Angel Index

Author Key

S. One
S. Two
S. Three pt I
S. Three pt II
S. Four pt I
S. Four pt II
S. Four pt III
S. Five pt I
S. Five pt II

Season Three

Go To Episode

• What do they do with all the extra rooms in the hotel?
• Can you differentiate between levels of obsession? If you’re obsessed with something then surely there is nowhere else for you to go?
• Wes looks like he’s wearing a wig. Really don’t like the season three hair.
• Continuing the Angel=Dangermouse thing, didn’t that shot of the monastery with the sound effects over it look like it had come from a Dangermouse episode? (Should the Angel=Dangermouse thing be on the mouse page?)
• This is pure Indiana Jones
• Sri Lanka, I can't believe they sent him to Sri Lanka, and that whilst he's in Sri Lanka he's neither naked nor wearing a hat
• Nah, there’s too much sun in Vegas. My family got burnt quite badly there. I, however, had the brain power to come inside during the hours of 12-3.
• For a brief and glorious moment I thought Alexis was naked on the titles
• I'd fight hell-beasts and I'm scared of rats, especially since they ate my copy of 'Ivanhoe' and had to be scared away by Clint Eastwood (long story)
• Is Wes practicing his scything technique or his pruning technique?
• Angel and Gunn have a very brief and manly hug
• "Brings out my breasts" well something has to especially since this season's look appears to be “Grandma-chic”
• He needs to tuck his elbow in when he does that, although he can't swing from the shoulder because he'd end up spitting Angel
• Answering newly returned Angel about Fred’s well-being: “Nice, but not making any giant strides towards mental health”, sounds familiar…
• "Thanks for the head bro" And he was worried before about his comment coming out wrong?
• It really is the TV licensing rules isn't it?
• Ooh look, Fred’s first scene as a regular and she’s already perfected “irritating”  How true
• For someone who’s been living on tacos, Fred is painfully thin.
• No, a picnic would have had more ants.
• Her vision is so bad she gets thrown out of her shoes? Actually those visions are actually beginning to look very painful.
• "The blonde, she's the worst" aren't they all? Yeah, how many times have we heard that one before?
• In a strange way, I admire that guy for being honest enough to say "her" Sorry Di, I don’t agree with you. The whole “I’ve said I love you but I would quickly give you to a bunch of vampires” thing would qualify as an immediate dumping. From the top of a tall building… Well, obviously if he did it to me, I'd be helping the vampires out as they ripped him to pieces, but I can't help thinking that if someone told me "It's you or them" I'd be pointing backwards frantically going "them, them, them!"
• I need to get me a ghost too, so handy around the house, do you think he Hoovers too? Everyone needs a ghost like Dennis. If he could mark books as well, that would be great. Only, Dennis is decidedly a boy ghost, so, wouldn’t there be privacy issues, especially in the bathroom. I mean, how much is he allowed to see?
• Oh, there’s more to life than poetry.
• "Troubadour" well, fair enough
• His accent's had some work. Unfortunately he’s still wearing some poor bedraggled mammal as a wig
• "The New World" says Darla, dismissively, despite the fact that she's actually from there
• I’ve forgotten how much I miss Angelus, actually. But not his wussy companions
• I'm not impressed by the window-breaking, Giles did that. And just for his one night stand. Also, at least Giles had to face the possibility of alarms. This is about as risky as breaking the window of an abandoned shed in the Himalayas in the dead of night without the annoying yak he has beside him to give him away
• Re: Holtz – No Yorkshire man would be caught dead in that hat
• Back in the black. Like a really poor cover of an AC/DC album
• Ooh! For the first time I have hair like Cordelia.
• There wasn't much he could have done if he was there, except maybe given her a bit of a push
• “There are worse things than death, Angelus.” Yeah, like a Country Music Festival.
• No, what we go through is far more disgusting. And a lot less convenient. But just about as mucusy
• "I Left My Heart In San Francisco"? Yeah, because I needed the 'Comes A Horseman' flashback there. For me this was like Martine McCutcheon’s ‘Perfect Moment’. I was bored rigid before the first line was even finished
• I swear Lorne’s nose was smaller last season, it practically reaches his chin now!
• I love Merle. I’ll miss Merle
• Leather coats must be compulsory for vampires.
• Good shot with the extinguisher. Not the most aerodynamic of weapons.
• "Over" in the sense of 'there'
• Ok, I get why staking him doesn’t work (the heart not being there to put wooden stake through) but surely he’d still crisp up in the sunlight?
• It’s so petty of Cordy to stick out her tongue like that. Well done my girl
• Love that, he's like a human fly. Only without the fluorescent orange Velcro suit
• Does he give the guy his crutches back? Because I know Angel has a tendency to wander off after a fight without thinking of things like that
• What is up with Cordy’s hair in that last scene?
• Ah, the obligatory group striding shot.
• You know, I could never stick things down my bra like that, I'd never find them again. I'd have to stretch the elastic and shake and hope it fell out. Like when you get straw down there. Or cardboard, or god forbid, Mollichop, which is really unpleasant, as it's sharp, yet kinda sticky
• Jesus Christ, what's she having, a hippo? Doesn't say much for Angel's genetic makeup if she is. She's nursing a little brontosaurus in there. Wooly mammoth, because you know, of the tusks. But they point the wrong way. Well, it'd need some orthodontist work. Although the hair's about right. Having mental images of a little wooly mammoth with it's fringe gelled vertically upright. And a brace. I bet it got picked on in school. Or possibly not, on account of it being a mammoth
• I know pregnancy is natural, but no woman should be that big and still be able to walk unaided.

• I know that guy. I'm sure the last time I saw him was in a Starfleet uniform, but beyond that... I know what you mean. Hmm, that lawyer isn’t the most evil enemy they’ve encountered, although he is the least messy – he’s not an exploding pus demon, or something like that.
• Spray-On Earthquake Proofing, from Ronseal. Does Exactly What It Says On The Tin. Just spray on and in half an hour your building is earthquake proof and protected
• Well, she's moving on, that vision nearly threw her out of her top
• Anyone with a stomach like that should have the claw marks too. Not so happy to wear those midriff-reveling tops are you now, eh?
• Not bleeding much for very deep scratches. She needs my lipsalve with the magical healing properties. Your lipsalve has magical healing properties? I'm not kidding, really it does
• How come Angel doesn't smell the blood on those gashes?
• Oh look, Gunn’s been promoted to driver.
• Jeez, the reason why the thing you’re looking for is always in the last place you look is because when you find whatever the hell it is you’re looking for, YOU STOP LOOKING. It’s not a hard concept.
• Angel doesn't seem to have many scruples about who he hits, his girlfriend, his one night stand (pushed her through a glass window), old people and soon a pregnant woman. It's just children and small animals left. Oh, no, wait, there's that puppy he nailed to a…
• No, you have that office because Lindsey walked out. No, you have that office because Lindsey quit. Fringedwellings also available in stereo... Yes Lindsey gave his flesh and blood for the firm, hence the office but what did Lilah give, except brainless ideas?
• And Lindsey never had little Turkish men and/or Saracens supporters in there (as far as we know)
• Lassie was really a Laddie, right? Right. Called 'Pal'
• If Dennis can open doors, why can't he catch Cordy when she falls?
• I know why Cordelia is all pus-ridden, but why is she hoarse?
• "Talk" as opposed to going out and finding a cure
• I used to feel like that at exam times.
• So they're just going to retune Cordelia and hope Terry Wogan doesn't have the same effect? (Yes occasionally I too wake up to Wogan). Me too, although I work so late I usually wake up to Ken Bruce, or Jimmy Young. Gaahhh! That must be really upsetting, waking up to Jimmy Young
• "Could sing" he can't
• Sorry, but Job had it way worse. Sitting on a pile of dung for a year? I'd take skanky scabs any…what am I saying? No I wouldn't! Actually, it makes me very happy to be a person of the non-fictitious variety. We have it much easier, especially when otherworldly powers are involved
• 'The Sound Of Music' is kind of hypnotic, if you walk into a room and it's on, you can never turn it off. No, I can and have turned off 'The Sound Of Music' also 'Seven Brides For Seven Brothers' It's the unfeasibly red hair
• "Trying to help" he's got to stop doing that. It never works out well
• I knew there was something freaky abut Saracens supporters
• Actually, I think Lorne's nose got smaller at the end of the season and it's gone back to how it looked at the beginning
• "Needed a man" unfortunately all she had was him
• Poor Cordelia, Gunn and Fred are her nurses.
• 'Fire?' You can see Angel at once considering the possibilities of his exceptionally flammable hair
• So, Angel needs an asbestos sword?
• Checks his pocket for loose change. "Keys, where did I put my keys..?"
• "Hi, my name's Angel, and I'm really badly superimposed"
• Could they not just play scissors, paper, stone in situations like this? I think it's discouraged, besides, how's Angel going to mime anything but rock?
• Doesn’t Skip look like a big door knocker? I like Skip. That sharp looking horn/blade thing on his shoulder looks very impractical. Imagine rolling over in his sleep, or if he's startled by something behind him, or even if he wants to express sympathy by cocking his head - he'd get stabbed or sliced every time. Evolution was just having a laugh at him, I think
• That guy's going to come back to haunt them, the eyebrows at least. Just the eyebrows? By themselves? The eyebrows of doom! Doom I tell you, doooom! Don't shout me down for saying this, but Daniel has the quintessential eyebrows of doom. There's something just fundamentally not right there. Our Daniel? Hovering electric jellyfish Daniel? Besides, he has them plucked to keep them that shape
• The fringedwelling for the next few minutes might be a little vague as Lizard has just nuked her garlic bread and the flat is so full of smoke it's getting difficult to see the TV. And the smoke is taking on kind of a garlicky texture
• See, this is why Lilah is just a crap villain. She's terrified of Angel. Lindsey would have turned up alone
• “Damn,” thinks Lilah, “The valet is going to take ages to get all that brain out of my car.”
• She's going to give birth to a hippo, she'll need some help
• Oooh! Old Shaman guy was in 'Quantum Leap'! He was the quirky but respected Indigenous person who highlights his people's plight to the already ridiculously liberal Dr Becket. God I love that show!

 

That Old Gang Of Mine

 

• If he was really Neanderthal Boy, he wouldn’t be able to read.
• There are demon psychotherapists? ‘I want back the 3 months I spent in therapy after being hung upside-down in a sewer.’ Also the $3000 he spent in shampoo and soap getting rid of the smell 
• There was a perfect opportunity to get Gunn's kit off there and they didn't take it. My worries about Wes that were dispelled in 'Guise' have just been transferred (and this ep was so written by a man) Yeah, the whole script suffers from serious testosterone poisoning. It’s just one scene after another of macho posturing, briefly interrupted by big boobed women with nothing on their mind but bonking Angel
• I like the way that the only light source in the room bounces off Gunn’s head.
• I like the pointing. That was a nice touch. Horrible way to go, but so funny
• Yeah, doughnuts always help.
• "Ruled Out Suicide" yeah, no note.
• Wesley's suede jacket is nice
• Gunn suddenly gets a personality – no wait, that’s just clichéd attitude
• Classy. Wine bottles and candles, for that authentic Italian taverna look
• "All about" but not what he looked like, obviously 
• They only go around at night, why would they care how sunny it was during the day? They'd be better off somewhere equator-ish which doesn't have very short nights in summer. Finnish vamps have to go hungry for the best part of six months
• Shrubs can be funny. "We want, a shrubbery!" See, that was funny. It's just that their stand-up routines aren't fully appreciated
• One look in a mirror in Pylea and the man suddenly starts using charm and grins to get what he wants. He really was overly impressed with himself
• If they want him to think he isn't evil he shouldn't be wearing the leather pants. He's wearing leather? I missed that. Fake leather, the sun just glinted off them. Are you sure? We can rewind and check, but yes, he's wearing plastic pants. Okay, that's never a good sign, do vampires have those sorts of problems? Do I want to know? Okay, after rewinding yep, definitely leather trousers. And kind of tight ones too. I can't believe I missed him in leather because I was too busy typing. Can we rewind it again?
• Leather trousers! Leather trousers! Oh, I’m a happy girl.
• You really want Gunn in there first, cause when the blood drips off the ceiling onto his head, it'll just wipe off
• Apart from the mucus, I thought that demon was quite endearing
• Put it on retainer if it's on your side
• Too much 'Star Trek', "fully assimilated" is always a bad thing
• That's not encouraging, Cordelia
• She's better than Angel, and she isn't singing Manilow either
• How much does Diminuendo want to be Fred in this particular episode? That would be impressive if she weighed more than about eight ounces, although I'm really depressed that the only person who's ever done that to me is Lizard when my back crapped out in the cinema and I couldn't walk
• His best friend's not a  vampire. He is English though...
• No!!! Nooo!!! Now that’s real torture, being kept prisoner by a man that can’t enunciate trying to sing a Bette Midler song.
• Really, that's not necessary, you could have just unplugged it
• See, now I want to know what that little shit did in Miami
• Angel's vamp face has no eyebrows. How come I never noticed that before?
• Damnit! I should have patented that ‘Mmmmmm Angel’ thing! Tobin will testify that I said it long before those hussies pilfered it!
• How many times can they kill him? There really only  is one person going to get out of there. All the others can do is hoover him up after. It's not like they could even stab the Vax
• Surely this is a "point the crossbow at the floor" situation?
• Okay , that was COOL! You gotta love that! Well done that giant green cockroach.
• That'd be far more impressive if he didn't have to get in a yellow cab afterwards
• Lovers' tiff?
• Whereupon, the fact that Angel can trust him will be completely irrelevant. The Dust That Trusts!
• That’s not the first time Angel’s made a comment about his friends having to dust him one day – please don’t let that bode.

• What a shock. Angel likes the rock like emoting of Charlton Heston. Like attracts like I guess
• Gunn is an unflappable man.
• Eeww, he's all horrid and veiny looking. Snigger. He has man-breasts.
• It still looks like Wesley's naked on the titles. He's not. Are you sure he's not subliminally naked for just a few frames? Not obsessed much are you, not at all. You know, everyone is naked under their clothes. If that helps at all.
• Oh it's the Rob Lowe shot
• God, it’s like trying to have a conversation with Bitca when she’s talking about a conversation she had with you three weeks ago in her head. At least she changes subject at the end of each sentence, my old employer used to do it mid-word
• Angel still hasn’t perfected nonchalant
• Doesn't happen often, but Cordelia deserves a round of applause
• The lengths men will go to to avoid awkward conversations.
• Lindsey's office
• Angel might not be able to, but Gunn, Fred or Cordelia could. And Wesley. I don't know, depends on his visa status I suppose
• "Died" you can tell because of the words "mysterious" and "death" at the top of the page
• Like he would say “Yes we do encourage our customers to shoot up as much as possible.”
• Something vaguely familiar about 'room 316', but I have no idea what (and not 314, something else). Again, me too
• He's worryingly good at the lecherous thing. David Boreanaz does lecherous very well. I think it’s a natural talent. As an avid gossip reader I happen to know (because I’m sad and have no life) that he spent the millennium at the Playboy Mansion, where I suspect his main activity was leching
• I love the ‘Senior Associate’ title on Cordelia’s cards.
• Obviously indeed
• I'm 22 and I still have to go through all that before I can successfully get out of a chair
• Bless, the old guy even stoops like Angel
• Marcus can’t spell – there’s no ‘c’ in woman for a start.
• I'd be so tempted to drop ice-cubes down the back of his neck while he was asleep
• Extremely pert arse just drifted past the screen. Are you still conscious Di?
• I love the body language in the breaking up scene.
• Okay, now Angel's lucky he's still got all his parts (or all those he had before he thought Gunn was the delivery boy)
• Oh, so men are dogs for wanting to interview the hookers but Cordy was Mother Theresa interviewing those studs. Absolutely. Why, do you think that's somehow hypocritical?
• If that was Angel, I'd have assumed he was just playing with the shredder. No, it might give him a happy and before we know it, leather trousers and heads on pikes
• Love the Martini. Nice touch. And the olive, nicer touch
• Right plan. Wrong lawyer
• Congratulations to Lilah for ripping at his clothes like that.
• At least now he doesn't need to have that little talk with Fred
• Well, he was fairly close that time
• He didn't try the heart attack, it wasn't like some kind of promotion at the supermarket
• The lift doors are going to shut on her head if she isn't careful
• Oh. My. God. Is that what David Boreanaz thinks passes for cool?!
• Okay, those fake leather trousers really are quite clingy, could he not perhaps, just lean over the bar a little so we could see them a bit better? And maybe jive to the music. You’ve got to love those trousers. He should bend over more. Or see if the director could maybe do the 'Absolute Power' shot...
• Hey, Tobin, did that ‘Nice’ remind you of any past demonic housemates at all?
• He had sex on Wesley's desk?? Eeewww!! I had plans for that desk. Now we'll have to use the rug instead. I can't believe he had sex on Wesley's desk. Well, he doesn't have one of his own. He's got a little folding table. He can use that. He didn’t actually have sex! Just the kissing and groping bit. Plus, he’s not a light man, the folding table might not take his weight. Just the groping bit is enough to put me off thank you, besides, those trestle tables are a lot sturdier than you'd think. This must be Tobin's dream, not only does she get to have sex with Angel, but afterwards she gets to call Viking Direct and order loads of replacement stationery. Oh, yes, lying there in post-orgasmic bliss, idly flipping through the ESPO catalogue... We don't use the ESPO catalogue, could I at least have one I've heard of? Of course, if you have an actual preference in stationary suppliers, a particular favourite... I'm not going to come out of this well am I?
• Would a stun gun work on a vampire? Surely there’s no working nervous system to disrupt.
• "Never use it" oh, cheap shot, coming from you. Really crappy dialogue too
• They’ve really kept Fred in the dark about Angel, haven’t they.

• This is like one of those body-swapping episodes, only without the body swapping part, just the impressions
• Cordelia really cannot bend over in that skirt and sensibly refuses to try. 
• Okay, that was uncannily accurate, right down to the overhanging forehead and the crotch-level hemline. He’s got a really good forehead impersonation going on there. Good reflexes too, because he actually returns Cordelia to the upright position instead of dropping her on her arse. 
• Like the smug "right" as Angel leaves
• Wesley's inventory, every now and then I do this with my video collection. And make sure they're all labeled right, and that the boxes match
• Poodles are evil and deserve to be speared. 
• If I had to explain to my parents why I hadn't seen them in five years I'd run too. I get enough crap if I manage to stay out of contact for a fortnight
• He actually said “Y’awl”. That should be illegal. Especially since it took a good week to just get the one word out
• Gunn is really impressed by that envelope detective. Who did send the letter? They seem quite sure it wouldn't be Fred. And how did the detective track her down from an unaddressed envelope?
• Lorne's let himself go since the last time we barged in on him in the middle of the night. Just look at that dressing gown...
• No! Our massacres are fantastic. And since it's gone Valentines, we're owed a third...
• You would have thought Gunn and Angel would have helped put the bar back together since they were partly responsible for it being trashed in the first place
• How long did it take them to get that three second shot of the rat? They must have had a professional rat wrangler in.
• Note that Wesley is cast as Mrs. Bickerson by Cordelia. Pure coincidence. Means nothing
• That's nothing compared to the yell I tend to let out when my phone battery runs down and it suddenly beeps in the middle of the night
• That’s good reception for a sewer considering I couldn’t get reception in my university housing last year. 
• You can call yourself anything, it doesn’t mean you are it. 
• Nice to see that Lorne can hold a grudge like the rest of us
• I love how the Host gets to act all 'More Knowledgeable Than Thou' but never has to actually prove it cos 'It's not your destiny to know yet'
• Generally, when you freak out the obligatory freaky guy at a public convenience, it's time to go on Prozac
• Yes, but Angel has an over-inflated idea of his own fighting skills and really can't be trusted on to make judgements like that
• Now that’s the right way to squash a bug. 
• Did Fred's mum hotwire that bus?
• I’d be there for the ice-cream too. 
• Tantalisingly out of focus, does that count as a tick?
• I would be more worried about the imported beer drinking (and obviously the golf)
• Ugh. Golf bonding. 
• And they taunt us with Fred-departure and fail to follow through. 
• I hate it when people who are referring to themselves in the third person suddenly switch and start using the correct form, it’s very off-putting. 
• "Rented out" that's nothing, my parents waited till I left then redecorated
• Could Cordy have been less convincing about wanting Fred back? She grimaces for all of us
• Wesley’s subtext rapidly becoming text there. 
• Shouldn't they still be killing it? Because, well, giant killer bug demon
• I love random thoughts like that.
• First naked tick! I feel it needs pointing out that by this time last season, we had seven...

• She waits until now to be trained? I would have put in a request long ago. I’m not big on the whole wait-to-be-rescued thing. I’d get bored too easily.
• Handy advice from Cordelia. 
• That looked impressive but I’ve got the sneaking impression that Diminuendo is banging her head against a wall about now… 
• Okay, see me in abject despair, Angel teaching someone to fight, please no. Although she has much better balance than he does, the moves are still appalling, they look pretty, put in an actual fight situation they wouldn't stop a fly. The cheerleading would actually help though, as does the ability to fish, play tennis, horse-ride or mambo. The ability to tap-dance is an actual disadvantage, in sword-fighting as in life
• Gavin has very Spike-like cheekbones. 
• Ok, I know this is going to come out wrong no matter how I put it, but I don't think that Billy earned his place in a fiery box in hell. Ok, yes he does but you'd have to put lots and lots of men in there who hold the exact same opinion. I just figured you got your own fiery pit in hell for something worse, you know, genocide, men who start wars, I don't know, something less…mundane; and don't think it doesn't sincerely pain me to admit that my sex being beaten by men is mundane
• Cordelia would be the only one that noticed because Fred is rarely in touch with planet Earth and Angel and Gunn are handicapped by their y chromosomes. 
• Could we quit with the blame and the guilt and maybe get on with the crime-solving?
• How many door repairs is Angel responsible for? Although after seeing it done on TV so many times, I want a go at kicking one in. 
• Not so much a dramatic entrance, more of a dramatic stand
• “You have the right to accidentally fall downstairs at the police station. You have the right to have boiling coffee accidentally poured over your genitals. You have the right to be kept in a cell with a 300lb male bodybuilder called Martha. You have the right to the most burnt out, alcoholic junkie of a lawyer we can find for you at two o’clock in the morning.” 
• Wesley’s going to use Riley’s old “Contents of my pockets TM” scientific analysis kit, is he? 
• Very appreciative look from Wesley at Angel running
• You’re right Lilah, you’re not Lindsey. You’re taller, for a start. 
• Wonderful, epic, shoe bitch
• Waving my little flag of sexual equality, that's really not very nice for a guy either
• Cabbies reunion meeting, that's just too cool. (Re: Cabbies) See what I mean, it's not as unusual as an attitude as men would like to think
• That's a really clumsy sound edit with the music at the party
• Why are the cells moving? Blood cells aren't motile
• Okay, that was an non-sequitur of epic proportions
• Taking the outfit off isn't going to make it any LESS provocative
• "Wired" yes, to their balls, making them very immature grown men
• All credit to Alexis Denisof for doing an excellent evil Wesley. 
• Not that I'm a big advocate of meeting violence with, no actually I'm a huge advocate of meeting violence with violence, and I would have smacked him the first time he touched me or possibly at the "smelling the way you do" remark. Well, it's the quickest way to make them learn
• Oh, I'm putting in the 'In The Company Of Men' quote here, "Never trust anything that can bleed for a week and not die"
• Umm, pets?
• Wow, Angel looks so short next to Billy's cousin
• Angel is melodramatic, but he does it very well. 
• If he was a women, he'd be Joan Crawford. Definitely. 'Mildred Pierce' Eh? I was thinking 'Baby Jane' Mildred Pierce wasn't a psycho. No, but it was one long melodrama. Oh, you mean Angel, I thought you were talking about Wesley
• "I'm a man" horrible Def Leppard comedy moment there
• Yes, but your axe is so blinding...
• Oh you knew it was coming, here’s Tobin’s Rant Of The Week: I am so fucking sick of this whole Eve analogy that every misogynistic bastard with a Bible brings out every time he goes schizo. I hate to break it to them, but the Bible does not contain the literal truth. The things inside are stories, fables, apocrypha, legends, fairy tales. They aren’t really real. Maybe some are loosely based on historical events but these stories have been told, retold, translated and retranslated so many times that any tiny shred of truth has been beaten out of them. The one thing that all these stories have in common is that they were created by men with a social agenda, an agenda that involved keeping women in what was deemed their rightful place. You want women to be second-class citizens? Make them responsible for unleashing evil on the world! Reinforce this retarded dogma by making sure that your national religion sanctioned this degradation for centuries. Women have got the pointy end of the historical stick because men cannot handle the fact that we are different from them. Yes, we bleed. Yes, we are smarter than you. Get over it, before I make myself world dictator and banish you all to the moon. (And don’t think I wouldn’t, or couldn’t, do it.)  Besides which, all that story means is that men saw women do something stupid and then were doubly idiotic and repeated what they saw. To quote Mae West 'When women go wrong, men go right after them.' So really, who's stupider?
• The problem with your sex is that y chromosome. 
• Good shot! Nice aim, Cordelia! Taser those testicles. 
• Bloody hell Fred, never run up, run out.  I thought the Buffyverse was created to demolish that kind of foolishness in fictitious women
• He's just really not a people person is he?
• I'd feel superior because I'm a woman and you're a piece of scum
• Are there any un-phallic weapons? Nope, all invented by men as penis extensions. Incidentally, if you want proof, and a clue towards the size of James Cameron's toger, check out the guns in 'Aliens'
• NEVER say "you don't have the nerve" to a woman
• So what happens if he touches a woman? Do they suddenly start boiling people's rabbits?
• This episode made me so aware that when people touch you they sweat all over you. I'm moving into a solitary room with cable tv. ASAP
• Plan B is panic. Always panic. Although, if you've got two guys doing the over-masculine psycho thing, it's far more likely that they would beat the crap out of each other for the privilege(!) of knocking the girl around, so they'd take each other out
• Random The Almighty and 'Comes A Horseman' moment, two minor freaks for the price of one
• 'You've got no power over me' Angel has been watching 'Labyrinth'. I think it must have had something to do with David Bowie in those tights…
• There has to be a 'The Shining' outtake there, you just couldn't resist it. "I'm doing the Martin Sheen shot, George." Yes, he must have done it, even just quietly under his breath to get it out of his system
• It’s amazing how a large blunt object to the head - chair leg, fire extinguisher - will sort things out. 
• Yes! I can't believe I just cheered someone hitting Wesley but that was so cool
• It only hurts when people prod it, Fred. I suddenly noticed that beaten up people have red marks for days instead of the more traditional bruising and it occurred to me that this may be because they've run out of purple and blue stuff a season or so ago
• Somehow I feel strangely liberated after this episode. Not only can women outwit, out-plan and out-think men, but we can shoot, taser, trick and beat them with large heavy objects as well! Yay!

• Run Angel! Run!
• Why would vampires be in Rome? 
• Nice tinted shades for 1771. Did they have sunglasses in 1771? 
• Why do people speaking in foreign in these things think that just because you can't understand the words you can't infer from the tone? The Cardinal sounded as sympathetic as if he'd found out Holtz's horse had died
• He's threatening Angel with a toasting fork. Pitchfork I think. No, I know pitchforks, I've had a lot of experience with pitchforks, that's a toasting fork
• Why ponce about with the torturing and not just stake him? Holtz really can’t want him to die as much as he claims he does. 
• Aren’t the vampires at risk of friendly fire from those fiery arrows? 
• The only time Darla's hair ever seems clean is when it's a wig
• Anyone else expect that bus to explode?
• Although I know that Wesley is clothed on the titles, and I have no desire to see him naked at all, I did feel that subliminal nakedness that Diminuendo was talking about a few episodes ago. 
• Oh, Charisma Carpenter is going to regret that fringe. 
• Oh my god, I've said it before, I'll say it again, Charisma Carpenter CAN'T ACT
• Wherever the Legion of Nerdy Doom shop, Wesley must go there too. I do like the way that Gunn really spoils his fun by just opening the door, though.  Shame the exact same joke was done not half an hour before by the aforementioned Legion
• That window glass nearly came out of the frame when Wes pulled the cup off it. I'll say it again, can nobody in America build?
• That was me Tuesday night, "If I was a Young Person's Railcard, where would I be?"
• Gunn demonstrates hitherto unknown circus skills, although this must be one of the few times the ability to juggle actively helps in the demon-hunting business.  Again, same joke in less than an hour
• I've had that conversation with my physio "Damnit, I don't bend there!"
• Why would you want to kick up in that situation? If you're not possessed of super-human strength or balance, much better to drop and kick down, take their legs out, then stand on their larynx. There's going to be a lot of this advice if they continue with the fight lessons, feel free to flip past it
• Then, of course you have to consider the date that the person who wrote the prophecy was assuming for the change over between the Julian and Gregorian calendar, or if they compensated for the change at all (so yeah, I'm reading my new copy of 'Foucault's Pendulum'...)
• I love the off-screen chorus. Nice to be validated
• They seemed more shocked by the fact that she's Darla than by the fact that she's pregnant. Maybe the fact that she is a different shape is what threw them…
• Okay, up there with "last time you were a robot you didn't figure it out right away." "Not that one, the other one that died and came back to life" A love life so complicated that charts are needed. Although the pattern for small, dead blondes is alarming. Must be a fairly basic chart (this from someone who knows)
• Where does the sudden Darla sympathy come from? I know Cordy's got the empathy thing going but she's EVIL, stake the bitch, spare us from having to listen to her whine
• Angel really is a man in denial here. 
• I was wondering exactly which book Wesley has which covered vampire babies. 
• Why would the Host know what was going on? But then, he does know that Angel had sex with Darla, and is covering really, really badly. Love his surprised look
• It has been pointed out that I regularly do that thing Fred does with her destiny/inevitable speech. You know, full flow, really making your point in a persuasive, articulate fashion, and before I know it I've said something that, in English, makes no sense. Oh well, people get my point
• Just struck me that Wesley would probably be excellent at 'Call My Bluff'
• 'I got pregnant overnight' Most women do Cordelia 
• "Who did this to me" sorry, from what I remember, she was the one who jumped him
• This is familiar... This is very, very stupid
• 'If you see Darla anywhere in range…' With his back to the door?
• First year of the great century? Oh god, do we have 100 years left of this?
• Is there a gene for having a soul then? 
• Twice. They're plagiarising themselves now?
• I think I need someone standing over me sprinkling things and shouting “Arise!” to get me out of bed in the morning. 
• Everyone has a cigarette after a good ritual.

• I hate to break it to you, but that's a field. York's a city. It's been a city for millennia. Literally in fact. Although it does lend a bit of credence to my Ermine Street theory
• Why is an Englishman in York riding like a cowboy?
• She’s not trying very hard to get away from Angelus. I wouldn’t either but then Darla isn’t snacking on my kid
• I’d blanked out of my memory how truly appalling that accent is. 
• Holtz can’t be a Daniel. It’s not right, so soon after that horrible alternate universe episode. 
• The ongoing Naked Wesley saga - this week, he appeared to be fully clothed. 
• Okay, lets get this straight right now. Brits don't drink warm beer. We serve our bitter cool instead of ice cold because British beer ACTUALLY TASTES OF SOMETHING. American beer is served ice cold because it tastes like water. You've got to get some sensation out of it and freezing is as good as any. For the record, lager in this country does get served cold. Also, cold climate, icy beer when it's minus five and you've been getting soaked to the skin by driving hail all day? Not what you need
• No one can adequately explain the Beach Boys. Maybe the fact that everyone was out of their brain on drugs helps, but not much
• Hey guys, we all want Angelus. Get in line. 
• ‘No one’s firing anything’ Damn. I would have liked to have seen that
• Delivery room, midwife, flamethrower, all standard delivery equipment.
• ‘Oh come on, you’re a vampire – a punch on the nose shouldn’t hurt that much’ I don’t know, why don’t you ask Angel?
• That is the longest contraction… or maybe no one told Julie Benz that contractions are sporadic
• You need a lot of blood to sign something. More than that. And surely blood doesn't come out that bright. You’d think that they would have a pint of blood taken from them and just decant it for occasions like this, wouldn’t you? Also, that would have kept bleeding and smeared all over the back of the contract
• Gavin's such a bitch. Yeah, and he's right
• They don’t know who the unidentified woman is, that’s why she’s unidentified. The crack legal team of Wolfram and Hart, ladies and gentleman. 
• Oh dear me, I hope Darla didn't hear that. The thought of that lot with some complex medical equipment, eep! Or are they just going to get a machine that goes ping?
• Surely heads would bounce?
• Love the demon voicemail. "All in the valley of death phoned the six-hundred..." (from 'The BT History Of England In Verse', by Craig Brown ("Across the valley the touchphone blew, Welcome to the Crimea, You are being held in a queue")
• "Of course through black magic..." thank you, I like this guy
• Okay, what's the catch?
• When did Wes get trained to operate an ultrasound?
• No, prophets predict the future, psychics usually read minds
• Actually she was resurrected on Lindsey's watch. Lindsey resurrected her, but never mind
• That's not unattractive. No, not in the least
• Use the force Luke!
• Okay, so he hasn't been trained with an ultrasound. Slow, even strokes Wesley. Did that come out right? Yes, and I totally took it in the spirit in which it was meant and not the way it sounded. If he can't tell which end the head is, what's he looking at to decide it's a boy?
• It must be really annoying to be a cult leader and have all your followers repeat your last three words reverentially all the time
• Reacting like it was the second coming. Although maybe that was what did it
• Is that ruthless as in mean, or ruthless as in lacking a Ruth? 
• Surely if you're dealing with vampires, sharp pencils are what you're after
• You're being idolised and worshipped, that's what's going on
• That Gavin must have parental issues – he’s always showing off how well he’s done looking for approval
• Narrow specialty. But it's like all specialties, people are only the best at it because nobody else does it
• What was with the super slo-mo edit of Wesley completely missing that vamp with the stake? Surely a speeded up version would have been better?
• Where did those guys abseil from? Are there skylights in the lobby?
• I’ve attended a caesarean and while there was no hose the surgeon did wear Wellington boots. As I commented at the time in horror ‘there’s that much mucus?’
• That's an orange zester! What's he gonna do with that?
• Wesley's looking very cute this week. He is
• I’m curious, how much fluid leaks when a woman’s water breaks and does it stain car seats? Angel's going to be really pissed about his upholstery

• That was the longest, most pointless recap ever. Especially since Holtz covers most of it in his first five lines of dialogue
• Poor Angel keeps tripping over the bodies in the lobby ("so three shots disintegrates them...")
• That was an efficient piece of Angel-capture. 
• After drugs, Vaseline will be my next option
• Surely breathing like that would cause hyperventilation in someone who actually needed to breathe in the first place? 
• They must be playing with our minds because Wesley was naked on the titles again. I was making coffee during the titles this week, so I couldn't tell if there was any subliminal nudity or not, you're telling me I missed it?
• That’s supposed to be a Yorkshire accent? 
• Oh there's no way she isn't going to be a vampire. 
• The child annoys me. Kill it. 
• Captain of what?
• You would have thought either Gavin or Lilah would be bright enough to carry a Dictaphone for these little "I was never here" conversations (well, maybe not Lilah, Little Miss Who-is-this-unidentified-woman, but Gavin looks quite sharp)
• Still love the little matched mother and baby cages in the corner
• Holtz gave up his Yorkshire accent, that’s what he gave up. 
• He's not there for justice Angel, he's there for revenge
• Depends on the mother, I suppose. 
• Are there often bystanders?
• Maybe they could just throw Darla
• Good grief, you’ve got a car! Just run over them! 
• Okay, that was some grenade! More explosive power than a marrow on a barbecue 
• As opposed to battery-farmed evil
• It’s too dark! I can’t tell who’s hitting who!
• Okay, so it takes Darla to recognise the potential of a car as a deadly weapon and realise when the bad guys are standing in front of you, you don't stop driving. I like that she stopped to back over the guy
• Oh, bless him. 
• That poor translator is quietly horrified about the highlighter on the ancient Nyazian scroll. At least she didn't fold the corners down. I saw a program the other night about the recent discovery of the Archimedes text and some evil bugger had covered it in PVC glue and blue tack and allowed it to get riddled with mould. I wondered at the time what sort of philistine would do that to an ancient sacred text. Tonight I got my answer
• ‘More just, more fitting.’ Eh?
• How does Angel track Darla down? There must be a lot of views in LA. Although I suppose he could just follow the trail of bodies. 
• Yet another Buffy related Z'ha'dum moment
• Is she still in labour? Where’s the agony? 
• Darla would be a worse mother than me. God, could you imagine her at a Parent/Teacher evening? 
• Transfer of emotions backwards through the placenta. Well, that's new. Does that mean that guilt is just a waste product of the foetus?
• It’s a complete volte face from the last nine months isn’t it?
• ‘How hard can it be?’ It’s like people on TV just can’t resist tempting fate
• Oh, there’s a leading question. 
• Birth prophecies are notoriously inaccurate - “Macduff was from his mother’s womb untimely ripp’d!” You can tell that I’ve been doing Macbeth recently, can’t you.
• ‘I have a gun.’ I must remember to use that
• Wow. I actually really like Holtz. Does anyone else think he’s really sexy as well? Nope. No, you're on your own there
• Oh, and all over Lorne's new upholstery
• His bedroom?! Is he sure? I’m pretty sure that we’ve covered the mucus issues involved on these very pages…
• Angel's taste in bed linen obviously isn't shared by Lorne, his duvet cover is hideous, what is that, an attractive cauliflower pattern?
• How can Wes tell if the heartbeat is faint? Where’s the stethoscope? 
• How many births do physicists attend, usually? Because Fred seems pretty confident about “What we usually do...” 
• Would half a miracle be a mir or a cle?
• I know that lullaby that Holtz is singing but I really can't place it, and whenever I try and hum it through to a bit I know, it just ends up turning into 'Men Of Harlech'.
• Oh, poor Lorne! Oh, poor set dressers! I’m glad I never bothered drawing a plan of Caritas. Once sweating over that thing and then getting it blown up is enough for me
• The high emotion doesn’t play well against the rhino banging. 
• Why are they trying to break out of the one place in which nobody can hurt them? And yes, I know it's on fire, but that seems to be in quite isolated places, plus it's raining, so I'm thinking they could put it out, or at least stay there until Holtz has to leave too
• If Holtz keeps going that slowly his coat will be on fire.
• Dying in an alley - a nice family tradition to pass on. 
• Well, resurrection had one upside, we got to see the simpering witch die twice!
• Who let their baby get drenched in a make shift alley for the sake of some money and a substandard program?!
• Why doesn’t the demon just kill Angel himself? 
• Wasn't that mercy? The not killing him part?

• True, they never seem to go upstairs.
• Lorne has a point, although the sly dig at his sexuality is funny.
• “This isn’t over, is it?” no, the demons attacking kind of gave it away.
• Again, he has a folding table, go use that
• How does he know how to change a nappy? I thought Angelus used to focus on snacking on them
• The writing on that whiteboard is sloppy. They should get the kind that has thin grey lines on it like mine does. That way your writing is always straight. 
• Could he actually give the bottle to the baby instead of just taunting the poor thing with it?
• Well, junk food will kill you eventually.
• How much money are they offering?
• Safe possibly, but they'll never get pizza delivered again
• Hah! Too late Lilah, I made the Shakespeare connection last week.
• That child has its father’s forehead.
• Okay, I'm setting my stall out here, there is not a show in the world that the addition of a baby has improved. Not one. Or any kind of child in fact. They are just an excuse for pointless sap instead of plot, or dialogue, or any kind of character development
• ‘He’s more than a mission bro’ Why is everyone using this shit gangster talk? Did they all loose the ability to speak like intelligent beings when Gunn arrived?
• Shouldn't Angel be slightly worried that the child is comforted by the vampire face
• You can tell she’s disaffected, what with the bar and the smoking and the leather jacket. Any more clichés they want to bring out of the Cliché Box? 
• I've got a sister, and if she was killed by a vampire I can't see myself suddenly turning into a night-stalking vampire hunter and spending the rest of my life avenging her death. Sure I'd be upset, but I'm fairly sure I'd grieve and move on
• "Even if I don't" or of course, Angel might not hold together that long, leaving the baby lying on the pavement, parentless and slightly singed
• Files and records isn't that special, after six months I could pretty much do that with the whole print shop database, and, as a cheerful bonus, had total recall of STD and post codes for the entire country
• Do all vampires fight in a martial-arts style?
• Not so subtle slayer/watcher vibe going on here
• Gunn's catching up with his friends from 'This Old Gang..', nobody's going to get to kill them second
• Those hooded robed monks remind me of the ones from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. The Holy Hand Grenade Of Antioch Monks again
• While he packs he holds the baby like a rugby ball!
• At least he didn’t fire them
• Couple of top movie name-checks there (including an old fringedweller favourite), although if Wesley's John Wayne, who's Ricky Nelson? Does this mean that Wesley is going to waddle now? 
• 'Rio Bravo's out on DVD? I've never even seen an actual copy of it on video
• 312 again.
• Yes! Wesley rocks! And is loving the chance to use the flamethrower. I love the expression on Wesley’s face as he kills vampire number two. 
• Guest Fringedwelling from my Dad - “You couldn’t catch a cold on those bikes.” 
• Don’t worry Angel, Ask Jeeves has those answers. 
• Why is he talking to the fake child?
• And a little voice is heard - “Bigger!”
• How is Angel going to give the guy a cold? Bring the baby round and get it to sneeze on him?
• "Notre Dame," football scholarship
• The doctor doesn’t seem to ask any questions. They could have kidnapped the baby for all she knows…

• You know, I can easily imagine Bitca going to all the trouble of making up and memorizing a speech like that (Only to have the PTB blow it up three weeks later…). I never dreamt of anything so mundane – but if I had I wouldn’t have been so twee
• Why is Gunn wearing a hairnet thing when he’s bald? 
• Ooh goody, a Cordelia-centric episode, can't wait (insert appropriate level of sarcasm )
• Oh and the baby as well, this just gets better...
• She's no cleaner than she was when she went in the bathroom
• I’d take the presents over the baby anytime. Yup, me too, no contest
• Definitely naked this week
• My God, that's a horrible shirt
• She doesn't really need "personal support things", not a girl that requires an emergency bra
• I’d always try under the bed first.
• Angel’s got his resolve pout on. 
• Love the rubber duck on the bedside table. 
• So why can't Angel go and do the dangerous Power-contacting instead of sending Lorne to do it? He's too busy sitting by the bed looking miserable and long-faced? Because they could buy a Basset Hound to do that
• How come she doesn’t try and climb back into her own body? I don’t get why she wants to try and move a hunk of rock when her own wooden body would do just as well (I might have mentioned Charisma’s acting before)
• It’s Skip! I love Skip! 
• "Green is a cold colour" which has no significance whatsoever, that's just the colour the computer tints it. They let patients keep the colourful printouts of their brain scans? I don't even have my x-rays
• Jesus, just hand him the vodka bottle. Poor Lorne! 
• Why the blithering fuck did Cordy think Doyle snogged her? 
• Nice, blame it all on the dead guy. 
• That’s an evil accent from Tammy, the 1630 girl. Was that a name back then? It’s still better than Dru’s
• Okay, just lost the icky, blown-out head effect because of the pan-and-scan
• He fell from the sky, but he’s not naked. 
• This is the “It’s A Wonderful Life” episode, isn’t it? I suppose they had to do it at some point. Although it takes them long enough, the alternate universe is what we all want to see, so why does it take them 25 minutes to get to it?
• Lovely use of the pundit's magic pen from Skip, like Stuart Barnes but a lot more... sorry, a lot less demonic and evil
• A famous and wealthy actress perhaps, but alas, not a very talented one. God, now I'm channeling Bitca... See! Actually I have to admit she’s not as awful as usual in this ep, but give her a chance…
• That whole ‘overhearing the wrong part of the conversation’ is as seriously overworked plot device
• Love the “Cordy” titles. Good hair too. Wow, I never thought I’d say that about her
• ‘The girl with the million dollar smile’ and enormous and highly visible cleavage
• Wasn’t that assistant an alien in ‘Galaxy Quest’?
• No, the orange woodchip in my parent's hallway is bad, that stuff's just covering up a plot coupon. Wallpaper is never ever that easy to get off. It takes hours, with lots of steam and copious swearing
• What happened to Stumpy? Okay, what is is with guys I fancy and left arms? Although at least he didn't turn into a hovering electric jellyfish, or have his head explode. And also yippee, because what with the stubble and the competence and the excellent sword-work... very, very nice indeed. Oh, and Tobin, you're a bitch btw
• Poor nut-job Angel. 
• DB really can't do small and cowering, there's too much of him to fit in that corner
• How did Angel get the vision? Cos the slash fans must be going nuts!
• I respect Skip’s movie critic credentials
• Hang on, didn’t half-demon Doyle still get horrible headaches (and part-demon Angel too)? And how come Cordy could find the address she wrote on the wall? That shouldn’t have been there because there was nobody around in the Hyperion to scribble it. The hotel would still have been abandoned because Angel wouldn’t have gone back to it, or all the inhabitants would be killing each other because the paranoia demon would still be there. Also, how about the girl in Rossita? Surely she’s still in danger because although Wesley slew the demon in what I like to call the Stumpy-verse (Bitch!) he didn’t in the real one. A cool episode but not very well thought out.