to give David Hewlett credit here, as his mincing is absolutely top notch. A man of David Hewlett's build should not be able to mince that effectively. Not that I'm complaining.
Carson has on off-duty wooly jumper!
Paul McGillion does a fantastic job as the straight man throughout this episode.
The drool on Rodney’s chin was a nice touch, I think.
Mmmm, Naked McKay. I didn't think I'd ever get to say that, can I just say how much I love Stargate: Atlantis?
"Pants" At least Rodney has his priorities right.
I think Rodney's overestimating the amount of sheet he needs.
Cadman has a lot of stuff in her room for someone that’s just come to Atlantis.
If it's two o'clock already then there's not awful lot of today left
"You were late, so Ronon and I engaged in a little foreplay, I hope you don’t mind."
Teyla seems to have an awful lot of soft furnishings.
I can do that! Of course, I can't actually get up again.
Teyla may want to sit in a different way on that bed, or, given that Ronon has just come in, maybe not.
Casual!Carson is much appreciated. I like his stripy shirt.
Poor Katie, she was so hoping they could skip the food and go straight to the hot astrophysics love.
I'd love to say that I'd be very disturbed if a guy bought another man on our first date
That's actually quite a heartfelt toast from Rodney.
I think getting drunk is probably the way to go
I love Carson's look of absolute despair at Rodney's attempts at small talk.
Thank God Cadman took over, that date was appalling.
My word Cadman can kiss. Other women
He growled at Carson! It's the little growl Rodney gives that makes it so superb.
Is no one going to ask why Rodney's in his dating clothes?
Poor mice. They travel to a different galaxy, probably the only intergalactic rodents ever, then they get crispy fried. Do you think that the mice open the doors on Atlantis?
As far as Sheppard is concerned, if you've got your own gun – you're in. “Please Elizabeth? I’ll feed him, and walk him, and clean his cage out every day!”
There actually isn’t any need for these jump-cuts, it's incredibly easy to tell Rodney and Cadman apart.
*brain goes to bad place*
Zelenka's being gloriously patient in the background of this scene
How can Rodney possibly explain what happened?
“Rodney! Come back! Your gown is backless...”
They have military issue dressing gowns and slippers?
I think we should have seen Zelenka's attempts to catch the mice.
The German scientist is trying to get a better look!
It's testament to the utter brilliance of this episode that the first canon man-on-man kiss in science fiction is by no means the high point.
I think that after that kiss with Carson, Rodney would welcome being stored in the Wraith dart for a while. That’s a story that will circulate very, very quickly.
Sheppard has a new playmate!
Carson clings desperately to the hope that it was Cadman who kissed him.
Okay, that's was superb. It’s the funniest thing I've seen in a long time.

Condemned

One upped by Ronan of all people, that’s not going to please Rodney. McKay's more a theoretical scientist. Observation's not his thing.
That's one damn big campfire
Rodney and Ronon bond over food.
Ronon took the bed comment awfully well
Actually, that makes Rodney one of the three bears...
That arrow had Sheppard’s full attention for a moment there.
Wouldn’t those men have been blown away in the same direction?
Does Ronon never change his clothes or has he just got twenty identical sets of ripped shirts and leather trousers?
That woman is wearing an incredibly stupid dress – it’s so tight that she’s waddling!
Shouldn’t Ronan be limping?
Why not move the 'gate?
Ooh, Ronan has a tattoo on his neck. I haven’t noticed that before!
Oh, so they're violent criminals? That's fine to send them to their deaths then.
That's some truly hideous beige carpeting
There's something inherently untrustworthy about an administration that decorates its offices with giant plastic flowers.
I love Ronon pocketing food in the background.
How on earth am I supposed to interpret John's reaction to Rodney's "call me a romantic"? I get confused when subtext becomes text. Aw! He *should* call him romantic!
Somehow, I think there’s a whole America vs Canada argument that we’re only scratching the surface of here. You just know those two have long, loud, late night discussions in the mess-hall about the relative merits of Canada and America. It's strange hearing you follow the phrase 'long, loud, late-night' with something as innocuous as "discussions in the mess hall"
Margaret Thatcher is a very creepy woman. And Rodney seems to be on the verge of discovering his aunt was an uncle.
Mortars aren't particularly advanced, technologically
The Puddle Jumpers aren't particularly resilient are they? I can't believe the jumper was bought down by what's effectively a potato bazooka
One word: Seatbelts.
At least he landed right-side up
How much junk do they fit in the jumper? There seems to be tons of random things all over the floor.
You've got to feel sorry for the extra trying to look threatening with nothing more than a piece of elastic and a forked stick
Yay! Comedy rocket launcher joke! Although I’m concerned for health and safety reasons that they carry a loaded rocket launcher around.
Erm, Rodney's all grubby and wearing a leather collar. *pinches self*
“What am I, MacGuyver?” *worrying image of Rodney with a mullet* Nope, he’s on the other show. Occasionally.
Why don’t they just poke those sticks out from behind their backs?
I know I'm very late on the bandwagon, but Joe Flannigan really does have extraordinarily pointy ears
The chief baddie’s description of Rodney makes him sound like the Cowardly Lion. Oh great, now I’m recasting The Wizard of Oz in my head, and John’s Dorothy, complete with gingham dress.
Rodney's fairly sure he doesn't harbour anything like that on the inside.
Why design a ship that can't go through the 'gate in stealth mode?
Fuses? They set them off with a big fire on a stick!
Where do you get spare parts for a 10,000 year old ship? I had trouble enough getting them for my 1987 mini metro.
"Going to make sure you're the first the Wraith find..." And also he's going to shoot someone, which is probably a more immediate danger
Pick Teyla!
What is this guy, psychic? That’s Rodney to a tee! That's the first time Sheppard's realised that? That's such a glorious look on John's face... "You...You *have* been doing that! You bastard!"
He killed more people in the city than he's managed to do on a lawless island with what seems to be an endless supply of weapons?
That poor woman's having terrible trouble walking in that rubber dress
He killed the guards! He's a psychopath!
Why on earth would Rodney be holding back?
"Give me one reason..." Because he just helped you escape? It'd be unsporting
Ronan’s lost his big swirly coat. I liked that coat.
I thoroughly approve of adopting pacifism due to being naturally lazy
Those are gorgeous wine glasses. I've been looking for some just like those for ages
This Wraith looks like a Carl. I think that this wraith should be called Julian. He looks too refined to be a Bob or a Steve.
I think I'd be quite annoyed if they kept trying to feed me unwashed, malnourished food.
Didn't the Wraith evolve from blood-sucking insects? I'm not sure they had any tastes to refine
Ewwww! Dribble!
Look, Ronan’s found his limp again.
If there's one person you don’t leave in charge of making the snacks, it's Rodney.
I'm sure the bickering can't be good time management.
"Choose your words..." I think she just did
That was an excellent threatening glare from Major Lorne
Sheppard has stick follies. Oh John, you're just going to have to accept she's stronger and better than you.
John seemed to take his guy out with a whole lot less effort than the other two
I like the fact that Ronan isn’t averse to kicking a man when he’s down.
Does Eldon just get to follow Rodney around like a lost puppy once they get back to Atlantis?
For a war ship, that cruiser has a shockingly poor aim
Won't the Wraith recognise the 'gate chevrons for Atlantis?

Trinity

I've seen this episode thirteen times and I'm still ridiculously excited.
You wouldn't think Rodney and Ronon would find anything to bond over, and yet they do.
I think I'd like Teyla more if the writers didn't give her such god-awful expository dialogue that makes her sound so incredibly stupid. "There was a great battle here." Yes, because of all the *ice*!
Oooh, suitably atmospheric weather.
Ancient technology and a honking great space gun; I haven’t seen Sheppard and McKay so simultaneously excited since Rodney got shot over the balcony.
You can tell it's exciting science, because Rodney's not complaining about dust allergies.
And there she goes again. "Something killed everyone on this world..." Well, of course they did, on account of everyone being dead.
Bless, the team are developing their own way of dealing with Rodney’s immense self-absorption, which seems to be rolling their eyes and putting up with it.
It means Rodney is all excited, that's what it means. What else do you need to know?
Faced with the choice of going on a trip with Teyla or Rodney, Ronon takes the sensible choice.
Ronan's a big guy. He could probably conceal quite a lot. You just know that, for Ronon, 'bare minimum' still involves grenades. I’d like to see Ronon’s bare minimum.
Zelenka seems very perky for someone who's had stomach flu. I wonder if he was faking so he could have a day off
Look at them being all geeky! *dies happy*
I'm all for cool, but just turning the weapon on sounds very scary. Quick rule of thumb with dealing with alien technology; if you don’t know what it is, don’t turn it on!
I love that they've obviously spent time considering how much Sheppard will appreciate the weapon.
I honestly don't know if I'm more excited by giant space weapons or more excited by pastry.
I swear that shot of John laughing is actually just a reaction shot of Joe Flannigan. It's so natural.
Sheppard doesn't know what that means, except that it makes his geeks happy, and that's all that's important.
I think that was my favourite scene of anything ever.
I'm sure I've seen the bizarrely side-burned drinks waiter before
Ronon wins the standing up and glaring menacingly game. Ronon looks like he's on the verge of laughing all the time. Although, I suppose if you carry the weapons he does, you're likely to get the last laugh.
Ronon hasn't quite grasped the concept of a negotiation has he?
Oh bless, Rodney’s all glowy and excited.
And also it's a big honkin' space weapon! For those who don’t speak Rodney and Radek, Alkaline batteries translates as really, really good.
Arcturus? There's an Arthur link here?
Rodney and Radek really need helpful flashcards at times like this.
I love any show that assumes its viewers know about the Manhattan Project.
Rodney was hoping to brush over the death and destruction part.
Oh, Rodney so thinks he's smarter than the Ancients.
I think we should be allowed to watch Rodney finish the Ancients' work from the next universe over
Radek's tired of always having to remind Rodney they're a 'we'.
Geek montage! With doughnuts! What other show would give you an astrophysics montage? With comedy bickering? The sweet thing is, Rodney and Zelenka genuinely believe they're working together in a quiet and cooperative way
Everyone needs a Lieutenant Colonel for the heavy lifting.
Why do people always have to automatically assume you're dating?
"There is no closer bond..." and yet you're expected to hear a line like that and assume that the two people involved *aren't* dating
Ronon and his best friend have passed that drunken line into quaffing.
Oh dear. This does not look good for Collins.
People in close proximity to Rodney appear to get crispy fried with alarming regularity.
It’s the little wisps of smoke from the charred body that makes that shot.
Carson’s “Yes, ma’am” scene, and they’ve suddenly remembered his yellow jacket.
Rodney's very protective of his team
Did they really expect Rodney to be willing to stop?
I think maybe someone ought to offer Rodney counselling. Or, at the very least, some tissues and the chance to cry in a quiet lab somewhere.
Elizabeth needs to be careful how often she refers to the military as "them", especially when several of them are right there in the room
Teyla’s leaving him alone when he’s all drunk and molestable? Stupid, stupid girl.
That's an incredibly sweet moment between Ronon and Teyla. They're growing on me.
I'm not sure if that's wishful thinking on Rodney's behalf or whether he's deliberately lying, but that didn't actually happen.
It seems really strange that Sheppard would refuse to let Rodney inside his room.
Hubris means nothing to Rodney, does it?
He's convinced him with the hot dog. I wouldn’t rank the hot dog up there with the great technological innovations.
Well, that *is* the best case scenario from Rodney's point of view.
Oh god, he asked him to trust him? Something is going to go terribly, terribly wrong.
I love John's smirk whenever Elizabeth slaps down Caldwell.
Mitchell is doing the military equivalent of running to a grown-up so he can tell
My opinion of the Ancients has taken quite a dive in the past few weeks. I'm quite ready to believe they could be wrong
Elizabeth's slightly concerned that John and Rodney are using the weapon to work out their trust issues.
"I don't think it matters how much cake you walk on." You can never quite tell if Zelenka is genuinely baffled by these strange English sayings, or whether he just does it to annoy Rodney.
Unpredictable particles are an basic part of quantum physics
That was extremely harsh, even for Rodney.
Why on earth are you asking Rodney? Of course he'll say yes. Elizabeth just lectured Caldwell on how they need to protect Rodney from himself and she completely fails to do just that!
I love the fact Teyla acknowledges that the Atlanteans would not understand killing someone in cold blood. It's the first time that she shows any depth whatsoever.
John shouldn't have to be told to avoid flying into the trajectory of a giant space weapon
Would cloaking the 'jumper help?
It's funny how Rodney never mentioned the bit about potentially destroying the solar system before now.
It's good to know that the Daedalus has nothing better to do than follow Rodney and Sheppard on their play date.
You forget just how huge the Daedalus is
Berating a member of your staff in public is incredibly bad management, even if it is Rodney. I love that you don’t need to be in the room with them to hear Weir’s rant, and neither does the rest of Atlantis.
Five-sixths is more than three-quarters. It's good that Rodney remains pedantic even though it actually makes it worse.
Was that solar system populated?
I hope everyone else apologised to Radek as well. I doubt he expects much else from Rodney, but he should have received a little more respect from them.
He apologised by e-mail? Fantastic.
Sheppard doesn't know quite what to do with an emotional Rodney. There's every chance he might cry.
Poor Rodney, he's not entirely sure how he made friends in the first place, it's going to be quite a challenge to get them back.
Sheppard just pressed a point in the ocean.

Instinct

I think that Rodney could probably think of many things that he hates more than a damp cold if he puts his mind to it. Nothing he hates more than a damp cold what?
You can practically see a tumbleweed roll through that bar.
They could all take care of themselves, except Rodney. Rodney still needs babysitting.
"Why?" Well, because it's *exactly like a Wraith*
By “investigate”, he actually means hit with big sticks with sharp bits on them.
I'm fond of the fact that the Ancients and all their technology didn't manage to kill off the Wraith, yet these people are perfectly capable of dispatching two of them with nothing more than hoes
That’s an impressive scream from that female extra.
Ewww! I'm *eating* for god's sake! Are Wraith victims usually that gross?
It's funny how Rodney becomes far more interested in native customs once they involve food.
McKay always attracts the annoying kids; he must be magnetic. Children will come for miles to annoy the funny man.
Ronon would be pretty cool at parties even without the weaponry.
“I also have good hearing.” I love that, it reminds me of a hilarious scene from Farscape where everyone seems to have better eyesight than Crichton.
Sheppard really approaches Rodney like you would an annoying puppy.
“Are you sensing anything? “I’m not sure.” Good grief, Teyla’s turning into Counselor Troi.
McKay is coping with the unexpected cross-country running remarkable well. Either Teyla and Sheppard are running slowly or Rodney's running fitness has improved dramatically.
Rodney's trying so hard to be macho, but his flashlight is shaking.
So, butchering adults is fine?
"Lower your weapons and I'll explain" Honestly I think I'd want the explanation first
Blue bubbling water: The international sign of chemistry.
They don't seem like the kind of culture that have invented the microscope
Rodney isn't comfortable when science is multi-coloured.
John just can’t sit normally, can he? That cannot be a comfortable way to sit, particularly as a man.
“Pimples, rebellion, life sucking.” Welcome to my working world!
Elizabeth seems very interested in John's teenage rebellion
You can just hear Kaylee under all that prosthetic make up.
Rodney's sticking with that expression of mild distaste for the whole rest of the episode
Is Rodney suggesting there's something incestuous going on?
Does Ronon look like a tea drinker?
Ronon appears to have some unsolved biscuit issues. Hmm. Ronon must be deathly scared of biscuits. Perhaps that’s his secret shame.
Are they ever going to get round to tracking the other Wraith? The one that's actually killing people?
Frankly Rodney, you bother everybody. Annoying people is his default setting.
"Assuming she's telling the truth." And that there aren't two rivers
That is also the river where a blind Fraser knocked a criminal unconscious with a bola before he and original!Ray rafted to safety. I miss Due South.
Why don’t people ever check around corners before starting these conversations?
"Love... Human companionship..." I find DVDs and chocolate substitute for that just fine
So now it's okay to get his hopes up? “I didn’t want to get your hopes up, but now I will despite there being no proof that this retrovirus will actually work.”
He could use mime. I'd love to see somebody try and mime a retrovirus
That’s a bit rich from Carson, he never uses the radio either!
Why bother to remove the Velcro patches from their clothes if all their equipment is labelled with 'Atlantis'?
All fathers have to find out that their darling daughters do naughty things at some point.
This is such a horribly bad idea.
Rodney and Carson had to be rescued by a teenager.
Carson shot something!
Rodney has a very quiet panic attack.
It's always important to check you still have nipples.
Carson's experiment did exactly the opposite to what he expected? That's a really appalling failure.
We've seen this flashback already
What are they going to reverse the effects with? if Carson's painstakingly-engineered retrovirus didn't work, I don't have much hopes for his hastily prepared cure
I do like the way Teyla is teaching Ronon the practicalities of Sheppard's command. I love that fact that John’s team have a tacit agreement to follow his orders until they decide that they don’t want to anymore.
That cut doesn’t bode well. I'm guessing Sheppard is now infected as well?

Conversion

With Rodney's propensity to faint, it might be wise he does have the stretcher. “You have a splinter!” No doubt Carson’s had to explain why a splinter doesn’t qualify as a life-threatening incident many times before. I think Rodney should be allowed to demand to be wheeled everywhere
“Behold my amazing medical skills!” improvises Carson, as he tries to distract people from noticing that his patient has healed himself.
Well, you can bet that's bad news
Those rubber ties actually have to be tight to be of any use. Granted, if it stays tight for more than three takes Joe Flanigan's arm would fall off, but if you want to be realistic...
Running is a normal part of his day? Weirdo.
It didn't take Ronon long to master the frankly complex art of drinking out of those squeezy sports bottles
So Ronon is Grumpy, and McKay is Doc...
I so hope we get to see Teyla get her arse kicked. Notice that when John is doing better than Teyla, it's not actually Joe Flanigan we see fighting.
I like the fact that he holds one hand behind his back.
Sheppard is very creepy like this.
That wasn’t a kiss, he was trying to eat her face. Alien sex pollen! It's fanfic cliche #27! He's under the influence of alien sex pollen!
Knee him in the testicles, that's what they're for.
Frankly, yes, that was Carson’s attempt at the good news side of the good news/bad news speech.
Is six hours just an arbitrary checking in time?
Caldwell has a casual uniform jumper! I have to say that's not a fetching tie/jumper combination
If I was Weir I would have pretended to be working on a Very Important Document.
He'll regret taking the games off the Daedalus computers the next time they're stranded in outer space with nothing to do.
Pushy though Caldwell is, it's prudent that he stay
Sheppard strikes me as the kind of guy who forces people to listen to late night guitar renditions of Johnny cash songs.
Urgh! Don’t prod the disgusting lesion! That's a rather excellent scab. It's even gooier than the second-generation scab I had on my elbow when I knocked the first one off and it went septic
That’s not a very distinct way of getting Carson on the radio, saying “Hey Doc” would link Sheppard to anyone who wasn’t in the military, basically.
I know Rodney destroyed a solar system, but Beckett is just as guilty of trying to meddle in things he doesn't understand, and no one's yelling at him.
John? Emotionally repressed? No.
It so is!
I do love hyped-up John "One of the best weeks of my life was when I had my wisdom teeth out." I've had seven days of codeine treatment before and it's *fantastic*
And Rodney thought the science team were difficult.
That is a stunning plan. They're going to retrovirus the retrovirus!
An egg hunt? Basically Carson has arranged things so he can take his staff on a nature walk
“Consider it done,” says Caldwell, “because I’ve secretly done it already.” Caldwell's been waiting for this opportunity.
He's blue and scaly, how on earth does that constitute 'well'?
Rather, the infirmary staff were on the verge of killing him, so they sent him away so they didn’t have to put up with his whinging.
I'm very fond of Major Lorne, he's world weary meets common sense, armed with a machine gun. It's a nice balance
Caldwell had all those e-mails ready to send. If they leave Caldwell in charge much longer he'll be redecorating, and picking out new curtains
Isn't this exactly the same cave they were in last week?
Ronan is so disgusting.
Shouldn't Lorne be thinking up the plan rather than Carson? I think that's an excellent plan
I would have worn a scarf. Just in case
That's it, Elizabeth, let the chitinous man know you're horrified. She does have an *awful* bedside manner. I'd just like to say thank you to Atlantis for giving me my first opportunity to use the word chitinous in quite a while.
Okay, that's just horrifying.
He only *thinks* that's it?
They need a giant grabby claw-on-a-stick
Carson's suddenly being very brave. Look at brave!Carson being all, well, brave.
Is no one else going to help? Are they all just going to stand there and criticise his technique?
He didn’t give Walker or Stevens much of a chance.
That was some grenade. Surely that blast would destroy the cave and all the eggs?
They really have got the city's effects down brilliantly.
If John is so much faster now, why can't he get the eggs? Is the transporter on the Daedalus capable of beaming an egg out?
Or "Where are you?"
I would have thought that it’d be easier to look for Sheppard with the lights on.
Nice ambush
John's incredibly intense stare was utterly ruined by the cute little wrinkling of his nose
Spiderman!
Rodney has comfort jelly! Rodney's comfort eating. Not to be confused with when he panic eats, danger eats or hungry eats. They're entirely different.
Rodney's getting really sick of John dying.
Chitinous! Chitinous is the word you're looking for, Rodney.
Why have they put John in the fetching knitted robe?
"We've spent all week building this nest set and and goddamn it we're going to light it so people can see..."
Rodney’s compliments are so forced.
Casual!Sheppard is a little too fond of beige chinos.
For a man who's petrified of bugs, he's coping well.
And by that she actually does means don't *ever* think of it again.
Well, that little scene was uncomfortable for everybody involved.

Aurora

I think Ronan's rather hoping a fight's going to break out
As long as Ronon lives, he won't understand these strange Earth customs.
Whoever staged this scene must be a fan of the Stare Olympics
If joining in meant playing chess I wouldn't want to join in either
Ronon has blue jelly. He'll fit in fine
Ronon's silence has a wonderful ability to make everyone else look like an idiot, and I can't help but feel he does it deliberately.
Leaving the table's still quite rude
They have a porch?
Won't Caldwell's crew be on the mission anyway? Presumably they're needed to fly the ship
Caldwell needs to get over his snit. It's making me wonder how he reached Lieutenant Colonel in the first place.
Oh, Weir so enjoys reminding him of her powers.
They're ready *and* they have snacks. See, if that were SG1, they'd be marching towards the 'gate looking like heroes. John's team look like they've been dragged out of bed and are barely speaking to each other. It sums up the difference between SG1 and SGA nicely.
I'd expected something a little more impressive.
We've seen the spacesuit, we've seen the hazmat suit, SGA now bring you the spacehazmat suit.
Oooh, exciting bubbles
"In a type of..." the word she's looking for there is 'stasis'
How many people does this ship have in stasis and how did they all fit on the ship when they were alive? On a related note, did the ship just casually happen to have around several thousand stasis pods capable of sustaining life for 10,000 years just in case?
Dear lord they must be bored. How long can you talk to the same people for?
I really hope that's what they're saying
In McKay's head everyone refers to him as the smart one, in everyone else's head he's prefixed with a swear word.
No Rodney! Don't put anyone in the pod!
Rodney is volunteering to go because whenever he gets new science he stops thinking with the survival section of his brain. I don't think Rodney ever stops thinking with the survival part of his brain
Dear God John, this is what you have subordinates for
Teyla knows just how to get Rodney to do as he's told.
It actually shows progress on Rodney's behalf that it took Teyla to point that out to him.
The Oz joke is wonderfully lost on the two aliens
Bloody hell it worked
That's not a good outfit. The Ancients have appalling fashion sense
Sheppard makes a mental note to ask the female marines to dress that way.
Oh, come on John catch up. Of course they don't know they're in a simulation.
There has to be a more delicate way of breaking to someone that their current reality is merely a virtual simulation
For a minute, I thought he was stuck too.
Rodney isn't used to being on the receiving end of the sarcasm.
I love the way John physically looks up when talking to the Daedalus
Colonel Sheppard? The man you're supposed to be paying attention to?
Once the charm fails, Sheppard has nothing to fall back on.
Just how "grateful" is John planning to be?
Ronon makes Teyla so much more interesting and funny.
One word. Radio. Again. Okay that was two words.
I forgot, John also has overwhelming coolness to fall back on.
Oh that poor guard. He's so going to be demoted
It's called a plot device, Rodney.
Rodney really needs to get this bravery impulse treated.
So many of John's awakenings involve Rodney bitching.
It's weird that that outfit doesn't look so bad on Rodney
Oh! Masterful stalling by Teyla there. For the first time I have to show a rather grudging respect for Teyla. That was a wonderfully improvised cover story
Ronan's finding the fake nerd-talk incredibly sexy
In Sheppard's mind if the woman doesn't fall for his charms, she must be evil.
On the other hand, while their fashion sense is appalling the Ancients are all wearing very sensible shoes
Caldwell silently questions how on earth Sheppard's team have survived this long. Poor Caldwell. "Weren't we meant to be getting people *out* of the pods?"
The fate of the entire galaxy is put on hold whilst John and Rodney have one of their tiffs.
Is the arm-crossing an integral part of the exit process?
Of course, now Rodney is out there, alone, with a Wraith. Rodney could have thought that one through better
Shoot it now! Don't wait for it to wake up.
Maybe he'll get lucky and the wraith will have cramp too
Military thrust? Do they have a civilian thrust for when they only need to meander away?
Ooh! Shiny. That's how the Aurora will be remembered.
That was so incredibly sad! And a minor bit-part character made me cry!
John promised to get drunk?
John gets extra respect for knowing how to open champagne properly
Rodney still sniffed his drink to check for lemon, even though John gave it to him.

The Lost Boys

I think we should keep a record of the amount of episodes which begin with Rodney announcing "This is ridiculous."
You can't help thinking that Rodney's entire career has been devoted to discovering that planet of blonde women.
"Lower echelon teams" Oh they all look disapproving, but you know they've all numbered them too. I'm surprised Rodney didn't just say "less important"
Well, I imagine Sheppard is quite a hard guy to tie down to a dinner date.
Ford! Ford!
Ford doesn't seem to understand that friends just aren't so comforting when they're nuts.
Didn't Ford and Ronon meet?
It was three whole questions. That's not all that complicated
I suppose it's important to memorise the unfriendly addresses too
These people don't seem friendly at all
Afro!Ford is quite scary.
Why hasn't Ford given the enzyme a stupid name?
Don't you think "we're taking them alive this time" is the kind of information you should share before the mission?
"There are live Wraith here?" Teyla's wraith sense is, yet again, useless.
There's always a henchman called Jace.
Okay, I've held back on the dubious biological nature of this enzyme business up to now, but this is a step too far. Enzymes are proteins and therefore, will be broken down during digestion. Ford's plan is therefore a stupid one. Also, Rodney should have paid better attention in that undergraduate biology class.
"When I toked pot once in college" It's good we get a little insight into Rodney's depraved past.
Did they just let Rodney say 'bastard" before 9pm? I'm sure they let Atlantis and Stargate get away with all sorts of stuff because they just assume it's the kind of show where people don't swear.
Rodney always seems to be responsible for the other shoe dropping.
It's fanfic cliché #172: McKay and Sheppard get caught up in whatever they're doing off-world. That just sounded so suggestive.
Lorne tries desperately to cover up the fact he just accused Weir of being a mother hen.
Ronon pushed over a chair in protest? That's very tame.
If those guys are on the enzyme too, then shouldn't they be as strong as Ford?
"Holding a grudge? For kidnapping and drugging me? Why would I do that?"
Since it's not Jace's C4, technically he can't be stealing it "back"
What other kind of Hive would he be referring to? Is there a bee crisis in Atlantis we haven't heard about?
I love the idea of the enzyme making them bouncy enough to leave the atmosphere
That's an appallingly camouflaged Wraith dart.
Now, *that* sounds like a bad plan.
Weir gave Lorne's team a scientist of their very own.
The SGA writers took two seasons to explain exactly why Rodney's on the team.
They're very fond of the montage this season.
Teyla and Ronon have very good hair for fighting montages.
John fell for it! Sheppard can be so naive sometimes
How can anyone find Ronon attractive when he's the kind of man who eats with his mouth open?
I'd do that for a good piece of watercress, too.
Has McKay had withdrawal symptoms too?
Is Major Lorne in charge when Sheppard isn't there?
After them how? Is Ford just going to jump off the ledge and hope he catches them up before they hit the ground?
I love the noise Ronon's gun makes.

The Hive

My widescreen hasn't resolved properly and John's all thin and squished
She's taking his wrapper off! I'm sorry, that was funny in my head.
As interrogations go that was pretty tame
Ah. The all-important control panel that will doubtless aid their escape later in the episode...
I do love the idea of a Wraith team meeting. "Right, let's get started, does everyone have a copy of the agenda? Item one: From now on, could everyone please log their stationary requests with Jean."
Ford is bizarrely unattractive when he has visible hair.
I bet they're regretting giving him the enzyme now.
John suddenly realises a Lieutenant Colonel really should know about the extra knife rule. I love how everyone in the cell bar Sheppard seems to know the’ one to find, one to keep’ rule.
Ronon has all kinds of exciting things concealed about his person. Ronan must be walking around very carefully if he’s secreting knives all over his person. It suddenly makes the thought of jumping him and ripping his clothes off slightly less attractive if you know he’s booby trapped.
You just know that, once they get back to Atlantis, John is going to spend ages trying to hide knives in his hair. There will probably be a comedy injury.
That jail break was remarkably easy.
I would love to find it hard to believe that Rodney just said "lock and load", but it's just exactly the kind of thing he thinks action men say. Despite the fact he has nothing to either lock or load
Fighting!Rodney is one of my favourites. Look at that punch! Rodney hyped up on the enzyme is hilarious. “That’s what you get when you back a brilliant scientist into a corner! A scientist not afraid to kick burly men in the crotch!”
There's an awful lot of script learning and acting effort put into a scene shot from a mile away.
Does the word 'trap' mean nothing to these people?
He did mention Ford. Weir clearly isn't listening at all
That last dose was probably a bad idea.
Oh, poor Rodney, he's just been exceptionally brave and now everyone is just going to think he's insane.
I know that David Hewlett can speak quickly but that must be some kind of record!
That fall sounded like it hurt.
When John Sheppard tells you that you've got issues, it's time to worry.
I'm not sure Rodney's blood pressure is at a particularly sensible level at normal times.
The 'gate needs some kind of 1471 facility
Carson is willing to put up with a lot from Rodney, but he crack about being more popular with the ladies was a step too far.
I think that by the time that Rodney comes down, Carson will have wished that he had killed him.
"Oh, I have an inkling." Was that a reference to Carson's drug-addled past?
"I do not know what else to do for him." You could always try yelling again. That seemed to help
Okay, I now have some truly unwelcome images of Rodney playing the part of the little girl in The Exorcist. *tries desperately to stop them going too far* I can just picture Rodney's head spinning right the way round in times of stress
I get the impression Rodney's ego is regularly referred to as 'the beast'.
John sounds so heartbroken when he asks where they're taking Ford. "But I just got him back!"
Please, that woman is obviously a plant.
Well, of course John has clown fear. Clowns can be frightening, but mime artists are the worst.
He recovered fast!
Isn't that how Rodney feels most of the time? That's pretty much Rodney's whole life.
Sheppard’s last cell mates were far more useful in the pointy weapons department.
Exactly which battle did they win against the Wraith?
I think that Sheppard’s taking this moment to have a small nervous breakdown at the thought of the Clown Army. "They just keep sending them in..."
John actually does have nightmares about the clowns doesn't he? He tried to talk to Heightmeyer about them, but she couldn’t stop laughing long enough to help.
Ah, it's Zelenka's "no ma'am" scene.
Ah, John Sheppard; if you don’t ask, he won’t tell.
Don't fall for it! Oh! He didn't!
On the other hand they do have a lot of misinformation about clowns. Of course, thanks to John's mastery of disinformation, when the Wraith eventually do get to Earth, we'll have valuable extra time to organise a defence whilst they seek out and destroy Billy Smart. Wow, I think that may be The Fringedwellers' Guide's first ever culturally-specific circus joke.
Oh, good save: From unconvincing ploy to fabulous plan in the space of a sentence.
Ford! That's the third time this season that Ford's arrival has merited an exclamation point.
“That was the easy part,” says Ford cockily, as the writers fail to think of a plausible explanation for his continued existence other than that they’re fond of Rainbow Sun Franks.
Ronan remembered to take his coat!
Don't shout at Rodney, he's having a bad day.
That wasn't a signal, it was exactly what all the other darts were doing!
If John can read the display well enough to identify the hive ships, surely he should be able to identify the Daedalus?
"A dart firing at one of the hive ships..." After two years, Rodney can confidently identify John's suicidal tendencies.
Lorne and Caldwell helpfully explain what's going on for people who can't work it out from the effects. "They're firing at each other!"
You really shouldn’t have to watch someone die like that twice.
They shouldn't worry about John. He'll be in Atlantis before they are
Unnamed Canadian Control Room Guy has a green jacket! We've never seen one of those before. Do you think it's specifically for unnamed technicians or is it just the one they have to use on laundry day?
Why isn’t Sheppard demanding that they go and rescue Rodney?
If you die you should actually be dead; all Rodney is asking for is a little consistency.
I don't think Rodney is getting enough credit for his selfless, if ultimately pointless, act of bravery.
I'm with Sheppard. Never believe they're dead until you've seen the body. And even then make sure you've poked it with a stick a few times

Epiphany

Why does Rodney have a laptop this time? Usually it's a little handheld device.
I think Atlantis need to let go of the 'mysterious energy spike' plot device
Doorway. That's clearly a doorway and not a door at all
Wow, both Teyla and Ronon manage to state the bloody obvious this week.
Sheppard carries Duct Tape!
This is never going to work...
MALP on a stick? What was that about people not being allowed to name things? A MALP-on-a-stick should be integral mission equipment
Generally, when there's lots of ancient writing next to something unusual it's a wise idea to at least try and read it. Rodney's pretty fluent. Why doesn't he read it?
I can't imagine Ronon enjoying ascension all that much. I think there would be too much floating and not enough hitting things
Well, that's ruined a perfectly good day.
The whole team dynamic falls apart when Sheppard's not there to prevent Ronon pulling McKay's arms off.
Still a cave...
Oooh! Time dilation field! I love time dilation fields.
I love the idea of a rock suddenly hurtling through the portal after a misguided decision to chuck one in from the other side
Is that going to ricochet..? Simple answer, yes. Well, that should put a stop to those "Sheppard is a closet maths genius" theories doing the rounds. Not shooting yourself in the foot is a simple matter of angles.
I'd always expected John to refer to himself as Lieutenant Colonel.
Ronan and Teyla's impatience would be a little more understandable if they had any kind of plan of their own beyond doing the exact same stupid ass thing John did.
Well counted! It's hard to insert words and not lose track
We've sadly missed the look on Sheppard's face as his team wave flowers at him for the best part of a week
John desperately tries to get reception...
John mumbles a lot when he's by himself.
How long is it going to take for the genius to think about send a note?
Teyla thinks that branch has only aged several hours?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of a time dilation field?
Well, it turns out he does have time to explain temporal distortion.
Notice how Rodney, even when he thinks about sending a note, completely fails to actually send a note.
It is incredibly hard to fringedwell an episode that gives Rodney a reason to speak faster than normal.
It's about time these people learned to stand back and not ask questions. Seriously, how hard a concept is it?
Conan and Xena!
Beard!
Run Teyla, Run. Time distortion remember?
Sheppard has grey hair in his beard!
Everyone is very willing to let Rodney take the blame for things that are not his fault.
Wow, McKay was almost modest then. "I can't fly the damn thing in a straight line."
Oooh! Invisible beasties! Attention Lost production team: That is how you do a scary invisible monster.
Is the time dilation field an invisible beastie prison?
Ah, yet more Ancient thoughtlessness.
I can't help but feel robbed of the opportunity for bearded!Rodney.
I'm pleased that John spends bad days hiding under his duvet too
Aw, Sheppard is still wearing his holster! It's like a security blanket.
Joe Flannigan's really not happy about being made to chew that grass
Weir sits back and appreciates Rodney just doing his thing.
It seems unfair to make the entrapped person go to church.
Those boots can't be comfortable to run in.
They must have razors in this town, so why on earth isn't John using one?
He really does have oddly short legs!
Yes, but the people on the other side might have sent him chocolate. Have they gotten round to including that note yet?
"Tonight? Am I going to be any good?"
I'd have rather waited for a day when he wasn't completely worn out too
10,000 years inside or 10,000 years outside?
I think Carson would be happy to stay behind. Carson raised his hand! There's a man who's spent far too long in formal education
John's a lot more enthusiastic about the world after he's had sex
John's being quite rude to his hosts.
There's still reason to hurry. Missing a date is one thing, turning up on time but twelve years older is something else entirely
I like that John's actually very angry with them all.
Rodney had explaining hands! He was all ready to make lots of explanatory gestures about dilation fields and Weir cut him off in his prime!
You can almost hear the Kirk comments from off screen.
"It was only like a couple of hours for us..." Wow, not even McKay's that insensitive

Critical Mass

Well, there's no point in being in charge unless you can order other people to the Kid Planet.
Rodney has spent far too long hanging out with Sheppard. They're sharing hand signals.
I can't speak Czech, but I'm absolutely certain that was very rude.
Ooh! Crossover! An Agent Barrett crossover as well
As if the Atlanteans haven't got enough problems.
You just know Sheppard asked Cadman to stay behind because it makes Rodney all flustered.
Carson has perfected that 'I have no idea who you're talking about, but I will pretend I do' look.
I feel cheated of valuable Atlantis minutes.
Dr. Lee's pitching this meeting at an impressively low level. You can tell he's briefed the military before
It's the twilight bark! Dr Lee picked the wrong audience for the animated puppy references.
I'm absolutely sure you're not supposed to wear earrings whilst on active duty.
Kavanagh gets the strange feeling he's talking to an alien version of McKay. And the alien version of McKay is doing a great job of completely ignoring him as well
Unnamed Canadian Control Room Guy needs a sit down in a quite corner with a cup of sweet tea. Also, it's about time he was given a name.
Does anyone else get the sneaking suspicion they wrote this entire episode in order to make Joe Flanigan say "There's a bomb on Atlantis"?
I very nervous of any soup that you have to practise
Stick-fighting and tuttle root-handling are obviously mutually exclusive tasks.
These Athosians have an awful lot of rituals. Didn't Halling want to do an entirely different one involving tea when Teyla was going to die in '38 Minutes'?
Oh god, there's going to be ceremonial dress and singing isn't there? I can just tell.
If we get to see her doing those two tasks at the same time, I will be so impressed.
The technician is just shouting random words until someone pays attention.
Hang on. The Goa'uld wanted to keep the Wraith away from Earth so they're attracting them to Atlantis? That doesn't make a whole lot of sense.
Someone's going to have to break the news to Rodney that the thing that came up involved Carson getting laid
You can't help but hear the implicit "Also, no one likes you".
Bless! He went home because he has no friends!
Kavanagh is making some valid points.
Weir needs to be careful about criticising the 'running and hiding' plan. Not only is it an extremely effective way of staying alive, but it's also exactly what Atlantis is doing as we speak.
John's spent time thinking that up. He's very proud of his complex water-containment metaphor
Rodney is both ecstatically pleased and petrified.
How does he know Zelenka went off-world?
Elizabeth won't torture him, but I'm assuming he's met Ronon at some point?
Carson has an extremely dubious grasp of medical ethics; he won’t allow a woman to die peacefully at the time of her choosing, but he will blithely experiment on small children and feed terminal patients to the Wraith.
Ronon looks so happy at finally being useful.
Look at Weir skilfully back away and let others make the morally dubious decisions.
Rodney has appointed himself Official Reader Of Countdowns In A Dramatic Fashion
That's a nice dress.
Ronon has such a flair for the dramatic.
I'm going to pretend this isn’t happening okay? I was just starting to warm to Teyla and now they've gone and ruined it.
The problem with leaving heavily emotional scenes to be carried by music, is that while one person may think that the singing is tender and moving, another might see it as a load of poorly mimed fake Oirish folksy clap-trap. It's a dangerous choice to make
This really is a strange juxtaposition of A and B plot.
Caldwell suddenly regrets pissing off Sheppard quite so much.
Goa'uld!
I do love the way John uses Ronon to do his dirty work.
When I'm dying I would like to be left in peace and quiet with my DVD controller, and perhaps some snacks. If anyone tries to sing, I'm removing them from my will.
Rodney's actually rather enthusiastic about beaming out parts of people's brains
Ha! That's made Rodney's year.
I'd be surprised if there weren't already pictures posted in the labs.
The line between occasionally beating people up for information and becoming a race that survives by sucking the life force from others isn't as fine as Elizabeth thinks

Grace Under Pressure

Well, if it wasn't bothering him before, it's going to be bothering him now.
None of those theories were actually expounded by scientists. They're popular misconceptions
That's complete rubbish! Columbus had nothing to do with figuring out the world was round!
You have to admire Griffin's bloody mindedness. If there was one person you shouldn't pick on whom to expound your theories on the hopelessness of scientific endeavour, it's McKay.
Will they not just go round in circles?
Zelenka sounds so calm until he realises Rodney is alive. "If he's alive, he'll demand I do something!"
Rodney hadn't quite understood what "into the ocean" meant until then.
Well, now would be the time to panic.
Wow, Rodney's complete incomprehension at Griffen's sacrifice is palpable.
You wouldn't think Rodney had the kind of mind set which would appreciate calming visualisation.
I'm not sure I'd want to be able to see anything if I was sinking very fast to the bottom of an ocean.
You can't expect 12,000 feet of water to dampen Sheppard's unfailing optimism.
It's so completely in character for Rodney to talk to himself and berate inanimate objects that you don’t even notice he's the only person on screen.
Let me get this straight: Zelenka just worked out that Rodney is somewhere in the ocean? Rodney's right, he may well die before Zelenka comes up with a plan.
"Oh no, my inanimate friend, for I have been struck upon the head!" may be my favourite line of the season so far.
Well, it does look like a John Sheppard kind of a plan.
All of John's strategies are based on sandwich fillings.
I do like the way Elizabeth has accepted the role of John as Rodney's babysitter.
It's incredibly sweet how Rodney is really quite patient and kind to animals, even huge sea monsters who might be about to eat him.
Why didn’t I notice Zelenka had stubble before now?
Sam! In pink! That's so how Rodney thinks of her.
"It's romping which came to mind, not your brains, blondie." It's SG-1 McKay! As much as I love Atlantis Rodney, I still miss the original McKay a little.
I love the little Rodney mannerisms Sam adopts.
Zelenka can't swim? Surely one of the prerequisites for joining an expedition to find the Lost City of Atlantis is that everyone can swim?
Wow, Elizabeth demonstrates exemplary usage of the guilt trip. Even my mother would be impressed.
You'd imagine that Rodney has his own memorial service planned already. It's not something he'd leave in the hands of others.
I love that Sam represents Rodney's secure and optimistic side. I also love that Rodney needs to manifest that side, not necessarily because he doesn't believe that anyone would bother to rescue him, but because he thinks no one is capable of rescuing him. It's a subtle difference, but one which is quintessentially Rodney.
Ooooh, that was a very cool submersion. Although, you do have to wonder *why* they haven't tried this before now.
People who purposefully aren't helping are the worst
You know, I have these kind of conversations with myself all the time.
You've got to admire any man who thinks that a women dressed in pink with her breasts hanging out isn't dressed provocatively. It's Sam's assessing glance down her cleavage that makes it special
Oh! He's so happy that she finds him physically attractive.
Rodney is so surprised to find out he is indeed petty.
Okay, I'm going to say this only because they've just broached the subject, but we're basically watching Rodney McKay masturbate right now. On prime time TV. Let's take a moment to consider that shall we? Do I have to consider Rodney masturbating? Because I think on balance I'd rather not
AT is looking very good for a woman who's just had a baby.
Rodney pretty much lives to ruin the moment.
I feel the creature if being unfairly maligned on account of its size. It may not be monstrous at all
Sea monster! Investigate right now!
"You of all people, should be able to keep up." It's depressing when your own subconscious gets confused.
"He was a brave man." Wow, McKay is extraordinarily honest with himself there. DH, yet again, manages to take us from the ridiculous to the heartbreaking in the space of three seconds.
It's oddly fitting that Sheppard would represent Rodney's pessimism.
He apologised to the sea monster!
That was one of the best and most subtle character studies I have ever seen. It had none of the heavy-handedness we're used to in Stargate, ('A Hundred Days', 'Grace' and 'Meridian', take a bow). We learned so many things about Rodney's insecurities and personality, without ever being told them. More importantly, McKay learned them at the same time, and you know he's not going to change a single bit as a result. It's comforting.

The Tower

Rodney doesn't mind if other people meet with the agricultural people, it's just he doesn't see why he should have to.
Everyone puts on their "be nice to the people with the potential ZPM" faces.
I'm missing the beginning! That must have been the shortest ad break in the history of Sky TV
Ducks (All I have written in my notebook is the word 'ducks'. I'm hoping it makes sense when you're watching the episode)
I take it he means 'demonstrating' in the 'blowing things up to impress people' way
Just because he doesn't have a reason to lie, it doesn't necessarily mean he's not lying.
I do love that Rodney's criticism of class structure isn’t so much the moral abhorrence of blood succession, but the fact he doesn't see why anyone else but him should be worshipped.
Sheppard's P90 doesn't seem quite so effective now...
Ronon has plenty of other knives.
They have their own Atlantis! I want my own Atlantis!
John's getting ideas for decoration. He'll be buying fabric as soon as they're back off the mission.
They made McKay and Ronon hold hands! I do love Ronon and Rodney's reluctance to hold hands.
There's a zither! And lutes! I'm prepared to forgive a slightly dodgy episode almost anything if it contains ironic lutes
John's just desperately trying to see if they have the ingredients for a turkey sandwich.
He's clearly someone with an eye for a military man
I'm searching desperately for a joke about dark and filthy things, but it's not happening
It's funny how starvation can often temper people's pride. They're also a very hungry people. It's amazing how little pride counts for in the face of a Mars bar
Teyla defended the culture of Planet KidKill, now she's annoyed at this one?
Hmmm, I wonder why John Sheppard never notices the pretty women throwing themselves at him? John's just the kind of man who is constantly surprised by naked women
Being in charge of official secretary in charge of inbreeding can't be the best job in the world
Somehow the idea of selectively breeding Sheppards is incredibly funny
And in exchange for this medical help, is Carson going to try out some experimental drug he's designed in his spare time?
It seems perfectly correct that Rodney would be a Blackadder fan.
"Not cursed or haunted..." Still hell of a long way down though
It looks like Carson is going to play a few relaxing CDs.
Look at all the puddlejumpers!
Drones! Wow, this is an entire episode deigned to create a plot device for the season finale, isn't it?
John's offering to give it up for the future of the monarchy?
That was a superb slide from Carson there.
They have a barred cell with a chaise-longue in it?
What amazingly inept soldiers.
Put the poisoned knife down slowly...
The 'could' is the important word in that sentence
John would so have taken the King offer.

The Long Goodbye

Nice shot of the ridiculously attractive people just to illustrate the point.
Says the guy who spent his alien induced hallucination watching an episode of the Outer Limits.
I watch documentaries! And sport. Lots and lots of sport.
Aw, bless! Ronon now has this image of TV shows as being fights to the death.
A coffin? Ronon's very much looking on the bright side there
They've got Caldwell back in service quickly considering he only had a Goa'uld beamed out of his head three weeks ago. It's taken me longer than that to recover from a sprained wrist
Of course it's necessary! He was a Goa'uld.
Stasis again! 10,000 years ago this galaxy suddenly discovered the wonders of stasis, and every burgeoning civilisation was trying it out. Kind of like the SinclairC5, except with longer term consequences.
Shut the pod!
I love Rodney's attempt to deny responsibility even before anyone thinks about blaming him
"She can't be well, she's showing clear symptoms of extremely bad grammar..."
There are two colonels in the room and neither of them thought to call a security team sooner?
John doesn't sound very sorry.
Rodney's rather disturbed by Weir's calmness at being inhabited by another consciousness. It makes his blind panic at the same thing seem like rather an over-reaction
Okay, this I don't get. If Phoebus is so determined to kill the other pod-guy, why doesn't she just command them to switch the pod off? Why go through the whole beaming-him-into-John charade?
Weir just thinks it's a good opportunity to get laid.
Wow. John caught on to that sexual subtext quickly. He's usually appalling at that
Rodney's never going to let John forget this one.
Carson has *some* degree of confidence? How much of a degree exactly? Carson often says he's confident about things, he's rarely right though.
John either shows a remarkable faith in Rodney by giving him his gun, or he does it because there's a chance it might be fired at him in a minute so he picked the guy with the worse aim.
Oh, this so isn’t going to go well.
Oh, there's subtle and evil planning going on between the consciousness people here
They missed a wonderful opportunity for a nice Rodney/Carson moment during that kiss. A shot of them deliberately failing in any way to make eye contact would have been good
Rodney seems remarkably keen to let Elizabeth and Sheppard have sex
Oh! Lorne has new hair! Lorne has good new hair. *Strokes Major Lorne's new hair*
Major Lorne's terribly obliging
Why is no one patting Rodney to see if he's alive?
Lorne got taken down by a girl!
Of course Rodney wants to get all chain-of command! Although, actually he's right. He would be next in command because it's a civilian operation. He gets to decide if it's a military situation or not. Let's all just think about that for a while shall we? Rodney McKay is one step away from being in charge of an entire galaxy...
Rodney actually shot John! John will be so proud.
Smallville take note. *That* is good CGI
Yep, that'll be one of them near the power room.
Intuition? Teyla's answer is intuition?
Wow, these three should never be in charge of anything, ever.
Ronon's surely not that stupid is he?
Wow, there goes my 'Ronon's brighter than he looks' argument. This is remarkably foolish behaviour on Ronon's part
TH is having so much fun. I'd demand at least one episode in which I got to run and shoot things, too.
Rodney really only cares about the ZPM.
They shot Ronon!
"He's screaming in my head right now." Joe Flanigan can be really freaking scary when he wants to be.
Perhaps it would be a good idea to arm the medical team?
I'm actually oddly attached to Ronon.
If it helps, the Ethosians are usually pretty well stocked with candles
"I'm tracking Dr Weir. Also, I'm alerting her to my position by whispering really loudly."
Those guns that light up are a really stupid idea.
In a smug and self-satisfied way I'm rather enjoying watching Ronon and Teyla get their arses kicked
Ooooh! Night vision!John.
Ooooh! Pretty.
That sudden light should have blinded night-vision!John
They've managed to restore lighting everywhere but the control room?
Damn. I would have paid good money to see Teyla get trapped in a door
I would have expected Rodney to secretly prioritise his code within the first week of arrival.
Why do they need life support when they're on the surface?
She'd doesn’t really need to secure him, he's trapped in a door.
They have a fire suppressant system that kills people? "Well, we'll stop you from dying in a horrible ball of fire by spraying you with this poisonous gas!"
That was an oddly timed shot of Rodney
Space marines! I'm sorry, that's just such a great McKay-ism I had to say it out loud. I am so completely in love with the idea of Space Marines I can barely express it. *Space Marines*!
Oh, watch Caldwell neatly sidestep the moment of moral responsibility! "I'm not going to tell you what to do, but I am going to hint at it, and then make you take responsibility.”
Teyla has disturbingly few qualms about blowing away the entire command staff of Atlantis
It's good you can rely on Sheppard's willingness to shoot his commanding officers.
Where did this dark and calculating side of Teyla suddenly appear from? I'm very much in favour of it, because it's the way her character should have been from the start but it's still rather a surprise to see it now
John's either playing Solitaire, or he's sending apologetic e-mails. Elizabeth is trying to have a heart-to-heart with a man clearly engaged in a game of Tetris
Well, he's going to get hell from Ronon later on, he may as well have a little fun now.
I will bet money on the fact McKay didn't say that. There's definitely more than a touch of paraphrasing going on there
They've got special paperwork for this kind of thing by now. It's Form E47b- Report on Alien Possession Of A Commanding Officer (Sexual Situations)

Coup d'Etat

Yes, yes, we get the message; this is a Genii episode.
Major Lorne was under fire!
Dr Lindsey doesn't look too happy at being guarded by McKay.
Not Lorne! They can't take away Lorne!
No! They haven't killed Major Lorne! That body is a plant. It has to be a plant and I will remain convinced it is a plant no matter how much evidence they present to the contrary
Ronon Dex- Risk Assessor extraordinaire
I bet that's the highlight of Lorne's week
If you need to take a military escort with you, I'm not sure you should be teaching them anything.
You can picture Rodney in the background, "ZPM! ZPM! I'm interested in the ZPM!"
That's an excellent Atlantis screen saver. I need an Atlantis screensaver. I used to have a similar SGC one but it got lost in a reformat and I never did find it again
Do they know the ZPM actually works?
It's really not fair to get John's hope up about the flying city.
Ronon is responsible for interviewing the traumatised scientist?
Threatening!Sheppard is quite a revelation. I never knew he had it in him
Yes! I knew it! In fact I was so sure he wasn't dead that I in no way did a little dance when I found out he wasn't
Weir's very invested in the use of removable jewellery as identification
Carson has the look of a man with no actual work to do.
"What could they possibly want with Lorne"? I've got rather a long list of ideas
He doesn't harbour ill will? Well that's good of him, considering it was him that was part of the invasionary force.
Someone, somewhere, needs to reconsider the policy of sending Ronon to do anything other than hit people.
If Elizabeth considers being tied to a chair as an olive branch, I'd hate to see her interpretation of an act of war.
John needs a t-shirt with "I Could Have Been In Mensa" on it. And come to think of it, so do I
Well, of course it's not yours, you fool. It's a *clue*!
I think John just takes him along for the entertainment.
Why on earth would they do that?
Yet. They haven't tried to kill you yet.
Does the word 'trap' mean nothing to these people?
Major Lorne made a wanted poster! Those are some lovely shots, and a lovely selection of potential captives too. Someone out there has some interesting plans afoot!
There's going to be trouble if it turns out John's worth more than Rodney
Quick! Everybody try and look innocuous!
They're very smartly uniformed for a band of rebels
Why do John and Rodney have yellow tinted glasses and the others clear ones? In fact, why do any of them have glasses?
Bless, after seven years, Ronon thinks he deserves to be on the list. Told you there'd be trouble with the list
How on earth (or not earth as it happens) would someone know that all those people had the gene?
It seemed a fairly accurate signal to me. Although, of course, saying it at the same time ruins the point of using the signal at all.
You know you're in trouble when you're faced with a man eating fruit in a crisis. It's the intergalactic sign of calm one-upmanship
Look at Rodney desperately resist touching the ZPM.
"Why would you do this? Carson just suffers from this bizarre compulsion to continual medicate people. He's seeking treatment
He's working on gene therapy? When? In all the spare time he gets off from planning a coup? Also, they've only recently discovered nuclear power, I doubt they've had a lot of time to discover DNA.
Can we see the categorically not dead in any way Major Lorne some time soon?
Ooh! We can! Lorne! Slightly grubby and sarcastic Lorne! And he's all locked up and unshaven... We need much more of ruffled and unshaven Major Lorne
Surely they'd save McKay till last? Otherwise they've got rid of the two most important assets.
You can't expect Rodney to be bright when he's just regained consciousness
Best maybe, but also extremely unethical. Did anyone else notice that he said there were 'experimental' techniques he could use? There's a reason they test these things on mice first.
There's a hidden passage! It's not a proper lair without a hidden passage
"My day is far from over... since I still have to consolidate my sudden overthrow of the established government. I'm hoping to be done by tea."
I would like to thank the SGA writers for giving me the chance to witness the mayhem as thousands of American SGA fans trying to work out how to say 'Coup d'Etat'.

Michael

Hmmm. *Is suspicious* Everyone looks very shifty. Also, since when do they have private infirmary rooms with public viewing galleries?
There are very few legitimate drugs which are fluorescent yellow. If he was diabetic, wouldn't he have died when he was with the Wraith?
A rare slip into Canadian by Carson then, that 'trauma' was all wrong.
Teyla never seems to realise that people just like her for her breasts.
The fact we are yet to see McKay gives away that this is a rouse. There's no way they'd rely on him to lie convincingly.
I do love John's dismissive snort. You can tell there have been a lot of arguments about attending mandatory psychiatric evaluations.
John has the look of a guy who knows it going to end with him chasing someone with a gun.
They gave him a cowboy hat! That's remarkable attention to detail considering they've failed to provide any other form of convincing history for him. At the risk of a slight spoiler, how did they know he was going to have a Texan accent when he woke up?
McKay McKay's having blue jello trauma!
Somebody stop him babbling...
This seems excessively debilitating for a sparring session. I've come out of fencing practice with bruised knuckles, but that's usually just accidental, deliberately kneeing someone in the stomach is something else entirely
Perhaps they should have locked Ronon up.
Teyla needs to get some better hair bands.
Carson's response to everything is sedation.
They didn’t even make an original name?
Look at Carson's gloriously twee tourist calendar! I bet he has a fluffy haggis tucked away somewhere too
I bet he has to spend two hours trying to find a downloadable codec file before he can view those
He hasn't just experimented. He's *catalogued* it all. That's so wonderfully sinister.
See, I'd start with Day One.
Whoever Michael is, he has excellent pausing reflexes. *I* couldn't stop tape on a shot like that without practice
Just when you think the dubious morality of the Atlantis team was an aberration, you find out they have a secret lair
I'm not even going to start explaining why that retro-virus is not going to work.
Yes, that's exactly what they're saying.
Well, at least John has actual reasons. You get the impression that Carson, Teyla and Elizabeth genuinely believe they're doing him a favour.
And then what? What exactly are they going to do with the galaxy of amnesiac humans needing daily medication?
It's possible Ronon has some issues to work out. In fact, they all do. Why on earth didn’t they send more than one psychiatrist?
They're still making him go to therapy? That seems excessively mean.
*Now* Carson objects! I'm really not convinced about the characterisation of Carson as the sweet, reliable, caring, slightly bumbling doctor with a sideline in non-consensual medical experiments
Isn’t the Alpha Site supposed to be safe?
So, when McKay was overly confident and carried out an action for the benefit of Atlantis with the sanction of Elizabeth he was bawled out in public and forced to crawl to everyone and apologise, but when Carson does it, it's okay?
Maybe the Alpha Site has blue jello.
Yet again we see how truly useless Teyla's spidey-sense is.
Her stick training hasn't been a lot of use, either.
That's a very shiny DHD
Gee, ya think? Where did you think he was going you stupid woman?
They really need to learn not to trust Carson's predictions.
"We're going to need more fire power" – Oh, I wonder what they'll find next week.
Wow, that was exceptionally dark, and illustrates exactly why I love Atlantis.

Inferno

Wow. The last time I saw her she was having amazingly un-erotic sex with David Hewlett. That's going to throw me out for the whole of the episode.
Well, it blew up itself. Rodney just poked it a bit beforehand. "Do you have to keep bringing up that planet thing..?"
See, Rodney understands that he should be saying "I'd learn a lot from you", but he just can't bring himself to actually do it
Rodney has his laptop velcro-ed to his back! That's the coolest thing ever. I do love Rodney's easy access laptop, so he can brandish it in an emergency.
"To check for structural integrity." That was almost believable.
The Atlanteans didn't build the most attractive ships, did they?
Note the way that John is going back to keep an eye on Rodney, not the attractive woman.
You can't help but feel that this is one of those scenes they wrote to affirm John's heterosexual status, but they succeeded in not only making him incredibly gay, but also out and proud to his commanding officer.
"Heat beneath the surface." Was that a geologically based chat-up line?
She overrode the alarms!? What did she think the alarms were there for?
Shutting down the alarm is dumb but understandable. Shutting down the alarms and then ignoring all the flashing lights that suddenly appear truly is stupid
Rodney could have tried an "a lot" worse there
"Don't take this as a threat in any way... despite it sounding quite a lot like a threat"
I like Rodney's little pointy volcano mime
I love the slightly alarmed scientist in the background.
If the military commander wasn't coming up with military solutions, I'd be quite concerned. Although firing explosives into a volcano isn’t his best idea.
They really aren't getting it, are they?
Rodney has a volume control? John's been looking for that for months
You have to admit their timing's slightly suspicious
Don’t they have their own doctors? Why does Carson have to come? Other than so Paul McGillion can get paid?
Did Elizabeth just use the word 'facilitate'? She's been to far too many man-management seminars
Rodney has a list of names for things on his laptop.
In fifty years time, when they declassify the Atlantis programme, everyone is going to think it's just an elaborate Star Trek joke.
If John wasn't always standing in earshot, Rodney could be so much cooler. Well, a little bit cooler, anyway.
However the massive earthquakes and flows of molten lava are signs that the volcano is going to erupt. They don't need the cloud of ash to tell them that
A tunnel? Well that won't last the episode without collapsing
Rodney really is the only person to be forced kicking and screaming on a journey of self discovery.
Not completely undue doubt and suspicion
"Fumerol" is a fantastic word
Ah, Ronon has done something stupidly self-sacrificing and dangerous again hasn’t he?
John loves it when Rodney does this. As do we all.
Carson is so intending to leave without them.
They recovered from toxic gas poisoning nice and quickly
There's not much made of the fact that John has just decided to not try another rescue of Ronon and Teyla
"We could leave." I love the Asgard so much...
Why do they need to know the plan? Do they have any options to bring to the table?
"Not dying horribly" is an excellent then. What more of a then could you possibly want?
That can hurt!
Even Narina has picked up Rodney-induced-exasperation, and she's only known him for a couple of hours.
Well, none of them are doing anything, the least one of them could do is go and find some nail clippers.
I don't think I will ever forgive Sky for cutting the sound at this point.
Wow, Rodney is passing up a chance to be smug.
Or maybe it has something to do with the Wraith you let wander around Atlantis for a couple of weeks and then allowed to escape?
Not that I'm against massive explosions and space battles in any way, but I think they need to find a finale idea that doesn't involve the Wraith attacking Atlantis. Of course, there may be a twist that means this finale doesn't, which I'm not discounting, but since we all know the final finale will involve a massive Wraith attack and Rodney flying the city, it'd be nice to have some variation in the meantime

Allies

You'd really think the Athosians would have moved permanently by now.
I do love McKay and Sheppard trying to be in charge together. It's such a recipe for disaster.
Oh yeah, because if the Wraith say there's no harm, they must be telling the truth.
Don't say anything!
This is obviously a military situation, so why isn't Sheppard or Caldwell calling the shots?
Don't respond. It will not end well. This is a ploy and a trap and at no point will I be convinced otherwise
Oh dear, Weir is trying to lead by conference in a crisis.
Wow. That Wraith ship was incredibly cool.
Nice to see they've taken the opportunity provided by the full Wraith make-up to hire a cheaper actor
Over two years? We really should have had a shot of John looking guilty there.
Wow. The Wraith are going to eat the transformed humans aren't they? And the Atlanteans are going to let them.
It's a computer virus. Don't open it!
I like that the Atlanteans are completely backed into the corner here. They really don’t have a choice.
I have a wonderful image of Lorne trying to parallel park the Orion.
The downside other than the fact they're evil?
The 'w' word! Weaponisation! Okay, I had enough problems with the word weaponised.
Have they actually got anything to lose by giving the Wraith the virus? Can it be used against them in any way?
Teyla has finally grown some sense. I think I'm growing to like her.
What does he mean "What do you mean?"? Is John honestly naive enough to think the Wraith aren't planning something else?
I think Unnamed Canadian Control Room Guy (whose name I believe is Chuck, but mine is more precise) has had the most lines so far this episode.
That Wraith Queen is just admiring the decoration.
A Wraith civil war isn’t a bad thing at all.
Were Carson and Zelenka the most suitable people for this discussion?
"Aerosolised"? That may be even less of a word than "weaponised"
Okay, we need more Carson/Zelenka scenes, because that was very, very funny. Carson and Zelenka are underused as a comedy double act
As are McKay and Hermiod. They send McKay to work with Hermiod deliberately, don’t they?
And Michael is choosing soft furnishings... I'm sorry. I don’t know where I got this Wraith as Interior Decorators idea from, but I'm sticking with it.
Ronon's so refreshingly predictable.
And then..? They'll be back to Atlantis to kill you all.
Elizabeth's very sceptical about the possibility of John having grandchildren
Carson is a little over-invested in the aerosol idea.
Wow, that's... they're standing back and watching! They don’t even turn away.
Ah, now Carson would like to exercise caution.
John just made an orgasm joke to his commanding officer!
"No matter how we rationalise this..." Well, that's taken Carson a while
He's sedating the command staff? Well it wouldn’t be a finale if one of their leading figures wasn't hopped up on some kind of drug.
Carson's very free with his drug supply.
Rodney really can't halt that anger, can he?
Wow, watch Unnamed Canadian Control Room Guy roll across the floor!
Is Rodney ever afraid to ask?
Well, now Zelenka isn't going to be able to concentrate for the images of Wraith sex.
They sent Rodney to a hive ship? Rodney agreed to go to a hive ship?
I do love Rodney demanding Ronon apologise to the Wraith.
Rodney and Ronon: Possibly the least effective diplomatic force in the universe.
Rodney's learning to control that impulse to correct everyone. It takes a glare from Ronon and the presence of a Wraith, but it's still progress.
You can tell Rodney and John have had so much fun thinking up this plan. I bet there were drawings.
Dewraithified is a brilliant word.
But it was a great plan! It had steps and everything!
They really are spending way too much time together.
What? No! They can't let Rodney go to a hive ship again. Don't they know there's only nine minutes left?
Rodney is both brave and stealthy; when did that come about?
Did Rodney just give John an encouraging pat? John thought he'd made the 'no public touching' rule clear.
Here's where everything goes horribly wrong...
Shields weren't at maximum before? They went into this situation with no shielding? I know the Atlanteans have been forced into making some foolish decisions, but honestly sometimes they're just catastrophically stupid
John's on the Wraith ship isn’t he?
Caldwell's just got to go tell Elizabeth that he's lost her entire executive staff
What did I say about the virus?
Well, at least they don’t have to torture McKay for it.
They're going to make Rodney a Wraith. They're going to tweak the virus so it works the other way and make Rodney a Wraith. *Makes official prediction as to plotline of season three* No! No! They are not allowed to Wraithify Rodney. I refuse to spend next season attracted to a Wraith.

Atlantis Index