buffy4

The Freshman

Sunnydale University teaches a course entitled “Popular American Culture”. Can anyone see the problem with that? Also, if they’re studying the “Modern Novel”, they would be studying books written between the 1890s and the 1930s. After that, you get to postmodern territory, which should not be attempted without a qualified guide, map, emergency rations and a flare gun.
Buffy has, for once, raised a good point – what is the nowning process? Is it standardised? Is there a regulatory body? Surely to be renowned you would have to be unnowned first. Nowned, then unnowned, then renowned
The scene of Buffy looking all blonde and confused brings back so many memories of the hectic and confusing registration days at university. The general organisation behind it seemed to be “Put six hundred students in a big room with a lot of forms and queues. Then lock anybody who has any idea of the correct process in a hidden room. Stand back and watch the chaos ensue.”
When Buffy is doing her overwhelmed bit she should think herself lucky, I spend most of my life feeling sadly behind events
Why aren’t Willow and Buffy roommates? I know that Willow’s role as computer hacker seems to have been all but forgotten in this season, but I’m sure she could have broken in and changed a few people around. Plot reasons, I know, but still.
Is Willow actually getting excited about the “intellectual energy” in an American university? There isn’t much in British ones, and everyone knows that they are better that American ones.
Alaska might not be the easiest drive either, possible, but not easy
Buffy comments that the library in the college could hold a Nuremberg Rally. Surely if you wanted to have one of those, the ideal place would be Nuremberg? Just a thought. Buffy making a Nuremberg/history reference? This from the 'reconnaissance/renaissance' chick?
All bookshops discriminate against short people, particularly when they don't let you climb the shelves to get to the authors beginning with 'A'
I love the look on Buffy’s face when she makes a fool of herself with Riley in the bookshop. I know the feeling - when you open your mouth and what comes out has in no way interacted with your brain’s idiot-speak filter.
Ah so that's how you get the boys, concuss them so they can't get away
I studied operant conditioning, but with geese, not people
As soon as that poster of Celine Dion goes up, you know where the Kathy plotline will go. Evil! Evil!
Buffy is visible stunned to be thought of by anyone as Willow's friend
"Evil bitch monster of death" ah, how well they know her
Pre-Raphaelites seemed to be the thing at our uni, Sunday would have ended up with twelve copies of 'The Lady Of Shallot' (and a big Leicester Tigers team photo, a big, naked, Leicester Tigers team photo)
A common theme during this season is Alternate Jobs for Buffy Characters. Should Sunday and her minions ever get tired of the killing student lark, then they could set up business as “Vampire Removals, We Specialise in Night Work”.
Giles has an attack of 'Friends' and leaves his door unlocked
Ooh, David Bowie now. Surely that's more to Ethan's taste?
Giles is not old and his private life is not gross
A Monster Sarcasm Rally. Oh, the possibilities.
Love the way Sunday 'makes Buffy look' during the fight
Sunday has a point. OK I'm not prepared to get all homicidal over jeans with patches, but I might over 80's hair and shoulder pads
I don’t understand Joyce’s inventory system. Surely by removing items from the gallery, there is a danger of losing them?
It's awful when parents do that to your room, although it's more annoying when you've been after them to re-decorate for about eight years while you're there, then the second you move out, that's when they re-paint. Although that might be because when I moved out I took a few crucial load-bearing posters with me, and the walls started to disintegrate
I don’t know about you, but I would have bugged Xander to tell the story of the Fabulous Ladies Nightclub incident. Personally I would have bugged him for a demonstration
I have a question; is cancer of the puppy a more depressing thing than cancer of the kitten? I would be pretty upset about cancer of the goldfish, personally.
God bless Xander and his bizarre pep talks
Buffy’s cultural knowledge, or lack of it, really bugs me. She is able to describe Xander’s pep-talk as Dada-ist with confidence, yet gets Renaissance and reconnaissance mixed up. She’s either dumb or not, make up your mind writing team! And since when would Buffy wanna-know-what-I-think-about-ambush-tactics-beheading not know what the word reconnaissance means? Dadism is a kind of minimalist German (mostly) art movement that rejects the idea of deciding what counts as art and what doesn't and allows anything to be classed as art (I think, if anyone has a better explanation then go ahead!). Buffy might mean Dali-ist, he was actually surreal
If I was in Buffy’s shoes, I’d be more pissed off at the fact that someone had stolen my stuffed toy than my diary. Nobody comes between a woman and her stuffed toy.
Why oh why are the vamps living in a room with a skylight? And to be quite frank, if Buffy is going to sit on an unsupported skylight she deserves everything she gets
She does however have the advantage of surprise "You're being attacked by the Royal Canadian Mounted Police aboard a replica of the HMS Bounty. Wouldn't you be surprised?"
That spinny-stake thing that Buffy does is so cool. I want to be able to do that! A guy I used to work with could and did do that. Constantly
More questions should be answered with a head butt
Did Giles run through the campus with an axe on show?
Awake all night doing what exactly?
Is that the same vampire that talks to Spike in 'Harsh Light'?

Living Conditions

Cher and Celine Dion would send anybody around the twist, and Buffy had every right to slay Kathy right there and then at the beginning of the episode. I know exactly how Buffy feels, the guy in the room next to me was a big one for playing one song on repeat about 18 times, at 3 in the morning. Particularly Bette Midler and 'Angels' by Robbie Williams
Everyone knows that Sunnydale is home to vampires, werewolves and other demons of non-specific origin, but this episode also names the Nightmare Fairy, the Gum Gnome and Sid the Wily Dairy Gnome. I think the Sock Monster that inhabits my clothes dryer should move back there, as should the Blu-Tack Fairy, which regularly steals mine.
VH-1 plays much, much better music than Kathy. I'm a fan of VH-1 as it has a rock show that actually plays rock and not indie rubbish that's just pretending. Although, it is on at the same time as the late repeats of Buffy, which is why I'm missing the first eight minutes of 'The Replacement'
Granted, I’m not a coffee drinker myself (although I would happily make it for Angel if that was part of the job description), but isn’t de-caff coffee pointless? You drink it for the caffeine, right? So why take it out? I am a coffee drinker of Daniel-like proportions, and yes de-caff is evil, de-caff is bad, resist the beckonings of the evil de-caff!
Why is there a bolt on the outside of the clothes cupboard door? To stop the Wooly Cardigan Gnome from getting in?
Why are people in TV shows always the same size? I don't think I could borrow clothes from any of my friends and have even a remote chance of them fitting me. I steal clothes from my Dad more than I do from my friends. Okay, I'm worried about that now
Has anyone else noticed the quite frightening similarity between Xander and Parker? They must have been separated at birth. Scary.
No, I'm voting for the scorpions
Giles is comforted by Willow's assertion that he's not creepy. Which he isn't
They must have some excellent sound-proofing in that uni if they can't hear the music in the hallways. All the more impressive since we know the walls are made of paper, even Xander could put his fist through them
I tend to agree with Oz on most things, but here I must raise him to God-like status (confirmed by his ingenious party outfit) – NOBODY DESERVES MIME. I speak from recent and bitter experience.
That bench may have been shifty, but I have a leery looking occasional table.
Please people, a plea from the heart, cut your toenails in the bathroom
I iron my jeans! Point well proved then...
Of all the people in the world to guard a deranged Slayer, would you choose Oz and Xander? Much as I love them, they wouldn’t be my first choice. Still, they got to have a shot of them on the floor that helps inspire all those Oz/Xander fics.
There's nothing like being proved right
Their porters must have gone nuts at the damaged door. Poor Kathy, sucked into hell and losing her deposit too
Giles does have shackles, unless he gets them in specially for Spike
Last year I would have loved to have been able to make the ground open up and swallow demonic housemates.

The Harsh Light Of Day

Harmony, the world’s most ineffective vampire, narrowly beating the combined efforts of the newly-turned Teletubbies.
I realise that Buffy isn’t the brightest of girls, but is “angry puppy” the best excuse she can come up with for her scar?
Surely an ex-librarian would naturally file by Dewey-decimal?
How is Anya supporting herself? And getting some really nice clothes?
He's not tolerant at all, he's just working out most of his irritation with the power drill
Seeing Harmony whine her way around the lair, I actually pity Spike.
I think she'd pretty much like it anywhere she could get it
Harmony can't vault in that long skirt and has to just slither over the sofa
Giles describes the search for the Gem of Amara as a kind of vampire Holy Grail, with “questing vampires”. Would they have a Round Table, and what would they be called? Sir Fangsalot?
This has unfortunately been excluded from contention as a "getting it" moment due to it being a gratuitous skin shot, very pleasant but a skin shot nonetheless.
Ok, here’s an opportunity for Xander to show some sensitivity; when the timer pings during his kiss with Anya, does he actually stop the proceedings to add the softener? Would he be more sensitive if he stopped or if he didn't?
She did however date his grandfather, which is something she really shouldn't be mentioning to Parker
Parker and Riley have exactly the same sheets, do they come with the university housing? The sheets that is, not Parker and Riley. If handsome naked men do come with the university housing, then I think I forgot to pick mine up
How come Giles is the only person not to have sex in this episode? Although he did get to have sex in 'The Freshman' so I suppose he's even
If Harmony can't find something to entertain her when she's in bed with a naked Spike I don't fancy her chances of entertaining herself for all eternity
Considering some of the things Buffy's found about about her boyfriends, the discovery part's not something she should look forward to
The ring must be one size fits all, or Harmony, Spike and Angel all have the same width fingers
He must freckle, he's the type
Harmony: “Being a vampire sucks”. Yes, well, sucking is an integral part of the whole vampire experience.

Fear, Itself

Why is there a comma in the episode title? It seems unnecessary, there isn't one in the quote surely?
You know, I had actually forgotten that Giles wore a sombrero in this episode, so I can actually relate to the shock that Buffy had. I nearly had a mild seizure. The fringe on it was really unnecessary. Giles should have dignity but he looks like a lampshade. I'd forgotten the "It's alahive!" line and had much the same reaction. And it's not even something you can blank, because then it just frightens you even more the next time. In fact this scene goes a long way to losing Giles a stack load of the cool/sexy points that he's been accumulating so prodigiously this season
So Riley had a freshman year? He did actually go to university and do the psych thing then? Did he do it on the army's funds? Was that where Professor Walsh first met him?
You have to be careful when drawing pentagrams on the floors of university housing, the porters really don't like it, and it's best if you do them in chalk so you can get them out of the carpet after you've finished
Peeled grapes feel nothing like eyeballs
Let that be a lesson to us all, don't bleed on the mystical symbols. OK. My question (cos I worry about things like this) would any blood have worked or only werewolf blood?
If they turn into their costumes again, Oz wins
I think just being Abbot and Costello would be traumatic enough
If you stand still and don't flail at them, bats don't bother you
You’ve got to love the bunny suit, and congratulate Anya for facing her fears. If I did the same I’d have to dress up as a hypodermic needle, or a bag of blood, or a horse. Yes, being strange is the natural state of a Fringedweller.
“Your sense of inappropriate humour”. Yes, Fringedwellers have those as well.
Is it just me or is Giles positively gleeful when it comes to using the chainsaw? Yes, gleeful would be the word, well actually devastatingly sexy would be the word (or phrase?). Sorry, I have a thing for guys who look at least basically competent with power tools, it bodes well for when I need more bookshelves. I grew up with men who were professional builders/electricians/painters, with the result that they were always to busy to actually do any of our repairs, but because they could do it, we weren't allowed to pay anybody else to get it done. It's this kind of shoddy workmanship by parents that led to me and Lizard becoming the kind of practical girls who went round our entire university house screwing all the doors into their frames properly. Unfortunately this included the front door which used to stick so hard you had to put your shoulder against it and shove. We mended it, we failed to tell people. There was a long period of people going to open the door, throwing their entire weight against it, and promptly flying out onto the street, usually nearly breaking the nose of the luckless individual who rang the doorbell. It is just to avoid these kind of mishaps that I feel drawn to men who look like they could fix things if they broke.
Bugger it, it's Giles, wonderfully lit, looking sexy with power tools, I don't need to justify being attracted to that, but it's a nice anecdote, so I'm leaving it in
I loved the idea of a tiny demon, and the tackiness of teasing it.
A lesson for Giles, to remember to read all of the page as sometimes skim reading just doesn’t get it done. Gwendolyn Post was right about something then (besides Faith being an idiot). You really must read the nice words as well

Beer Bad

The fact that Parker has to offer ice cream in Buffy’s fantasy makes it all the more realistic, somehow.
Personally, I fell that if Ugly Green Shirt Guy and his ilk are the future of the USA, I’d take the guy that kept the peanut bowl full.
Veruca. Did the writers not know that this is the name of a foot fungus-type wart thing? Or maybe they did, given her bizarre hair when performing.
Willow feels the urge to wave her hand up and down in front of Oz's eyes a few times
Buffy’s morning after the beer has been done by me so many times, and I don’t drink. (Well, only a sissy girly drink and then not often.)
That's not on, if she can't be arsed to teach it, they shouldn't have to learn it
I'm totally with the bar guy
Love Giles' indignant "It was the early seventies"
The porters in UC Sunnydale are very tolerant. Only 3 weeks ago Buffy trashed her dorm; now she's painting the walls and they still won't kick her out
After seeing the mess that the Cro-Magnon guys made of the Grotto, I have just realised where my housemates from last year ended up.
A lesson that all women must learn; when caught up in a moment of severe emotional trauma, trust your inner cavewoman. Hit the bastard with a big stick. Repeatedly.
Note how I've made it all the way through an episode about cavemen without making a single Angel joke, and god, do I need a drink

Wild At Heart

If the vampires do not appreciate Buffy’s puns, it is because they are meticulously thought out. Everybody knows that good puns (and by that I mean bad puns) are spontaneous and reflect their lack of planning.
The lesson here for Spike is that he really must stop making all those dramatic speeches. They only end in pain and humiliation
Although Willow and Oz looked all romantic and snuggly in their pillow talk, I couldn’t help thinking “Ugh, morning breath.”
Oz’s excuse of “Laundry day” to explain his strange clothes would have had me convinced because you do wear some bizarre combinations when it’s time for the wash.
Giles’ annoyance at "Jeopardy" is nothing compared to my bellowing at the television whenever I have the misfortune to catch “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire”. I seem to think that if I shout loud enough, the people on the show will hear me. Although this too pales next to anyone caught watching 'The Crystal Maze'. On the same note, this is the kind of attitude that leads to the proudest fringedwelling moment of my life, when, whilst watching 'Videodrome', I calmly and totally without irony told James Woods (out loud) that he was mad for talking to his television.
Continuing the Alternate Jobs For Buffy Characters theme, Xander shows his skills at relationship counseling and Oz becomes a welder.
I know I hate Veruca, but she does seem to have an odd problem in this episode. Someone must have told her it was sexy to look up at people from under her eyelashes and toss her hair around. Unfortunately she seems to have added a head tilt of 45°, so it just looks like she has a bad twitch.
I would have left the cheating little bastard in the cage
That's it Willow, reach towards the ravening werewolf.
I cry at the end of this episode every time I watch it (hands up those in shock).

The Initiative

Poor Riley, not only does he have to maintain his undercover army career thingy and spend all his time killing bad things, but he actually has to find time to do the marking as well
The first of Riley and Forrest's little talks about the merits or not of Buffy
Being peculiar means that you do not follow the particular norm of your society. To be peculiar should be the goal of a person, not to be normal.
That's why Spike has the nail varnish, he was viciously experimented on by the cosmetics-testing arm of Superdrug. Still doesn't explain the eye-liner though.
James Marsters really does need to keep a check on his five o'clock shadow
Xander learnt a hell of a lot when he was soldier-guy, and the writers use it as an excuse to make him half-competent at fighting, or to provide Buffy with illegal weaponry. When did he have the time to “requisition” all the weapons that he has? Not when he actually was soldier guy, as he never went back to base. The only other time was when he and Cordelia got into the armoury, but it was implied in the episode that they only had a short time to locate the rocket launcher so when did he find time to loot the place too?
The episode is the first one that really has any sort of focus on the impending Riley/Buffy relationship, and I find myself able to sum it up in one line: the blonde leading the blond. Tobin is the only person I know who would actually write this sentence using the correct female/male versions of blonde/blond. Although it's nice to see that Buffy's in charge.
If vampires aren't supposed to sweat why has Spike left hand prints on the glass at the front of his cell
What did Spike do with the blood if he didn't drink it?
Why isn't Spike's chip working when he beats up the lab guy in the Initiative?
It’s a pity that Spike isn’t wearing a hat, because in this episode he gets to slide under Harrison doors at least twice. Also he gets chipped, which lead to the immortal line of protest from a fellow Fringedweller “Oh my God! They’ve chocolate oranged him!” Now, what she actually meant was “They’ve Clockwork Oranged him”, giving a Buffy-esque film reference in response to a plot point.What she said lead to a lot of other naughty ideas about Spike and a large quality of a melted chocolate product, which really don’t need to be repeated here. Yes, yes they do, please repeat away....
How can you not love a guy who actually uses the word "courted" in reference to a prospective girlfriend? And as far as I can tell, the plan pretty much worked out
On Spike's patronising get back with you line "I missed you", I will forgive him on the basis that it would have worked on either of his girlfriends as the last one was insane and this one is terminally stupid. But if he tries it again he should be stuffed with garlic and roasted in a hot oven
How come nobody beat Buffy to death with a shovel when she ripped Riley's heart out and kicked it into the gutter?
"No mercy, no warning" wasn't that a warning?
You’ve really got to love the slowed down slapping girly-fight between Xander and Harmony. It’s mock-heroic, in it’s way, showing that Buffy really doesn’t need the likes of us to take the piss out of it as it does it very well itself. That doesn't mean we're going to stop though. Sorry.
Why does the lift stop there? Why doesn't it go to the ground floor? Those stairs and platform serve no purpose but to provide a nice view and a little exercise
How come Spike is only Hostile 17? That seems a very low total for a well-armed army demon-hunting outfit, you'd have thought they'd have caught more than that
Riley clearly has no idea what he's talking about in his little military pep talk
Flare guns are designed to light up large areas of water so you can see the ship, they are bugger all use in a built up area. Minor point
That's not a lot of 'S's listed in the halls of residence and really that stuff shouldn't be so easy to get to
Love Willow suddenly realising what she's saying to Spike
This is possibly the only time when James Marster's English accent slips, "paytronise" with a long 'a' instead of "pahtronise". It's so rare I felt it needed pointing out
Quick yay for wet, sweaty Riley, and Graham in the vest

Pangs

There is no excuse for Buffy’s cowboy hat. She is not a cowboy. She doesn’t need it. End of story. (My hatred of all things country extends to fashion, I’m afraid)
Wow, Nicholas Brendon has really bulked out, hasn’t he? Hey, maybe he’ll fit into the leather jacket they gave him in ‘The Wish’ now.
I want to see Xander dig too
Buffy’s ‘spider sense’ about vampires is really crap, isn’t it? Giles kept banging on about it in the first season, but must have dropped it. Pity, because the only conscious Slayer the world has is unable to detect the presence of not only a vampire, but one she had a deep and intense relationship with, when he is standing no more than ten feet away from her.
Buffy must be having an attack of the dumb blonde, as when Willow tells her a Shumash knife is missing, she asks ‘What’s it look like?' Well, the obvious answer to that would be ‘Like a knife, Buffy.’ It’s a good thing that there isn’t a written exam to take before you become a Slayer.
However, not to be outdone and in a moment of empathy with his ex, Angel also has an attack of the dumb blond when he comes to the blindingly obvious conclusion that ‘The thing that killed the woman is the danger!’ No shit, Sherlock.
The word you're looking for Angel is 'have' in every sense
Poor Spike becomes the The Little Matchvampire in this episode, looking in at the nest of vamps about to tuck into a nice, juicy human.
However, I have no sympathy with him for finding out that Harmony had a stake concealed under the mattress. If he had done his fair share around the lair and actually changed the bedclothes then he would have found it earlier.
Xander really does get crapped on from a great height in this episode. Fancy having an STD without actually having the sex to cause it.
"The solution is pie" no, the solution is chocolate, the solution is always chocolate. If the answer isn't chocolate, the question isn't worth asking
Back on the vampire biology issue, Spike has no circulation.
Does Giles have brandy? Duh! Going on past episodes (any kind of crisis is an excuse to crack open a bottle) I'd say you'd be pushed to find pubs as well stocked as Giles' liquor cabinet
"Not a western" and none of them are Montgomery Clift in chaps, so there's a downside to everything
"You exterminated his race. What could you possibly say?" Thank you
Giles did make those points, but perhaps Spike used shorter words so Buffy understood
In answer to the question ‘What’s he (Angel) like when he is evil?’, the answer to that is very very sexy. Very. Even the dedicated, fanatical librarian watcher has to agree with this, it's something to do with all the leather, and the fact that he actually has a sense of humour, and occasionally even smiles..
I love the cavalry coming on bikes. I wonder if John Wayne would have looked as cool pedaling away?
Everyone is a really shit shot with the arrows in this episode
Possibly my favourite Buffy line ever "A bear! You made a bear!".

Something Blue

Although I am the last person in the world that should ever make sarcastic remarks about the state of people’s hair, it’s not going to stop me. What the hell has Buffy done to hers? It looks like she’s stuck her finger in the socket.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who gets confused about whether that was a conversation I actually had or not
You’ve got to wonder, where did Giles get the manacles (oh the possibilities...)? If they belong to Oz, what would happen if there was a full moon, who would get to be chained up? Spike or Oz?
I’d never really thought about the cost of being a witch before, but it must be expensive to keep buying all the candles, eye of newt and all the ridiculous cutesy ‘spellbooks’ that have cropped up in bookshops recently. Of course, all those ‘How To Cast Lovespells’ and other assorted guides for morons are just self-help books masquerading as mysticism. How can people buy that junk? If you are really that desperate for help, just sling all those ridiculous books in the nearest recycling bin and go and buy any Pratchett book that has Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg in it. Not only do you get witches, you also get a healthy dose of headology.
Spike in manacles licking Giles to death, I'm surprised no ones written a fan-fic on that. Well, actually...
The Scoobies, and Giles most of all, must have really strong bladders. Spike is locked up in the bathroom, with what we must assume is the only toilet. I don’t know about you, but having a vampire watch me pee is not my idea of a good time. Although, I suppose there is a website out there for that particular minority group.
Lemon juice will stop that
Willow takes the temporary solution
How come they have a go at Willow for going out and getting hammered after she's been dumped? As far as I was aware that kind of behaviour is not just encouraged but actually recommended after you've broken up with someone. You go out, get slaughtered, wake up the next morning with a hangover so bad your emotional pain seems like nothing. Problem solved
"Access to powers I can't even invoke" but on the other hand, she is a rat, so Willow has the advantage there
So Buffy says it will take time and then joins with everyone else in not letting Willow take the time
Finally, Sarah Michelle Gellar gets to snog someone without getting a crick in her neck. James Marsters can’t be very tall, because she’s tiny
Giles hits the bottle again and again
Love the way Giles brain catches up with current events after Buffy asks him to give her away
Oh dear, instant love brings with it instant issues with exes. I suppose you can’t have everything!
Poor Giles. I know exactly how he feels as I am around a lovely couple who is very much in the first throws of squishy romantic bliss. I tend to spend my time looking for a sick bucket or a good excuse to leave them to it.
Is that the same shop window that Giles trashes in 'Band Candy'?
Worryingly, I have had entire conversations like the one Buffy has with Riley, genuinely just to wind the other person up ("You're gonna need a bigger boat")
Even under the throes of an all-consuming love spell, Spike and Buffy still can't stop bickering
Yet again Buffy and Willow's deposit is under threat
Spike must have an excellent turn of speed. When Xander, Anya, Buffy and Spike run towards the crypt he is behind everyone, but when they cut to a shot of everyone entering the crypt he’s first in after Buffy.
I sympathise with Giles on the 20:20 vision thing. It’s a sad burden to bear knowing that you sacrificed your gift of perfect vision when you chose to read voraciously as a child. Sniff sniff.
No, it wasn't the spell. Something about weddings makes most girls get all tacky, no matter how cool they are, even if they are Slayers
Love the Speak-No-Evil t-shirt

Hush

How can Buffy tell a prophetic dream from just a plain weird one? What was it that made that dream prophetic and not the one where she and Giles moved to Vegas and opened up an office supplies store? Now, that would be an episode.
‘Every girl with a henna tattoo and a spice rack thinks she’s a sister to the dark ones’ – A little rich coming from a show that has, unfortunately, spawned so many ‘wanna blessed bes’ and all the merchandise that I ranted about earlier.
Riley gets all sweaty again. I think I've found a possible secondary use for the Russell Crowe bucket. (We spent most of 'Gladiator' watching sweaty, dirty Russell Crowe and feeling a strange and sudden urge for a bucket of hot, soapy water and a sponge. So when I bought the video for Lizard's Christmas present I also got her blue plastic bucket and a car sponge, just in case. It is now in readiness for washing down any sweaty naked men we happen to come across, and has also been used as a litter bin and to catch the leaks when our washing machine broke)
Why is it that Giles gets to have sex but doesn't get his kit off like everyone else?
Those Gentlemen are really freaky and this episode is scary as no one makes any smart remarks to make you laugh and therefore not scared
I love it when people act without truly thinking about what it is they are doing, Xander with the telephone and Riley in the lift being two prime examples. My new building has just such a sign by the lift and I go into a mad fit of giggles whenever I see it. I accept the fact that there is no help for me.
Does Xander’s mother not realise that her son has a man tied to a reclining chair in her basement? I’m thinking that this situation would ring a few alarm bells even with the most inept of parents.
There will always be opportunists, in this case message board guy. As Terry Pratchett readers will recognise, even Sunnydale has its own CMOT Dibbler (or should that be CMOT Dubbya?)
Why don't the Gentlemen just go into the houses in stead of knocking and waiting to be let in, they can't need an invitation, the victims can't speak
And suddenly it's clear why people invented e-mail
Not fair, how come Walsh has a speaky high tech computer and Riley has a pad? Because you don’t let soldiers play with expensive high tech things. An example – put the SGC in this position. Would you trust Jack O’Neill with a speaky computer or would you feel happier giving him a pen and paper?
This episode is great for showing that sometimes words can get in the way of what you want to say.
Under what circumstances could losing your voice cause you to crash your car into a fire hydrant?
It’s lucky that Olivia can draw, isn’t it? I’d be useless and send Buffy out looking for stickmen.
Giles’ use of the OHP puts mine to shame. I hate the bloody thing.
Great use of Danse Macabre
I know this will sound incredibly wimpy, but this episode actually scared me a bit. Well, scare is too strong a word. Made me feel uneasy. It wasn’t just the make up on the Gentlemen, but the way they just sort of glided along. And took people’s ability to scream away. The last time I felt that uneasy about a TV show episode was the second X-Files episode to have Eugene Tooms in it. In my defence, I was watching it alone, at night, with all the lights off and with the knowledge that my parents were on holiday and wouldn’t be back for a few days. The part when he tried to come up the toilet was what got me the most, and I spent the next few days using the toilet extremely quickly. Honestly, I wouldn’t make up anything this ridiculous. Don't you just love it when people share... Although I have to say, I've known this girl for two years and that is one thing I never ever knew about her.

Doomed

As they proceed to say absolutely nothing
"Capricorn on the cusp of Aquarius" Buffy's really not helping here. And that would make her birthday 20th of January. Is that right?
Doesn't "corn-fed" make him sound like some kind of free-range chicken?
Look like what exactly? And why aren't we getting visual confirmation of this?
I loved seeing the almighty Slayer’s ego dented just a little bit here, when Riley had never heard of her.
How does grading on a curve work and how does it help anybody?
Buffy having a wiggins over the earthquake is perfectly understandable
What happens if the University find Willow with a pet that she shouldn't have in her room and confiscate rat Amy?
I am distressed on two levels, a) that Xander put a shirt on and b) that Xander put that shirt on
Forrest's description of Slayer the band is pretty accurate. We should all be thankful that Buffy has no delusions of Black Sabbath
Logically, Spike must have done laundry when he was evil, even big bad vampires have to wash
Spike is planning revenge on Xander
My favourite quote of the season "yes already, she's cool, she's hot, she's tepid, she's all temperature Buffy"
Why is Willow wearing a 'bunny's dog walking service' jumper?
Also, the note of protest from the loyal Scoobies when told they would have to avert another apocalypse – “Again?”. That was heartfelt.
Giles has wonderful sarcasm. Sarcasm means never having to say you're sorry...
Lilac. Hmm. Not exactly the most macho of codenames. Did Riley get to that meeting late and got the leftovers, like Bart Simpson and the ballet?
"I am by God not going to walk away because I think it might not work" I want a boyfriend like that. Do you think you could get them mail order or something? Male order. Hah. You have no idea how hard I was trying not to make that pun
The Initiative works in metric
Spike looks really terrifying in that shirt, someone should tell him to cheer him up
Well done Riley for calling Buffy self involved
Only evil people can smirk properly, so Spike has nothing to worry about. Dressed in Xander’s ridiculous clothes he may be, but anyone who can smirk like that is still truly nasty on the inside. I speak from personal knowledge.
Spike gets his verbal revenge, although he was wrong in what he says, and by what he does in 'The Yoko Factor' he knows it
"The Hellmouth in the library" there are others? Where?
Talking about Spike’s clothes, where does he get the jeans from? When they head to the ruins of the high school, he suddenly has a pair of jeans that fit him. He must have stolen them from Giles, because that's the only place they go. Giles has jeans now? Well, he had jeans in 'Band Candy' although if they are his they must be absolutely skin tight, cause they're a close fit on Spike
Xander made an important deduction. I am in awe
Why didn't they just give Spike the blood? He could just have drunk it, then no more apocalypse
Oooooh! Friction burn

A New Man

Oh God, the perils of sharing a room at uni- can you just imagine...
Ethan's practiced that speech in the mirror at home, you can tell
That scene in the crypt is either shot on different stock to the rest of the episode, or someone's been playing with it in post, cause it's all dark and contrast-y and I don't think you get that much of a different effect just by changing the lighting
Ethan is possibly the only man in the world who can look effeminate whilst drinking a pint of bitter
Why does Giles' shot glass have a straw in it?
"Older, LESS attractive"??? Am I the only person disagreeing with this? Apparently yes. Yep. You're all insane
I object to "Professional bad guy", he's not bad, he's just bored, and with the exception of the band candy, when he got paid, purely an enthusiastic amateur
How much muscle does Riley have to put behind beating up a guy who's barely half his size, and really poorly coordinated if that last punch is anything to go by
Occasionally cheap imitations are not necessarily a bad thing
Giles in Ethan's shirt is deeply disturbing to my psyche. I don't find it disturbing, in fact I think he looks fantastic. And I've just shown the clip to Lizard and she CLEARLY isn't disturbed at all
Can the American military just lock up British citizens without informing someone?
How many secret detention facilities are there in Nevada? I'd be genuinely surprised if there was any desert left by now
What exactly happens to Ethan when the Initiative shuts down and they whack all the creepy demons they've been experimenting on? We know from New Moon Rising that they're not averse to doing bad things to people as well as slimy evil things

The I In Team

I wonder if Anya was lying about having three kings while playing poker
Buffy impresses Professor Walsh, who is jealous of her ability to wipe out her pet project
If the Initiative is military why are its operatives known as agents rather than by rank?
Hey Forrest, can you say Iago?
Graham should talk more, he has a lovely accent
Nice editing on the anti-"Don't Look Now" sex scene
I do believe Professor Walsh is in serious need of counseling. Very, very dodgy maternal/laviscious feelings she's been exposing here. Time for a quick point and loon
Anya the honest saleswoman
I can't believe that Riley was heading into the murky immoral world of special operations, he just doesn't seem the type
Maggie Walsh is a jealous bitch
I knew there was a reason I liked this episode, gratuitous nudity from Spike and Riley
Spike's shoulders, yay
Out all night and yet both have different outfits on today
If the ionising does that to all the human hair, what the hell does it do to the bleach job? That's so hideous they can't even show it to us
Lucky thing that Giles is on a main sewer system. If I'd tried that, the tracer would just have sat in the septic tank slap bang in front of the house
The tracking the tracer scene is similar to the one in 'Aliens'
Professor Walsh has gone off the edge, luckily Adam sorts this out
Personally I can't stand soliloquies. They are ridiculous. I completely empathise with Adam's urge and would have skewered her myself given half the chance

Goodbye Iowa

It's Alive!!!!! (sorry)
What kind of bizarre vampire siring relationship gives Spike a cousin? Angel would have had to have made someone else and then their childe would be Spike's cousin. Have I got that right? Or he could just be making it up.
Love Spike briefly becoming the Fonz
It's the walls of Jericho! Nobody get a trumpet, Giles is mine! (Where the hell did that come from??) ‘It Happened One Night’, isn’t it? Clark Gable and Claudette Colbert? Good call, but I think she meant the sentiment rather than the quote, and besides, Giles is mine (and I have designs on Clark Gable too)
I feel for Giles, although waking up to Roadrunner is nothing compared to staggering downstairs after your 18th birthday party with about 3 hours sleep and a hangover the size of Birmingham to find 8 people sitting in your living room singing along, loudly, to Earthworm Jim. And Bob the Fish
Did Buffy steal Giles' glasses?
I dislike Forrest intensely
They broke his TV! The bastards broke Spike's TV! Now that is the definition of evil
I am way, way too British for my own good, poor shivering tortured deeply in shock Riley, and all I want to do is sit him down with a good strong cup of tea with a big slosh of whisky in it
The headscarf comes and goes a lot
Anya has an excellent point about Xander's plot coupon of military experience
No he can't, if I don't get him then Xander sure as hell doesn't
Wasn't it terribly lucky that the bad guys chose that particular corridor to clearly and efficiently explain the entire plot in?
An attack of dumb blonde, a chronic condition perhaps
Great entrance of Adam
You'd think that Adam would be advanced enough to have a CD Rom instead of a disc drive
So Riley hits the metal part of Adam's face, the blonde leading the blond indeed
Poor dear Spike, that looks so painful

This Year's Girl

Is this Faith's dream or Buffy's and is the "little sis" comment an allusion to Dawn?
The hospital has very dark and grimy walls
I'm of Willow's 'press the buttons and see' approach. Which is why everyone in your house lived in fear. You have no idea of how much, for three years
Or they could actually be trying to heal the sucking gut wound
Poor electrocuted Xander
Graham very subtly tries to keep Riley and Forrest from kicking the crap out of each other
Big eeww for the red, dead demon. I love they way it's kind of translucent and you can see Willow's torchlight through it (so I'm sick, but it's still a nice effect)
Cool shot of Faith in the grave
Faith's emergence from the grave was very 'Shawshank Redemption'
Shouldn't the machines that Faith is on have alerted somebody? The effect when she pulled the pads off would have been the same as if she'd flat-lined and should have had people rushing to revive her
If someone says "very high" can you then say "no"?
Unfortunately the brain-washy chip isn't in his head
Why didn't the council kill Faith? As Buffy points out in Season 3 "Until the next Slayer comes along they can shut up shop" so they kill her and they have jobs again. It's not as if they aren't ruthless enough
The nurse goes to see Faith every night bang on 8 o'clock. But the clock right behind her head as she says this says 12:30. Did it take four and a half hours for the police man to get there and for her to get around to calling the Council?
Who called Buffy about Faith, and why would they? The council would call Giles. Why didn't the council call Giles? I know he doesn't work for them anymore, but a quick line to say that someone with a fairly serious interest in seeing him dead was awake would only be polite
Riley is feeling sadly behind events
Faith has a good point about the whole forgetting Angel for Riley thing, from her point of view. It would have been better for Riley if she had completely forgotten Angel, the problem is, she can't
Faith must have just dropped behind that wall, and Buffy never looked straight down
Radio call sign, loud and clear, often you have three numbers for volume, quality and interference (I think). I only know this because I used to work for the company that printed "Short Wave" magazine
You could tell the nurse was a Watcher lackey. I mean check out the Ann Widdicombe haircut
That's a really poor quality recording of the Mayor. He must have made a copy down a scart lead instead of a coaxial. It bothers me that I know this
The answer to Faith's question is, she looks good but slutty
"Woman your age" miaow
Okay, now Faith is calling Riley a marine. What does she know that we don't?

Who Are You?

Surely the Watchers' Council would get pulled over for that type of thing. But by who? They just ploughed into the only police patrol car in the vicinity. The rest are still at Joyce's house
I'm deeply worried by the fact that the top class watcher retrieval team is headed by Mr. Beechams and is lardy and middle aged
Maybe it's the new hair, but Buffy has a tendency to look strangely superimposed in this episode
It'd have to be a fairly heavy book, and someone with a very good aim
If only my job were going out and having fun
Spike - evil predator of innocent beer and waif-like bourbon
Spike and "Buffy" in the Bronze, and the expression on Spike's face, priceless
"You know why I don't?" No I don't have a clue, why doesn't she? We all would
Excuse me, "it" is a she, and she has a name
I wouldn't put my affairs in order, I'd want to be rescued
You would have thought that the crack team from the Council would be able to aim
Riley has a very slightly perplexed expression throughout this scene, like he knows something's up, but he's not sure what, and he's even less sure if it's a bad thing, and he doesn't want to say anything just in case
"My fantasies don't include a bunch of marines." Shame, I think some of mine do. Well, one or two marines in particular
Army guys are allowed to sleep past 8:25?
Love Riley's church suit
Giles is very unused to making a fuss
That is the best, if not the only, excuse for cheating on your girlfriend

Superstar

What do you call a male Mary-Sue? Bob.
They've reworked the titles for comic effect and how cool is that? Especially that last dig at Angel
Buffy's slaying talents revert to season one standard. And part of me takes unnecessary pleasure in seeing her as pathetic and useless as we all know she is
Semi-naked Riley, not that we mind but he really hasn't got a reason for not wearing a shirt in that scene. That is one of the most gratuitously naked scenes I've ever seen. Angel hasn't been naked that gratuitously
To give Riley some credit, the amount of blood flowing to his brain at that point was fairly limited, and coherent thought was pretty much out of the question. He probably wouldn't have noticed if 'Buffy' turned blue, let alone if she was the one looking back at him
How much sugar did Buffy put in that cup?
Why does Riley call Jonathan "sir"?
Sadly, if it came to a fist fight, my money would be on Anya too
Jonathan comes over all Dean Martin, since when did the Bronze have a swing band?
Why doesn't Anya mention the alternative universe she actually created?
Riley's brain heads in a terribly male direction
I'm not saying I'd be one of the twins, but isn't Jonathan kinda sweet? Especially when he's all shuffly and vulnerable at the end

Where The Wild Things Are

Is that an Indy car on the poster above Riley's bad, or an old F1 car?
Xander is consistently Rio Bravo'd by Anya, and not for the first time
Despite the obvious raging sex appeal, Giles is quite clearly not getting any
Spike and Anya on the sofa, comic genius
Xander proving once again why he's the heart of the Scooby gang
Spike is susceptible to motivational speaking but can be bought round by logic
Oh God, Oh Wow, Oh my God. Who gives a damn about all the naked Riley, Giles singing. I'm thinking this classes as his THIRD "getting it" moment.
Giles singing, this is not just weak at the knees this is weak in every available joint, even the ones in my ears. Tony Head does have a wonderful, if slightly unexpected, voice. I knew he was going to sing, but I thought he would have more of a rock singer's voice, in fact, he sings this more easily than Roger Daltrey does. The only thing that I actually knew Tony Head had sung before was when he was Frank-n-furter in Rocky Horror, which generally implies a slightly different type of voice. And fishnet stockings. Yay. You really disturb me
'Behind Blue Eyes', when Pete Townsend wrote this he thought of it as a sad song, the way Giles sings it. Roger Daltrey however sings it angry
I had to watch this scene four times because of the expressions on the girls' faces. I can't believe it has taken them this long to get Giles. I couldn't stop laughing
Yeah okay, Naked Riley. Yippee (although it's not like we haven't seen it before)!! Kinda like Angel in 'First Impressions', I'm not sure why he bothers wearing anything at all

New Moon Rising

To give Willow some credit, it's quite possible that the Initiative could actually have demons coming out of their ears
Oz knows how to make an entrance, he is as I'm sure one of us has mentioned, the essence of cool. Me. It was me.
Does enlightenment always lead to stubble?
Buffy is the last person to be talking about lack of tolerance
Riley's alarm clock is pathetic, it wouldn't wake a mouse
That was a pathetic punch Spike threw at Adam
How come Tara gravitates to doors that won't open when she's being hunted down by fiends who want to kill her?
I'm sure this has been mentioned before, but where do Oz's clothes go when he changes and does he get them back at any point?
Oh well, someone's gotta ask, which parts?
"Other guys who've gotten out" sometimes I think the Initiative aren't even trying, and surely they'd have a back up in case of a power cut
Riley is showing signs of disloyalty, or it could simply be independent brain function. And a traitor to what?
"Was I the only one awake in English that day?" there is always the possibility that everyone else was concentrating on the text...Nah, take it from me, never happens
Boring the guy to death with free prose would probably be quite good as a torture method, but for speed use the crossbow

The Yoko Factor

Spike's cigarette is already lit
No actually it's Angel that Xander hates, he's pretty ambivalent about the curse
It's a damn good job it's not creme brulee that sets Angel into Angelus, he's got enough things to avoid as it is
Oops
Giles singing again, wow! But spoiled by his screaming like a girl when he sees Spike. Actually the term is screaming like a watcher, most girls' screams are much more manly than that
I love, love Giles' trauma=>scotch instinct, although he is drinking out of the green bottle, and not the Glenmorangie that's also on the tray
Actually they hired Riley to be do-as-you're-told-without-question boy, specifically not to be sneaky
If you only got the BBC kiddie version, Xander got fired from the phone sex line
That orange jacket is truly hideous
Why does Spike pretend to be out of breath?
How come Angel recognises Riley? Did they meet in 'Pangs'? Nope. He saw him talking earnestly to Buffy and asked Willow who he was. So in that case, how come he doesn't know that Buffy has a boyfriend when Faith mentions it in 'Sanctuary'?
Riley is so much taller than Angel
Occasionally I despair of good guys, Riley has Angel all at his mercy at one point, and then knees him in the stomach? In all fairness, Angel probably couldn't take much more abuse in that department
Angel has to be invited into a student room rather than the just the hall, which is comforting. Obviously vampires work on the same principle as TV licence inspectors. If you need a separate licence, they need a separate invitation. Almost makes that £109 worth it doesn't it?
Running your fist into someone's face may not be an accident but it's not a plan, it may be part of a plan but it's not a plan in and of itself. Plans require maps and diagrams and stuff, but we are talking about Angel here and he could well need a diagram in order to hit someone successfully. And possibly an arrow with a big sign saying 'aim here'
If they could bottle the look that Angel gave Riley as he followed Buffy out of the room they would make millions selling it to the 'smug bastards of America society' alone.
Maybe this is just me, but weren't you just dying for Riley to stick his foot out, trip Angel up and send him flying embarrassingly into the corridor, preferably to crash against the far wall? Although possibly this is the legacy of being a sixth former in a school with slippery corridors, where if you could trip a first year you could not only send him/her flying down the hallway, but (if they were heading in the right direction) straight through a pair of double doors, and if you were really lucky, straight into one of the evil witches who made up the English department. Thus getting the child completely embarrassed AND told off for running in the halls at the same time
I think Buffy was channeling her mother when she's talking to Angel. She actually pulls a face just like Kristine Sutherland
I'm hugely disappointed in Angel, after finally showing some guts, "Not in my city" he then slinks back to Buffy and apologises for hurting her feelings? Wuss
That last dark, sweeping avenger shot as Angel leaves just cracks me up every time
Actually Angel and her did, but previously and that's not the point
Yeah girls really do
"Are you drunk?" there are those highly trained Slayer powers of observation again
At least Giles put his whisky down first
Tara and Anya should have taken snacks
Buffy's brains have already fallen out, answers on a postcard for what she's using now
I can honestly say that I am in awe of Spike throughout this episode, to piss off that many people, with that little effort is a work of genius. Although again, not a plan.
The more I watch Season 4 the more I think Buffy is insane for choosing Angel over Riley. I've realised this is because Riley is pretty much a dead spit for my boyfriend (I know I had to get him in here somewhere) from the neck down and says the same sort of things as Riley would say. This is what made me really give Riley a fair chance as I was a confirmed B/A shipper (and pretty much an Angel worshipper all by himself). I've had an epiphany! I'm with Diminuendo (sorry for the defection Tobin). Yay Riley! (I still think Angel is who she is meant to be with but Riley is the better guy and the better boyfriend)

Primeval

The main problem is that Willow, Xander and Giles can be counted on, but Buffy won't count on them
Hooray for Xander's helpful suggestions
Their abseiling technique is really poor
I can't believe Spike thought Adam would honour their agreement
Strangely, I think Maggie Walsh is actually less creepy when she's the animated corpse
Walsh really was a loon
Watching the Initiative at work you can see why the Americans invented the term 'friendly fire'
Just out of interest, do the props department pay for James Marsters' cigarettes or does he have to buy his own?
What skill does Xander have that they need him in the spell?
Forrest is killed (the second time) like 'Jaws' one and two
That gun upgrade was beyond crap. Good God couldn't they have just given him a machine gun or something if they really wanted to use that effect?
Very, very Matrixy ending here. One wouldn't dare accuse the great Joss of plagiarism, but wasn't that just blatant.... well, plagiarism?
So they decide to shut their eyes to the otherworldly problem when they can't control it, typical Government

Restless

Can you get anything more heart of darkness-y? If you could, you wouldn’t want to. 'Heart Of Darkness' was suggested, but dismissed because that was just silly. And from personal experience, less heart of darkness-y than 'Apocalypse Now'
Riley would be cowboy guy. And he would show up on time too
Buffy looks very cool and twenties
Love the rant about men from Buffy
Spike in tweed is disturbing
I also scoff at gravity, that's usually when it attacks
The view through the windows of the ice cream van is really badly superimposed, and I can't work out if that's deliberate or not
I have never considered using cheese for protection of any kind, aren't you pleased for me?
Love the 'Apocalypse Now' spoof, brilliant; Armin Shimerman as Kurtz, better. he even has Brando's gestures
Joss Whedon runs out of music and lyrics for Giles
Again the reference to making the bed with Faith, is this about Dawn? I know I keep asking
Just for a moment I thought Tara had the time written down on a piece of paper, but it's just a tarot card
Coffee makers that think, I can see the danger there
Cool shot of Riley through the glass with the gun
Really sexy shot of Riley with the gun, he looks good in a suit, and in charge. For someone with a horrendous Riley obsession, I find it amazing that you lived it denial for so long. Not just a river, but a state of mind. I wasn't in denial about the Riley thing, I actually didn't know I fancied him until Tobin told me
What horrible shoes Buffy is wearing, she has to grip them with her toes to keep them from falling off

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