west wing season one

Season One

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The West Wing

That’s a bad Russell Crowe haircut on Sam.
If you dialed 1800-BITE-ME would anyone answer? Probably yes, but I'd strongly advise against it, it probably wouldn't be the kind of person you'd want to talk to for long
Oh trust me, we’d be looking.
Oh, Laurie the call girl is the male to female transsexual on Ally McBeal.
I have that conviction about the Sunday Prize Crossword every week. They're usually right
5 am to 6 am - What?! That’s personal sleep time, nothing else
Love CJ’s comedy prat fall.
How sweet that Josh can sleep through the hoover but will wake up for his beeper.
This is going to be a theme, but can Josh ever find his way home at night?
Regarding Toby's smart-ass remark to the stewardess, occasionally in the course of my work I have to deal with people who try to be clever at you by asking awkward questions when you're just trying to do your job, these people should be slapped
Okay so I'm shallow, but, great scripts, excellent plots, wonderful characters, and what really sold me on this show is the fact that they get Rob Lowe naked before the title sequence starts. Is that wrong? Wet and naked before the titles start? God bless America! Wet and naked Rob Lowe!
And that line wasn’t going to set up a plotline for later on, no.
There are a huge amount of extras in this show, especially in the scenes where Leo is walking through the open plan office areas.
Bless, Josh is in politics and worrying about what’s right
So, it's not just a bike, it's Leo's bike...
CJ’s hair gets better, thank God
"Indicted for tax fraud" I love that, it's the type of thing I wish I'd thought of
There is no call to be suspicious of coffee, whatever the motives behind it
Sparks already. Juicy
Don’t get into an argument with a speechwriter, they will have more synonyms.
I love Josh and Sam's little suit discussion. Although Josh is wearing the same one because he was working all night, and Sam's wearing the same one because he got laid. Poor Josh
How come Josh has a fan club and Sam hasn’t?
"Very athletic," that was said with a certain amount of knowledge
With all the fast talking and running around, it's easy to overlook Leo's understated dry humour, which I think is brilliant. I just felt the need to draw everyone's attention to it
"No predicting what he's going to chose to care about" okay, to me, that doesn't sound like a quality you'd want in the leader of the free world
I'd be fairly flattered if Sam hit on me, I certainly wouldn't be upset, or saying no. Sam said most women would be flattered, Leo's not a woman
Sam's given that speech before hasn't he?
I don't know how he does it, but every time Sam opens his mouth he sets himself up for a fall. It's amazing he even gets up in the morning. Sam’s problem with communication seems to be that he does too much communicating. Another irony of his job
Mary Marsh looks like she’s been sucking a lemon and getting a poker up her arse at the same time
Josh's political training has paid off, that's a quality grovel
"I'm seventeen, looking at linoleum makes me want to have sex"
He's right, it doesn't
What an entrance that was for the president. Top entrance. The best entrance line of anyone, any place, ever. What an entrance!
Why pay for pornography at all? That's what the internet's for
"Taking a little break" you mean this was a slow day?
That kind of thing always amazes me, I don't study my tomatoes when I'm chopping them, so how do other people notice these things? And how many amazing tomatoes have I accidentally made into lasagne over the years?
Could you indict God? What would be the penalty if he didn't show? Does God even pay taxes? He can't, he's got no fixed address. He's probably not registered to vote either

Post Hoc Ergo Procter Hoc

That's one way to find a parking space in town
“Are you crazy?” shrieks the woman who has just probably ruined her expensive car.
I’d like to see Mandy try to kill someone with her shoe.
Toby’s never going to get a cookie with jokes like that. I love the cookie points system
The Japanese are NEVER going to buy American cars. In fact, why would anyone buy American cars?
He's got a ten-day old baby and he feels fine? Someone's not doing his share of the midnight feeds
Not all women can be distracted that easily, or by babies. That picture of a newborn baby wouldn’t do anything for me, they all look like frogs at that age.
Spot the stiff
I know she hit the kerb at a fair clip, but you wouldn't have thought it would have totally knackered the suspension. I did something similar with a Fiat and it didn't die that badly
Vision of Josh as Mickey Rooney, or god forbid, Judy Garland
Love the announcer on the tannoy for the press room "Please take your seats, please take your seats, we are about to start the briefing" This is not a drill...
So C.J. tries to diffuse the trouble caused by the President's joke about the Ryder Cup team by making a joke about the Ryder Cup team?
The President should feel flattered that his joke got so much attention, many stand-ups would kill for this kind of exposure
That is the quickest, easiest way to kill someone, wait until they have a mouthful of food then say something that will shock them or make them laugh. Josh has obviously got used to this because he doesn't choke at all
Isn't it great how the Vice President gets a long speech in French that he has obviously learned by rote, and the French guy gets one easily understood word
The president will never look at his security guards in the same way, now.
Ooh, for a not-a-politician the President is very good
Writers are never, ever done, finishing pieces is a job left solely to editors, and people who set deadlines
And Sam keeps telling people!
Wonderful phrase, "I don't understand, did you trip over something?"
Got to admire Sam's conviction that no woman would actually charge him for sex
Josh's spring break story, that'll be worth hearing. Also the reason why Sam won't let him tell it...
Love Josh's paranoia, "She answers to me, and she answers to Toby"
How is it (apart from narrative imperative) that Josh can just walk into Mandy's posh apartment. I thought that was her office?
“My office is drawing up some charts” No, Donna is probably drawing up those charts for Mandy.
Laurie should kill Sam with a shoe
Am I sad or scary to want Sam to prove that he can recite the members of Congress in alphabetical order? No, I'd want to see him do it to, but I'd be laying bets from people who thought he couldn't
‘At my signal, unleash hell’ Coming from him it means something. Just imagine what the president would do if a series regular got killed.

A Proportional Response

I love the way that Donna controls Josh, it's beautiful
Occasionally I'm greeted with a rant first thing in the morning, I find it sets a nice relaxing tone for the day
That’s a pretty sophisticated spy network that Donna has going there.
I love Josh’s agonised “neagh!”
CJ is just too fantastic for words.
Boy, that was stupid of Josh.
Basically, Josh gets bitch slapped by all the women in his life
The President is dangerously close to snapping at Mrs. Landingham there. It would be dangerous for him, of course. I wish I had an army of minions for when I can’t find my glasses. Or my keys
Samuel? Oh, he’s in trouble.
"I got to get back to my office" says Toby, "my work here is done"
Actually he was standing up when he told both of them
Unnecessary repetition, for a writer, that's quite a cutting accusation
Sam’s going to have to buy a really big bunch of flowers for CJ now.
We had this argument from evil!Daniel just before he blew up Moscow. You have a proportional response Mr. President, as just because you can destroy another country, it doesn’t mean you should. That’s the price of being rich and powerful.
I think the President should have his nap now.
And on cue, there’s Donna with the water.
Who looks after Charlie's little sister when he's pulling these 20 hour days?
Are cigarettes like cash? Heads of State never carry any?
Why does the phrase "no cause for concern" always make me somehow concerned?
Poor Charlie, Josh is just being unfair
Josh should be glad of the novelty of having nothing to do. I bet he has backed up stuff to do, he just doesn’t want to do it
$3000 a night? Go Sam!
I don't like Mandy. Just thought I'd get that straight from the beginning
Politician's directions, "that seafood place next to the Democratic leadership conference"
The courtesy would be not to ask around
Nice to see that no one realised that crippling their intelligence service would well, cripple their intelligence service
If the President was as bright as Tobin, then he'd carry his prescription and they could just send out to Vision Express
Okay, not quite the face of the known world, he'd be pretty much fucked if he wandered into Scotland for a start
Somehow I can’t imagine Sam and Toby conquering anything. They’d be too busy bickering.
I think it would be funny to watch the President and Leo try to have a fight with baseball bats
I think Toby should wear his hat and his badge when he's being a sheriff, people need the warning
He’s quite cheery delivering that address. This always amuses me. Can you imagine the Prime Minister of this country starting a speech with "My Fellow Britons" (and yeah, actually I can, but he'd sound like a twat when he did it)

Five Votes Down

I want to know what the joke was before the punchline. Should the President say “sons of bitches” in a big speech like that?
It must be really annoying for the staff that they have to dress up in their suits and still stay in the background.
Cool, Josh has groupies. Count me in
"Happy Days Are Here Again", yes but this is from the kind of people who think 'Born In The USA' is a patriotic song
It doesn't matter if the speech went well or not, he CHANGED THE WRITERS WORDS. Totally, totally inexcusable
Charlie discovers the meaning of 'rock and a hard place'
I’m watching this episode with Bitca, and I don’t think that she’s noticed that Leo’s drinking Pepsi. I’m not going to draw that to her partisan attention.
Or anything that's just labeled 'meat' instead of giving specifics "Curry with meat 10p, Curry with named meat 15p"
I sympathise heavily with Leo, I don't have a quarter of his workload and I still manage to forget the birthdays, anniversaries and weddings of everyone I know. I wouldn't remember Christmas if it wasn't for everyone else making such a fuss. You misplaced a whole week once. A whole week. How can anyone do that? Hey, your brother once lost an entire year, my week isn't so bad
Poor Toby, how many times does he have to proclaim his ignorance?
I think that Sarah Messinger is trying to turn Josh into a character from an Oscar Wilde play.
If he makes $40,000 a time on the lecture circuit, Leo doesn't need to sell tickets to this meeting
My God, they really are paying Josh for a reason, and he's sexy as hell in the suit and the shades. Josh is so cute when he's being a hardass. Particularly the shades
CJ is really going to get some mileage out of this. Toby should just resign himself to it.
Chris Wick is an arsehole. With people like Wick around no wonder the country is in the state that it’s in
He’s already complimented Jenny once, after all
How many situations are there that justifiably call for a Texan?
Leo didn’t just look like an idiot, he acted like one too
Is that a little bit of fruit every week, or several lorries worth on Josh’s doorstep?
Did she just walk out with the choker on? Class
Mandy’s slept with him and she feels that some woman would give him a $1,198 smoking jacket and a $345 scrimshaw cigarette holder. Wow. He must be good
Sam’s chuffed. He can tell the girls the President of the United States hugged him
If the President makes laws while stoned, do they count?
The President is focused, but what is he focused on?
Charlie - mother hen
Don't get an Irish Setter, they're nuts
At what point did Toby agree to bend over?
Pride yes, dignity no
What did Josh get out of his meeting with Hoynes? Not that I think that Josh wouldn't be gracious, but I think he had an ulterior motive

The Crackpots And These Women

That’s a surprisingly good physique for Josh. Love the way that everyone's in long sleeves except Josh who's in a vest. Yay!
Of course Toby's going to write his eulogy, he certainly wouldn't let anybody else do it
Insulting POTUS seems to be de rigueur
Yes, that's some way to cheat. I love the way that the President actually physically hides behind his ringer.
Charlie as the new guy doesn't have anyone to pass Rodney Grant onto after Toby's failure to score a point. You’ve got to love Charlie’s show of attitude.
Josh has had a haircut since last episode.
Poor Sam looks so upset about being the only person on Leo’s list.
Sam is not jaded.
You can see Josh realising that Donna wouldn’t survive a nuclear attack, although I don’t fancy his chances of going anywhere safe without her anyway. Although, if an enemy nation was aiming a nuclear attack at the USA, surely they’d send a bomb to Washington. By the time they knew about it, they’d all be dead. So, what’s Josh’s problem?
And for those of us who speak panicked-Josh-Lyman, alarm bells are starting to ring
I dread to think what the trouble with the First Lady and the ouijah board was
Sam is refreshingly honest.
I love the way the UFO thought bothers Sam all day
What did CJ do that warranted being pushed in a swimming pool by an Italian actor anyway?
Nah, he’s just making those figures up.
I’m going to put that on my classroom wall, “See how benevolent I can be when everyone just does what I tell them to do!”
I agree with Toby, it's hypocritical
Now Josh is going to have to get Sam and CJ onto the plane as well as Donna.
Pluie, what a crap name, it sounds like somebody sneezed.
Microsoft Powerpoint has a lot to answer for.
CJ deals with the Pluie people in much the same way we would, I feel.
100 million dollars per school? They really would be good
That's Mandy being underhanded and bitchy, but hiding it under a veneer of niceness
Surely Josh doesn't need a therapist to work this one out
What will Josh do after a nuclear attack? I mean, he’ll be Deputy Chief of What Staff?
It is a beautiful piece of music
Most composers are, most writers too
Josh is being particularly cheerful right about now.
Josh really is very sweet
The President displays symptoms of jazz hands
Bill Bryson's American book ('Notes From A Big Country'?) has a whole chapter on bizarre and fascinating American deaths and accidents
Does the President have worse angels?
Josh is a shameless romantic. Josh is wearing his Cupid wings about now.

Mr Willis Of Ohio

Sam, take that out of your mouth, it’s disgusting.
I am constantly amazed that people show so little respect for the man with his finger on the button
Oh my God, trapped in a room with a human version of Trivial Pursuit
I can proudly say that I can answer all the President’s questions, although I’m not too sure about the hyphen and dash. I know Emily Dickinson used a lot of dashes without meaning them as hyphens, but she was a poet and therefore cannot be trusted on matters of punctuation. To be pedantic with the President, because he's doing it to everyone else, dashes aren't real punctuation, they're just something people use when they don't know if should be a bracket or a comma. Also, squared bracket, inverted commas (different to the apostrophe), oh, and they missed the most important punctuation mark in the entire English language, the space. And it's three root words in the English language, because dwell, dweller, dwelling all get separate entries in the dictionary (as well as dwale, which is a British plant but they probably wouldn't know that, and for those of you thinking that I got that out of 'Inside Bartlet's White House', you'd be right, but only because I read that before I saw this. I knew the word anyway, so there)
That pun is worse than mine usually are.
Josh has a good point, how safe can the Oval Office be if it’s all doors and windows?
Sorority stunt?
How many bets Sam wrote a very beautiful note?
That's a law? How can anyone be expected to read it, let alone keep it. There are fantasy sagas shorter than that!
I already like Mr. Willis
Ah, statistics, there's an A-level memory I've been trying to repress for the past five years
Is Josh absolutely sure Donna did vote for them?
He doesn't need keys. Charlie’s paid to open his doors
What kind of bar does Charlie think it is?
She's making a booty call. Who wouldn’t make a booty call?
Josh doing a fringedwelling of his own there.
I’m stunned Mr. Willis hasn’t walked out in disgust
"I go through every door that's open to me" and a few doors that aren't. Those he has to jimmy open with his credit card
POTUS is way, way, way out of line. The President reserving his right to be a pompous twat
Poor Sam (again). Against both Mallory and Zoe? He doesn't stand a chance
That obnoxious oik is Jesse from 'Buffy' before he turned up in 'Six Feet Under' and '24'.
Sam hasn't been called out in a barfight in years
I love Josh’s face - I love Josh’s thinking. It's the very manly way Josh just, well, calls in the FBI instead of taking the guys on himself, but still, I'm impressed
Wow, no wonder parents are so bloody neurotic. This is a very complex nightmare, obviously the President has invested quality time in thinking it through.
It’s his privilege; it’s her pain in the arse
I love Donna’s revenge. It took her all episode, but she did it, and Josh should have seen it coming.
Charlie injects some realism for Josh and Sam
I bet Sam and Charlie eat his sandwich whilst he's gone

The State Dinner

CJ really hates this part of her job. No wonder women are held in contempt. Love the total panic after "nothing on the nuclear test ban treaty?" They don’t look so much panicked as blank
I’ve been in a hurricane. It was fun. Mostly cos I and my house survived it
Potatoes. Idaho has potatoes.
CJ rules!
Josh’s desk is worse than mine, and that’s saying something!
Is she really Donnatella or is Josh trying to be cute? Josh called her Donnatella in the pilot.
If she can't do actual, you know, things, then what's Mandy there for?
Is it just me or is Josh over-reacting to Mandy?
Toby knew nothing of the sort, but he did know exactly how to shut Donna up
You really would have thought that someone would have asked about the salmon, or offered another choice. What if he was vegan?
If she doesn't have an office where does she put all her stuff? They probably stick Mandy in a broom cupboard somewhere.
Could they just send someone to nip over the road and ask the protesters what the vermeil thing is about?
I think he’s both
The casual acceptance of rigging it bothers me
She had to learn it and now, damn it so do they
Would they be more effective if they protested on a Wednesday?
So what does he say, "wear something suitable for a state dinner at the Whitehouse"?
If he tried to steal my sandwich I would have stabbed him with the fork
I'm thinking that it's unlikely that Josh will be accused of being a sorcerer at the state dinner, so Donna's advice is probably going to waste
Josh not over estimating his own importance there "when that doesn't work..."
I love Mandy's dress.
It's a damn good point that Mandy makes. We know what she does, and we know what Sam, Toby, CJ and Charlie do. We also know Leo runs the country, so what does Josh do?
In their tails, Josh and Sam look like conductors, or really posh waiters.
CJ’s dress is nice.
Wow, is the First Lady showing a bit of cleavage
Okay, that's kinda frightening, he used to be 'Sledgehammer' (very cool show btw)
Sure, because the fleet commander certainly hasn’t got anything else to do right now except speak to the President, not with that 600 mile wide hurricane coming up on him.
This comedy of translation errors is brilliant
I think Toby probably got 'si'
Teaching people how to protest, what, you mean Line Forming For Beginners, Introduction To Banner Making, Authoritarian Regime Identification 101?
That was low, and uncalled for, and very callous for Sam. To quote CJ, “Wow, are you stupid.”
I feel so sorry for Signalman Third Class Harold Lewis, he's got too much on his mind to be dealing with the President at this point

Enemies

Josh is in no way getting paid enough
"I can't leave.." and Josh thinks the President doesn't know that?
The President is a bigger geek than I am.
It's very generous of the Republican Matt to be congratulating Leo on any kind of bill
That’s what dads are for Mallory.
CJ should thank Mrs. Landingham for her reprieve
What do cabinet secretaries in America do? It can't be that important if they only meet every six months, and the President probably isn't listening then
There must be a high turnover in Agriculture Secretaries, next season the ex-Mayor of Sunnydale has the job.
Surely Mildred is using shorthand - how can the President read it?
The VP just got bitch slapped in front of the whole cabinet
"Reached your potential." is this Toby trying to be supportive, because if it is, it could really use some work
"Somewhere in this building is our talent." I just have visions of them turning the place over, desperately trying to see if it's hiding under some paperwork somewhere
Mallory is shooting herself in the foot with the whole no sex clause.
Mars isn’t made out of nitrogen.
That’s a bit of a bizarre position for the usually environmentally aware Sam.
Love CJ's extremely supportive staff
What have the Americans got against Delaware?
Butlers plural? Why does the President need more than one?
Donna lives for moments like these.
Leo is evil, but a nice father
This is the Old Boys Network ganging up on Sam.
'I didn't do a job before?' thinks Sam
Nobody is going to tell me that in that dress she’s not hoping for sex. Frankly, if you're on a date with Sam Seaborn and you're not hoping for sex, there's something seriously the matter with your priorities
Surely you should be able to fired someone for leaking what are presumably confidential minutes. I'm surprised there's not a clause in her contract
I absolutely adore the seamless change of expression on Margaret's face there
POTUS seems to break quite a few laws that could get him indicted
Leo obviously shares Sam's "death and shrieking" opinion of opera
Hang about, surely after trying to convince Mallory how little free time he has, Leo's kind of undermining himself by nipping out for dessert
Hoynes delivered the south? I thought that they got whomped in Texas twice?
Whenever POTUS is annoyed with anyone he menaces them with his nostrils. This is because he’s so short he has to tip his head back till it hits his spine to be able to look down his nose at people
Sam practically slapping Toby's hand away from the keyboard
Charlie is a perfect study in boredom there. He seems to be thinking how nice an unexpected grizzly bear would be right about now

The Short List

I love the little silent victory dance.
I did notice the banging but I assumed it was a noise on the other side of my wall, not Josh's. What on earth did you think I was doing?
Oh dear, this is how our tax dollars are being spent. Or would if be if we didn't live in England, or if I earned enough to pay tax
Why are they all congratulating the President? What did he do?
It’s a stupid name
Tongue and wrist? Slip twixt tongue and wrist? That can't be right, unless you're drinking tequila slammers, in which case there are many, many slips
Cats are designed to be yelled at.
"The middle of the road, nothing but a long line painted yellow" great insult, but one you can't use in Britain as the road markings are white
Josh and Donna consistently refuse to use the intercom.
With all those TVs CJ must get her remotes mixed up a lot
‘He’s a hairdo’ Love it. Hugh Grant take note
So, Toby's only allowed to yell at people in his own office? And obviously the corridor
Sam looks adorably rumpled in Toby’s office.
Does nobody in the White House use an intercom?
Of course, nobody will be at all suspicious about why a bunch of people resign five minutes before the mandatory drug test
Josh is having a thought
Why is having cream in coffee not freedom of expression?
CJ has her day brightened by Danny and Gail the fish. It's a lovely idea, I would be thrilled if a guy brought me goldfish, as long as it got on with Angel, the vampire fish of the undead that I currently have. (It's allergic to direct sunlight, and spends most of the day floating upside down at the top of the tank. Vampire fish of the undead)
The fact that Sam is young drives lots of people nuts, just not in the way the President means
What did the 70s and 80s get?

In Excelsis Deo

I'm with Toby all the way on this. It's basic maths, on account of there being no year 0AD (or BC for that matter). The debate over which year the millennium starts is only so you can have two huge parties on Dec 31st instead of just one
None of them are surprised that Toby's wanted by the police, Sam just looks a little stunned that he's been caught
CJ more than ready to take on the Secret Service guy in case that flamingo thing was personal
Just like our family trips
Surely that'd seem trivial under most circumstances?
You can't be president of a kingdom, no wonder Americans grow up confused
She'll be fine until someone starts using her to play hedgehog croquet
I love the fact the President needs reminding not just once, but continually, throughout the day that he's allergic to eggnog
Why are unmarked cars always black? Surely that's not a very common colour, people would notice. Why not an unmarked blue hatchback? Nobody would expect the President to sneak out in a Ford Fiesta
The sweet thing about Sam is that he's always that flustered and guilty looking, so CJ doesn't really have much reason to be suspicious
There is very little nutrition in a book, no matter how rare, and someone should tell Josh not to eat books
Laurie must be doing well, she was living in an apartment three months ago
I'm not sure about this hate crime thing either. I' don't think beating someone to death because they're gay is any worse than beating them to death 'cause you just don't like them
There is a certain fear factor involved when you realise that Josh and Sam are actually on you side
Josh has no idea what a drab board is
Josh wrote on the book!! The rare BOOK!! Inscriptions are okay
I hate this song

Lord John Marbury

Does Mandy have a point? She has nothing to do
He told Mrs Landingham too, but that was mostly to get a sympathy cookie
I feel so sorry for these guys, I've done so many presentations like that, "Swear to god, Encyclopedia Britannica"
I love the way the President only has to look at Leo for Leo to know who the guy is
Leo has just the best facial expressions
Seriously, you think there's a chance CJ isn't going to be pissed?
And by "worst time in the world" he doesn't just mean inconvenient
How many nationalities does Erik Avari get to play? Egyptian, English, Pakistani... He's obviously filed on the casting sheets under Foreign: Nicely Non-Specific
The way Leo and the President discuss films during a crisis reminds me of us
Like it would have been alright to break the ceasefire if they had phoned ahead?
Sam's turn to try the hardass routine
I have to say, Lord Marbury is a god, truly, truly fantastic, "I thought you were the butler." Lord John just loves to wind Leo up
Toby suffers from shades of Bitca, "when I was arguing in my head"
The trick is not to actually apologise, just to make everybody think that you have
That's just the best way to win an argument ever, "what was your name again?"
The accent's got to be real. He sounds just like my old dissertation tutor
Like the little sound effect of Lord John lighting up under the end titles

He Shall From Time To Time...

Do you think Josh's joke reflex is what stops him from keeping a woman?
Spelling hallowed with a pound sign? I've got an American keyboard on my laptop and it doesn't even have a pound sign. The teleprompt writer would have had to go to 'special characters' and insert it. Accidentally
I'd be pretty proud to announce that I'd made an entire country stranger
If he just turned up, would the President be gatecrashing?
Egregious? They couldn't have found a less pretentious word?
So the CIA missed out on India/Pakistan, but don't worry, they can come through in a crunch with the football results
Not an unreasonable question, fairly unreasonable answer though
Leo runs the White House and the country, so protecting him is protecting the President
Not Abbot and Costello, more like Tony Curtis and Kirk Douglas "I did." "I did!" "No, I'm Spartacus!"
Oh, it's so gratifying when people arguing against you get their facts so completely wrong
Toby's invisible wall, when you get an idea that literally stops you in your tracks
The family recipe is lemon juice, brown sugar, ginger, a drop of boiling water, and a strong shot of whisky (Bells for colds, Jameson's for actual flu, being really ill means you get the good stuff)
CJ knows a good plan when she sees it. Go Mallory!
Gail the fish has a podium!
Two series follies in two episodes. Having failed to take over a small California town, the mayor of Sunnydale has transformed into an agriculture secretary (one step up from a giant snake) and is setting his sights on the entire country
Don't anyone try to tell me that the President doesn't know that Leo's outside the door when he makes his "that's your chief of staff" speech to Roger Tribbey

Take Out The Trash Day

And I always thought "sticky wicket" was a cricket term...
There's always one
How much of an education was reading the "everything but" paper on sex-ed for the staff?
I would have thought more people read a paper on Saturday. It's the only day I usually sit down and read a paper (but then it used to be my only day off)
Leo overheard them didn't he?
I love the secretary spy network
I like the idea of having a hearing to discover the length and breadth and width of Sam and Josh's stupidity. In Britain you can be arrested for gross stupidity, which is both reassuring and concerning. Okay Liz, you need to be a little more careful with your hand-writing, because it's a little hard to tell if you've written 'hearing' or 'herring', and in that sentence, in fact, in most sentences, it makes a difference
Is the President highlighting all the words he won't say? Because that would make them stand out more
I'm very fond of Toby's wonderfully determined stance in defence of Muppets (and Miss Julia Child)
She didn't finish her sentence, she could have been going to deny it, I know that she wasn't, but still...
Carte blanche, "the worst thing I'm empowered to do is fire you, and I've already done that"
Leo and this girl having a wonderfully circular argument
Leo nicely undermining Sam's ability to throw a hissy fit and have people chucked out of the building

Take This Sabbath Day

Is there anywhere a more accomplished whiner than Josh Lyman? You'd have to be under the age of ten just to compete
Foul weather gear will not help the poor boy stay in the boat, and somehow, Sam Seaborn has never struck me as a natural sailor
I love the idea of a public service murder, as long as it's not me
If there wasn't a stripper, then who does the pink feather boa belong to?
I don't know why Josh bothers to fight, he knows he's going to do what ,Donna says in the end
Is Air Force One so unsafe that you have to stay strapped in for the whole flight, or is it that you have to stay strapped in next to the President so he has someone to talk to?
I cannot believe they nobbled his Rabbi, that's so, so cool. In a creepy, freaky, George Orwell kind of way
Nice shot of Bradley Whitford's shoulders. Just going to stop for a few minutes and leer. Yay for Josh's shoulders and Sam in the black sweater and jeans. He must be thrilled to get out of the suit and tie for a week
The whole scene as Josh wakes up in his office is marvelous
"It seemed like what I should do" to get the public defender off his back
The world at large just sets Josh up and knocks him down doesn't it. Poor Josh, life has conspired against him again, you've got to respect the way he always manages to come back from that
We don't ever find out Kenny's last name do we?
Wonderful quote "The devil you know beats the devil you don't, and I like the devil I got." Have to use that one day
I know that sign too. And I know a better one
I like Toby's Rabbi, he strikes me as a thoroughly sensible bloke
"Let it be the next guy's problem" and if it makes the next guy think about it, so much the better
The technicality the President could have used is that the death penalty under US law really should be illegal due to you not being able to kill anybody for vengeance in America
"Call the Pope" what like ringing his doorbell and running away?
God or not, I'd be more inclined to put my faith in the helicopter

Celestial Navigation

As far as I can tell, the schedule's normally screwed up well before 9:30
When your teeth stop looking after you, you just get dentures
Between the "teeth are the best friends you'll ever had" and the "nuts for dental hygiene" Sam needs to get out more and meet new people
Oh, I've been stuck on that journey before. "We didn't miss the exit!"
As Josh points out, they just weren't ahead of the game that day
Celestial navigation, very impressive, but a lot less successful than using a map
Poor CJ, "I can't even say bwiefing!"
I really don't think there's anyone on the planet living or dead, who can set themselves up for a fall quite as comprehensively as Josh Lyman
"Graduate of Harvard and Yale"? They're going to strip the flesh from his bones like the pen-wielding piranhas they are
Never be sarcastic to the press, there's no punctuation mark for sarcasm (sadly, I could do certainly do with one on this site), so you can be accurately quoted and still be misrepresented
Another of Josh's fan club there
It's the "so many times" that makes that special
Toby should have waved when they recognised his picture
They have special menacing green cell-lighting in Connecticut?
They are going to tell the President all the bad news at 7am. Are they trying to make his reaction worse, or do they think that if they tell him before he's had his coffee he won't notice it's been fixed? You'd be amazed what you can slip past people before they've had their coffee in the morning
If it was British Rail (or it's current equivalent) then Diminuendo can do exactly what Sam just did with the roads. I can do it with British roads too. Although, I'm not sure admitting that really helps me much
Love the way that Josh shuffles his feet here
If he was going to rob someone, he probably wouldn't do it with his wife and kid in the car
Samuel! Shame on you. Oh come on, don't tell me you wouldn't have said yes too

20 Hours In L.A.

See, constitution = pain in the arse, even the President agrees with me
I have alabaster skin too and no amount of product will make it do anything but burn, even in this country
The were hoping to get a sketch just from a letter? Even Angel's envelope detective would be pleased with that one
Random question, why Eastern Standard Time and Pacific Standard? Why not Eastern and Western or Pacific and Atlantic?
73-32=41, 41/2 = 20.5 in real money
Does any of that luggage belong to Josh?
Bet those guys are thrilled at getting to take the centerpieces home...
Must be nice not to have to fly across the country for an outdoor shot. (I assume they usually film the outside sequences in Washington, if they don't, then I've vastly underestimated their effects budget)
David Hasselhoff's Aerosmith cameo
Surely they're the President's staff, not Leo's?
Why is Hoynes the Anti-Christ? What has he done to deserve this, and if it was that bad, then why is he still vice-president?
Did he mistranslate the signing or the Latin?
She just crushed Josh's heart, nobody should be allowed to do that!
At what point during the evening does Kenny back discreetly away and leave Joey and her date to it?
Who in their right mind would even look at Keefer when they have the slightest chance at Josh Lyman?
"We agree on ethanol," always nice to have some common ground

The White House Pro-Am

Abby, the kid is fine
A lot of people still use egg-yolk now, it's very good for hair. I'd advise against the Borax though
I can't see anything wrong, and I think I'm looking closer than Toby is
And when the President say "accidentally ran them over" then frighteningly, he really means it
The 321st century in fact
Only Toby could eat a doughnut contemptuously
Oh poor Sam, he's been so set up
Literally wrote the book? There's an actual book?
Terry Pratchett's been saying for years that the Guild of Seamstresses were up to something
She couldn't have just told Ron, instead of letting the entire country know?
You know, Charlie and Zoë irritate me very nearly as much as Buffy and Spike. In fact, I think they're probably more irritating, although the ick factor is lower
Love the way Charlie manages to schmooze two women at the same time

Six Meetings Before Lunch

Toby armed with the double-edged sword of pessimism and accurate maths
Neither pandas nor koalas are bears
Toby spills champagne with the abandon of someone who doesn't have to clean the carpet
I'd give Sam credit for trying
Gina has to go to all of Zoe's classes, so if she hands in the essays, does she get a qualification?
That's how the Secret Service act during every administration.
On the subject of the Secret Service everyone knows who they are, what they do, who they work for, and you can pick them out of the crowd a mile away, so why secret? Why not the 'Ostentatious Service'? Aside from the fact that it sounds like an English school for butlers
Samuel Norman. Oh dear
First of all, smiles aren't waterproof
Toby puts the fear of jovial, bearded, communications director into the west wing staff
Usually when that volume of people die it's due to religion
John gets his petty revenge on Toby
Leo had better get out of his office quick, because I think that Mallory's about to have sex with Sam right there on the floor
So you can touch parts that are usually covered?
Who could afford Toby, Texas and the US Navy (clothes sold separately)?

Let Bartlet Be Bartlet

So it is going to rain then, just not now
He couldn't stand next to the window?
That must be some ID suite that the DC police have
Did she just call him..? Apparently, yes
She was working for their opponent (for the nomination), why shouldn't she have written about the weakness of their campaign
Josh kinda enjoys it too
No he's not waiting for Leo at all, he just thought he'd hang out in the hallway for a while and talk to Margaret
Thank you Leo
Ooh, see Fitzwallace kick ass
That's a nice military mindset, "It did disrupt the unit. The unit got over it"
Our Uni IT department did this when they sent us our end of year assignments, neatly crashing the computer system that we had to complete our assignments on
They have a lab?
Okay, one of these guys has to snap
Didn't he just do that steering thing in the meeting next door?
There's some very bizarre 80s keyboard music going on in the background here

Mandatory Minimuns

Josh rules!
"You're going to come to a verb soon, right?" I have this little conversation written on the front page of my writing notebook. Tobin will recognise the irony of that. (We are firmly on opposite sides of the imagery/bad writing camp, and for once, I'm on Sam's side, and she's on Toby's)
Poor Jack
Always strange to see these guys out of the office. They look unnatural in the open air
I bet he does assign his clothes days of the week
It is a nice suit
Dialect words are still perfectly good words, I get funny looks for 'siling' and 'scattle' and 'clat'. All perfectly reasonable words
It appears to be 'wind up Josh' day
Joey seems remarkably happy to broadcast that fact to the entire west wing
Poor Sam when he gets mad, it's just comical
Is this the same Stackhouse from the filibuster? Because he didn't seem the type to have drug dealers in the family, or if he did, to let them get away with it
That must have been fun, I'm sure Toby enjoyed that
I on the other hand would be very happy if Josh walked into my bedroom

Lies, Damn Lies And Statistics

CJ getting her dander up
Shouldn't Rodney the marine have better things to do?
Wow, nobody can intimidate like Leo, "that rifle's really loaded"
"Using the trappings of the Whitehouse," yeah, and it's working too
Barry's wife is a very smart woman
Leo is evil, poor Barry, he really is going to get lightheaded and starstruck now
Give it up Laurie, go party
Strictly speaking, if she does "knock them dead" she'll never be accepted to the Bar
There's only one reason bosses only take their assistants to Hawaii, although if that's what Donna's got in mind, then good for her
How long has the writer been waiting to use that joke? Because there's no other reason for it to be there
Any excuse to be in cahoots with Sam Seaborn
It's totally unreasonable quite how often you need a pen that writes upside down
Why would The Mirror be interested in Sam? There isn't enough scandal in British politics?
Must be a wonderful job, Ambassador To The Federated States Of Micronesia, although for any future job applications it'd be a pain, like having a previous address in Wales, you can never fit it all on the one line
The ability to commit crime with impunity really shouldn't be offered as an incentive

What Kind Of Day Has It Been

That is a great joke
Can I just broadcast my objections to the word 'Newseum'
And we used to sing songs to pass the time on bus trips
Ah, the universal language of sign...
I do love the flashback format of these episodes, and they're done very well, flashbacks aren't easy to do, or aren't easy to do in a way that actually adds to the story
What possible link is there between newts and payload?
This is why the President needs Leo to run the country for him, his mind is filled with pointless crap
Got to admire anyone who can deliver a speech and jog at the same time (for a while anyway). You've got to be impressed that Josh can keep talking at all, never mind that fast whilst jogging with Hoynes. They are going quite fast
I like the one secret service guy who's coping out and riding a bike
Why am I not surprised that it's Sam's signal?
Every so often Josh will be thinking so much about politics he forgets real life. It's a good thing Leo was there to remind him with a metaphorical smack on the ear
"The smartest people in the world..." Oh, Josh...
I can't believe that the President didn't know about the eagle on his carpet. If the bit in the middle lifted out, you'd be able to see the join, they must have a second carpet in the basement
I love the President taking the opportunity to give out good news
Random thought on presidential aides. Everybody holds doors open for the President, and carries his bags. Would you entrust your country to a man who everyone considers to be incapable of turning a door knob?
So was the jacket thing staged or not?
Shouldn't the Secret Service check any buildings in the direct line of fire?
Bitch of a way to end a season, even for someone like me who had "Shadow..." on tape already. If I actually had to wait 8 months to find out who got shot or not I would have been more than annoyed. Luckily I frantically texted Tobin, who told me. I'm surprised that the entire world didn't hear my subsequent wail of horror

The West Wing Index