The Fringedwellers' Guide

JL Index

Author Key

JLA-Season One
JLA-Season Two
JLU-Season Three
JLU-Season Four
JLU- Season Five

  

Season Two

Go To Episode

Part One

• It must be hard to command respect from your crew when you're dressed as one of Santa's Little Helpers
• This is going to be another of these episodes where we're meant to know who all these people are, isn't it? Are we supposed to know who any of the people are? *feels ashamed at lack of comic knowledge*
• See, it’s always that final act of mercy that causes the problems.
• Especially not a telepath who can’t actually read her mind.
• The anti-life equation sounds pointless.
• No one who isn’t fire proof, anyway.
• That’s an elaborate lie. I hope this was written before they knew the plot of 'Starcrossed', otherwise that's an incredibly callous thing for Hawkgirl to do
• So, Batman doesn’t fare much better.
• I like Braniac. He’s less insane than most of the villains.
• Notice Batman doesn’t object to Superman wanting to destroy the planet.
• Yes, that’s exactly what he’s saying.
• I want to see Superman getting wound up like a tin soldier! Why didn't we see that?
• I like Batman’s very direct approach to other people’s emotional problems. It’s all the more special because it comes from a guy who dresses up as a giant bat.
• I like the big dragon shaped cannons. More armies should make their tanks look like big dragons
• Exchanging sons seems like a silly idea.
• Have Batman's ears always been that long?
• Monster spit! He's never going to get the smell of that out of his uniform. Batman is still cool even when he’s covered in dinosaur spit. 
• This is more of a literal far above
• Just how long is Batman's grapple anyway?
• Look at Batman trying to look dignified whilst being carried.
• Did he just smack Wonder Woman?
• Where is Flash?
• Okay that beam was *close*. One inch higher up and he really would have been the last son of Krypton
• I imagine Clark would be quite a soft landing.
• I want a planet in the shape of my head. It's not the most subtle shape for a hideout though, although admittedly they Justice League didn't notice it

Part Two

• Yeah, let's all step on the mysterious floating platform, why not... It's not like it could be any kind of trap
• Kal-El's mother is scary
• Was Clark about to say "Hell" then?
• Watch Batman lean to peer round Orion there
• New genesis - Well, that’s just cheating.
• Not enough people have stratagems
• I would think this is the first, last and only time Batman will ever let Superman take charge.
• Why didn’t the Justice League think of that?
• How has he got Superman's cloak to hang down the back of that?
• But it’s also full of cake so it’s not all bad.
• I wonder if J'onn's hand is stuck in there
• J’onn is only ever really having fun when he’s hitting people.
• Batman tries so hard to find a proper solution, but ends up just hitting it really hard. "Off switch, where's the off switch..."
• I've got a "glutton for punishment" joke, but I'm fairly sure we'll be thrown off the server if I use it
• Clark is surprisingly vindictive when he's pissed off
• That was a nice use of angles. You have to admire a supervillain with a basic knowledge of geometry
• If Batman had eyes, he’d be rolling them about now. - Nobody tells Batman what to do.
• Why is J'onn bandaging over Hawkgirl's clothing?
• He is most of the time, though; that’s what really annoys Superman.

Part One

• Are we just meant to assume that Lex has escaped from prison?
• I love Lex in his little flying suit!
• Poor Hawkgirl, that was part of her plan.
• Endangering a liner, such a classic distraction
• Haven't the unconcerned-looking people on the liner noticed the huge, airborne battle going on above them?
• That’s Sam’s prostitute!
• "Lex! You're bleeding! All over my new office!"
• Lex is impressively sweaty.
• That was unnecessarily scary of J’onn. Although I suppose that’s his raison d’etre.
• Can you really just weld a ship closed?
• What’s Flash doing during all this? Do they have a PS2 in the back to keep him out of the way?
• Why hasn’t J’onn tried reading everyone’s minds before? Surely you’d spend your Saturday nights revelling in other people’s misery.
• Did J’onn just do an impression of Superman?
• Oh, it's a good, faceless grey robot
• Telepathy isn’t half as useful as the ability to turn yourself into a dragon.
• Was that MR saying the "bald" line? Or am I just starting to randomly hear his voice now?
• There’s a scary amount of chemistry between Lex and the morphing grey thing.
• Amazo is so sweet! "Will you take care of me now?"
• It takes a certain kind of criminal mastermind to enslave a powerful entity and then use it to get things off the top shelf.
• You have to admire the persistence of the guards who keep shooting, despite the fact it’s making now difference.
• The mini-hand is rather unsettling
• How heavy is Amazo? Because he made the ground shake when he landed, but didn't bend the flimsy-looking railing he jumped from
• Amazo even went "Harrrgh!" when he changed into Hawkgirl!
• How big does something have to be an empire?
• Batman uses his cunning investigative powers.
• I love the way Batman says "close..." there. he manages to be insulting and insinuating simultaneously
• J’onn is a deeply disturbed person.
• Surely his head is now filled with the thoughts of squirrels. That can’t help.
• Whoever's doing that bandaging is really bad at it
• How do they know he's an android?
• There's Flash out for the count again
• I’m a little disappointed Amazo didn’t grow those little flash things on his ears. He didn't get leggier or grow breasts when he impersonated Diana either
• He did a Flash impression!
• Have we ever been told what’s actually wrong with Lex? Or are we just supposed to assume it’s the Kryptonite cancer?
• Why has Bats parked directly under a streetlamp? That's not very stealthy
• Superman has stakeout coffee!
• I wonder what those two chat about during a stakeout.
• Batman could go, he's not going to give Amazo any exceptional powers, unless Amazo can duplicate the ability to be dryly sarcastic in the face of danger
• Well, that’s not under construction any more.

Part Two

• Superman should learn to listen to people’s advice.
• Oooh, nice headbutt.
• Does Batman just carry Kryptonite around with him? The knowledge that Batman keeps Kryptonite on him at all times is both disturbing and intriguing.
• No one is as scary as Batman.
• It’s a collapsible suit!
• Hawkgirl slowly realises she’s checking the sewers.
• He’s talking to a wolf! There are all those thoughts swimming in J'onn's head, and all that wolf is thinking is "Can I eat you; can't I eat you?"
• Great, now GL's just ruined all the research they were trying to save
• The really good coffee?
• He can scan Superman closely enough to duplicate his powers, but he can't tell that that isn't Lex? It leans like Lex. Now that *was* MR's voice
• ‘I had dinner on the table an hour ago...’
• I love the idea of Flash being a corrupting influence on a giant android
• Well, isn’t it likely they have a sociopathic, telepathic alien in their midst.
• Flash can tell who it is from the hand?
• They really ought to check it is Dr Ivo.
• Batman's always right, you'd have thought Superman would have worked that out by now
• Lex makes an impressive attempt at martyring himself. That's the most shameless piece of emotional manipulation I've ever seen, even from Lex
• What is this kid doing in the middle of the woods in her pyjamas anyway?
• J’onn is unlikely to make the girl feel better.
• "Don't be afraid..." At that point you'd panic, wouldn't you?
• Look at Flash repeatedly hitting him, even though it’s doing no good whatsoever.
• I think the big hammer was overkill. Poor Flash
• Ah, the telepathy... That was clever. Lex’s mind is not a pretty place to be.
• Try pressing the button again, Lex
• They should do what Flash says more often.
• Lex’s fear of public nudity gets the better of him. So which of the League has he assimilated the urge to strip Lex down to his underwear from?

Part One

• He broke Superman!
• Lex is being very magnanimous, I suspect something.
• Evil people are so good at naming things.
• I’m fairly certain there are laws against testing these things on prisoners.
• Why is the ESP machine on tracks?
• Why does he want ESP so much?
• I always expect the guard to say "Just kidding!"
• Does this prison only have the one guard?
• "I'm on my knees scrubbing a toilet, how happy can I be?"
• There's something very funny about the doctor getting knocked out by his own award
• Flash tried that with Batman once and got his arm broken. I think Flash is being quite restrained. I'd be tempted to hang things on him, like a kind of Martian Buckaroo
• Unexpected humour from J’onn.
• I'd like to be able to sleep standing up
• Firefly is not an impressive villain.
• You'd think the police would have come armed with some extinguishers, or a big bucket of sand
• I have a joke about Batman’s ability to ride supervillans, but I suspect you have to be in my head to appreciate it.
• Oooh, practical application of the fire triangle.
• "You should have someone check the laundry... I'd go myself, but my shoulders are far too wide to fit down the chute"
• What exactly *was* Batman's point?
• Rick is almost comically rugged
• Dr. Destiny is an excellent name, even if it does make him sound slightly like a teen-agony columnist
• "I heard you knocking... Also the sudden appearance of a huge metal box in the middle of the corridor seemed a little suspicious."
• Copperhead picked the wrong guy to team up with.
• J’onn displays yet another new power.
• Flash rather asked for that one.
• You have to admire Hawkgirl pointing out the lack of logic in Copperhead's plan. "Didn't really think this through..."
• I wonder if they have special Grundy-sized restraints on hand
• Triple Mocha Frappuchino.... I could so go for one of them right now. I think Flash's coffee fetching abilities are an under-rated part of his powers. How does Flash get the coffee made so quickly? You can’t hurry a cappuccino maker.
• Flash looks so cute sleeping on the floor

Part Two

• Flash makes an oddly competent baby-sitter
• It's a dog
• Snacks are a solution to everything.
• You have to love the thought process that leads Flash to check if the boy is French.
• Flash's unconscious just gets stranger and stranger... And what is it with these guys and dream frogs? Did they had a particularly scaring evil frog encounter that we've never been told about?
• Dream!Flash lives in Flash HQ.
• That's a very badly animated pigeon
• "It's a dream!" The giant fridge-frog didn't tip him off?
• His little lightning bolts must be stabbing Hawkgirl in the leg every time he wriggles
• It sounds like Batman often rings Clark with that request.
• I like Lois' dress
• Clark must go through so many alarm clocks
• All the Justice League have such serious psychological issues they should not be allowed to be in charge of anything.
• Where does Bats get all these stimulants from? And how did he get a comatose Clark to take them?
• Have they considered starting a fried breakfast? Nobody can sleep through the smell of cooking bacon
• What was the headline that pushed the escape of several minor supervillains into "Other News"?
• How have they attached the monitoring devices through Superman's t-shirt?
• Superman's dream is actually horrific, isn't it?
• Animated Smallville has mountains
• The animated Kents hide the spaceship in a box
• Why was someone convicted of a fairly minor crime in the same prison as some serious supervillains?
• I'm not entirely sure of the mechanics of their little trip into everybody else's subconscious
• Has Batman actually passed his driving test. *sudden image of Batman learning to parallel park*
• I love Batman’s emergency coffee stop.
• Is Flash looking inside himself a good idea? Oh Flash, "...and then?"
• Does Batman have that on tape? Batman has this station on preset? That's rather worrying, although I like the fact that he installed a radio-cassette in the Batmobile
• I spent hours after watching this humming 'Frere Jaqcues' in a slightly sinister manner
• Is J'onn not being able to get in to Hawkgirl's dream a reference to him not being able to read her mind?
• I think that's what my mind looks like inside. Lots of bizarre stairways going nowhere
• Batman’s ears are very long. There are, aren't they? Flash's jaw is a slightly strange shape as well, I wonder if there was a different animation team on this ep.
• Batman snores! That's incredibly cute. No one’s ever going to tell Batman he snores.

Part One

• Does it actually say 'Wonder Woman' on the invitation?
• Why doesn't Wonder Woman have a secret identity?
• Bruce is just too cool.
• This Bruce isn't nearly as sexy out of the cape. Which I think is a shame. Although it's a relief to see him out of the horrible brown suit
• Permission, no. *Gun* Yes
• If I did that I'd end up ripping my dress up to the armpits and have to save the party while trying not to show the whole of Paris my bra
• I wish that sort of thing happened to me at parties.
• Ha! I love Bruce standing in the background, eating nibbles, and letting everyone else do the saving for a change.
• Diana has practised breaking helicopters. I want to break a helicopter. IN a good, saving the world kind of way, not in an "oops" way
• I love Princess Audrey, "Several, if it can be arranged..."
• Do you think Batman checks out these places first so he can find the best spot to stand for that dramatic silhouette?
• Poor masked criminal; any of the other Justice Leaguers and he's have been fine. I say again. How cool is he?
• I think they're probably paid to approve.
• You can tell Audrey is mid-European, because she peppers her speech with both French *and* German
• I have a sudden urge to find out if that is the actual Russian word for 'poop'.
• 'Look what I've found'; some incredibly gay looking men.
• Wonder Woman goes for blondes. Who'd have thought?
• This is a very romantic Eiffel tower scene. There's hair-stroking and everything
• Batman just sits in Diana's apartment when she's not there?
• Batman must have found a very efficient morning paper. They only just got back!
• Savage means 'persistent', not 'insistent'. How can you fear a villain with such an abysmal vocabulary?
• Yes, she did.
• No one who says "Excellent" like that can be good
• Diana's such a forgiving person.
• Diana's mother was dating in Ancient Greece, someone reaching their century won't seem that unlikely
• I don't want to hear that either!
• Why is the Announcer at NASA English?
• I think I'd like to be a cocktail assassin.
• Have they checked for the records of the intermediate Savage to make sure they're correct?
• Batman would never do investigative work dressed as Bruce. He sits around in the costume even if no one else is around.
• I do like their Wonder Woman Cam
• He's just Shriek, but without the purple-mohicaned giggly sidekick

Part Two

• Yie! I'm not sure if I'd be freaked or delighted to wake up to that
• There's an international law about wedding guests? They go to places uninvited all the time!
• Of course Batman's coming.
• I bet there was a panic at the dressmaker's last night
• Do Princesses get regnal numbers?
• I'm a bit disappointed he doesn't have a special bat-parachute
• If I ever get married, I want a member of the Justice League to interrupt it. If ever my wedding is interrupted, I want it to be by a tank
• Did she just usurp her father?
• 'Here you are dear, I got you mainland Europe for our anniversary'. Well, I'd be impressed.
• Amassing military and political power is rather an end in itself. You don't do it for anything
• See, any man with an underground control centre would win my heart.
• They cut away just before Bats switches over to the football
• There's an international crisis and the person you contact is Flash?
• "The Two Johns", there's a spin-off I'd watch
• I think "Bats on the other line" deserves to be a metaphor
• All of this explanation is lost on Flash.
• He's not on Earth, and not on ground
• He has actual items! On separate cards! And they're numbered...
• Does Bats have a direct personal link with Flash?
• Try and crash into the rail gun
• I love that Vandal actually has a check list.
• It took him a *millennium* to realise he was immortal?
• The Justice League's premiums must be fairly high anyway, at least until Batman has a word.
• Does Flash have any idea where he's going?
• Oh, an astronaut with an evil laugh
• Why doesn't Flash's head explode?
• "I demand to be set free!" Okay, how often does that actually work?
• Wow, it just did! I'm impressed
• 'You can start by letting me be in charge'.
• He's been alive since the dawn of time, and he seriously didn't expect people to plot against him?
• Did he just call Flash 'Honey'? I've got to be imagining that
• No one throws Flash into outer space without snack food and gets away with it.
• Flash has Repetitive Punching Injury
• Isn't Audrey's father still bed-ridden somewhere in that castle?
• "Honey, I want a divorce!"

Part One

• It's the giant rubber Green Lantern ball! Is there an entire race of round aliens out there?
• Perhaps they should have just gone to the dentist
• Do the Green Lantern Corps members have to have hands? Is there another piece of power jewellery for those who don't?
• The GL corps are such a humourless bunch.
• Oh, that's the cave shaking. I thought it was the videotape
• They just killed the big rubber ball! *Makes note to learn big rubber ball's name*
• I think you should be able to ignore the people in charge during a crisis.
• Flash just wants some peace and quiet to read his comics.
• I would want the Justice League to notice these things before they crash to earth.
• Flash has to go get J'onn because he isn't allowed to fly the Javelin unsupervised
• J'onn is just poking randomly, isn't he? Flash and Hawkgirl make plans to be sure they go to a real hospital next time they're injured
• Aw, Flash just wants to collect more superheroes.
• I'd like to live in a world of purple-finned people.
• I think I'd turn to contraband book smuggling in that kind of regime
• So far he's been neither stealthy nor guileful
• GL could just have picked those pillows up. What's the betting he uses his power ring to make tea when he can't be bothered to get off the sofa?
• Flash needs to take a packed lunch with him wherever he goes.
• I love Flash being attacked by a broom.
• How is he scanning for that if his ring's dead?
• That is so going to be Hawkgirl when she's old. The little old landlady would be the coolest superhero ever
• 'Despero And The Brainwashed Masses sing your favourite Motown hits'  That could work
• Why do peasants always cast out the weirdoes? There must be some peasants somewhere who decided to keep them.
• "The flame spoke in a voice only I could hear.." Surely you've got to know that's a bad sign?
• GL's in a very snarky mood today
• It's nice to see even purple-finned alien races follow the 'if it's not working, thump it' approach
• A *handy* matter transporter no less
• GL gets around doesn't he?
• I don't think he'd look that bad. I'm not sure he's got the hips for it. He couldn't do the sashaying walk either 

Part Two

• If he can subjugate the populus with his mind, why bother having an army at all?
• If it was that simple John they would have done it by now. GL needs to stop trying to be in charge.
• Have you tried shaking it a bit?
• Hawkgirl always makes such an entrance.
• Don't mock the illiterate rebel, it's not his fault
• Legends always say that
• "Only if you believe it to be is it so..." Was that even a sentence?
• Of all the people in the Justice League to over hear the impotence remark... Flash just had to be there for the impotence line, didn't he?
• Hawkgirl really wants to smash something now
• The little man wanders off, wondering how many provisions he can manage to hide in those simple robes
• Perhaps they should have been practising this on the ground
• Vacuum! Ha!
• A jealous Hawkgirl is not someone you want to cross.
• Or take out the third eye?
• Kilowogg would be the best Blue Peter presenter ever. "Today we're going to build a carbon bomb from items you probably have lying around your resistance lair." He's probably using an old Fairy liquid bottle and some sticky-back plastic as well
• That was a surprisingly honest explanation from the betrayer
• Do you think John is having a few masculinity issues at the moment?
• Bite him in the hand!
• 'Sentient' is a big word for Flash
• This populus is very easily swayed
• "Do not forsake me, oh my darlin'..."
• Hundreds of trees crashing to earth is still going to cause some difficulties.
• I like the idea of a giant army of trees drifting quietly through space
• Flash has no idea what that 'Saw the light" metaphor means. "So, is he dead or what?"
• It's best to check these things first, "What's a bratwurst?"

Part One

• I like mildly-unhinged!Lex. Lex is so wonderfully insane.
• The will of the people will always cause difficulties.
• Or he could just burn Lex's hand.
• Superman totally loves being a hero.
• Lex, yet again, makes some very salient points. Mildly unhinged!Lex is making a lot of very good points
• Singed Lex can't be a nice smell
• Batman and Diana have obviously tagged along to ensure Superman does not do anything stupid.
• J'onn was so hoping that was an international crisis of some kind
• Oooh, that's a really great suit. Black-clad Superman is incredibly hot. I don't care if he's animated
• What happened to Flash? The world without Flash must be a terrible place.
• He never got serious
• Batman finds it depressing too, that's why he likes it.
• "Date? You've got a date?"
• When did Smallville get a University?
• I went to bed scared of dinosaurs
• Superman wears the suit during dinner? I'd never be able to eat soup in a white cape
• Oh poor Superman, "Here we go..." You can tell they've been down this conversational route before
• Batman listened in for quite a long time there before announcing his presence
• I bet Batman interrupts their dinners all the time.
• Slinky grey Batman's kinda hot too
• Aw, Bats has been trawling alternate dimensions looking for a Flash.
• The Justice Lords is a great name.
• 'You've been a busy little bat, haven't you?' is a fabulous phrase.
• You never think about  them having to stop in the middle of a big battle and nip off for a pee Well, when you've got to go, you've got to go.
• "Not with a broken leg..." Wonder Woman's been spending too much time with Hawkgirl. I love Lex's fear when Diana threatens to break his leg.
• Don't go! Oh, Batman, you're usually the sensible one.
• Well do something! Don't just stand there and watch her trash your carefully constructed prison
• This is the most utterly random villain I've ever seen
• Lex really suits the prison uniform.
• I like the fact Lex has been imprisoned so many times that the guards count as personal friends
• Lois is quite happy for them to beat villains to a pulp, or blow them up, but lobotomising them is just a step too far?
• And Lex would know his Superman anywhere.

Part Two

• Two Batmans... Wow. I am stunned by the possibilities
• I might have known Flash wouldn't be taken prisoner quietly
• We think he likes you too. Who couldn't like Flash?
• "Even over me..." Yes Flash, even over you... Aw, bless.
• Oh dear, Flash has a plan.
• The Justice Lords do have a point.
• I love Flash still wriggling manically in the background
• Batman couldn't bear to lose another one.
• Go Flash!
• Batman uses the same code for everything.
• You've got to love Flash's willingness to try new things. It's always nice when you find out something new about yourself. Flash has a  noticeable little glow of achievement
• Flash tries to decide if that's a compliment. I'm entirely sure it was
• Batman prefers to do most things alone.
• Surely that's where you'd send a mentally ill bad guy, not a sick one?
• I wonder what evil!Flash's costume would have been like?
• I love the calming asylum music playing in the background
• Oooh, Robotic Superman!
• I want a robot to take over for me when I have better things to do. Although having an evil!Superman robot of my very own could be fun too
• I wonder what's happened to Batgirl and Nightwing
• Robotic!Superman has been programmed with little sayings!
• Flash has managed to stand there for at least five minutes without causing trouble. Surely that's a record
• I love Flash's attempt to appear nonchalant at the sight of Superman's severed head.
• One of them was going to bring up the parents sooner or later.
• Oooh, touché.
• GL should really check that Hawkgirl doesn't need any of those machines
• Batman is so refreshingly similar whichever dimension you're in.
• Flash thinks it's that simple and he's never letting anyone forget it.
• "...and that means I must be... I always wondered why I was here!"
• Even Superman admits Batman is the brains of the operation.
• I wonder how often J'onn  is made to turn into Lex Luthor.
• J'onn should be a giant flying four-armed dragon more often. It's a shape that's got so many inherent advantages, I'd want to be one all the time
• Flash is just going to continue throwing rocks at Superman, whether it's making a difference or not.
• Killed by a flying tiara... What a way to go
• Lex really enjoyed that
• Lex is all too willing to destroy any version of the Justice League.
• What do they do with the Justice Lords? Do they just send them back to their own dimension to continue their reign of speaking firmly to litter louts? 
• The getting thrown out of the scouts story is one we need to hear

Part One

• Was Grundy actually doing anything villainous before they attacked him? 
• Grundy's a lot stronger than usual.
• Why does Aquaman wear trousers and a belt but no top?
• I'm going to call him 'Stupid Fish Man' from now on
• Gold shiny....
• If she's telepathic, then why is she speaking out loud?
• Shiny things and cake. You have to admire Grundy's motivations
• Oooh, he's an exciting looking villain.
• "Many evil deeds..." Apparently including pushing a woman over once.
• Why bother to do that? It would seem sufficient to kill him and push the body in a river.
• Well, he would say that, not being the one about to be crushed to death. 
• "We don't have any friends..."
• Superman is always so bloody agreeable. 
• I expect Superman has special protective underwear to prevent the chafing. 
• “And, damnit! They damaged my uniform.”
• Hawkgirl just shouldn't be allowed on the diplomatic missions
• He has spare uniforms! On hangers! 
• I almost got very excited at the half-naked animated Superman. I don't think I'm well
• I bet Grundy cares about the pain now. 
• “And not without a good explanation.” that's such a Superman line. 
• Hawkgirl has a tally somewhere; "Fights I started -52 Fights I didn't start - 1"
• Tread on his hair! 
• No! Not the archaeology!
• It probably goes "bongggg!"
• That was a very ineffectual giant rock man
• I like the tired look on Superman's face there. “*sigh* I'm going to have to hit him again.” 
• Is he dragging Aquaman by the hair?

Part Two

• Wormface seems a far simpler name. 
• That was a very clever 'hand of fate' pun
• The Old Ones look rather cuddly, like Godzooky
• Poor Grundy, he's standing right there whilst Superman questions his mental capacity. 
• What slimy part of him is she going to kick?
• How many thoughts does the average sea creature have anyway?
• Isn't the handing out of culture to random pre-civilisations usually considered a benevolent act?
• The many-toothed screaming hand monsters are quite unsettling.
• “Excuse me, Hawkgirl smash.” Hawkgirl really is fantastic.
• Aquaman has a sonic wave communicator? He went 'ping'!
• Hawkgirl has a surname?
• Hawkgirl is so refreshingly direct. “I have a gesture for you, but my hands are tied.” 
• Do inter-dimensional rips in the fabric of space work like that? Can you just put a really big stopper in them?
• I've got one of those in my head. 
• Hawkgirl develops close emotional bonds rather quickly. They only met this morning. He did crush things for her though. That's probably the equivalent of an engagement on Thanagar
• I'd like to have something more emotional than “Born on a Monday” on my gravestone. I laughed at the gravestone. I'm a bad, bad person

Part One

• I'm just here for the chance to blow people up.
• Hey, don't mock the cave identification signs. Some people need that kind of direction
• Things called The Black Heart are never, ever good. 
• Oooh Shiny! I'm exactly the type of person who is going to get sucked into doing evil.
• No one says 'crikey' in real life
• It's incredibly predictable that Flash would be the first member of the JL to move into advertising. 
• I adore this advert  more than I can say
• He stole his chips!
• Well, the boy has to eat, and pay rent... Do the JL get any kind of monetary compensation? 
• Flash has a van! He called it the Flashmobile! That has to be a MR in-joke doesn't it?
• I've had to rewind this scene twice because I'm laughing too hard. It's purple! The inside is purple! It has a jukebox in it! And a lava lamp!
• Did Flash just invite GL on a road trip?
• They don't really investigate actual crime much, do they?
• Surely not all those divorces are Flash's fault. I know he vibrates, but still. 
• There's a lesson in the uselessness of statistics for you, “and the other 50% end in death!”
• Does the driver not wonder where the rest of the unit are? 
• “The Innocent Seduced” sounds like an entirely different book. 
• I think they're too busy haranguing Flash right now.
• I vote for Hawkgirl, she'd be up for it. 
• I hope real nuclear launch sites have more security than one guy with a gun. 
• “Gastro-intestinal distress” This is almost too funny. It hurts. He sounds so sincere
• Oh, please, let the agent call Wonder Woman...
• And those soldiers mean they'll crack him literally.
• Why is the General British? I think it's because he's an evil General
• The talkshow host is actually raising some very good points 
• You can tell the general has been waiting for an opportunity to wear a skin-tight lycra outfit for years. 
• Oh well done Diana.
• That General is going to have some serious explaining to do when he gets back to HQ, "Well, we understand the trying to dominate the world, but honestly, why the outfit?"

Part Two

• He has a stars and stripes hat. Would you trust a man in a stars and stripes hat?
• See? I told you they'd be asking about the outfit. And possibly the make-up
• Well no, he doesn't.
• Why doesn't Flash have any eyeballs? Bats doesn't have any either. It must be something to do with the cowl
• I hate people who sit on chairs incorrectly
• I find the idea of an advanced race of human superlizards oddly comforting. 
• Anything requiring subtlety shouldn't be left to Flash 
• Oh god, don't do that.
• Flash really ought to get his dreams analysed they sound worrying. 
• Evil!Superman always has so much more personality than the ordinary one
• He's waiting for the lift? That takes a level of stupidity known only to Flash. 
• You'd think Flash would have Batman's mobile number. Actually Batman's the kind of person to refuse to have a mobile.
• Granny Flash? Shouldn't it be Granny West? If I was his Grandma, I would insist on being called 'Granny Flash'. I might insist on being called that anyway
• Why does the Watchtower have a giant light? Batman really does think of everything doesn't he?
• Hawkgirl really knows how to communicate with Flash doesn't she? 
• Poor Flash, he's sent on the suicide mission even though he's the only one who didn't go crazy.
• “Swirly lights, fuzzy girl cheese” Again, Flash's dreams really do deserve analysis. 
• You've got to give him credit for trying. 
• Look at Flash's heroic pose! 
• The sports shoes really wouldn't go with the suit.  

Part One

• They've all been wronged by the same man? What's Flash done this time?
• Toy Man sounds like an incredibly sinister villain.
• Someone's spent hours painting that on the table and they just go stick knives in it! No one has any appreciation for craftsmanship these days
• Why is Metallo wearing half a shirt?
• The plungers explode or something, right, he's not just firing normal ones?
• That's my new motto "There are so many reasons why that shouldn't have worked."
• Oh, good plan Flash.
• Shouldn't Flash be able to undo that?
• Don't call Batman little...
• Batman, a man of such few words.
• That was vaguely insulting.
• I swear this town has the most idiotic populus I've ever seen, and I'm including Smallville and Sunnydale in that. Run people! Run!
• Famous last words Superman.
• *Gulp* He went bye-bye!
• I would have let Wonder Woman rip him apart
• She should be cold, standing around in that outfit in the rain.
• Batman's sleeping with that thought. 
• That's an awful formal dress for Diana.
• They have Justice League pundits? That would be the best job ever
• Poor Flash, he's going to have to behave now.
• Flash's back/example metaphor really doesn't work
• Okay, that's worryingly obsessive of Batman. Not surprising, but worrying nonetheless.
• "What tipped me off was the lack of evidence." That's some of the most superb Wolf Logic I've ever heard
• Alfred is a bit odd.
• He doesn't? I'd never have guessed.
• Doesn't Hawkgirl have a formal outfit?
• Lex went to the funeral!
• Don't some of those guests know Superman, and the others know Clark Kent? What are they going to say has happened to Clark?
• I love the fact the Green Lanterns all have formal jackets, despite the fact they're all different shapes and sizes.
• Is that just a symbolic coffin?
• We obviously never got to see those funny moments did we?
• That guy seems oddly out of place. Is he from another cartoon series that I don't know about? He seems completely differently animated to everybody else
• Please tell me the Justice League sell cookies door-to-door in their spare time
• Ooh! Deadshot! I *like* Deadshot
• Well this wouldn't be happening if the JL weren't all getting drunk in the Watchtower. 
• Batman with weapons is a far worse prospect.
• “Please say no.” I'm not sure why Hawkgirl bothers asking really.
• Poor Flash, no one cares.
• Flash is never getting off that bike, is he?
• And Deadshot even speaks... *Sigh*
• The wire trick was quite an intelligent move from Flash
• Their respective heights vary wildly from episode to episode

Part Two

• Superman still assumes that any people he may attract would only be coming to help...
• Superman's suddenly grateful he spent money on the McGuyver DVDs
• Ohh, the fingerless gloves are very nice. You realise you're getting turned on by animated driving gloves, right?
• When Superman died in the comics he was naked. Is it wrong to demand naked cartoons?
• His beard grew very quickly
• Those are very scary wolves. They're exactly like the ones I used to dream about as a child.
• He didn't do the poison tests on the plant... There's a man who never watched Ray Mears' Survival Guide
• I'm really very impressed with Savage!Superman.
• He's never going to get rid of them. If you feed them they follow you home.
• Superman backs quietly away from the large dinosaurs.
• It's sweet that they left Superman's passcode on the computer, even though he's been dead for millennia
• Why is Aquaman on the Watchtower display?
• “You tried to take over the world. Twice.” And you know Superman is actually counting.
• It would be very difficult to fake "other plans" if you were the only person left alive. Perhaps he could say he was washing his beard
• They released Superman's funeral on DVD? That's both macabre and incredibly funny. I wonder what the special features were?
• Can you just proclaim yourself Master of the Universe?
• I don't believe GL was the hardest of them to take out
• He made himself furry underpants!
• Savage has a house that big and he's making Superman sleep on the couch?
• How does he know that's a time machine?
• If they're building a time machine, surely there isn't that much of a rush?
• I like the idea of organised criminal cockroaches. 
• Superman has a portable sun!
• Flash is crying!
• "We all feel the same way.. but you're the only one snivelling like a big girl"
• Even Batman almost breaks out the happy.
• He just had to get that in didn't he?
• Superman really needs to stick with the fur and leather costume. It's far more exciting than the spandex
• If Superman changed the past, then shouldn't Savage have felt it immediately? He shouldn't have had to wait for the change to happen

Part One

• Why do they bother wasting the bullets? Why do they even bother doing crime? It must be so much easier just to get a proper job.
• That's a very pointless safe. It didn't have a combination or anything
• Giganta is an awful, if descriptive, name. I bet she was bullied in school.
• I'm slightly concerned as to what Shade means by "Quite the opposite."
• Secret societies are the best kind
• Hurrah! We like Grod. You could hear our cheer in the next county, when he walked into shot. It was also a slightly worrying moment for Tobin, who had never met Grod before and was utterly confused as to why we were cheering an animated gorilla
• The Justice League should have a press secretary to do these interviews for them 
• Ah, poor JL, they all look so disappointed in having to practice.
• Wow, it's an evil group bonding exercise! Like the Away Day we have at work, although I bet none of them are having to do a presentation.
• I love the 'Ow' in the background.
• Any plan that involves watching lots of TV has to be a good one.
• Where did GL get life-sized cardboard cutouts of supervillains from? Did he have to order them from Forbidden Planet like the rest of us?
• How do we know the small girl isn't evil? 
• Why are they practising in a a Wild West backdrop? It's nice, but it would be improved if they were all made to wear hats. I want to see cowboy!Batman!
• Hawkgirl just wants the lesson over so she can smash things again.
• Morgan Edge? That was a name I didn't expect to hear.
• How much damage can the lid from a wooden barrel do?
• “Call me when it's important.” I'm surprised they dared to invite Batman, he has pretty much spent his life practising.
• You would think that a chef who's on his feet all day would want to splash out on some comfortable shoes
• There's something very sweet about a supervillain taking notice of a warning label. "This stuff's dangerous!"
• It's actually more comforting if the JL don't have to practice.
• That was a wonderful look Flash just gave Superman
• She must spend a fortune on Immac. Those bladeless razor packs don't come cheap y'know
• Oh, Batman is just too cool sometimes. “Oh wait, I did.”
• Green Lantern never makes funky shapes with his ring. 
• Ow, that must've hurt.
• Probably have better luck handling nursery school children. Can you imagine the Justice League trying to control nursery children?
• Flash is very oddly animated in this scene
• “You men, unless you do it on your own it doesn't count” Ha! I'm not entirely sure the male members of the JL wanted that pointing out.
• At least one of them will have to turn round and come back because they've managed to walk into a part of that warehouse that doesn't have a door

Part Two

• You have to admire this criminal for being hung upside down from a building and still finding the time to critique Flash's intimidation techniques
• If Clayface can make himself look that convincing, then why doesn't he just do it all the time?
• Smash the cardboard girl!
• They froze the wrong J'onn/Clayface didn't they?
• Wheee! Look at that pop princess fly!
• There are a whole bunch of fans in the top row looking very confused now, "But this bit wasn't in the programme..."
• Hah! What did I say? I'm always ludicrously pleased when I second-guess cartoon plots
• What you're not seeing now is the Head Groundsman going mad in the background. "Not the turf!"
• This is way more interesting than the Football match. Although, what do you do if the game is interrupted by an invasion of supervillains? Do you count it as abandoned and take the half-time score? Do you organise a replay?
• You just know there are a couple of fans who have just got back from queueing for the toilets at half time. "What? What did I miss?"

 

Comfort And Joy

 

• How do the Justice League find the time to defend Earth *and* save a planet of moustached octopuses? They must have really good secretaries. The octopuses are unfeasibly cute
• Erm, is that meant to do that?
• Hawkgirl has a winter jacket! I love any show that gives its scantily-clad women overcoats. 
• J'onn always has to put a dampener on things.
• Green Lantern is in one of his very rare good moods.
• How do Hawkgirl's wings fit through that jacket?
• Surely using the magic ring takes the fun out of building snowmen?
• Flash is way better than Father Christmas.
• "Video game, sports equipment..." a book, a musical instrument, perhaps some kind of craft item..?
• I notice how Flash has forgotten to mention the vast amounts of time he spent as Grod's whipping boy.
• He took J'onn to Smallville! Poor Martha and Jonathan, all they want is a quiet Christmas alone and Clark keeps bringing his weird friends home.
• Batman alone in the Watchtower with every one else occupied... That's probably his idea of heaven
• Oh, I wish we'd got to see Bats at a Kent Christmas.
• I adore his slightly apologetic "I'm a Martian." It seems to explain so much...
• It's going to be pink isn't it?
• When cats do that it means they secretly like you.
• Japan... I had a worrying feeling Flash was gong to go to Lapland then
• Flash has no idea what that man said.
• And Clark is deadly serious about that.
• That means Batman probably got a sweater too...
• Go Hawkgirl! I love the little gesture...
• What Did GL expect? This is Hawkgirl we're talking about.
• I'm not sure even being held captive by Humanite and trapped under a collapsed building could ruin Flash's Christmas cheer. He's the kind of person who hums 'The Twelve Days of Christmas' in October.
• Improving it how?
• I love the idea that Clark still tries to x-ray his presents. It seems so utterly Clark-like somehow
• I used to leave out carrots for the reindeer
• J'onn selflessly eats a plate of cookies. I like the idea of eating cookies for good
• Do wooden churches have stained glass windows?
• Hawkgirl is wonderfully unhinged.
• I don't think this was how GL expected to end up in Hawkgirl's lap.
• I bet Flash stole that tree from the Watchtower. Do you think Flash has decorated the Watchtower, just so Bats has a touch of festivity when he's up there all by himself?
• Prison really is just a permanent hotel for Humanite
• GL is faking being asleep.
• That singing doesn't sound very festive to me.
• J'onn's going to regret that when he can't get the hairs off his suit. 
• Are we to assume Batman is sulking in an alleyway somewhere and refusing to enjoy the festive season? He'd be sat sulking in the warmth of the cave if Flash hadn't strung up flashing fairy lights and tinsel everywhere. 

Part One

• She's like that with everyone.
• Batman can sneak anywhere he likes.
• I would be howling at the screen in fury now. "But you're going to make me miss The West Wing!"
• Now that's what I call reality TV. Maybe they should try that on Big Brother one year.
• Where are the people on foot running to? Isn't Vegas in the middle of the desert?
• Hey, one of their mommies designed that costume
• Flash always has to stop and pose after escaping from anyone.
• How on  earth can a facility that big be a secret?
• I don't really like the Royal Flush Gang as villains.
• “They would've got away with it if it wasn't for me meddling with the kids,” is a fantastic line. That writer should get an award.
• What kind of company makes giant flying playing cards?
• Superman went from 3 to 25 awfully quickly
• There is something incredibly funny about Batman surrounded by multi-coloured streamers and confetti.
• Poor Joker... The volcano joke was almost funny
• Batman is 6'3"? That seems awfully tall
• Please tell me he has special bat-doughnuts!
• See that's the problem with capes.
• They really ought to have worked this out by now. Flash actually is a stupid as he looks.
• Queen's solid metal suit is surprisingly bendy
• Sublimating her passions with a massive, electrified mace? GL might need to reconsider this relationship.

Part Two

• GL is a different colour than he was before the explosion.
• There are so many reasons that shouldn't have worked...
• Joker does have a wonderful range of Superman nicknames. I'm particularly fond of Super-ham
• He's had that pun for months just waiting for the opportunity to use it
• It must be terribly stressful being known as the funny one. All that pressure to produce witticisms on the spot
• That must have been a fun session for the therapist...
• Was that supposed to be a chicken noise?
• Do we really want a concussed Flash in charge of something that important?
• "Smithereens" is a word that doesn't get used enough
• I love the bewildered cameramen.
• Batman really didn't enjoy posing for the group photo did he? "I'll be in it, but I am not going to smile..."
• I love the idea of the Justice League being hopelessly, incurably insane. They have so many serious psychological issues between them I'm not sure we'd notice the difference.
• I'm not sure I get the mouse.
• Rats! Animated rats!
• Okay, what part of Batman's admittedly bizarre psyche did the giant frogs come from?
• Batman's been through a lot in his life, I'm not sure being upside down is really a challenge.
• Cartoons aren't allowed to be sappy. It's just wrong.
• Is anyone else expecting Hawkgirl to say “because I think Flash may be in love with you”?
• Technically, a man and a Hawk. Am I the only person wondering if there might be some cross-species anatomical issues here?
• It's not her hair! It's an actual helmet! Wow. That's a genuine surprise.

Part One

• Ooh a Justice League/West Wing crossover.
• What was J'onn doing under the White House lawn?
• Ooh, undercover!Clark
• Superheroes shouldn't be distracted by sex. Okay, those two superheroes shouldn't be distracted by sex.
• GL's too busy trying to get laid at the moment, could he get back to you?
• Oh great, and even bigger ship.
• How come the radar didn't pick that up?
• Oooh! Hawkmen! Lots of Hawkmen.
• Shouldn't Hawkgirl be more surprised to see them?
• How do they manage to get that many world leaders together in one place so quickly? Much as I'd like to think they'd all set aside their more minor disputes to discuss the fate of the planet, it doesn't seem likely
• She's a spy? Cool. Okay, I just had exactly the same reaction as Flash.
• Just watch the wheels turn in Flash's brain. “She's been spying on us”
• She lied! Hawkgirl lied to the Justice League. You can't lie to the Justice League!
• You really ought to have told him by now.
• Isn't it obvious GL?
• Superman's glass is always half empty. And yes he's generally always right, but it's just rather predictable
• Trust Flash to find the doughnuts in the middle of an international crisis. Do high-level international conferences usually provide coffee and doughnuts?
• Like Bats has any idea about women.
• Just how subtle did GL think he and Hawkgirl were being?
• Flash is so pleased to have an excuse for all the times Hawkgirl turned him down.
• J'onn really should have mentioned that before
• That can't be good.
• I wonder if they take their armour off for sex?
• "I haven't had sex in five years, what could possibly be more important?'
• This isn't going to end well.
• Those poor shepherds. They'll wander around for ever trying to find their car in the carpark at the end of the shift.
• Hawkgirl is wearing her futuristic Justice Lord helmet.
• The Hawkman just saved a baby goat!
• Flash keeps that goat as a pet doesn't he? He lets it live in the Batcave and roam free as it was meant to do. It chews holes in Batman's cape and, occasionally, sleeps in the car
• How exactly does Batman know a frozen liver when he sees one? I know frozen tissue when I see it. Is that one of those things I shouldn't admit?
• Oh dear, they've sent all the world leaders off together to meet the strange new people.
• They're Swedish! The Hawkpeople have Swedish accents.
• Hurray for Batman and his bizarre British accent.
• That was a nasty sound.
• How weren't all those soldiers electrocuted?
• Do something Hawkgirl!
• J'onn can turn into a dinosaur? Why hasn't he done that before?
• Apparently not.

Part Two

• Would all these countries admit that they were completely defenceless?
• Ah, a gender- and ethnically-balanced NATO command.
• If earth were invaded by lots of Hawkmen, I think I'd be laughing too hard to be scared.
• Batman doesn't look like he's broken to me, he looks like he's plotting revenge.
• If GL is completely harmless, then why go for the enormous restraints?
• Oh, she will bite.
• They are some impressively strong thighs.
• She left Batman to free the others without the use of his hands?
• If the gun was powerful enough to rip through the ship, then attempting to fire it inside probably wasn't a very bright idea
• Poor Flash, look at him hanging from Superman like that.
• Has nobody set GL free yet?
• Could the Justice League be any more conspicuous than they are right now?
• I think GL should make more of an effort to hide those cuffs
• Too right Flash! Does no one else value the sanctity of the secret identity?
• I love Batman's unceremonious revelation of everyone's secret identities. It's very clear it was only Flash that didn't know.
• Wally has red hair! That's the cutest thing I've ever seen.
• Okay casual!Bruce is surprisingly hot.
• I wonder how long they had to browse before finding clothes they all liked (because Bruce wasn't going to settle for anything less than that sexy leather jacket/turtleneck combination)? I'm amazed that people that tall found trousers to fit at all
• Hawkgirl hasn't told them about the secret identities? She can't be completely evil then.
• The Justice League, supreme Crime fighters and mystery solvers of the Universe left the tags from their new clothes behind?
• That's it a headscarf will do the trick.
• You've got to give Diana credit for taking full advantage of the situation.
• The Hawkpeople really should have checked their suspects more closely
• Flash is never going to stop being amazed at Batman being Bruce Wayne is he?
• I like subtly coughing!Hawkman.
• No, she didn't.
• I know I've said this already, but I can't get over how cute Flash is with red hair.
• Batman has some really weird interior decoration.
• Surely that's just normal-sized, for a dinosaur?
• Diana has some very fashionable trousers for a fugitive
• It really was personal, sex tends to make it that way.
• Somehow I'm sure they will. 

Part Three

• He so wanted to be the one to tell him.
• "Let's go wreck it." It's not often you see Superman this enthusiastic is it?
• Batarang is such a cool word.
• “Wait for it...” Batman just has so much style.
• He has a whole bat army! That is *so* cool
• Poor Alfred, his job is never done.
• “What does this do?” You always get the impression that they always give Flash to Batman to look after because he's the only one with enough restraint not to throttle him. I love that, "That's not helping."
• What active imaginations the Thanagarians have.
• My cat just fell off the sofa! I know that has nothing to do with the episode, but it was really, really funny
• Hawkgirl's hair looks great even though it's been trapped under a helmet for two years.
• J'onn's powers are so much more exciting than anyone else's.
• I bet no one except Batman knew the Watchtower could do that.
• Aw, poor Flash can't bear the thought of losing Bats.
• Hawkgirl looks slightly more worried now Diana can actually reach her.
• GL just called Hawkgirl a slut.
• GL really tries with the funny lines but it just doesn't work.
• Batman must be ever so sweaty under all that rubber.
• I love the way Batman appears to be nobly self-sacrificing, but still manages to call Superman just in time to arrange his own rescue
• Batman really ought to say thank you right about now.
• Poor GL looks convincingly beaten up
• Hawkgirl looks rather strange with wings but no costume.
• Alfred, doing his bit as the token English person and handing out the tea.
• I wonder how the vote went... Flash must have voted for her to stay, and Diana (and, from what he said, probably Superman) would have wanted her to go.
• You can tell Flash is genuinely upset; he doesn't try to cop a feel.
• No more Hawkgirl? Who's going to do all the mindless smashing now?