The Fringedwellers' Guide

Movies Index

Author Key

BATMAN
LOTR
fellowship
two towers
rotk
PotC
TROY
 
 

BATMAN BEGINS
 
 
 

Diminuendo

  • Young Bruce- That's a Clovis point! Well, an approximation of a Clovis point, anyway. *extremely excited by random prehistoric artefacts*
  • Prison - I've seen this movie three times now, and I still have no idea what the big Maori-looking guy says to Bruce
  • The prisoners get breadsticks?
  • Well, they shouldn't piss him off
  • "There were several of them." I was just about to point that out too
  • I'm going to stop and appreciate Liam Neeson for moment, because he's very sexy. And clean.
  • I love the way Ducard touches nothing in that cell, not even the floor, just in case he accidentally gets the suit grimy
  • Eastern Slopes - It's nice they let Bruce wash before his release
  • And they gave him some nice warm sacking too
  • Is that the same guy who asked prison!Bruce if he was having nightmares?
  • Ra's' Citadel - I'm going to have some shocking apostrophe problems with "Ra's", I can just tell. Why do people need rogue apostrophes in the middle of their names anyway?
  • I hate surround sound in cinemas. The noise of the drawbridge chains sounds exactly like there's something in the walls behind me. It's incredibly unnerving
  • Ken Watanabe is a very odd person to cast as Ra's. Perhaps it's just lingering memories of Michael York, but he doesn't seem right
  • "What are you seeking?" "But you're the one who told me to come here, I thought perhaps you'd know..."
  • "Are you ready to begin?" Well, I could use a cup of tea and a bit of a sit down first, but then I'll be fine."
  • Bruce! Poor beaten-up, snowy, exhausted Bruce
  • Bruce/Thomas Wayne - Linus Roache does look startlingly like Christian Bale
  • "Set the bone and take him for an x-ray..." seems somehow the wrong way round to me
  • Bruce has a very small room for someone who lives in a mansion
  • "Especially the scary ones." That's blatantly untrue. Scary animals aren't secretly frightened of things at all; they're not so secretly very hungry and completely prepared to eat you. Especially rats
  • Opera - I understand why they wanted to use the fluttery bat imagery here, but where did Zorro go!
  • Why not use the front door? Frankly if you sneak out into a dark, dank alley way looking as though you're a billionaire carrying cash then you deserve to get robbed
  • I think my dramatic last words would probably be "Phone an ambulance!"
  • Police Station - Jim Gordon is one of those people who has always looked about 45 years old
  • Funeral - Eeeeeee! Edge! Morgan Edge! Rutger Hauer! How did nobody *tell* me he was in this?
  • Alfred/Bruce - Alfred has a refreshingly clear sense of personal responsibility
  • Ducard/Bruce - Oooh, clean-shaven!Bruce!
  • Clean-shaven Bruce in *gauntlets*... *sigh*
  • And now we've got naked pole-dancing!Bruce (pole *fighting*!Bruce. Pole *fighting*)
  • "Your parent's death was not your fault, it was your father's..." Having just seen 'The Man Who Has Everything' this line is especially poignant; Bruce's greatest fantasy is to see his father fight back
  • Look at victorious!Bruce. He's so *pleased*
  • Bruce falling through the ice got a huge laugh in the cinema
  • Wet shivery!Bruce! A large portion of these comments are going to consist of me pointing out the various different types of Bruce
  • Wayne Manor - Princeton? He went to the same university as Lex?
  • "They just don't feel the same way." There's a University story that we really should be hearing
  • It is Alfred's family!
  • "I wouldn't presume to tell you what to do with your past..." Although you feel he's got some pretty inventive suggestions
  • Bruce wears plaid? That's a shocking and terrifying thought
  • Court - Chill is the most wonderfully cliched, degenerate-looking criminal type
  • Shouldn't one of the two DAs be Harvey?

  • Bruce/Rachel's Car - That was an incredibly girly slap

  • Two of them in fact

  • Falcone - "You're taller that you look in the tabloids." He's taller than he looks in the comics too
  • Christian Bale can appear as an incredibly large range of believable ages. He genuinely looks like a lost late teen here
  • Ducard/Bruce - I'm going to have to devote some quality time to thinking about Bruce in that black leather armour
  • "Men fear most what they cannot see." That's rubbish. I'm not at all frightened by things I can't see. In fact, I rarely even know they're there
  • This isn't the best hallucinatory effect I've ever seen on film
  • On the other hand, this is the most superbly confusing fight scene.
  • Ra's - Bruce has a black eye! Slightly wounded!Bruce is going on the list
  • So, Bruce won't kill the guy, but he's quite happy to leave him tied up in a burning building?
  • Chasm! There's a chasm!
  • I knew those gauntlets were a good thing
  • Airport - That's what fashionable looks like? That's where I've been going so wrong...
  • Poor Bruce is incredibly offended at being considered dead
  • Gotham Court - Dr. Crane is incredibly attractive. Which, since the Scarecrow terrifies me, is going to make the rest of this movie very confusing
  • "The work offered by organised crime must have an attraction to the insane." That's a surprisingly reasonable point
  • "Mr Finch! Your girlfriend's picking on me!"
  • Could Bruce see that semi-kiss from where he's standing? Where is he standing anyway?
  • Wayne Manor - Bare-footed!Bruce!
  • Batcave - That is such a beautiful shot of Bruce and the bats
  • Crane/Falcone - He's a little bit lost in all of the overwhelming rubber-eared Bruce-ness, but Crane does have utterly mesmerising eyes. Especially with the glasses
  • WaynePowers- I'm going to have to go 'eeeee!' again. Eeeeee! And I've typed WaynePowers for some reason instead of Wayne Enterprises... Actually, Rutger Hauer would make an excellent Derek Powers.
  • Suave formal!Bruce may even be better than bare-footed Bruce
  • If I was Jessica I would have unplugged the phone too
  • Applied Sciences - Bruce is incredibly excited by the little clicky boxes. In fact, he's encouragingly excited by technical equipment of all kinds
  • Batcave - Bruce can rewire *and* abseil? At the same time? Those secret ninja schools really do give you an all-round education
  • I don't think slaves would need to still be hiding underground as far north as Gotham
  • First he's in a harness and new he's gotten wet...
  • There's a company that specifically makes black rubber ears? I think working for a rubber ear company might be my dream job
  • How is wanting 10,000 rubber ears any less suspicious than wanting two? Do they get so many orders for 10,000 rubber ears that another one won't be noticed?
  • Police - Gary Oldman looks almost exactly like the Year One Gordon
  • Did Bruce bring the stapler with him?
  • Gordon should be more worried about the possibility of working with a man who discusses himself in the plural
  • Applied Sciences/Bruce/Fox - "Don't think they ever tried marketing it to the billionaire spelunking crowd." Which seems like a missed opportunity to me
  • Bruce is so wonderfully gleeful about the Tumbler
  • "Does it come in black..." I think Bruce is in love
  • Falcone/Flass- People get mugged on the way home in lots of cities, not just Gotham
  • Batcave - I think I'd have to spend a few minutes stroking the utility belt too, and it's nice to know Bruce would understand
  • I'm going to spend the whole rest of the movie trying to work out what those extendable fingers could be for
  • Docks/Falcone- I hope that was one of the good cowls
  • Rachel/Train - Didn't she have a a car?
  • Docks - That spot must be incredibly hot
  • Wow. That's such a superb bat signal
  • Bruce - Poor Bruce, "Bats are nocturnal!"
  • What's the matter with polo?
  • "Strange injuries, non existent social life..." Is Alfred implying what I think he is?
  • Bruce's Night Out - It's a Murcielago... *delights in nerdy car joke*
  • The Murcielago is almost as sexy as the Batmobile
  • Later on he'll say he was faking it, but Bruce is having *so* much fun
  • Wet wastrel!Bruce! *utterly speechless*
  • Bruce has done every single thing that Alfred suggested he should. It's like he's working off a little checklist
  • What is Rachel doing at the hotel?
  • Bruce's girls aren't really helping
  • Crane/Prison - Yep. Still frightened by the Scarecrow
  • Batman/Flass - Dangling people from buildings is Bruce's speciality
  • Narrows- I love the idea of Batman on a top secret mission to track down some stuffed rabbits
  • Honestly, why can't people pee before they go on these missions?
  • Don't wave a lighter where you've just poured petrol... The quality of hired goons in Gotham is shocking
  • *Still freaked out by Scarecrow*
  • These people seem remarkable unbothered by the sight of a giant bat, which is also on fire, staggering through their streets
  • We should have seen Alfred manhandling him down from the roof
  • Bruce/Alfred - It's nice to know Alka-Seltzer doesn't just deal with alcohol
  • Weaponised is not a word
  • That's a very mean chunk of dialogue to give to man with a lisp. From a comment in my LJ- "Some words CB just shouldn't say (I'll add weaponized to that list asap) and weaponized aerosol psychotropic hallucinogens are four of them in a row.".
  • I love Lucius' unnecessary exposition, "I just wanted you to know how hard it was."
  • Bedridden!Bruce is going on the list too
  • Rachel/Wayne Manor - This scene would be so much better if he was wearing the animated series' bathrobe
  • Arkham - "Just when he's about to be indicted." Well, it's a stressful time.
  • The secure wing of an asylum *is* behind bars. In fact you can see several of them right there
  • Never go into creepy basements with strange men. However hot they are
  • Bruce should probably have asked the questions before drugging Crane insensible
  • I'm never going to be able to hear him say 'psychotropic hallucinogen' again
  • Why can't Bruce take Rachel himself?
  • They kept his little flock of trained back-up bats!
  • Batmobile- "Stay calm" doesn't seem to have quite the right effect when it's coming from a giant bat
  • He's driving over historic buildings!
  • I'm comforted to know you can lose a pursuing police car just by switching your headlights off
  • Arkham - There is so much wrong with the water-delivery I don't know where to start. I'll confine myself to saying that if the toxin was delivered when the water vapourised then everyone who's made a cup of coffee in the past week would be irretrievably insane
  • Wayne Manor - Tuxedo!
  • Bruce is very happy to admit that Batman's a monster
  • That's not really how you pronounce it at all
  • Yes! I knew it! I *knew* the other guy was miscast as Ra's, and LN is *perfect*. *feels smug about vague feeling of unease*
  • London wasn't at the pinnacle of it's decadence in 1666 at all
  • Arkham - That's superb line. "Time to play"
  • Wayne Manor - He didn't leave Ducard for dead at all. He saved his life
  • The push-ups were good enough for their own sake. They didn't need a point
  • Narrows - "I'm a Gotham City District Attorney! Bow before me and all of my works!"
  • Water Board - This is the most exciting evening in the history of water-board monitoring
  • Narrows - If I was affected by a panic-inducing fear drug I'd be more inclined to hide under my duvet until it went away. I don't think I'd be out on the streets
  • Gordon - The Batmobile has central locking!
  • Bruce/Ra's- Bruce can be a touch over-dramatic at times
  • Gordon/Batmobile - The Batmobile has GPS! *excited by all the extra features*
  • "You have arrived at Wayne Towers." it would have been so much funnier if he hadn't...
  • Gordon should have taken a moment to warn the homeless guys that a train was about to land on top of them
  • "Have you finally learned to do what is necessary..." Bruce has always been able to do what was necessary. He just doesn't thing that killing someone is
  • Ra's! Although he is immortal, so I'm not going to worry too much
  • Wayne Enterprises- Mmmm... Slick, corporate!Bruce
  • It's nice Bruce kept Jessica on
  • I like Lucius' jaunty bow-tie
  • Wayne Manor - They've managed to avoid any kind of relationship pretty well up to now
  • It's nice that Rachel (and the writers) acknowledge that Bruce is far more of a mask than Batman is
  • Why is there countryside all of a sudden? Where did Gotham go?
  • Bruce has a kiss curl...
  • Batsignal - I wonder where Gordon ordered his big metal bat from?
  • Damn. It would have been much cooler if he'd had to tie up a mob boss every time
  • Gordon has a very good point about the escalating scale of villainy. Also he gave me the change to use the phrase "escalating scale of villainy"
  • Joker! That means they've got to make a movie *with* the Joker...
  • End - That's it. I'm irretrievably in love with a movie. That was so perfectly made, and so perfectly *Bruce* in every way. It wasn't just better than every other Batman movie, it was almost better than the animated version; and that's not something I'd admit lightly


Izzie

  • It's been a long time since I went to see the same movie three times in a week.
  • It should be noted that I did not think Christian Bale was attractive prior to this movie, therefore you have to forgive me if I get a little obsessed and start making lists and things.
  • Bruce/Rachel - Arrggh, Bats! Bats!
  • Rachel should have just left him there for a while, as punishment for stealing the thing.
  • Bruce/Prison - Oooh! Rugged, criminal! Bruce. That's going on the list.
  • Is it wrong to really, really enjoy Bruce beating the shit out of these guys?
  • Muddy! Bruce. This is going to be a very long list.
  • Bruce/Ra's - Being lost kind of presumes a path. Bruce is far too aimless for that at the moment.
  • I love the way Bruce's eyes light up when Ra's mentions being a legend.
  • Mountain/Bruce - I'd really like to hear Bruce's discussion with the prison warden..."Well, there's this flower I have to go and pick, so I was wondering if I could be released?"
  • He's remarkably well equipped for a man just released from prison.
  • We should get to see more of snowy! Bruce.
  • Ra's/Bruce/Tower - I don't know about Bruce, but I'd be seeking a nice hot bath and a bowl of soup.
  • It all looks the same once you get down to it.
  • Little Bruce/Father - They've done a great job making little Bruce and big Bruce look like current Bruce. *Too many Bruces*
  • I wouldn't want a member of my family setting my broken bones, whether they were medically trained or not.
  • It's all very well saying all creatures fear, but if they're bigger and have pointy teeth it becomes a relative thing.
  • Thomas Wayne is very smug. It's quite comforting to know his generosity is going to come and bite him in the ass.
  • Opera/Bruce - What happened to Zorro? And what kind of opera contains giant singing bats?
  • See, my mother would've just told me to shut up.
  • It's obviously not okay, he has a sucking chest wound.
  • Little Bruce/Gordon - I love this little scene so much I'll forgive the twisting of canon.
  • When your parents have just been killed everything is pretty much bad news.
  • Funeral - Garrgh! Rutger Hauer! How did I not know he was in this film?
  • Ducard/Bruce/Ice - That's not invisibility, that's just hiding.
  • I can't help feeling we've been deprived of some valuable naked pole fighting scenes. Although, they're now going to be referred to as naked pole dancing scenes, so I'm pretty happy with the one image.
  • I do like the fact that Ducard has remembered to take a mug of coffee out with him.
  • He's been waiting all morning for Bruce to step onto the weak ice.
  • Well, they won't take care of themselves. The blood supply will be reduced until they fall off.
  • Alfred Bruce - I get why Alfred calls Bruce Master Wayne here, because he's just been incredibly dismissive of the Wayne heritage, but I don't understand why he does so for the rest of the film. He's always been Master Bruce to Alfred.
  • Vulnerable!Bruce looks incredibly haunted here. I think he tops the list so far.
  • This really is the first good portrayal of Alfred I've seen. If they'd made him speak with received pronunciation I would have been forced to fly to the US and give everyone a lecture on British social structure. Although, if they'd made Michael Caine speak with received pronunciation they may have deserved some kind of prize.
  • Bruce/Rachel - Hiding things on the top shelf never works, it only provides more potential for damage.
  • Mmmm, condensed milk!Bruce...
  • Bruce/Rachel/Car - It's never enough to slap a man once.
  • Bruce/Tramp - Why did he swap his coat? He probably should have changed the rest of his clothes and his shoes if he's that worried about being spotted. Besides, it was a good coat.
  • Bruce/Travels - It's so hard when there's no one around to appreciate the irony.
  • Ducard/Hallucinations - Why do all initiations and secret organisations always involve hallucinations?
  • I had a very important point to make about Arkham Asylum here, but I got all excited about being able to make a genuine comic reference that I forgot what it was.
  • Did Bruce ever consider counselling?
  • Arrggh, Bats! Bats! You just know that's exactly what is going through Bruce's head, even if he won't admit it, so I feel obliged to provide commentary.
  • Secret organisations always seem to involve branding as well.
  • Bruce/Fight - Having moral standards is one thing, announcing them in a room full of armed ninjas is another.
  • Why haven't I noticed the leather gauntlets before now?
  • Bruce/Alfred - Fashionable for what exactly?
  • I think I'd be upset if people had had me declared dead too.
  • Bruce/Mansion - Barefooted Bruce!
  • That's a lovely jacket...
  • See, even though he's being all manly about it he's still screaming "Arrggh, Bats! Bats!" in his head.
  • Fox/Bruce - I feel comforted to know that "Mmmmm, Kevlar Utility Harness" is what's going through Bruce's head as well as mine.
  • Somehow I don’t think Bruce had thought through what he was going to say then. "Spelunking" genuinely was the first thing that came into his head.
  • Caves - I'm not sure Alfred is paid enough to stand around in damp caves.
  • Okay, wow. That's just... It would be really wrong to like Bruce in the harness wouldn't it?
  • Is there enough demand for Giant Ears to justify a dedicated company? Or do they make other giant body parts too?
  • I love Bruce and Alfred planning away.
  • Gordon/Bruce - See, if that was me, I'd be screaming already. I'm never going to be asked to join a secret pact to fight crime am I?
  • Poor Sergeant Gordon, once Batman has his mind made up, you don’t really get a say in the matter.
  • Batmobile - You can't expect him not to press the button once you've told him about it.
  • Bruce is such a car nerd.
  • Alfred/Bruce - I want to hear the conversation with the Giant Ears company. "What do you mean they're faulty? They're giant ears, what are you trying to do with them?
  • I want to know what they did with the 20,000 defective giant ears, they can't just throw them away.
  • He stroked the utility belt! As would we all...
  • Okay, that's Bruce Wayne in safety goggles. What's more astonishing is that I don't think that's at the top of my list.
  • It's going to take Bruce forever to make all the Batarangs he needs, maybe that's why he employs Robin.
  • Docks/Batman - Any crime boss who gets out of the car to investigate deserves everything he gets.
  • *Always* look behind you.
  • Gordon - Batman has such a sense for the dramatic.
  • I feel we should see the scene where Batman has to try and get down from there.
  • Bruce/Alfred - Aw bless, Sleepy!Bruce. "Bats are nocturnal!"
  • Bruce should sleep naked.
  • Alfred all but explicitly tells Bruce that, unless he finds a reasonable cover story, people are going to assume he's having rough sex with other men. Although, even if he does find a reasonable excuse, some people are still going to assume that.
  • I like that Alfred is the one who articulates the need for Bruce Wayne. In fact, I like that this film acknowledges that Bruce Wayne is as much, if not more, of a disguise than Batman.
  • Bruce/Hotel - Well, there had to be two of them, didn't there?
  • CB is just completely and utterly Bruce Wayne. I can't believe I ever thought he was a bad choice for this role.
  • It's good that Bruce accepts he's a complete and utter psycho.
  • Everything is a question of money, you just have to get the amount right.
  • I love Bruce falling into the pool in the background.
  • Wow. Wet, Formal Wear! Bruce. They had the idea of formal wear Bruce, and then made it better! I didn't even think that was possible.
  • Poor Bruce, his heartfelt speech would be so much more effective if there weren't two wet women in bathrobes waving behind him.
  • Crane/Falcone - You know, I don’t think Falcone's heart is really in the insanity pretence.
  • Okay, I was unspoiled for this, and Crane's transformation is really very freaky.
  • Bruce/Flass - I don’t think you can ever have too much falafel.
  • Bruce is having so much fun.
  • It's the final three inch drop that makes it art.
  • Narrows/Batman - If they torch that building the whole of the suburb will go up.
  • What kind of person goes to the toilet in the middle of crime? I know I would, but that's why I was dropped from my international crime syndicate.
  • Batman/Scarecrow - How did I not get the lighten-up pun the first time around?
  • Flaming!Batman
  • Alfred is definitely not paid enough for this.
  • Bruce/Alfred/Fox - Weaponised is not a word, no matter how many times you say it.
  • Rachel/Bruce - Birthday! Bruce
  • How could you have better plans than Birthday!Bruce?
  • Alfred/Bruce- They shouldn't be allowed to tease us with Alfred's joke.
  • Rachel/Crane - I'd like psychopharmacology to be my area of expertise.
  • I don't think any of his henchmen really want to find out.
  • Batman/Arkham- I don’t think I will have succeeded in life until I'm able to command a team of trained attack bats.
  • Car chase - I'm fairly certain that being trapped in a fast moving tank with a giant bat is not a very effective way of treating panic attacks. Especially not a giant bat who talks to you.
  • Bats is having so much fun.
  • That manoeuvre doesn't work so well in a Citroen.
  • Gordon/Arkham - That doesn't make any sense in any way whatsoever.
  • Rachel/Bats - I don’t think I'd let a man in a rubber suit sedate me.
  • Bruce/Party- I love that smile he pastes on when he has to be Bruce Wayne.
  • Bruce is a clever guy, he could probably understand technical.
  • Bruce makes a mental note to review the stock taking procedures at Wayne Enterprises.
  • Oooh! Ra's! How on earth didn't I see that coming?
  • Drunk!Bruce is just superb. All that bile is coming from a very deep place.
  • Bruce/Ra's - It's still not a word, even if you make serious actors say it
  • I love that Bruce is still holding a champagne glass
  • Fire/Bruce - He wasn't a very effective member of the fire brigade anyway.
  • It's not so much the jibe about the push ups that's funny, but the fact that it actually spurs Bruce into action.
  • Narrows/Ra's - Poor kid, he found a policeman just like his mummy told him to do.
  • Okay, that's going to vapourise everything and, most importantly, everyone.
  • Waterboard - And Waterboard Guy was just beginning to doubt all the promises of workplace excitement and drama they made in the brochure.
  • Gordon/Narrows - I think I'd have given myself the vaccine a lot sooner than that.
  • Batman has such a sense of timing
  • How awful would it be if you had to turn down a chance to drive the Batmobile because you only had an automatic licence?
  • Rachel - See, I'd have forgotten all about the previous conversation and spent the rest of my life trying to figure out what the hell Batman meant.
  • Bats/Narrows - To be honest, I think he took it a little too literally.
  • Run away! Run away!
  • Batmobile - The Batmobile has Satellite Navigation? I love that Bruce has selected the polite woman's voice.
  • Waterboard - He really ought to have considered evacuation before now.
  • Batmobile - Step away from the angry man in the car.
  • Erm? Aren't they the supporting pillars of Wayne Towers?
  • Fox/Rutger Hauer (I'm never going to learn his actual name) - I bet Bruce keeps a record of all his headlines, and that one is going to take prime place.
  • Bruce/Wayne Manor - It seems a little pointless to fix the hole in the ground when the entire house is burned to the ground.
  • Wow! Surprise countryside.
  • It's not so much Gotham that needs Batman as Bruce who needs Batman.
  • To be honest, I think Bruce's father would be absolutely appalled.
  • They're going to clean up the cave so he can install that big computer and decorate it with a giant dinosaur.
  • Batman/Gordon - I love that they implicate Batman in the escalation of crime in Gotham.
  • Oooh! Sequel!
  • Batman just stole evidence!
  • Okay, that was the coolest and most perfectly cast film I've seen in a long time.