stargate season eight

Season Eight

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New Order pt I

Yippeee! I am far more excited than can be healthy. Oooh Spaceships and things. I’ve missed Stargate.
Didn’t she look different last season? Doctor Weir, how you've changed...
Jack is probably enjoying the rest.
Damn! Hetty Wainthropp over-ran by four minutes, I’ve missed part of the exposition!
Teal’c! Hair! Teal’c! Hair! Teal’c has hair and lots more muscles.
Back? Have they ever successfully returned from a mission on the same spaceship they left in? I can’t believe Sam thinks that is a wise thing to do. SG-1 themselves must be too valuable to send off on another suicide mission.
Weir has obviously heard that SG-1 have a tendency to get stuck in outer space without the means to get back.
Daniel doesn’t look particularly willing to take the risk.
You can say no, lady, but they’ll just put the little black saving the universe outfits on again and go anyway. Hammond would have known that.
Go Sam! I love Sam’s cheerful manipulation of Dr. Weir. She’s picked up a lot from Jack!
Daniel doesn't actually seen that upset at being left behind
Sam made sandwiches!
You see, I would have brought a selection of paperbacks and a bumper book of logic puzzles.
Sam is not helping Teal’c’s sense of unease here.
Did Sam say goodbye to her shiny new boyfriend? We should see the shiny new boyfriend again
I think Teal’c preferred it when she wasn’t talking.
The Goa’uld sent a text message? I wonder if they cause minor accidents in hyperspace because they’re trying to text whilst flying. I wonder if they know how to put capital letters in the middle of a message, because I'm still having trouble with that
Oh! Hyperspace is all multicoloured this season.
“Yes, we should be able to see the planet,” says Sam, consulting the map book.
She just hasn’t consulted with evil snakes before, that’s all.
Except without the French.
Sam really didn’t need to point out that hull breech.
Thor’s timing is as good as ever.
That was a nicely compromising position for them to be beamed up in
I love all the random stuff in Daniel’s office. You can imagine him playing with it for a while then getting sidetracked by something else.
“Every joke, every pun, done to death.” With a name like that, Yu can only imagine the sort of things that have been said. Sorry. They really have been done to death.
Yes, Thor, I think that they did notice the black hole.
Please don't say "No way they could ever..."
Sam’s also especially frightened because she’s the one that really pissed them off.
What has Daniel been doing that leaves him rearranging his clothing?
The Asgard should really have developed some ballistic weaponry by now
It’s hard to hate an enemy as ingenious as the Replicators.
Of course it’s Baal.
The Replicators can now beam people up? That’s a worrying development.
Thor has really messed up this mission hasn’t he?
I'm not entirely sure "upset" is the word
They gave the Goa'uld appetisers! The sight of the System Lords eating nibbles is endlessly amusing.
I'd hope they remember to include Earth seargent
Again, their weapons not working in hyperspace is an issue the Asgard really should have covered by now
Okay, that’s horrible torture. Sam should win a prize or something.
Why do you think Sam?
Who’s the guy torturing Sam? Am I supposed to know him?
I’m betting Yu knows something we don’t. Anubis disappeared very quickly.
I like the idea of System Lord Daniel. He'd look pretty hot in the little leather outfits they all seem to wear
Look! Chevron Seven Man has left his natural environment!
Advance warning- i.e. the word "Run!" in really big letters
I think it probably is making him feel better actually.
Since when did Daniel get a red phone?
I thought the point of Replicators was that they survived explosions, because they replicate. If so the Asgard just made their problem multiply.
Daniel’s brain to the rescue!
Time for the quickest changeover in video history as I attempt to record all of Stargate without missing the beginning of The West Wing. And fetch ice-cream. My life feels complete now Stargate is back.

New Order pt II

Ha! I told you that was going to be a problem.
Bloody hell, ' Hetty'' ran over again. I must remember that next week.
“Translate into Goa'uld”. Has Daniel sat down and recorded all known Goa'uld words into the computer, like the announcers at train stations?
Lionel Pendergast makes the most of his one line by standing up and stating his name clearly.
“The Daniel Jackson”. He has a ship named after him! They named their ship after the member of SG-1 most likely to be knocked unconscious within two minutes of a mission.
That was some exit! They all seem very surprised by the Asgard beaming up Daniel
There’s no way Sam wears a nightdress like that. There’s no way Sam wears a night dress.
Sam has stupid fantasy!hair.
Horses, a dog, a man, a wheelbarrow with plants - all that is missing is the white fence.
Those tall buckets are very cool, horses can't fit their heads in them properly and you get hours of entertainment watching them trying to reach the last of their dinner
She grew all that hair in a year?
Sam is quite good at spotting alternate realities now.
Just give into the mind trick for god’s sake, David DeLuise is kissing you.
Pancakes! Choose pancakes!
I wouldn’t have Thor’s confidence in O’Neill’s conscious mind.
Oh Jack, I have missed you. “Testing, testing...”
Daniel looks so freaked by the thought of a ship named after him.
Do they really want to be on a ship controlled by Jack’s mind?
This was a damn easy scene for RDA.
There’s a galaxy in danger and Jack is still fascinated by fiddling with the lights. Light go on, light go off... how typically O’Neill is this?
Poor Thor... "O'Neill..."
I’m surprised the Ancients’ language can cope with Jack-speak.
An asylum seeking system lord? Don’t let the ‘Daily Mail’ get hold of that one.
And he cooks! Could the shiny new boyfriend be any more perfect?
It's good that she played along until after she got pancakes
Christ, Sam Carter, Intergalactic Black Widow strikes again.
I love Jack’s “What now?”
The Asgard can’t defeat the Replicators and they don’t have any Aspirin; what kind of an advanced race are they?
Poor Thor (again). It must be terribly depressing to have your entire race's future hinging on two people who are perfectly happy bickering like six-year-olds
Well, it’s shiny and blue; what more could you want?
For God’s sake, don’t let Jack touch it!
The Replicators have always seemed fairly organised.
Sam regrets her phrasing slightly.
Thor is rather sensibly running away.
I’m betting his name is a number though.
Watch Jack back away from the tube quickly.
Teal’c looks for the biggest weapon he can find.
That’s the flimsiest weapon I’ve ever seen.
It’s a giant Replicator! How cool is that?
It’s better to have loved and chained them in a cupboard, than never to have loved at all.
Sam looks very clean for someone who's just been hideously tortured
Don’t eat at the White House, they have crap menus.
“Yeah, I’ve been shunted to the spin-off. See you!”
Can Jack even spell Brigadier?
No, the *other* Jack O'Neil, the one with no sense of humour
See, Jack has the same attitude to promotion as I do: It should involve less work, not more.
That’s Jack’s motto, isn’t it; “I don’t really want to be in charge of anything!”
He does have a desk...thank you Sam! Well, that explains why Jack hasn’t been getting his memos.
I love Jack’s two main reasons for taking the promotion: (1) He’s never had a desk before and (2) he can do whatever he wants.
“You’ll be in charge, you can do whatever you want.” Daniel, Daniel, that was either a very clever or a very stupid thing you just said. I love Daniels slow realisation of what he's just unleashed with that little remark
Oh, besuited!Daniel. I’m fond of him.
Here we go, who couldn’t see that one coming? Sam seems to attract such wonderfully obsessive men.

Lockdown

They're speaking Russian! I demand subtitles!
They are speaking Russian, aren't they? Sam seems to be understanding them, so it may just be the sound on my video
That was Anubis! I told you he wasn’t dead.
Oh bloody hell I’ve done it again! I hope nothing vital happened before the credits. One day soon you'll have to make that hard Hetty Wainthrop /Stargate decision. It's obviously you can't successfully watch both of them, I think one's going to have to go
Look at Jack, digging himself out from under all the paperwork.
Jack needs to get a secretary.
There was probably a... Damn, there goes my memo joke
The Russian is being a bit strident, isn’t he?
SG-1?Yeah, that's not going to happen
Poor Russian guy, he just wants to go into space.
He's going to end up going through the gate, isn't he?
I really thought that was going to be some groundbreaking Jaffa rebellion, and he just managed to get an apartment. Teal'c's leaving home! Aw, it’s a big day.
Teal'c can't cook?
Unless you make a list you just end up with lots of quiche.
Jack quickly discovers power isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
Bad mash is important. It's the kind of thing people are going to complain about
As usual, Sam is coming to the rescue. Sam’s still in charge really isn’t she?
Eugh! Eeeeew, what was that on his arm?
“He’s an equal opportunity offender.” I do like that line.
Apparently, yes. I'd find it comforting
Oh look, character progression for Daniel, it’s normally him that gets rendered unconscious.
Their standards are going down hill without Dr Frasier.
Daniel's going off with other men! Is that allowed?
How did it get from the space station to earth? Was that a flashback?
It’s always poor Daniel who gets infected.
No! Don’t put bullets in him!
“No lesions yet.” But trust me, we’re stripping him every fifteen minutes to check.
Nobody had met the Russian guy before he arrived on the base, so how would they recognise his behaviour being 'unusual'?
The Russian’s English is worse now he’s been de-Anubised.
I find Teal'c strangely reassuring, "Had you remained in your homeland..."
It must be a sad day in diagnostic medicine when you can't cross 'alien possession' off the list
That’s it, everyone crowd around the highly infectious man
“Don’t change the subject!” Yes, Daniel is quite insistent about getting back to the shooting incident.
I love Daniel's dogged pursuit of the truth, "Who shot me?"
There was a stunning lack of support for Jack there as the rest of SG-1 drop him in it.
Sam and Teal’c with the clunkiest piece of exposition I’ve seen for a while.
Are we sure it’s not Dr Brightman who’s infected?
Yeah, he can't hear you through the curtain
Daniel was thrown out of the infirmary for jelly-stealing? That's fabulous!
That’s Young General Hammond. They really need to get some more actors.
Daniel looks like he was trying to figure out how to walk with his arm there.
Actually, I think Daniel’s plan has yet to be arranged. Daniel was expecting Jack to think up the plan.
How do we know Anubis isn't in Sam and orchestrating the lockdown?
Good question
It would be at this point that I’d remember I’d left my glasses in the other section.
I’m still not sure how this is supposed to stop Anubis.
I wonder if they arranged for someone to pick up the keys for Teal'c's apartment?
Notice that Sam has managed to get locked into the area with her laptop.
Sam has a great manicure
What happens if you’re the last one alive and you need to set the self-destruct?
Why would Anubis want the self-destruct activated?
Poor expendable Russian guy. Aw! The poor Russian! I was getting to like him!

Zero Hour

I swear I’ve only missed a minute tonight, two tops. This time it's me who's missed the first few minutes, because I was trying to wrestle with my phone, which has suddenly refused to use letters in text messages. It's hard to convey "Stargate's starting, turn over!" solely in numerals
Jack is the only one who has learned anything from seven years of 'gate travel. Do Not Bring Alien Life Forms Home With You.
Is Walter his personal assistant?
How many types of bunting can there be?
Jack really wanted a blonde secretary
Chevron Seven Guy seems very firm with O’Neill there.
I do love Chevron Seven Man’s “Really, *really*glad.” That speaks a volume about how the support staff have suffered recently.
Is the new secretary a spy? It seems just a little bit stupid to call your secret boss from your new office phone that must list all calls.
I like Jack’s dismissive wave to the new man.
It’s incredibly obvious Walter has the decorating gene. This is exactly the reason they should be allowing gay men into the military. Oh, there are *so* many people I've just offended with that remark...
It looks like patience is not a virtue that SG-1 have.
Yes, snippiness is a word.
Daniel seems very excited by the possibility of weapons
Isn’t that the official job of SG3, to protect the backsides of SG-1?
Oh! Is that Major Davis by the 'gate? Okay, how worrying is it I can identify him in the background and with his back turned? Major Davis! Major Davis is in this episode!
Jack is using his full botanical powers of observation there.
"Strict safety protocols"? What, if it's actively trying to kill you don't let it through the gate? Unfortunately, the stringent rules that the SG teams observe largely boil down to “if it glows, don’t touch it.” And they’re not very good at following that one.
She is definitely sulking.
I knew it was him! *dances the dance of Major Davis reappearance joy*
The SGC has masseurs?
It has a bowl of fruit, how much more classy do you want?
He’s not going to lock them in the going-mad room is he? Yes, apparently he is.
Well, Jack!Diplomacy strikes again. Jack’s approach to diplomacy is superb. More diplomatic situations should resolved by locking people in a room with nothing to eat but fruit
Sam needs to assert her authority more.
I do love the determinedly cheerful optimism of the scientist “Well, it hasn’t eaten anyone yet!”
I have a polka-dot plant that behaves exactly like that
Well, that’s never a good sign.
That wasn’t Covering; that was quite clearly Ducking.
Sadly, Jack has bigger problems right now than a fire-retardant plant.
Destroying the human race through histamine production.
Poor Sam, it’s her first command, and she managed to get them all kidnapped.
I fear Jack is about to learn a very important lesson about reading his memos.
The boiler suit is definitely a better look than the robes.
He was trying not to be a pain in the ass before?
It’s sad that that a plant can bring the base to its knees like that.
I have a rapidly growing soft spot for this scientist.
Jack should have Air Force pyjamas for when he has to sleep over
Jack quickly tries not to alienate Siler there.
Jack mocks everyone! Of course he dares to... Sometimes Stargate is really hard to fringedwell.
Hey, don't knock the provoking. It got them an extra day
They should send Baal the plant
“Yeah, that’s why I’m asking you to do it.” See, I knew that I liked this guy.
I like that Jack spends his crisis time composing his resignation.
See! Glowing! Glowing bad!
I'm starting to like this Goa'uld. "Worth a try..."
I thought we were supposed to get *less* Jack this season. We’ve hardly seen the others at all.
Did Jack give the bizarrely-cloaked Goa'uld the right power cell thing? Or was it the dead one?
Jack’s desk isn’t nearly messy enough.
So close to getting home, Jack, so close.
"Why the **** not! Let us in!"
They’ve been trapped for five days and all Jack cares about is cool stuff.
Sam so wants to read that report.
I like the abhorrent clothes
Yay! It seems that Jack and I were on the same wavelength there.
“Never mind” is going to be Jack’s epitaph. That or “Gee, ya think?”

Icon

"Stargate SG-1 spark a civil war" What, another one?
Is that Daniel? Daniel! What have they done to you? He' all scabby and horrible!
"Our fault..." Oh god, what did they do this time... And they didn't even have Jack with them to do it
I’d love to be at a museum when an artefact came to life. That poor tour guide. I doubt that anyone would expect one of their exhibits to suddenly glow and start revolving. They’re going to have to completely re-write that part of the tour script.
Malps can go down stairs! For some reason I find that incredibly exciting
Why is Teal'c wearing a vest? Isn't he chilly?
Jack would’ve insulted them all by now, so Sam’s not doing badly.
I'm sure they've come out of an antiquity before, haven't they?
“Certain traditions.” Oh dear, SG-1 manage to wreck another civilisation. Mind you, at least Jack isn’t doing it this time.
Having someone drip water on your face when you’re trying to recover must be the most annoying thing.
You’ve got to admire any woman that can get a naked Daniel in her bed.
So eerily familiar that you’d think they would change their approach to gate travel.
At least Jack is honest about what SG-1 actually do.
“Squirly.” I can just see an SG team running back towards the gate, in the middle of a gun battle yelling “Condition squirly! Condition squirly!” through their radios.
For her own sake because she wants to have sex with him, I assume.
Being able to unite fundamentalists is quite a talent
Why do they surface access to launch a UAV? Can't they do the cool flying-through-the-'gate thing?
Right, back to the tradition of Daniel-in-peril then. Of course Daniel is still alive; he always is. Well, except for the time he wasn’t, but even that didn’t end badly.
That's a very calm colour for an alert
“Have a penchant for melodrama.” I’m glad to see that Daniel recognises this as a reason why the Goa'uld are evil.
Well, if anyone is going to cause panic and fear, it’s Jack.
Is Jack going to try and fit two entire countries in the room with the fruit?
Daniel seems a little too keen to just stand politely whilst chaos erupts around him.
Hang on, where’s the DHD? Do these people have one? Can they move that too? How is Daniel supposed to dial out without one?
It’s nice to see that Daniel and the aide cheerfully stagger off and leave the other two men to a certain death.
I think that they should have called the planet Bob.
Twelve people, a certain suicide mission...yup, sounds like the sort of plan that Daniel is used to.
Really Jack just uses it to find shiny things.
“You cannot believe that he is still alive.” Notice that SG-1 is convinced that Daniel’s Weeble Gene is in full force.
Is it safe to do laundry in the midst of a civil war?
“Do you love him?” “Love? No. Lust after? Hell yes.” God woman, it’s only Daniel! He’s lovely and everything, but what is it about him that makes every woman feel obliged to declare their undying love?
You know, if Jack was as immoral as I am, he would have sent Sorin off to a remote planet and just moved the entire set of SG teams through the stargate to get Daniel back. I don't know why he doesn't just send Sorin somewhere where he can meet his gods. It'd be a good learning experience for him
That's the new official radio greeting, "Hey? Guys?"
Daniel is lucky it’s not just Jack listening.
Don't Sorin's people know how to speak Goa'uld?
Daniel managed to fit a huge amount of information into about ten words of Goa'uld
Daniel! Leave the man’s wife alone for god’s sake.
Daniel’s dressed very casually for war.
All these bullets and dead bodies...it’s a very blokey episode tonight.
Ah, the synchronised swimming gestures are back. I’m not sure the special hand-signals would translate across galaxies.
You can just see all of Sorin's soldiers think "No! Why don't *you* engage him?"
“I will show you faith.” Hmm. Somehow it’s easy to mistake acts of blind stupidity for faith.

Avatar

Why do they bother using normal guns on the super soldiers? Didn't they have a weapon that killed these things?
I refuse to worry about anyone on the credits getting killed.
Ah, they do. Why didn't they use that before?
See? Simulation. But what’s the chances of someone getting trapped into a simulation? I’m guessing high.
It’s my scientist! Hello scientist!
Sam looks so smug that animated! Jack died.
You speak for us all, Jack.
So they’re saying Teal’c is just too arrogant? The fight's only as hard as the person playing thinks it is? Surely that's going to cause problems that may, in fact, be the entire point of the episode
This sounds like a very bad idea.
I don’t trust any machine that you have to be strapped into.
Of course Teal’c has played computer games; he’s been stuck in Cheyenne Mountain for eight years.
What makes me think that's a really silly safety feature? This sounds like a Total Immersion Video Game. The Red Dwarf fans got that one. That’s the part that sounds like a very bad idea.
“Fortunately, we limited the chair from being able to deliver any sort of lethal jolt.” “We did do that, right..?”
Aah, see, Teal’c learns quickly. It only takes two goes for him to think of body armour.
Has Daniel come down just to watch Teal'c die repeatedly?
I think they should’ve picked a more emotionally stable member of the SGC.
Teal’c thought up Sam to come and help him.
Oh, purple emergency lighting. I wonder what level alert they have to be on to require that.
Because Teal’c is very unstable?
“There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home.”
Oh look, here we go, the old ‘stuck in the simulation’ bit.
They really ought to have thought of these problems beforehand.
Why would the super soldiers activate the autodestruct?
I'm surprised the simulated Sam isn't more suspicious of Teal'c knowing that
Technically, Teal’c is torturing himself.
I have these kind of days too.
Teal’c just ran away!
He’s imagining invisible ones now?
But Chevron Two didn't engage!
Daniel should be worried that Teal’c obviously thinks he’s the most likely to be captured by the Goa’uld.
Teal’c needs intravenous coffee right about now. I think sitting against the wall ignoring everything would be my approach to alien invasion. Yeah, if I was stuck here I’d find a nice storage cupboard to sit in.
Anyone would think Teal’c was a glass half empty kind of person.
Won't that just end up with two people stuck in there?
Teal’c will be more positive if Daniel and his weeble gene are in there too.
Aw, they all offered to help! Nice to see that Daniel was the expendable one. That says an awful lot about SG-1’s mental state
They sent Daniel in because his tactical experience is so poor?
Daniel is acting an awful lot like a Goa’uld right about now.
I wonder if the game thinks Daniel is the kind of person who will quit?
I’m not sure two seconds in the future would be anything other than confusing.
Poor Jack looks horrified at the sight of the huge needle. Poor Jack, “I don’t want to see that again!”
Animated!Daniel is funny. Oh look, Daniel has glasses in the simulation but not in the chair.
Could it possibly be Siler?
Just kill everyone in the SGC then.
Why aren’t there two Daniels? There aren't two Teal'cs either, I guess the simulation knows who to replace when they're playing
It was Siler! For some reason I'm genuinely shocked

Affinity

I've had this conversation so many times, "Have you heard of signalling?"
Of all the people you don't want to get into a car accident with, I think these are the worst.
That collar on the shirt looks dangerously seventies to me. Wow, 70's!Teal'c. How does Vigilante!Teal’c manage to be so aggressively scary whilst wearing a flowery shirt?
Teal'c shows the meaning of the phrase "hard-headed".
Erm... Should Teal’c have been allowed outside of the SGC?
Someone needs to tell Teal’c that smug smiles don’t go down well with the police.
He's not going to get into that space now there's a thug lying in it
Poor Chevron Seven Guy looks nervous. Walter’s been stood outside the door for half an hour trying to think of ways to get out of doing this.
Teal'c is not a liability! He's the ultimate Neighbourhood Watch member.
I love the idea of Teal'c roaming free as he was meant to do
Can Jack threaten members of the government like that?
Casual Daniel has no dress sense
I love the idea of Teal'c sitting down each night and making notes as he watches "Changing Rooms". Please tell me Teal'c watches 'Changing Rooms'... None of them offer advice to decorate like that.
Has he tried watering it?
I think that Daniel and I could be couch buddies.
I love that Jack has delegated this particular task to Daniel.
Chris Judge’s shoulders and neck appear to be merging together.
It's not understood at all
Is that Lois? Oooh Lois!
I’d like my own next-door alien for when the pipes do strange things.
Pete! It's Pete! I like Pete. Oh! Look! Sam still hasn't killed this one. Pete is always going to be a shiny new boyfriend, however long they’ve been going out. He’s just got that look about him.
There’s something indescribably wrong seeing Sam Carter in pink.
She doesn't have a cape. As far as we know
Why are they walking through a children’s playground?
Sam’s used to random men stalking her. At least he kissed her before he started doing it.
Did Teal’c just kill someone with a kiwi fruit? It was a hass avocado. And they say that vegetables are good for you. That thief is going to have a nervous tick whenever he goes into a supermarket now.
I've been alive for 25 years and I've never witnessed a single crime, yet Teal'c has been off-base for a matter of weeks and has already stopped three of them? What the hell kind of neighbourhood did he move in to?
Very true. If you don't want people to pay attention, don't yell in a hallway
Their building has a mad cat lady! All buildings should have a mad old cat lady
He's dating a woman called 'Krista', he doesn't get to mock Teal'c's name
Sam unwittingly reveals that her boyfriend has experimented with cross dressing. *Too many transvestite jokes*
As long as they didn't have to consummate, it probably wasn't that bad
Sam's rant is priceless, as is Daniel's growing realisation that her subtext is rapidly becoming text. Sam really is my favourite female character on TV.
Sooner or later, someone is going to start researching these traditional African rituals.
This is a strange montage
I've never heard of martial arts by candlelight before.
Is she really going to ask Jack for relationship advice.
Poor Sam. It must be bad if she can’t think about science.
Is it normal to carry the ring in the box? Surely he keeps hold of it until she says yes?
Say yes! Pete didn’t actually ask did he? Maybe she misunderstood.
For once that was a very sweet and appropriate Sam/Jack moment.
The SGC should have a creche
Can I take this opportunity to say how much I hate ponchos? What’s the point of an item of clothing which robs you of the use of your arms?
When *did* Teal'c learn high-speed getaway driving?
He’s surprisingly good natured.
That was an awfully polite knock on the door for a group of armed police.
Shouldn’t there be official, world saving business for Jack to deal with?
Ooh, an "all due respect".
I would have pulled my internet connection as soon as I saw strange characters appearing on the screen
Krista did it, obviously
Daniel really can't be a secret agent, he can't do surreptitious at all. Daniel’s secretly quite pleased at being relevant in the real world.
He's an alarmingly sinister man
I like a man who can follow instructions too.
Wow, I’d like to be able to order sniper attacks at will.
Daniel even gets kidnapped on earth.
I wonder if The Trust have to use up all the old NID notepaper before they can order more.
Every girl should be taught how to crush a man’s windpipe. This is probably why I’m single isn’t it?
Or a guy who was embarrassed about ordering so much pizza.
Calling him Daniel is a bit forward, they've only met once.
How will they know it's incorrect? If they have a translation to compare it to why bother Daniel at all?
I would love to know what software they are using.
Pete and Sam should probably be wearing helmets too
Yay! Aw, Sam gets a happy ending. It's about time. I love that Sam makes her boyfriend organise a search and rescue mission before she’ll agree to marry him.
Is Teal’c sponsored by Nike?
Didn't Lois kill her boyfriend? Even if it was in self-defence, shouldn't she at least be questioned by the police or something?
Is Teal’c not allowed to play outside anymore?

Covenant

It's bald Roger Nixon again! That's the second time I've seen him this week. Garrgh! Bald Roger Nixon should come with a warning.
What is that guy’s accent? Other than annoying I mean. It sounds like someone is trying to do a Cary Grant impersonation.
Did we know about that?
They should stop worrying, at least half the viewers have switched off by now.
Don't they have authority to shoot people like this?
That’s a convenient piece of exposition from the TV. Why is that woman only speaking in incomplete sentences?
Ah, he’s nuts. That’s always a good explanation.
I'm not sure you can use SG-1 as a base-line measure of sanity
Frankly, I’m surprised everyone hasn’t noticed already.
So, he is nuts?
Truth is always right, but it doesn’t necessarily lead to the best results.
Poor Brian is having a breakdown and no one seems to care.
I think Brian is more worried that he’ll be killed.
Ooh, besuited!Daniel. Formal!Daniel looks fantastic! He must have a special person in to pick his clothes out for him, there's no way he's chose a suit like that by himself. Sam's looking rather swish as well
Daniel's embarrassed by his wayward archaeological past
Ah. Well, that proof. The pictures are fairly substantial.
That's a very swish little car too
"She called me a nice-looking young man!"
Well, the entire hallway knows now they may as well let the rest of the world in on it
"Have me killed?" Poor bald Roger was trying so hard not to say that
Coulson’s intonation is awful. It sounds suspiciously like Tony Blair.
He has a Thor! They caught an Asgard?
Jack is impressively calm.
It’s taken them a while to get there.
The Asgard aren't a notably verbose race
The Asgard always look a little vacant.
They gave alien DNA to people without security clearance?
Should Sam really be telling the journalist all this?
Thor! Thor's on TV! Thor missed his cue slightly there.
Thor’s making the most of his performance. Look at Thor mugging it up for TV.
They should have give Thor a notebook too.
I like Brian; he seems to have a healthy approach to life.
Did Jack get the Asgard to beam him straight home, instead of back to the SGC?
You'd think someone would get round to painting that guest room
I’d be excited at getting my own set of fatigues.
Doesn’t he have to be jabbed by the doctor?
Are they going to leave him there?
They took vending machines to the Alpha-site. How are they going to restock them if the world is destroyed? How the hell do they get things like bulldozers to the Alpha Site?
They've made sure about the returning part this time
Is Brian going to turn out to be a bad person?
I'd spend those last few hours watching Stargate under my duvet and eating ice-cream, but then I do that whether I have a sense of impending doom or not
Take control back!
That's just scared the living daylights out of some squirrel
He's patting the ship
I think I’d refuse to get in anything that had ‘Caution: Explosive Bolts’ written on the side.
What Sam really needs right now is a Goa'uld attack.
Surely that’s a reason to tell the world?
I’m not sure the starving third world will care about aliens.
I wouldn't deserve it!
He’s very overdramatic.
Brian needs a hug right about now.
Will Brian’s word be good for anything?
I told you he needed a hug.
The surveillance team obviously weren’t being very thorough.
What could you hang yourself from in the bathroom? Surely the shower curtain rail would snap.
Except he hung himself. He would have been better off with a nice noose metaphor there
“Please come with me. We promise not to send you to the Black Hole, or the ice planet we sent the Russian to. Honest.” At this rate the Alpha-site is going to be populated by some very unstable people.

Sacrifices

I really think that Jack was going to walk off then.
Daniel should know when Jack isn’t listening by now.
I’ve had rants like Daniel’s.
That’s a normal day for Teal’c.
Teal’c doesn’t seem the table tennis type.
Jack needs body armour if he’s going to keep playing Teal’c. Jack should have protective underwear. I'm very fond of the idea of bodyline ping pong.
Except the tradition to kill all women, I presume.
He's so going to tell him how to raise his kid
That's the most wonderful approach to life's problems. There's virtually nothing that can't be solved by humming to yourself until it goes away
“Got one!”
Maybe she just got stuck in traffic.
And he was doing so well with the nodding.
How much paperwork is there in establishing a new colony, anyway?
Horsie! How are they going to fit the horse in the lift? They're not going to put the horses in he gong mad room are they?
Oh, I think that Ryac has picked a right one here.
I love the body language between Sam and Daniel here, there was a definite need for support there, if only to stop from falling over with laughter.
Bra’tac’s smile is unnerving.
What did Bra'tac do to deserve the job of telling Jack about the wedding
Jack only ever thinks about the paperwork nowadays. I think he’d happily let the Goa’uld invade if there weren’t so many forms to fill in.
Jack is sensibly swayed by the prospect of cake.
That’s because you’ve been in a foul mood.
Oh god, an emotional scene between two people that equate emoting with shouting.
I think I’d enjoy weddings more if they had goat sacrifices.
Couldn't they ritually sacrifice an aubergine or something instead?
That seems an awfully long time just to put up some tents
The horn guy so nearly missed his cue
I’d rather have the pendant than the headband.
No she bloody well won’t!
Shouldn’t they have covered this prior to the ceremony?
Look at smug!Teal'c perched up there like some kind of giant predatory in-law bird
Now Bra'tac is just a man with a large novelty candle.
He's still pig-headed though
"He could search a thousand worlds..." wasn't an real answer
You need to beat him with a stick first.
Well, that solved that decision.
His head may be down but his arse was in the air.
Bra'tac and I seem to have similar crowd control techniques
“We cannot hide forever.” Not in that nice light-catching metal, no.
How much they're outnumbered by... If any of them plan on going away any time soon...
Ooh! New Goa’uld! And one who looks vaguely familiar. He's definitely familiar from somewhere
Teal’c is very tetchy today.
Did the SGC not think that the UAV would be shot down?
“As I have foreseen.” Yeah, my arse.
Aw, bless, he’s trying to dust it off!
Not just dead, but a fine paste.
Rya'c's wedding coat is quite smart
You’ve got to love that Jaffa humour.
Notice Jack only says that once they’re leaving.
There's got to be at least one small Jaffa child that's got itself locked in the weapons cupboard and gets left behind

Endgame

This is a suspiciously long previously, which gives away the entire plot of the episode.
Ooh, Walter’s getting all snippy.
Should they be allowed to have coffee around the dialling computer?
I’d go off world all the time.
I bet they play on the wheelie chairs though
I'm guessing that didn't come from the vending machine...
Daniel can't be authorised to discipline people, surely?
Watch Daniel play with the military mind! Daniel is having so much fun.
Daniel is in one of those moods tonight.
The Asgard stole the gate? Again?
Jack just made my point for me.
We hope he’ll do that. Teal’c has a tendency to cause trouble when left unsupervised.
Can’t they just contact the Asgard?
That was clearly a conclusion
I’m not comforted by the fact they routinely ignore abnormal frequencies emitted from the gate.
Of course she has a theory, she’s Sam.
I think the Jaffa should just give up on this rebellion idea; it’s not working out so well.
Why does Sam change out of her military combats for a mission? Are they allowed to wear jeans on black ops missions?
She can tell that from the colour? Is nerve gas usually a luminous blue?
*Really* putting that back...
Stop firing bullets near the nerve gas!
Well, that’ll teach her not to check the label.
This would be surprising if they hadn’t told us in the trailer.
Jack’s still worried, just in case it turns out he has a symbiote.
You'd think someone would have cancelled the "Offline" warning by now. They can all see the gate still isn't there
That scientist has a very sexy voice for an unattractive man. He’s posh and English, he must be evil.
They're never going to live that 'losing the Stargate' down
I like the Alpha Site commander. He seems very sensible
They’ve also been fighting for the enemy.
Teal’c just can’t go a week without rashly sacrificing himself.
He put them through a "thorough search and scan" but he didn't get their names? I think we've just found the flaw in Area 51's security
Trust Guy really should’ve thought about this possibility beforehand.
Sam’s got a new leather jacket especially for the occasion
Was pressing that a good... apparently no. Oh, well done Sam. That’s Daniel like in its stupidity.
Does any one really care that Teal’c is a chul’va anymore?
Who put Daniel on interrogation duty? I'm guessing Daniel's not the bad cop
I suspect that arrangement will involve a prison though.
Sam has bed hair! Well, knocked-senseless-in-a-cargo-hold hair
The Trust are all very formal dressers, except for that one guy in the horrid stripy polo shirt
Teal’c gets a whole planet to himself!
Surely Sam would want them to waste a rocket-load of nerve gas on an uninhabited planet
Since when has Jack had a better idea?
Does Daniel know how to disable a hyperdrive?
If in doubt, blow things up.
How did Teal'c come through on a Trust radio frequency?
Sam’s doing much better than Daniel and she has her arms tied behind her back.
But Jack wanted to hold onto life with the skin of his teeth too!

Gemini

“His exact words were 'over my dead body'”. Jack knows all about SG-1 and their track record with ships.
Sam would not be happy at all. Sam’s smile means “No way, rot in hell, I want to go!”
They’ve just got random missing people out there?
They can send text messages through the gate? What network are they on?
"We'd better check this out... it could really be me out there."
Jack is betraying a long seated longing there. Jack’s just excited because it would mean less science for the rest of them.
“So why this one?” That’s a question that has been keeping Jack awake at nights.
Sam’s had to explain that aliens are obsessed with her so many times.
Why doesn’t the alpha site have all the protective gubbins that the SGC has? The gate doesn’t even have an iris.
Teal'c seems very appreciative of fake Sam
That's still an incredibly cool-looking weapon
Sam sensibly chooses not to sit in a room with herself.
"We're not going to speak..?" "No, we can't afford the effects needed to put you both in the same shot..."
Is Sam attempting to outwit herself?
Real Sam would never let someone play with her hair in such an incredibly creepy way
Does she remember Pete?
Fifth isn't very bright, is he?
They could’ve thought of a better name than ‘disrupter’.
Why on earth would he protect everyone *except* his obsessive crush? It’s very obvious she’s lying. I’m not sure why everyone is being so agreeable.
See, even Jack thinks that's suspicious
I’m confused!
But Sam#2 must know that’s a simulation.
Well it looks like you hurt her.
Oh, I thought that this was too good to be true.
Stop giving the enemy information!
Or he could put her in the simulation with Pete and all the ponies. That wouldn't be so bad
Jack should assert his authority more.
Teal’c is really hoping that someone scientific was listening to Thor then.
Sam has unresolved torture issues.
Well search faster then!
I do love the thought of Goa’uld vs Replicator.
A simple yes would do, Teal’c.
Shouldn’t she stick her hand into the CPU, not the screen?
Doesn't the alpha site have pilots more experienced at flying that thing than Teal'c?
She’s taking over the galaxy! Go Sam!
That’s it Teal’c, if the weapon doesn’t work, hitting her over the head with it is bound to help.
Christ, for a smart woman, Sam’s been very dense this episode.
I think Sam would be a pretty cool galactic ruler
Sam is happily working out her desires with her shiny new fiancé.
Well someone else will just have to figure out the solution for once.
Shut it down!
Ew! Arm!
I never know what I would have done in situations like this, I find it odd that Sam is so sure
Well, no happy ending today.

on to episodes 12-20

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