Angel Index

Author Key

S. One
S. Two
S. Three pt I
S. Three pt II
S. Four pt I
S. Four pt II
S. Four pt III
S. Five pt I
S. Five pt II

Season Three

Go To Episode

• An actual piggy bank! I had a silver shoe 
• How long have we got before Wesley takes that baby and dumps it?
• He's had a haircut
• If they're expecting to get business from the website, shouldn't they be waiting for e-mails?
• How helpful that someone carefully filed that leaflet in the bin for someone who was being chased to find it. It’s what I always do with them
• "And an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.." No one expects an independent film-maker! Our chief weapon is plot. And character, character and plot, our two great weapons, character and plot, and dialogue, our three great weapons...
• We get excited about our web counter like that
• Any partnership which involves impalement and being locked in a dungeon isn't really a partnership
• Couldn't she have taken the knife out and still stayed? That's what I would have done
• Feel the need to have coconut shells. African swallows? Or European. Bit of a Python episode this week
• Gunn sounds like he's being stalked all the time
• If he's at all lacking the love of a woman, I'm more than happy to volunteer. Love the look. Sustained for an impressively long time too. Although from Lorne? Bit of a pot calling the kettle beige moment
• Put the baby in a cradle or something. That's why they have Moses baskets. I thought that was just so they didn't sink
• As long as the hair isn't mussed, Angel will be fine. Could you muss that hair? It'd take about three hours and a large bowl of soapy water. That or a chisel. Or the tapometer, "could we just hit you with this large mallet and see if your hair moves?" Because the localised tornado in 'Rm w/a Vu' didn’t work
• See, football scholarship
• Oh, so Lorne's the rat wrangler
• "We accept!" He was very close to losing his soul then
• Ooh, and Angel goes into battle to defend his coat
• It's just a really big 'Crystal Maze' puzzle, and they'd have to solve it in three minutes whilst Richard O'Brian played the harmonica at them
• "Vomitorium?" "Place you went to vomit." "You mean they actually did do that?" "You eat a seventeen course meal where the main garnish is honey coated ants and peacock brains... We ate, we drank, we vomited." I knew I'd be able to get that quote in somewhere if I waited long enough
• Oh yeah, that aging demon is just going to love bunches
• Those demons just got that graphics programme for Christmas didn't they?
• Blood sucking fiend? Total wanker? He's not a fiend, wanker yes... My spellcheck doesn't recognise 'wanker', or 'spellcheck' apparently
• His maths is really getting quite good isn't it?
• Alison has a fairly sensible argument, "Because you're dead! Go away!"
• No other reaction really possible there from Wesley
• In fact, that was just a jigsaw. That wouldn't even make it onto 'The Krypton Factor'
• Fred making that point very clearly
• Excellent timing!
• Again, can't use a bloody door... EVER
• Take the money
• Could they not put it back in the big case that it all fit in before?
• I know they're not exactly subtle at introducing new themes but having them curled up on a bed together with a baby between them...

• Oh, I thought that was male. So did I. Must be a low quality engraving. She must need a wonderbra, or three
• I was seriously worried until I found out what a loofah was
• This episode could be subtitled “Poor Wesley” 
• That’s a nasty fringe on Cordelia. I told her she’d regret it.
• Please tell me he's not going to take the baby to the ballet. I wouldn't know. Well, it's the next line of the song, so I'm kind of scared
• I really think we should be campaigning for Gunn to get that t-shirt off. It promises much doesn't it? Yes, and every week, fails to deliver
• Yeah, I’m not sure I’d get too exited about the ballet either. I mean, not only do you have to sit through the dancing but Angel looks like a bouncer in that tuxedo. 
• Don’t be using his own phrases period. They’re naff
• The Nutcracker is the most pointless ballet ever. What drugs was Tchaikovsky on anyway?
• She's encouraging after the wrong guy. Well, depends on your perspective. If they date, we might see Gunn get his kit off. Okay, screw perspective
• Doesn't this shop sell any nice dresses?
• The men shouldn’t have to moan about getting dressed up, all they’re doing is wearing the tuxedos. Women actually have to shop, that insidiously evil activity.
• "Coming together" well, that's usually the plan. Hey, it's my job to be crude on these pages
• He really is strong, he just moved his hair
• I have a problem with cheerleaders, any country who's dumb enough not to know when to cheer, and has to be led...
• Has anyone else noticed how heterosexually inclined Lorne's become since moving into the hotel with Angel?
• What can he offer her? A horrible death when he looses his soul for a start. Unless you subscribe to our perfectly plausible reasons as to why that won’t happen but still – why risk it? (Cue Tobin’s list of reasons). Mouse page
• What is with that wig on Cordelia?
• No, sorry, he looks like I fool. I'd laugh too
• That however, is very, very nice
• Oh, he's going to be crushed. I'm more than happy to pick up the pieces. You'd be rebound girl? Anytime, just standing behind him with a comforting smile and a dustpan and brush
• I must admit I do love Angel’s ‘back in the day’ reminiscences
• Hold her nose. Or hit her with a medium sized paperback book, that's what works for Lizard
• How can this troupe be ahead of it's time doing routines it did a hundred years ago?
• I’m betting that big red jewel has something to do with it. 
• "You don't by any chance know the way through this labyrinth do you?" "Who me, nah, I'm just a worm"
• Heh hem. Curse, anybody? Or does it not count if he’s temporarily possessed by the spirit of a dead ballet dancer? More to the point, she's got to return that dress
• Well, right awayish
• Well, they do say that babies respond to the tone of your voice and not what you’re actually saying. 
• I love the incongruous rubber duck and axe combination.
• Love the Spinal Tap reference but I wouldn’t have thought that Cordelia would be the sort of person to enjoy that film. 
• How come Fred's dress isn't falling down? I want to know where you get double-sided tape that strong. You could do with some, see if it'll stick that 'The Mummy' poster to your wall that keeps falling down in the middle of the night
• This was filmed in widescreen wasn’t it? Why do Sky do this to us?
• Would someone else’s perfect happiness be enough? Cos that would be a bitch!
• ‘Good’? Is she sure?
• Always a joy watching Wesley fence. I wonder if they let him choreograph these sequences, because they just play to his style completely, and he's so gorgeous doing that...
• I want my Wesley, bugger Riley. Don't give anyone ideas. And the maker of the crude remarks reclaims her crown
• Do love the way they're ripped his shirt open!
• He did look hot when he did that. Sorry. No, no, Wesley looked hot...
• Oh, poor Wesley. Fred is taking a gamble there, we haven’t seen Gunn naked yet
• Okay, that doesn't look like heartbroken falling to his knees, he's not going to go insane and stab someone is he?
• Oh that's just not fair! So close to getting his shirt off
• I know obsessed and all, but doesn't he ever fancy a change? Going to the pictures one night maybe?
• Feeling the need to rebutt Angels website crack, although ours isn't done to love, just to poke fun and criticise. OK, our website’s purpose is to mock, right?
• Okay, I'm confused. How does this ballet thing work? Are the whole corps transplanted from that time or just the lead dancer? And if they are then what happens to them between performances? Aren't the theatre owners surprised that they don't need dressing rooms or flowers delivered, or that they have no sets, or technicians, or lighting rigs? If it was all in one theatre they could get away with it, but for a touring company? Again, another excellent and really cool episode that doesn't stand up to more than two minutes actual thought
• If they're going to be all lovey dovey, then she can be the one sterilising his back
• Wesley really is just the most beautiful man in the world ever isn't he? He's starting to run the young Nick Greenstock close anyway. And this is after I've just seen Marc Blucas for the first time in forever as well

• I love the way that Lorne is trying to massage Angel’s ego there. 
• The Host is turning into Angel's valet 
• Actually, wasn’t he with Darla for ages? He lies. For 140 years he was with Darla. He was solo for 90 years, tops 
• I’m having an image of Angel as a blond now after that Garbo comment. 
• Both Groo and Cordy could do with conditioner. Check out those split ends 
• For god’s sake support that child’s head! 
• Strangely, I'm not as jealous of Groo playing with that fantastic mediaeval sword as I am when it's Angel. Probably because he has some vague idea of how to put it good use, although I still think it'd suit me better than either of those two...
• Handling Angel's weapon? Okay, feed the slash writers...
• What if his thing is spiney?! 
• Wes recognizes a subtle hint when he hears his desk being whacked. 
• Much to Wesley's eternal disappointment
• Watching someone eat isn’t sexy, it’s usually mildly disgusting. Ugh, for fuck's sake... If they're not going to get him naked, we don't need to know. Fred and Gunn competing for who is going to make me vomit first. Right now, I can guarantee it's going to happen 
• That was a classy bit of man-management there from Wes
• Angel is being wonderfully petty. It's a look that's always suited him 
• Angel has to fight with a corkscrew now? 
• He could always shrink it and give it to Gunn
• What is that and why is Angel sticking his fingers in it? He must be channeling my Mountie.
• Not stealthy, the demon. It clunked with every step it took to sneak up on them 
• I do love the way Groo keeps going for the demon's shins
• Love Cordelia failing miserably to run across some very soft grass in those shoes
• Self-cleaning, I like it when demons do that
• 8 years? It's not like he's rushing to commit 
• Has he tried Amazon, because they do order?
• Fred’s following Gunn around like a puppy, it’s sickening. 
• Surely you'd say G3CGC? Like MST3K
• "So the visions pass to Groo. So what?" Well, given that she's half demon now just for the sake of you and the visions it would be nice to see she's a little appreciated 
• OK, now having visions of Angel, the Animated Series. Was a slightly poor choice of word from Wes wasn't it?
• Yes, as in only one, thank God. Although I do love Angel's little moment of worry in the background
• Yep, that's where it is alright
• She watched 'Battlefield Earth'? Anyone watched 'Battlefield Earth'? 
• Groo is very sweet. 
• Um, surveillance people
• Amy Acker must have had a very expensive dental job. Every time she smiles she exposes the whole lot right up to the gum 
• I get that, hence the tall slender men with really good posture, to balance out all the generations of short people with crumbling joints
• He has two of those coats? What, one day and one night wear? Or is one in case the other gets soiled? When I buy more than one of the same outfit, I at least get different colours 
• "I couldn't be the only woman," I'm guessing it's not a long list though
• Does the brothel have that bad seventies porn film music piped in? 
• I knew the coat had a mind of its own, but I didn't know it had vocal chords
• Angel taunting a tree, finally getting to interact with something on his own intellectual plane
• A people eating tree. That surfs the net! My God, 'Angel' has sunk to new lows 
• I'm guessing Groo keeps his heart and lungs somewhere different than most humans 
• Beat up? He got impaled! I'd like to see him comeshuck now 
• She's still dumping him though, right? Since he was cheating on her with a life sucking tree demon
• They really shouldn’t let DB hold that baby. 
• Poor Wes. Again. When are the writers going to stop beating him up? Physically and emotionally? (Tip: not in the next couple of weeks) 
• I stand corrected. Lorne is now the official team babysitter
• So, I'm the only one seeing possibilities with those three, looking for love and left all alone in the hotel together aren't I? I think so

• Awww!!
• The sod just left him there, slumped over the desk
• Wesley’s neck is going to ache.
• "Road to hell" paved with frozen door-to-door salesmen
• 42!
• Don’t bleed on the book! That's raspberry sauce
• Definitely naked again, absolutely no doubt this week
• That’s right, whisper “book”. That’s the dangerous word after all. 
• I love the way Wes keeps looking at the pair of them like they've grown an extra head
• Okay, that's nice and safe. Shouldn't he have put the blood on ice immediately?
• That really is cute.
• And why isn't he teaching him hurling? Gaelic football scholarship... Although, if he takes after his dad, he's going to be a bit big for Gaelic football. As long as he doesn't take after his mother. Are you sure, because, well, skinny, blond, no breasts, surely that's just your type?
• Let Uncle Wesley pick the tux, Angel can’t wear one to save his non-life. 
• Wesley's just going to spend the entire episode sitting there looking soulful isn't he? Yep. Enjoying yourself? I'd be enjoying it more if he'd shaved first
• I'm just tense all over, wondering who's going to get that puck in the teeth first
• They photographed him ! And well too (I don't have a single nice pic of Wes, well, I have one, but it's a screen cap and doesn't do him justice)!
• Holtz has such a sexy voice!! You do know you're not well don't you?
• Possibly just inherent fringedweller-ness but when I saw this prophecy, rather than dire consequences for Angel, I just assumed it meant that he was going to turn out not to be Connor's father. That might still be the twist
• Oh, lets give the bad girl some emotional resonance, we know no kids (or musical talent), so dotty parents are the only choice. It's so cheap when they do that
• I wonder if she bought the boogie shoes specially?
• So with all the surveillance she leaves the "count me in" sign written-side up on the desk? You would have thought if they have mics then they'd have cameras too. She’s never considered the possibility of hidden cameras in that office, has she?
• He doesn't like the idea because it has a tendency to lead to them getting their life force sucked out by giant tree demons with internet access
• “I don’t see anything suspicious”, that’s because it’s dark. 
• Ooh, possibly leading to freaky carnival death
• That's not the best way to find out
• Here it comes… Freaky Carnival death! Yep, freaky carnival death, oh no, apparently it's going to be freaky carnival sex. Oh thank you so, so much for that...
• Most fast food workers look like that by about 12:30, with the voice and the glowing red eyes, "what you mean you want  chicken?"
• Don’t piss off the talking hamburger. That’s a life lesson. I’m supposed to be listening but all I can think of is “Mwah! It’s a hamburger, it’s talking!” 
• 'Cause you know, that'll make a change for Wesley, betrayal and agony
• 30 year old Scotch and she's putting ice in it?? That's fucking appalling. She is a girl. I'm a girl, I'd never do that, I wouldn't do that to twelve year old Scotch. I feel wrong putting water in Glenmorangie
• You can just see it in the scrapbook now, "Connor's first earthquake"
• Could we not be cutting anything off or out of Wesley please, I've had enough of that for one season already
• Wes is the poster god for cool these days - how far have we come from 'Bad Girls'?
• Actually, they failed in the execution of Angel, justice was pretty much served
• “My army is strong” and 1/10 of it is lying on the floor gagging right now. 
• A child’s coffin weighs even less when half of the contents have been eaten. Urgghhh!
• Save that speech for the morning after dear
• We’d be worried if there had been a Fred in Gunn’s life before! 
• "Life is funny..." he's just getting that now! Life is hysterical, especially the bad bits, even the worst days, in fact especially the worst days, are just filled with comedy potential
• If he’d held the baby over the flame it would have been char-grilled. 
• The room is still burning you know, shouldn't they be calling somebody before the whole hotel goes up?

• The Watcher looks sexy, all stubbly and brooding! 
• Wesley really should be telling somebody about that prophecy.
• No, when babies fuss, you yell until someone who likes them comes and deals with it
• Nixon and Britney Spears, yup, pretty much hell. It's harsh to mention Brittany Spears in front of a young impressionable child 
• "Plenty scared," yes, but you can tell that by the heart breaking/soul aching/lost in the dark lines, the telepathy's really going to waste
• "Using the company phones..." I was just about to say that. And yeah, Wes does want him to pay, mobile to mobile isn't cheap
• That was a really cool way to finish a song, actually.
• Good person, she's not a plural
• Notice her tea comes in a nice willow pattern cup, I bet that's Wesley's (with Holtz and the styrofoam thing, I think it's probably significant)
• Or maybe the flying nun used a really big catapult?
• Okay, could Angel calm down? Because he's starting to scare me
• The first step would be to get some proper tea, and a pot, then the styrofoam doesn't matter so much. Although I did have a minor spat because Lizard made me Earl Grey in a coffee mug about a week ago, and it just tastes wrong
• Don’t worry, that musician is ‘armless. Oh Tobin...
• Little bit of post-natal there?
• Will that blood stain the marble?
• "What's wrong with me?" We've been wondering for the last six years. We assumed you were dropped on your head when you were a baby. It'd explain the swelling
• So they're starting to find out that something's the matter with Angel and Gunn puts the crossbow down?
• When did that picture get tilted?
• Wesley's spent a long time disliking himself, he's gotten very good at it by now
• Again some very quick centrifuging and antibody detection, this time by Fred. When does a physicist learn how to do this? It was a final year biology course
• "Better, smarter, quicker" strange, because we've not seen any evidence of that so far
• Oh yeah, he’s dense.
• A buried spark of intelligence would be a start 
• Cahoots. That’s a good word.
• Sahjhan wants Angel to pay for something he hasn't done yet, that's why Angel doesn't know who he is! I think. But considering he's a time-traveling demon, it's not a totally unreasonable idea
• Wesley, Wesley, you idiot, you bloody stupid idiot, don't sing
• Run, Lorne, run!
• Nice moves on Lorne though, poor Lorne
• God, they're really not  making this easy are they?
• Where’s Wesley going to stash Connor on his bike? Unfortunately, no bike, just some horrible grey people-carrier thing
• Did Wes totally fail to read up on his Greek and Roman Myths? This is exactly how kids end up killing their fathers and marrying their mothers. Well, marrying his mother will be a little difficult...
• Depends, does he have china?
• If Lorne could get all that then why couldn’t he get why Wesley was doing it?
• I'm starting to wonder if I should move to the floor, because at the moment I'm sitting on the bed, and at stressful moments that's never the best idea. (I have a tendency to end up perched on the edge of furniture and then, when something exciting happens, lean forwards. I fell off the sofa during the Wales v South Africa match and afterwards was only allowed to watch rugby from the safety of the carpet. Did the same thing during 'Comes A Horseman' only then I landed on the firegrate and had a tile-shaped bruise on my shin for about a month)
• Oh, she's good 
• Eeeeeeeeeppp!!!! (You have to imagine quite how high-pitched that came out for the full effect)
• Bollocks to Connor! What about Wesley?! 
• Franklin?
• Utah?
• The strangest Mexican stand-off in history
• On the other hand, now Angel won’t have to worry about orthodontic appointments, parent-teacher meetings or buying school shoes.
• What kind of paperwork covers not killing a child then losing him to a temporally-displaced vampire killer through a dimensional portal into the worst of the hell dimensions? Mind you, if anyone’s going to have it then Wolfram and Hart probably will. I think you're after Form J874B, continued on a separate sheet of paper if necessary
• Okay, so this has actually driven me to the good whiskey, the Irish that usually only comes out for serious flu and falls that break things that don't grow back, and I've forgotten just how strong it is...

• Oh My God. Stop the presses! I do believe DB just acted. Emoted and everything. It must be a breakthrough! 
• I like Wes’ apartment. 
• Green, purple and orange? Who thinks these outfits up? 
• The kid won’t be scared Fred, it can’t even focus it’s eyes properly yet. They all know what going through a portal is like, Fred, you're not the only one who's been through one
• I was just thinking that the only other bald Charles I know of is Charlie Brown. I’m sorry, that was one of my random thoughts. 
• Oh, I want Lilah’s computer so badly. 
• Every permutation? I've had a go at about seventeen, and none of them were right
• We're really not missing Cordelia in these episodes are we? Until Fred mentioned calling, I hadn't even thought about her
• That's usually Angel's strong point, the dealing directly bit
• “Are you alive?” Gurgle once for yes… 
• "Size of China" strange, people usually name a mid-western state there
• “And you are?” Not tied to a chair and about to be tortured horribly. 
• Angel's had a lot more practice with humans, and yes, in this situation, he really knows what he's doing
• Yeah, press was the wrong word to use there. 
• So if you just randomly push buttons in a Wolfram and Hart lift you get to hidden rooms? Like in a computer game? 
• Like Lilah wouldn’t remember the combination anyway. 
• As always with this show - the White Room was one big fat disappointment 
• Freaky child! 
• He’s really not that smart. 
• I had fairy-tale books with really lovely silhouette illustrations that looked like that flashback
• If I was Fred I’d tie my hair back before jumping in there. Actually, if I was Fred I would make Gunn jump in there. 
• Why would he chuck his diaries? Was it just some fit of pique/clean break thing? And that diary looks just like Tobin's old fringedwelling book
• Wesley has the magic pencil handwriting too. You'd think he'd do joined-up at least
• What it looks, is wonky 
• OK, hands up all the humans in the room. 
• Why do they always cut across the palm like that? Can't they cut a bit that you don't use so much, even across the back wouldn't be so bad. Or down the side of your arm, you  get scraped there all the time. Although all I'd have to do is brush my teeth and spit, I've got those kind of gums
• Oooooh! 
• When did Wes get a car? 
• Oh, the romance! I often go back to the scene where my almost boyfriend impaled me with an ice pick to reminisce and grieve over our lost non love and happiness
• You're not the first or the last honey, but we don't all go around slitting innocent, sexy Watchers' throats
• Yeah, flit isn’t really a manly verb. 
• Hah! I knew it! Okay, so it's something Connor has yet to do rather than something Angel has yet to do, but I had the right idea
• I get how Sahjhan could go back and alter the books, but how did he get the oracles to go along with it? Did he nobble the big talking hamburger too? And what could you possibly bribe a giant talking hamburger with?
• That fight scene is so sped up. Sped up yes, but it's done for style, not to make the actors look faster, I quite like it
• Shouldn't she pick that up with an oven mitt? 
• He's not looking in a fluffy way people! Angel doesn't want him dead because if Wes is dead already then Angel doesn't get to kill him, (possibly the first person this season to realise that. God, who'd have thought it, Angel being the first to reach a conclusion...)
• Close up on the teapot to remind us that Wes is British. 
• I'm really, really, really pleased that Wes is okay, but how is he okay? He should have bled to death in minutes from a wound that size
• Um, daylight?
• Well, that’s rich coming from Angel. 
• Oh my. Some real darkness- no half arsed Dark Angel/Angelus clean cut morality crap! This is Angel as Angel, hating completely, soul, humanity and all. Hurrah! It was fantastic wasn't it? And this is me saying that
• Gee, long episode, I'm running at 43:45 here, we're usually lucky if we get to 41 minutes. Quality and quantity from 'Angel' this week. 'Buffy' should be taking notes

 

Double Or Nothing

 

• All that recap and cut to a story that has absolutely nothing to do with any of it 
• Why is everything handwritten with all those fancy computers they’ve got lying around? 
• Charisma Carpenter got mugged by a roving band of rogue hairdressers, that’s what happened. Where to start - the awful, hideous hair or the incredibly slutty outfit? Oh my god, what is she wearing! Or not wearing, mostly.
• Naked on those titles.
• Did that sun rise the wrong way?
• Gave up quick didn’t he? 
• He would have loved the pot belonging to a friend of mine, which he had to spit into when he had bronchitis, and which was helpfully labeled 'SPUTUM' in big capital letters. I don’t have a phobia of phlegm but I do have a revulsion to phlegm. Either way, the effect is much the same. I’d be hiring Gunn too 
• Lorne is such a Fringedweller. Nah, we would have all made the joke and damn the consequences
• What’s wrong with Groo’s eyes? His irises look huge. I always thought that was a half-demon thing
• How could he go to them? None of them would have the spine to go up against Angel. Holtz was his only option. Kick him when he’s down, Fred! Thanks, but your hospital visits I can do without. Bitch 
• God. Even the evil demons have English accents 
• Crap choice of music. Really really crap. Oh, terribly, terribly cliched music. And insert montage rant as well
• Gunn as Faust? 
• What would you do with another soul? Can you keep it in a shoebox or is it a freezer job? 
• I hope he cleans that spike after every blood oath. Disinfecting it wouldn't go amiss either
• Cordelia really isn’t helping. 
• Since when has Cordelia been insightful girl?
• I've got to say it, Cordelia looks awful and this is me saying this. I never notice things like clothes or hair, but she looks like she's gained fifteen years on a three week holiday
• That’s very sweet of Gunn but I would hate for anyone to see me when I just got up. It would be better if I’d had chance to shower and brush my teeth before getting surprised with breakfast in bed. 
• Pancake kiss? Gross. 
• I feel my lunch coming up 
• Don't keep them in hospital long do they?
• Well, funny you should mention it… 
• There's the strangest optical illusion going on on the wall next to Angel's head during that little speech. As they pan in, it looks as though the pattern's moving, like clouds
• I can imagine Bitca jumping to Fred’s conclusion somehow. 
• Kudos to Amy Acker for doing all that in a silly hat. 
• "Now I gotta make a list?" and I'll be adding 'pushy and demanding' to the bottom of it
• He was happy to date a stick figure though, wasn’t he? Still, got to applaud the sentiment. Shame he didn't mean it
• Angel, always so sharp, so quick. Both Groo and Angel feeling sadly behind events. Poor Groo is struggling to keep up there. 
• Oooh! And always so trite too!
• Do you ever get anything that actually does bode well? Can something bode well, or is boding an intrinsically bad thing?
• Fred has definite Nigella Lawson hair
• Love the casino floor
• He’s a very knowledgeable guy. 
• That demon is like Blackadder's firing squad - cheerfully sure you want to know the pluses of his job
• As long as the game is Snap he should be OK. Or “Who Can Hold His Breath The Longest”. 
• Aces high or low? 
• Well, he ain’t got balls. He’s a eunuch 
• Nice thinking Cordy!!!! But surely that's cheating?
• I actually feel quite sorry for Mr. Jenoff. Gunn made the deal, he knew what he was getting into, he's the one who backed out. Jenoff isn't cheating him out of anything or asking for anything he isn't owed. If Gunn was dumb enough to sell his soul for a truck, he deserves to suffer the consequences
• Eeeeeeeugh! 
• She’s making him respond to mime? Surely what he’s done isn’t that bad. 
• If he sold his soul for the truck, what the hell did he sell for the petrol money?
• Not at all sexist but - that is so like a man! I’d have asked for a convertible, mansion with helipad and the services of the Council’s more attractive Watchers! You've got a boyfriend, why would you need a watcher? Unless you were thinking of gracefully sending them out as birthday presents to your close friends..?
• “What is it about you that makes me melt?” I don’t know, it’s not like we’ve seen him naked yet.
• I should think he is taking that crib apart, he couldn't be thinking of putting the baby back in it, it's covered in soot
• I've suddenly realised, this is actually a moderate episode after a dramatic arc, not a really, really terrible comedy one! They've made a breakthrough!

• I think that shot of Cordelia saying “I’m so sorry” was only included to prevent people who missed last week keeling over with shock at her new hair during the advancement of actual plot 
• Very manly, Groo
• Oooh. And they covered her hair completely. Solid call
• This is very unlikely, most people very deliberately walk around big pentacles on the floor. They seem strangely superstitious about stepping on them. Even big tough boiler inspection men
• HAVEN'T  got
• She could have gotten a vision while on ‘vacation’ 
• Oh no! Poor Groo! And Cordelia is such a bitch!
• Excellent hat
• They need to install strip lights, when you hit them with big swords they just flicker a bit then come back on
• "More than one?" "Two at least," oh Angel...
• I thought the heart was in his left buttock?
• Salt. You need salt for slugs. Or a really big beer trap. Or a microwave, although the clean-up job's a bit messy after that 
• Those slug things looked like the aliens in Next Gen’s 'Conspiracy'
• Or of course, Gavin could just be lying. I'm fond of Gavin
• Beard! Geagghh! No! Could someone not give him a razor?! Although, depressed and alone, probably not the best gift... He could have my bottle of Immac
• Good vodka though
• That spider thing is beyond stupid. What have the writers been doing lately? Looking up naff and lame ideas, which should for preference be horribly clichéd , and clumped them all together in one plot? 

 

A New World

 

• Oh, cheap camera work. Lots of cheap camera work. And some poor CGI too. Pushing the boat out...
• Athletic
• These days Cordelia seems to settle for looking competent with a sword in a number of pretentious poses, but completely fails to actually use it in any way. 
• Don't damage Groo, he's a sweetheart!
• Really athletic
• You got something
• I know one or two choice phrases in sign language, nothing that would help though, there're both fairly insulting, and one implies an unnatural relationship with moose
• Why does Fred keep trying to bring back Wesley? After what she said to him in the hospital, you’d think she’d realize that if he had any sense he’d gut her like a fish on sight 
• He looks amazing. Apart from the beard. Most of the beard's gone. Yeah okay, he looks amazing. Wes looks brutally hot in the casual look. The stubble, the jeans. Fwaaaaah! 
• He's laughing on the the inside
• Book bribery. Wes! It’s still a book! I'd want something better than Dante, and oh, he does look fabulous
• Really fabulous
• Right, cos making him feel like a Judas is going to bring him right on board. That's bullshit for a start. He didn't betray anybody. And neither did Judas. That's who I meant. In that case neither did Wesley
• That's poorly superimposed. It so often is in this show
• Presumably the fact that it was a hell dimension explains the hair 
• Where have I seen the guy who plays the drug dealer before? Aaahhhh!!! That's... Who is that? It isn't? It is! I named my cat after that guy! That's so weird I'm having such a 'when series collide' moment. And he's going to get the crap kicked out of him. Or killed. Or attacked with a big squeezy bottle of water. Okay, that one'll take some explaining.
• Oh, and for people who think I'm insane, he's usually a lot less slimy, and wearing a hat
• No. I think you’ll find what was scary was the crowbar 
• Way to kill your own henchmen
• Also nice when they have a guy who can do the fights and actually let him do them
• How embarrassing is that? “And then what happened?” “Well, then I put my foot through the open window of my car, got stuck and had seven bells of shit kicked out of me” 
• "Only one thing you can do... go through his pockets and look for loose change"
• Correction - “And then what happened?” “Pardon?” 
• I hope you started off with your legs crossed mate
• Angel's dead already. Is that an advantage or a disadvantage in a 'move and you're dead' situation?
• Extremely padded though. Little welcome home present for his Dad. You think Angel needs a padded bra? You know, anything to help his self esteem
• They leave flea-infested stuff. Don’t wear that Connor! 
• They got him naked quick. Must be the first person to get his kit off on his first appearance
• "Parents should take, like a test" oh god yes
• "Like what you say," homicidal rantings really doing it for her then
• Good grief! What is he trying to do? Devour her? 
• Wow. Did I mention fabulous? And he's got a fancy new laptop too. Insert extremely immature giggle from me there. 
• You know, I'm liking this episode a lot
• You don't have to tell Angel
• Groo, love you dearly, but if you come out with that crap again I'll have to slap you
• "A lasso and some crazy glue," just generally? You've got to watch what company you say that in
• He's got his regulation leather jacket quickly too
• Garlic?
• Don't prod it! It'll never get better if you pick it
• Although, what the f*** is it with chopping bits off my crushes? I can't seem to have a heart-throb for more than two days without them lopping something off
• No, he could give you the old one back...
• Nice one Connor! That’s exactly where I would have hit him too! 
• Love the big red smoky cloud from Angel's shotgun wound
• Oh my God! What happened to him? I hear the sun ages your skin but - damn! It’s only been 15 years! How many suns does that hell dimension have?! Somebody should have told Holtz to pack his Factor 30 for that trip through the portal. 
• So we've had Wesley looking gorgeous, Giles coming back and Anthony Starke, all in one week. I must have been really good to someone in the past few days

 

Benediction

 

• The re-caps are getting silly 
• Some invisible vengeance-y thing?
• Was that shock sequence before the titles in case we didn’t get Holtz was his father in the re-cap? 
• Holtz really is old - peeing every few minutes 
• Yes, but home has nasty monster things and no junk food. 
• Wesley delivered him to you. Not quite the same thing (although the way he's been looking the past few weeks,  not far wrong)
• Incidentally - I don’t find Holtz sexy anymore 
• Gieger counters are standard issue? I've never seen Jack or Sam with one, and considering the radiation issues they've been having...
• Haven't seen that t-shirt in a while. Not since way back in 'Fredless'
• I miss the punch bag that we used to have in Aber. It was really useful to take your frustrations out on. And it did a good double as Joseph in our Improvised Nativity one year. 
• Oh Groo! That was surprisingly sneaky of Groo. He's way too good for that bitch. Princess my arse. Oh, poor Groo. If Cordelia doesn’t want him then I’d have him. 
• Why is Cordy getting so wishy-washy? Is this to convince us that Angel can find something worthy of love in her? Cos I found her more lovable when she had a modicum of originality. And the blue eyeliner's making her look particularly classy
• “Because he’s family” Does Cordelia have a bag full of platitudes she dips into?
• He shaved!! Whoo-hoo!!!
• Wes could at least have put his meal on a plate. He can’t let his standards slip. 
• He has really dull wallpaper on his laptop
• Where do people on TV get these fancy e-mail servers? It's sorted out so they don't end up advertising Microsoft. Particularly since this bunch have been pushing i-Mac for all it's worth
• Slightly breathy "hot" from Fred, should Gunn be worried?
• Fred looks like a skeleton in that scene 
• Ah, father/son bonding over slaughter. Isn’t that sweet? 
• Those clubbers don't look very enthusiastic. This is what happens in a club where nobody's drinking or on drugs, and there's very little change of anyone getting laid when the dancing stops
• Wes just get sexier and sexier - it should be illegal 
• I wonder what would have happened if none of them turned up?
• If Lilah wanted to know what he'd do, why didn't she let him do it?
• Did the DJ just turn off the music to watch? 
• Let the boy do what he wants, he seems to have the right idea. 
• Look, Connor and Justine have a moment of Searing Eye Contact! 
• Like the vampire who sucker-punches Angel
• He's aiming a little high for Angel's heart
• Why do men do that? Rassel, I mean? Do they realize what pricks they look? 
• Didn't take him long to get the knack of eating those. I do that to Oreos too. 
• Could the newly-found demon-ness explain the hairdo? Hair issues aside - somebody needs to tell her about the blue eye shadow and how it’s not the 1960s anymore 
• She's probably been able to do it before, it's just there's never been much incentive what with the searing pain and all. In fact she does kind of go back in in 'Dead End' doesn't she?
• Oh, that’s a manly nickname - Connie 
• It’s like 'Ghost'. Except there’s no Whoopi Goldberg. 
• Does Cordelia come with air-conditioning now? "Full package," sports channels, movie channels... I wonder if she gets free access to the pay-per-views too? All the extras? Even dental?
• Gunn's 'we are possessors of important news' cough
• That's why she said "thinks of" you great lummox
• For once, Cordelia’s talking some sense. It’s a pity that narrative imperative means that Angel will be stupid and not listen to her. 
• Hell, Justine would have gone to Utah, she must have been committed. 
• Oh dear, is this an extended ocean metaphor?
• I think maybe I'm falling quite hard for Groo, that or I just feel so sorry for him it's almost the same thing
• Well, he's got you there Angel...
• Could Connor not run down the completely empty pavement instead of using the middle of the road?
• Oops... There’s too much blood Connor. Not that bright is he? Then, consider the genetic material. It's nice that Wes had his throat slit from ear to ear, but survived for about 12 hours, whereas two little puncture wounds finish Holtz off in seconds

• Many thanks to the Year 10 pupil that lent me her copy of this episode after what I now call the Calamitous Hugh Grant ****up Disaster. 
• Coffee looks like muddy water, so Cordelia should be used to drinking it. 
• Yes, yes you can. Speaking personally, I say that Groo can rub whatever he wants. 
• Of course he heard, he's just being inscrutable
• Ooh, snarky Groo in the background there
• Was that a dramatic look into the distance or was Connor just making his mind up? 
• Wes very naked in the titles
• You've only been calling him Connor for three weeks, and he's a totally different person now, how hard can it be?
• Angel suddenly realises that a child’s main function in life is to act as a big black hole to it’s parents finances, draining every penny they ever earned. 
• Cordelia needs to expand on her number of acquaintances
• No! Not Lorne! I like Lorne! Make Cordy go away instead. Is Lorne a darker green in this ep? I think it's just the lighting
• How will Lorne disguise himself on the flight?
• Nice to see Justine isn't trying to talk him out of the 'killing-Angel-in-revenge-for-something-she-did' plan
• Distant sound of The Pogues, so evocative for an Englishman's pub...
• Nice rejoinder by Wesley. Could you narrow that down for me, because he's got quite a few in this little scene? Mostly the "on many levels and with great intensity" but they're all good
• Usually you pour the beer in the whiskey, mostly because a real drinker would have drained the top three-quarters off his pint as soon as it hit the bar. Also slightly worried because that's exactly what my Granddad drinks
• If they were going to burn Holtz’s body, why decapitate him? I think it's called hedging your bets
• Stealth!Groo with some quality slouching going on there. 
• Go on, use the words tragic farce, you know you want to...
• Wow he reads fast 
• I’m sure Connor will be blown away by that exciting eighteenth century literature. Are the books Angel liked when he was Connor’s age still in print? Cos trust me, nothing written back then was fun for a teenage boy.
• Comedy mental image of Angel in purdah. 
• Stephen wants to be like Angel? Why is he setting his standards so low. Got to say though, I'm liking Connor's ability to lie through his teeth without a flicker. Wonder which parent he got that from... (And I'm sticking with 'Connor' out of choice, not because I can't get used to it, also because I have him down as a 'C' on the naked table and I'm not changing it now, besides, we already have an S)
• It’s like one of those shooting range training exercises where images of pregnant women appear amongst the bad guys. 
• That's it, I want a Groo of my very own, if only to stop him having his heart pureed by that bitch Cordelia
• Weird tie Lorne has 
• “Angel hair” Lorne drawing on the one thing he’ll try desperately but be unable to forget 
• No, no, no, no, NO! I do not buy Angel/Cordelia for A SECOND, and you'd be amazed what pairings I've been suckered in by (Ethan/Riley anyone? (don't ask, just don't)). Beautifully edited though
• Is the conversation that Groo and Cordelia are having reminding you of that Riley conversation somewhere outside of Caersws, Di? Oddly, yes. I knew it was familiar from somewhere...
• Groo! Stay! Where's Groo going? Who else would he have to go to? Maybe he's going to Vegas with Lorne...
• Hey! Down in front! People are trying to watch the film!
• Is that 'Courage Under Fire' they're watching? I thought it was 'Black Hawk Down', but I haven't actually seen either of them all the way through, so I wasn't sure
• The kid is going to be scared of cinemas for life. 
• Nice one Fred
• What a hideously tasteless frame. And Wesley again failing to photograph well
• Okay, I've had conversations with myself, but that was freaky
• Eugh. Eugh. Eeeeeeugh! Noooooooooooooooooooo! God, I had my dinner hours ago but it’s just come back up 
• Why does Cordelia want to meet Angel in the middle of nowhere? Surely living in Sunnydale would have cured her of that
• Happy is bad for Angel, right? 
• Yay! Naked Wesley! And evil, evil , nasty vicious bitch, hate, hate, hate, but worth it for his first non-subliminal tick this season. Did I mention yay!? Or possibly mmmm... Proper naked Wesley, woohoo! Shame about the context... Did I just see his belly button? No just wishful thinking
• "Several" which in my book is one or two more than Angel and Darla's three. Well done Wesley!
• That’s more naked Lilah than I needed to see. 
• At what time during sex with Wesley did Lilah acquire a sunburn? 
• “I wasn’t thinking about you when you were here” Meow! Does beg the question, who was he thinking of?
• How does she afford that jeep? When did she afford that jeep? 
• Forgot about Groo quickly didn’t she? 
• "All about balance" how many times have I said that?
• Yay! Skip! Skip! I love Skip!
• Good guess though
• Cordelia? Outgrew something that wasn’t a pair shoes? A higher being for crying out loud?! Please! There's kind of a high-pitched dismissive short that I have no idea how to spell that goes in here. I'm sure you have one of your own that'll do the job just as well.
• She couldn't misuse it, she had no idea how to use it
• Where does Connor keep getting all these weapons? Surely using a tazer in water is a bad idea
• That’s right Cordelia, stomp your foot and refuse to ascend. 
• Another moving performance by Charisma - oh., no, wait…. Does "work to be done in the higher realms" translate as "we fired the actress"?
• I'm really starting to like Connor...
• I know he didn’t murder Holtz and I didn’t believe him 
• What’s Skip pointing at? He has no watch 
• And what - is she leaving her car there to cause a pile up when time unfreezes? 
• Love the twee fairy dust around Cordelia. 
• Handy how she chose a floor-length white nightie and slippers for the ascension wasn't it?
• Where did they get that box? You’re not telling me they do those at MFI. Could they not have got a solid one? That mesh'll rust through in ten or twenty years
• Oh crap, with Wesley becoming evil, Angel in the box and Cordelia slowly interrupting the flight plans of any plane coming into LAX, this leaves Gunn and Fred in charge of the agency, doesn’t it? Give Angel about a month to think and he'll use his head a as a battering ram, wriggle out and bob to the surface as dead bodies float
• Good revenge though. Mind you shite season cliff-hanger. Come to that, shite season. Cancellation might be a mercy. How did the writers come up with these ideas and then go ‘Yeah! That’s brilliant! No-one’s done that before!’ A tragic waste. Okay, I've held off for 22 weeks, but I've had enough. What exactly is your problem with this season? No it didn't start brilliantly, but it hit a stride with 'Billy' and has been getting better ever since. It's been cohesive, it's held its characters, it's nearly made me cry once or twice... On top of that, it's managed to pull off a huge number of things that at the beginning of the year I thought they would never manage. The baby has avoided being trite and uninteresting, I was right about them not having room for another regular and Fred has wormed in at the expense of Cordelia, but she's been a revelation and has really changed the relationship between some of the characters. Even the Gunn/Fred relationship (whilst occasionally nauseating) has given two lesser characters plenty to do and stopped them feeling like spare wheels. Wesley has finally been used to his full potential, hell even Lilah is starting to develop a point (the fact I would have rather seen Lindsey in that position is my own twisted taste and no fault of the show's). Okay, so the cliffhanger isn't of 'Smallville' quality, but the there aren't many shows out there that can end a year by putting every single one of their major characters in mortal jeopardy. I think 'Angel' is getting better by the week and, especially with the imminent total demise of 'Buffy', I can't wait for next year. Actually, I didn't think the season starters were that bad; with the exception of 'Heartthrob' and 'That Old Gang of Mine'. My main gripe is that the episodes were so incredibly trite - the body swap, the whole baby/Holtz/Justine in love with Holtz arc, the Gunn/Faust thing - or incredibly lame - the demon's wanting Fred's brain, the whole Cordy demon/ascension thing, and that god awful fucking internet dating tree! And those were the episodes where they tried to do something new; what about the plot lines we keep revisiting over and over? The repercussions of big spells, the possession by long dead lovers - they've been done before and added nothing new. But actually, it's precisely the things you liked that I found most annoying. I'll grant you that Wesley's character development had been excellent, as has Alexis' performance - but everyone else? All the other characters seem to be being forced into these 'developments' for the sake of the latest plot. Obviously, this is what television does, but the great thing about ‘Buffy’ and even early ‘Angel’, was that these character progressions always seemed organic, natural, and even though in a million years you never expected them to turn out the way they often did, by the time it happened you weren't surprised. Angel in love with Cordelia? When did that happen? Some time in the summer obviously, cos the few 'hints' last season were so obscure they weren't even ambiguous! Cordy's ascension to a higher being? Granted, the annoying wishy-washy character she has become would probably be considered a higher being but only cos they drained her of any spark or originality. As for Gunn and Fred's story line - nauseating and unconvincing and created precisely to give them something to do because they didn't fit in anywhere else. Angel himself has metamorphosed from a dark brooding hero who occasionally made us laugh with his pretensions into a complete dork whose only function seems to be to kick people's arses and make an fool of himself for a cheap laugh. What happened to his search for redemption? And the biggest disappointment of all - Wolfram & Hart. What happened to them? Last season, they were dangerous. Holland and Lindsey actually looked like they could really sabotage Angel. Does anyone believe for a second that three incompetents like Lilah, Gavin and that twerp Linwood could for a moment be a danger to Angel and co? Actually, yes, but only because the 'crew' are now more akin to circus clowns. For me, 'Angel' is a show that started with lots of promise and good will for it to succeed and then completely failed to deliver. Sorry. I'm not entirely sure if you're getting my point. I also quite strongly disagree with a lot of the things they've done, particularly the two relationships with the Angel Investigations team (three if you count Groo), but the fact is, whether you agree with doing them or not, you can't deny they've done them well. Yes, the ideas for 'Carpe Noctem' and 'Waiting In The Wings' were old ones, but they were superbly executed, and I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to film the same story several times until you get it right. 'Waiting...' particularly was beautiful, the fact that it made no sense at all didn't even seem to matter. I am with you on Angel/Cordelia, although again in its defence, whilst I had no interest in those two, that was more than compensated for by the huge amount of sympathy and interest I had in poor Groo who was caught in the middle of the whole thing, and some of his scenes were heartbreaking. Justine and Holtz? Well, I can easily imagine that you'd develop some strong feelings for someone who took you out of the miserable pit of depression you were living in and promised you a brand new life with a home and a family as well as the opportunity to really kick the crap out the creatures you hate. It's about as solid a foundation for a relationship as you can get. As for creating plots to give characters things to do, well, that's what writing a show is all about, if you didn't give them things to do then they'd all just stand around in the lobby looking sheepish. Of course, it they wanted to make them stand around in the lobby in the bike leathers, then that's a solid episode and I'm all for it, but most people tend to demand plot of some kind. Fools. I do take your point about W&H, but what else could they have done? They wanted to move on to other plots, they couldn't just forget W&H existed (one of the big problems with not taking the 'Buffy' route and whacking your bad guy come season end) but they didn't want to use them, so the answer is to make them a presence, but make them an ineffective one so you can get on with the stories you want to tell. Above and beyond all that though, is the fact that I have to go through these episode three or four times in the weekend after they're broadcast, sorting out people's fringedwellings. Usually I just fast-forward to the bits I want, but this season I have actually watched every single episode of 'Angel' since 'Lullaby' from beginning to end. The last time I watched an episode of 'Buffy' all the way through was 'As You Were' and believe me, that wasn't because I was appreciating the dialogue. I was going to add my ten pages to the rebuttal saga, but I don’t think there’s a lot of point. Everything’s already been said so eloquently! I think that this season, on the whole, has been really good. Granted, a few dodgy episodes here and there but this is the first time that I wished 'Buffy' would hurry up and finish so Sky would show 'Angel'. It’s not perfect, but it’s a damn sight better than most of the garbage on TV - 'Andromeda', anyone?