The Fringedwellers' Guide

The West Wing Index

Author Key

S. One
S. Two
S. Three pt 1
S. Three pt 2
S. Four pt 1
S. Four pt 2
S. Four pt 3
S. Five
S. Five pt 2
S. Six
S. Seven

  

Season Four

Go To Episode

• Ooh, I’d still be an adolescent in Turkmenistan. That’s a horrifying thought...
• What’s the point of being President if you can’t arbitrarily change the calendar? Change the name of February. It's the one I can't spell.
• Why doesn’t the President of the United States have more than one pair of glasses?
• I really don’t think that winning an election gives him the right to pat her on the arse. I’d like to see him try and pat CJ’s ass.
• I love the idea that Leo has to warn the President about Idaho’s lack of sense of humour.
• So, it’s not a different procedure, it’s the wrong procedure.
• "Coming close doesn't matter." Unlike in Leo's missile defence programme
• Leo just knows that if CJ doesn’t stop the questions soon the President will invent a new name for himself in a Josh-like secret plan to fight inflation fiasco.
• That springer spaniel comment is a very poor joke for The West Wing.
• The Welsh? What did we do? Toby’s view of the Welsh is forever sullied by the woman with the plastic cup.
• Oh go on Josh, finish that sentence, I dare you.
• Poor Josh, having to start the day without any comebacks. Oh no! Josh used up all his wit for the election
• “Pretty healthy ego.” Well, yes, that does sum the President up.
• Aha, a big hat but a distinct lack of cattle mentioned. Surely if the big hat is an essential of the job then it should be supplied.
• Carnell and Duffy are first names?
• No one appreciates Sam’s pedanticism here.
• Just because the conversation was two hours long doesn't mean you ever came to an agreement. We've been arguing amongst ourselves on some subjects for months
• Sam, keep Will. You want the Master of Rain on your side
• I don’t think anyone should ever need someone called Betsy.
• Wales? This is twice in one episode we’ve had a mention.
• Penmanship today isn’t good, says she that’s waded through a pile of exercise books tonight.
• Ooh, stickers are fun.
• Did the kids or the cats bring the mice in? Either way, that’s not something you want to encourage.
• Do the Swiss leave the mice whole, or half chewed?
• “I’m sorry, that sounded funny to me” - The President appears to have Fringedwelleritis. He would have found our brain-in-a-jar lab hysterical. The President has a big fringedweller moment in the situation room, which is just where we would crack the most jokes too.
• First class? Damnit Mr. President! That was my joke!
• "Light up a doctor"? Well, that won't help anyone
• It'll be leaked that they gave a fifteen year old boy a life-saving heart transplant? I can't imagine that would be bad press
• They could fit a swimming pool in there
• Oh, not actually locked up.
• I don’t think that Josh has slept in three and a half years.
• Like Christmas
• That’s not fair, they got the nice lady all worked up about the job in the parks service.
• There may well be a lot of amendments, but surely there should be someone reading them before the President signs?
• The poor girl wasn’t doing anything!
• “Trout is now Charlie” I rename people too. I have a year seven called Bob. God knows what her real name is. Having a fish named after you is way better than an ocean.
• Just hang on in there CJ, he'll be back inside in a second
• The Margaret Museum, I can see that actually being a small room somewhere in the West Wing. It probably has a curator. I want to visit the Margaret Museum.
• Josh couldn’t be a secret operative, even if he wanted to be.
• Shouldn’t they have checked for doctors first?
• Rappelling or repelling? Because the distinction is important.
• “You only think it’s in Pakistan.” Hah, my friends (coughBitcacough) have geography issues too.
• I love the idea of Charlie suiting up to enter a room full of women.
• Cat, housekeeper, I can see where Bartlet would make that mistake.
• I can't imagine Josh on holiday somehow
• A stunning and rare opportunity for the Vice President to talk politics
• The grass skirts? That’s a downside. (Oh, mental image of Josh in a grass skirt.)
• You know exactly what that means, Josh.
• Shouldn’t the new mad secretary stand when the president enters?
• I have a really weird picture of Toby in a toga.
• The pen the president is casting about for would be in a box in Mrs. Landingham’s desk. It’s still her desk, I’m sorry.
• “Can you see Sam?” Not when he’s not in the room, no.

• Hmm, not sure I like the new hair on CJ. God, CJ looks like a poodle
• Just once I want to be applauded when I walk in a room. God, yet more validation for the president. Hooray! He can open a door! Hooray! He can walk into a room! Except that he has people to open his doors for him, so not that much of an achievement. If someone applauded me when I walked in the room I would assume it was sarcastic and walk out again
• Presidential historian, is that a tenured position? Is there a happy little historian somewhere in the depths of the West Wing that turns out random facts whenever someone asks them to justify their paycheque? Because that sounds like fun.
• The President's just not mentioning all the stuff that the cabinet screwed up
• Hey, that can't be bad. The President gets them all together, tells them that they've done really well and lets them go again
• I’m not sure that the cabinet did that all by themselves, I’m sure that other people helped.
• I wish my meetings were as short as that!
• But Leo just asked for the resignations!
• Okay, not so good if they're being fired
• The White House didn't supply the banner did it? Surely that's Sam's
• Ooh, look at Sam stealing the office supplies. Take the stapler. The supplies department will have calculated for it.
• Toby and Sam are breaking up.
• It’s worrying that the White House only has two good writers on its writing staff. They only have two great writers
• Leave the Trekkies alone! How dare he ask her to take off the badge?
• Why wouldn't it be a her?
• Josh deserves the pin through the eye for that.
• Look, now Josh remembers his briefing memo.
• Look at how Josh crumbles despite his assertion that as her boss he has never asked Donna for a favour.
• "Why don't you both shut up..." Thank you Leo, that was getting sickening. It annoys us too, Leo
• They had to do it before?
• Now Sam feels validated.
• Hey, Will made my point!
• Oh just give him a seat at the front, but make it a very uncomfortable one that squeaks
• She threw a fit because she had a right to wear a Star Trek badge! Since when did Josh turn into a repressive right-winger?
• Oh God no, don’t try and make it better.
• Go Star Trek Girl! Go, Trek girl! This woman is a credit to the fandom
• Sam, you are so sneaky
• The only question they need to ask is ‘Would a man in the same position have been given the order’, and I suspect the answer is no.
• That is a special lighter he keeps just to do that.
• Won’t that burning speech set off the fire alarm?
• Smoke! Smoke from the bin!
• See, Toby needs someone to point things like that out
• I love Toby’s sang-froid as he continues the conversation with Will as he extinguishes the fire. With his soda siphon no less. You get the sneaking suspicion that he’s done this before.
• Does the something special include the ability to fight fire?
• But alliteration is fun!
• Go Will! You beat up Toby's writing style
• Did Toby think that Will doesn’t have a piece of paper of his own?
• I love the idea of NYC declaring Holy War on errant parkers. I can just see wave after wave of blood-thirsty meter maids bearing down on the motorists wielding notepads and tow trucks. They must be bloody strong meter maids if they're actually wielding the trucks
• Charlie heads off to intercept the Secretary-General of the United Nations, wondering how the hell he got into this job anyway.
• He barely adjusted to Sam. He didn’t even manage to adjust to his wife.
• Toby has a brief moment of confusion there. For a moment I thought Leo said that he had a "women's problem". I too was horribly confused
• Charlie is making up an entire document there in a moment of panic.
• It was two seconds ago Josh, I'm sure he will have remembered
• I love how the president is trying to wind CJ up there.
• Oh dear, I don’t think the underwear story was what Donna wanted Josh to talk about. Is Josh being mean, or is he trying to help?
• Donna, it’s better they know it now rather than discover it later.
• That guy has been evil in something, but I can’t think what.
• Hmm, I wondered how CJ was going to deal with this idiot, and this is how. Well done CJ.
• Oh, are they setting up Danny’s return? I liked him. Where did Danny go? This is the first time he’s been mentioned in ages.
• He’ll ruin his eyes if he reads in that light.
• Cold, Josh, I imagine the Arctic Circle is cold.
• Oh look, even Christian Slater is picking up on the Josh/Donna subtext.
• And that got Josh thinking...
• “I got the fuzzy end of that lollypop” is a fantastic phrase.
• On the whole, I think pretending to be stupid is worse than being stupid. Surely pretending to be stupid is stupid
• Leo should expect these random bursts into his office by now, the teacher in the room next to me does it all the time, with really random questions.
• I want to see the short film on hygiene
• Brazil? It was the Ambassador to Bulgaria wasn't it?
• Oh, I cannot possibly express just how much I love the President’s rant down the phone at the (possible) Secretary-General. Too, too funny.
• Oh, she’s just moving on, poor girl.
• Compulsive eating of M&Ms. I know that sign...
• But it’s more fun when it’s a fetish! I bet Josh has never spent two days making a gay sex avalanche chart either. He's missing out on all the fun stuff.
• You know, I’m a Star Trek fan and I couldn’t do any of the things that Josh mentioned. I think it is a horrible gross over-simplification to put that woman into the obsessive fan variety when there is no indication that she could do any of that either. I like the idea of a Star Trek holiday, but to be fair you need to offer holidays for loads of other shows as well!
• I have so many conflicting emotions about Josh right now, but I think he just broke my heart.
• As much as I didn’t think I would think it, I think he is.
• No Will, take the opportunity and go to Nice. If you end up working for the White House you’ll never get another holiday!

• Oh God, this song was on the collection in Clintons when I worked there. The Christmas music came on the 6th of November, and ever since I can’t stand those particular carols.
• Have we gone back in time? Oh, apparently so. Oh good, 1950’s back-story, just what we need.
• Is this section in Yiddish or German? I’m not having a lot of problems following this without the subtitles, and that’s worrying because I don’t speak any Yiddish and my German is very rusty.
• German-speaking cigarette smoker. What's the betting he's going to be a bad man?
• Fitting, somehow, that Toby was named after a bookstore.
• What is it with this programme and harmonised singing?
• Barbershop? In white tie? Who is Toby trying to annoy this year? The barbershop is just creepy
• Go for it CJ!
• Oh God Josh, get it together.
• Actually the irony is self explanatory, Leo must have his mind on other matters. I thought it was funny myself. Leo is just busy
• You know, I’d hate to be the lawyer up against Toby here. He’s going to get creamed.
• Oh god, it's this wanker again. A quest for the truth does not give you the right to be obnoxious or offensive
• Actually, the relationship thing's a little tricky right now...
• Did he just equate pregnancy with disability? Because now I want to smack him really hard.
• "How pregnant"? You can't be a bit pregnant
• That’s a nice threat from Toby there, I get the feeling that if he doesn’t get to menace someone at least once a day he gets a headache.
• Look at CJ all excited by Santa. CJ has Santa fantasies? And you tell me I’m kinky.
• That’s Danny isn’t it? That’s Danny! That’s Danny under the beard! He brought her a fish again!
• A room full of journalists and nobody saw the White House Press Secretary kiss a reporter? No one saw her kiss Father Christmas, which is a little more worrying
• Will seems awfully attached to the Holy Line of Demarcation.
• Will doesn’t want to move because Sam warned him about the rubber ball.
• Oh, Josh is now in so much trouble.
• Did Ginger just say she was his step-assistant?
• Shouldn’t he be talking to Josh or Leo about this?
• Those missing ten marks have eaten away at the President all his life, you can tell. Don't mock the President, I still have a secret desire to retake the last module of my physics A Level
• Has anyone considered the relative size difference between Singapore and the US?
• I always dream about aeroplanes.
• Unusual and problematic, I would think.
• I can now see a murder mystery in the West Wing very very easily.
• Zoe is mad to pick Jean-Paul over over Charlie.
• And Charlie suddenly realises that Zoe is with a strange man with a silly haircut
• Comedy Frenchman! Wow!
• Doesn't Jean-Paul get a a surname?
• You can tell that Charlie is a veteran of the Bartlet administration, his sarcasm skills are top-notch.
• Well the highest score in cricket is not 400. There isn't a highest score is there? Or is there a point when they make you declare?
• Trust Danny to stumble across a story while in Bermuda.
• Danny is really the only guy who could pull off wearing the Santa boots whilst revealing a state conspiracy.
• How did Toby get the job if his father is a convicted felon?
• God, the barbershop people are still there aren't they?
• Of course she’ll wait. Josh doesn’t even have to ask Donna to stay now, she just does it automatically. Sap.
• Watch Will run! Run, Will, run! At least he didn’t hide in a cupboard.
• I love the way hat Will is trying so hard not to be there. The rest of the staff will leave fingernail marks on the walls as they are dragged out kicking and screaming at the end of the term
• They fly-postered his office! I hadn’t even noticed the huge Sam posters, naughty Tobin.
• If there's one thing about Josh I admire it's his ability to take information he doesn't understand in the slightest and use it to confuse other people
• Josh is feeling guilty because he’s purposefully broken Donna’s dates before.
• Josh is worse at covering this up than Donna.
• I want a copy of that snowman photo.
• Best looking? This is the same President who has worked with Sam for the past six years isn't it?
• I’m surprised he’s not called Louis.
• What Zoe doesn’t know is that Jean-Paul really will be sleeping in the root cellar.
• Josh will always be able to trump your emotional issues. “I see your criminal father, and I raise you a dead sister.”
• Donna does have transport for the two miles to the hotel, right?
• Okay I’ve forgiven Josh for last week’s misdemeanour, I just want to give him a hug now.

• The republicans have to share a cloakroom?
• Why is Josh in the Republican heartland? You get the impression that he’ll slowly shrivel up if he’s there for any length of time.
• “You’re one vote down.” That was guaranteed to really hurt.
• Yes, what did happen to Charlie and Zoe? I know I haven’t missed an episode, so when did they break up?
• Heifer International sounds like something we ought to know about.
• Ah, but will the cow wear a hat?
• There are 9% of people who think they spend too much, but wouldn't advocate spending less?
• Oh, Josh isn’t really going to resign. Is he? I think that was just motivational
• I need one of those clocks to remind me to tape Stargate. They really have a clock? That thing would drive me crazy.
• There is a reason Josh isn’t allowed anywhere near the speeches.
• I agree that "in the enduring wisdom" should be cut, but I thought Will was being sarcastic
• Will has the measure of Josh pretty quickly.
• Will needs a sticky name badge
• I really do not like Jean-Paul at all, and I don’t think that I’ll ever change my mind. And what exactly does John-Paul do for a living that allows him to stand there criticising Charlie? Jean-Paul shouldn't be allowed to use words he doesn't understand, like 'work' and 'manners'
• Does Gail the Fish have cows in her bowl?
• Why are Zoe and her boyfriend following the President around all day?
• I have that mobile phone!
• Ooh, Donna on a mission.
• Yeah, that’s what friends do. Often with bad puns.
• Are they talking about the same cow picture or are there two?
• I have no idea who that man talking to Toby is, but I like him
• Charlie, I’m getting the feeling that this isn’t a good idea.
• Good boy Charlie
• Look at Josh, hypnotised by the whiteboard and it isn’t even interactive!
• Have they tried looking for the senator in the ladies loo? The queues are always huge.
• I know it’s probably illegal, but they should just give the nutter the money in exchange for the vote.
• I like the idea of getting spammed with junk prayer. AOL probably offer a completely ineffective filter for it
• Are the going to specify a religion for this prayer? I bet they are
• Have they given Donna a picture of the Senator? She does know who she's looking for, right?
• Oh nice one Donna, clever girl. Donna really should be given all the important jobs, she appears to have the right kind of mind.
• That isn’t a cow. I’m not a countryside person, but I do have basic farmyard animal identification skills and that isn’t a cow.
• Leo is amazed that this is a problem that he should even be hearing about
• “Yeah, I may have agreed to something about a goat.” That isn’t something that CJ wants to announce out loud.
• No, they're not
• That snake threat is nasty but effective. Now that is an innovative punishment. I like "You're never gonna know where they all are..."
• Is he just leaving his goat in its crate outside the Oval Office?
• See, I thought that this army business would get Charlie in trouble.
• I want to see the chefs beat each other to death with ladles
• Why is there that single frame shot of women on the phone?
• The goat is in his office isn’t it?
• The goat can be company for Will. It could always eat the posters if it gets peckish.
• I love the fact that Will says ‘Hi’ to the goat.
• Charlie looks like he’s owning up to a prank to the headmaster.
• Well, why not buy a few less bombs and pay the soldiers a bit more?
• Charlie had a brief moment of panic there about the potential decommissioning.
• Oh God, I can just see the four of them in matching outfits on stage in Vegas.
• All that money on Post Its? They should shop around and get a better deal.
• Why is Josh called Maxine by the present?
• The last time Josh interrupted the President, he was sent to a psychiatrist, he ought to be careful.
• It’s an atavistic impulse Josh, there’s nothing any of us can do about it.
• I like the idea of ‘Donna people’.
• Ha! Didn't I just say that! And almost as wildly triumphantly as Josh just did.
• Will seems to be fitting in well, considering he’s taking on CJ there.
• I’m going to say this very quietly. I think I like Will at least as much as Sam.
• I feel the East German cocktail waitress flashback is one we should be seeing in a future episode
• Bumfuzzled? And CJ is letting that one pass?
• Maybe Ron is short for Veronica.
• There isn’t anything a good picture of a goat can’t fix.
• I'm surprised the goat didn't need a security pass of its very own just to get into the building
• Oh, that goat picture is going to come back and bite them in the future. Much like the goat, probably.

• I have a horrible feeling this episode is going to feel like a long, hard day at work. I apologise in advance for any ranting.
• The only reason I would ever go back to my old school would be if I knew that someone was going to burn it down
• Josh Lyman? Do the press briefing? I think the president has some very firm views on that never, ever happening again.
• I want to be doing a job so fantastic they ask me to return to make a speech at my old school. Well, without the whole public speaking and having to speak to lots of people I didn’t like, part.
• Of course they want Josh, he messes up so fantastically.
• Yes! Be afraid of high school English teachers because we are scary and evil and out to get you... bwah hah hah hah!
• CJ shouldn’t worry about writing the speech anyway, she could have Toby knock one up for her. I'm surprised Toby's letting CJ write a speech without his oversight
• God, the thought of Alzheimer’s is one that scares me more than anything else. To not have control of your own mind, and know that you’re losing control... shudder.
• CJ had to hand over her shoes?
• CJ really can’t leave the office behind, can she?
• Toby doesn’t really have any social skills.
• I'm fairly sure none of the boys in my secondary school grew up to look like that
• I keep wanting to take mental notes and write reports. The West Wing shouldn’t do this to me.
• What is it with men and fishing? What is the attraction?
• Because if it's cold there will be no fish
• Urgh, cooking whilst smoking.
• Even I got that maths question right!
• It means, CJ, she is no longer here.
• So, not that well then Toby.
• We all want lemonade kid, we rarely get it until the snail goo is off our hands. It’s a metaphor for life.
• English/Maths is a huge divide. This relationship was never going to work.
• Oh great, teachers are supposed to be higher beings that can never make mistakes now? You mean You're not?
• Ooh, reciprocity, big word.
• Once again, CJ appears to be venting everything that’s in my brain
• “The fish aren’t important in this context.”
• My maths teacher was a woman, and I still have mathematic anxiety.
• I know that I would hook myself if I was ever dumb enough to go fishing.
• CJ, just let the guy talk about fishing.
• I expect you sound a lot like Molly though.
• Wow, that was a rant from the heart.
• Go Mr Cregg!
• “I’m not alone, I have my book and a cat!” Substitute goldfish for cat and you have my lifestyle!
• She’s allowing her father to drive? I wouldn’t be so keen to get in the car.
• He’s holding on to his life, CJ. Give him a break.
• Mr Cregg sums up Toby in two words.
• “That man has no grace or charm!” Toby has a smidgen of charm, but you do have to look very hard for it. He’s certainly not happy on that podium. I resent that! Toby has lots of charm, he just chooses not to use it
• Love the comedy music over Toby's press briefing
• He says that as if it’s a bad thing.
• I’m very proud of the fact that I’m impervious to geometry.
• Marco was enjoying himself with that watch
• Does he always carry a loup around with him, or is it something that the Creggs keep lying about the house?
• CJ making a valiant attempt to understand what’s going on.
• Ooh, look as they labour the “watch as time” metaphor just a little bit longer.
• You see, my education in an all-girl’s school has pretty much ruled out any twenty year reunion with a handsome stranger sex. Damn it. My God, that’s the first time anyone on the West Wing has had actual sex, and to be honest it’s less of a programme for it.
• CJ’s hair looks awfully good for just having clambered out of bed.
• CJ actually wore the badge? If people don’t remember your face, they’re generally not worth talking to.
• I never thought of planting bombs as a way to get out of public speaking.
• At least this episode avoided most of the god-awful Alzheimer’s cliches.

• Oh, a *ball* ball with dresses and things. I was imagining an elaborate game of catch.
• You’ve got to feel close to your boss to peck them on the cheek like that. I like my boss but I wouldn’t do that.
• New York Freemasons? That seems a little random.
• Is Charlie getting a Bible or a Freemason? Because he seems to get all the really crappy jobs.
• When I become President, I’m going to be sworn in using my Smallville DVDs.
• Donna’s not going to the inauguration because she’s in a mood?
• Now that’s a classy distraction, “there’s cheese over there”.
• The library stole the Bible?
• Ooh, Will on the titles. Is that new or did I miss that last week? I think you missed it, I'm sure he was there last week
• Surely the President has been inaugurated before. Shouldn't he know how to do this?
• Is this going to be one of those jokes only Toby gets?
• You know, the Americans had a war so they didn’t have to do things like wear the wigs. Why backtrack now?
• Oh, decisions decisions; naked Christian Slater or Christian Slater in a dress uniform? Christian Slater and just a sabre, that's going to be distracting me all day
• Doesn't the U.S. Navy have dress whites? Not dress blues?
• Donna has her priorities right, swords, uniforms and medals.
• Yes, but you’re going to be thinking about that all day now.
• “Horrible violence” What, as opposed to the nice kind?
• History shows the briefings are just as short, even if it is a European country.
• Have they cleared Will’s office of all of the junk now he’s meeting important people in there? I’d hate for anyone to come across an unexpected goat.
• Globes have no corners, for a start... ah, thank you Will.
• Will is getting good at this baiting self-important people thing. I like Will, his personality seems to naturally annoy people.
• "I like to think I have a certain flair." That line's up there with the snake threat
• Ah, the bouncy ball is back.
• See, Toby’s always needed someone to rein him in.
• Yes, but the Bartletts have also given away the Bible at least once.
• Oh, poor CJ, that was unfortunate.
• Never underestimate how much knowledge the Catholic Church has
• Does the White House actually know anything about this situation?
• I could do with some money for a morale improvement programme
• You know, they’re not people that you want with a lack of morale, really.
• At what point in Josh's brain does "morale improvement" equate to "lapdance"
• The NSC puts special locks on the doors?
• Donna is quite an effective spy, isn’t she?
• That’s a cinquain... god damn it, will somebody let me show some knowledge, please?
• I want to meet the poetical judge.
• Just as Toby says it won’t, there it appears on the top of the pile. I would have made her actually place it on top of the pile
• Will has a very good "Did you want something?" look
• Well, Toby was very wrong.
• Toby seems to be putting a lot of faith in things having reasons.
• Oh God, “Mother Teresa with first strike capabilities”, there are just too many nun jokes available. I think I’ll go with Nunzilla.
• The bible comes with its own table.
• I'm becoming less and less convinced that "militarily" is a word
• The Americans are worth more to Bartlett because they can vote, when you get down to it. Because he was voted into office to help and protect Americans? It's pretty much his job
• Oh, I knew that there was no way that CJ wasn’t going to get her own back on Danny.
• Was that some incredible seduction from CJ or a very shrewd political manoeuvre?
• No! Josh should carry more weaponry.
• Aw, look at Josh being jealous.
• Would he have to undo all of them to... Okay, I'm going to stop thinking that thought now
• I wouldn’t put it past Josh to use the phrase candy ass, you know.
• No! No more Christian Slater?
• That was incredibly rude, Josh.

• Look at Will manfully ignoring the ball for as long as he can. Which is about four seconds. If they took the window out, Toby could just shout.
• Doesn’t Toby ever worry about the window... ah, and here’s the conversation. This is setting up a window breaking scene later, isn’t it?
• Well, if asking the President the time or engaging him in light conversation about the weather will adversely affect the American economy it’s amazing that they let him out of the West Wing at all.
• Will is marvelous
• There's going to be a Secret Service agent posted on the door checking for people in togas
• Toby is desperately trying to figure out who the leak was.
• What's with the title? Where did 'pt II' go?
• That sounds like a stupidly worded treaty to me.
• It’s quite shocking that only CJ pointed that out.
• I admire Will's ability to be unfailingly polite in the face of, well Josh and Toby for a start
• I sense his level of frustration is very high.
• What did Will throw at the window?
• Hah! Love the little “Sorry.” Oh he is so not sorry
• Charlie really isn’t at all concerned about the prospect of the President kicking his ass.
• Can’t the bible go in a luggage rack?
• Where’s Fitzwallace? He’d sort out Hutchinson. 
• The Chief Justice wants to be Dr. Seuss, you can tell. That was straightforward rhyme, the Chief Justice is losing his touch.
• What instrument is that woman playing? It's just a really pretentious guitar. On which she is playing yet more heavy-handed indie message rubbish
• You send your kids because people need help! It’s that simple! Besides, the kids decided to join the armed forces out of their own free will, they know the risks involved.
• They’re democrats, somebody should be giving a lefty answer.
• That's a quality answer from CJ
• Look at that channel hopping, the President has the attention span of a gnat. A gnat with four television sets though. I want six televisions. The President could take the adverts out of 'The West Wing' and still be able to watch 'Top Gear'...
• Being influenced by your speechwriter is one thing, but Laurel and Hardy?
• I has to suck being the graveyard shift switchboard operator in the White House
• That *is* a war, Josh.
• If I was in an apartment with Christian Slater and a Navy dress uniform, I wouldn't be answering the phone either
• It was Donna wasn’t it?
• Toby is passing on the joy of a late night call there. Toby's pissed about his window
• They put Will in a Holiday Inn?
• Poor Will, he doesn’t know which one to answer first. I love Will’s confused panic. It’s like me if I’m expected to do anything other than get dressed and leave the house in the morning, Sometimes the getting dressed part is just too much.
• I think its probably the President’s fault
• “Diplomatically, economically, materially...” grammatically? Look, my first West Wing/Pirates of the Caribbean cross over joke!
• Ouch, not a good quote.
• Why does the motorcade have flashing lights on the front? Would they get mixed up with another motorcade going the other way?
• The Bible doesn't get it's own room? What if it meets another Bible on a night out and wants some privacy?
• “A literary curse” Oh CJ just had to do that.
• “I’ve got the bloody Bible, don’t start the Inauguration without me!”
• Toby is officially ready to Move On.
• So poor Will gets all the knucklehead stuff now?
• Yay! We get to keep Will
• Promoting Sam is all well and good, but who would get the office? Space is at a premium, and one of them would end up in the Steam Pipe Trunk Distribution Venue.
• I bet Donna’s changed into her pyjamas by now. She probably has Ben&Jerrys as well
• Josh really taped the letter to his face didn't he? He spent the next two days walking round smashing into doorways because he couldn't see where he was going
• I note that Charlie is only challenging Jean-Paul, when Jean-Paul is nowhere in the vicinity.
• The vision of those guys as a strip troupe is really quite unnerving
• Look at those idiots in the snow, bless their hearts.
• Good grief, how old are these people?
• That was just a ranging shot
• I would have opened the window just in time to get a snowball in the face
• Oh squee! Look at Josh realise what Donna did for Jack. I’m such a Josh/Donna shipper it’s ridiculous. You do know you just used the word "squee" don't you?
• Only Josh would announce that in front of four of his friends.
• Do you need eight different dresses?
• I resent this programme for turning me into a shameless romantic.
• I like Abbey’s dress.
• Poor Will, he’s never going to get that holiday now.
• Oh Will...
• That’s a pretty contract. Mine doesn’t even have a seal on it. Mine's four photocopied sheets and a staple
• That's not a seal, it's the rubber stamp of the United States

• Four Cobras, eight Harriers, and a partridge in a pear tree...
• Who could be important enough to put the President on hold? I’d like to have the guts to put the President on hold. Thinking about it, I probably would have the guts to put the President on hold.
• I do like the idea of calling Ladbrokes from the situation room
• President I don’t imagine there is a lot of paperwork to conquering.
• You know, they really should give the President his coffee before they let him invade other countries, he might be nicer to the ambassadors then.
• Being met by Sam is way better than being cheered by the whole of Orange County.
• So says the member of a royal family who doesn’t have to work to live.
• The President is taking this discussion with Jean-Paul surprisingly well. It would be interesting to know what his blood pressure is though
• Oh Zoe, Jean-Paul isn’t a man. He’s an idiot.
• So, Sam is screwed whatever they do, essentially.
• CJ really is bitter about that suit. I do like Toby’s attitude towards using his friends as a missile shield though.
• CJ packs like Di, except it’s other people who spill things on her clothes. Hey! I only had to change, well three times in one day. Actually, that's pretty bad isn't it?
• Will really isn’t used to having a staff around the place.
• How sweet, he made them Rice Krispie treats! Okay I have a whole new fantasy involving Will, an apron, and Rice Krispie treats now.
• Actually, the Rice Krispie treats would probably have won me over. I already like Will, but I would have eaten them anyway to give moral support
• Sam! What have you done to your hair, it’s awful.
• Well Sam never made them Rice Krispie treats.
• But the Republicans don’t like the lazy Americans, apparently.
• I love Andy, “No, I jumped on over the Great Lakes.” She is just what Toby needs.
• Speaking of Toby, it’s hilarious to see how his natural sarcasm and brusqueness is warring with his paternal instincts to produce this wonderful nagging of Andy.
• Wow Toby, way to anger the hormonal woman. Not just the hormonal, pregnant woman. See the entire female staff lining up to take Toby on there
• Why would you pretend to be the agriculture man? Surely there are better people to be if you want someone to meet with you.
• I think that's a fine response from the President. Can you imagine the press response if they heard that raspberry from the President?
• I like the fact they continue with the Larry/Ed joke. I'm sure they swap those names over every week just to keep us all guessing
• I wonder if the President's extra credit system has a points value. If you've been right and funny enough times, at the end of the year you can buy a toaster
• Do all interns have to dress like hookers, or is it just the ones on the speech writing team?
• I love Will’s little smile in the face of adversity there, as he realises that his staff is all under the age of 20.
• Why would they be flying in French airspace? Oh, thank you Mr President...
• I think being trapped in a theme park might be my worst nightmare.
• They have Sam placards! I want a Sam placard
• See, I told Sam he needed Will
• He got them shirts!
• Love the team shirts, but Will is going to have to use names sooner or later
• Will takes the teaching post in Speechwriting To Interns 101
• Good god girl, he’s offering you the chance to write a speech for the President. Seize the opportunity!
• Toby has a brief attack of jealousy at the thought of Sam making out with his ex-wife
• Nobody should cry at Pirates of the Caribbean!
• Josh in jeans seems to get smothered by the storyline here. They really should emphasise it more.
• That photo is going to come back and haunt them, you can tell. Although possibly not as much as the one with the goat
• Oh, casual! press corp.
• Never mind the numbers Will, just call them all Lauren. You’ll be right 75% of the time.
• Is Jean-Paul wearing the same outfit as he was wearing in the Oval Office?
• Jean-Paul is just begging to have a pool cue shoved somewhere painful.
• Oh Zoe, don’t do that in front of Charlie. That’s not decent behaviour.
• I have a lovely image of Will pinging back across the office because he's reached the end of his elastic rope
• What a bastard! What a bitch! If you are going to make remarks like that you can do it at a standstill, not scurrying past like a rodent
• Well at least the ambassadors are honest about the madman's demands
• Charlie wore his own orange outfit.
• You know, if any of them were to be arrested normally, I would have thought it would have been Josh. Although given all the provocation I wouldn’t blame Toby in the slightest for decking that obnoxious wanker.
• Sam needs to cut his hair, that’s the only problem with the campaign.
• I love seeing Sam get mad
• “We've gotta keep our voices down” At least the President has learnt something on this trip.
• That's the youngest-looking 22 year old lieutenant I've ever seen