farscape4

Crichton Kicks

Geeah! Beard! And hair! He looks like Jesus, in some kind of bizarre smock thing. Ok, I have to say it too, Geeeeaaaagggghhh, beard!!!
I like little 1812, it's sweet. It's the 1812 overture, the PRD rendition had me confused
I guess this Pilot doesn't mind graffitti on her walls, although I suppose there's no WHSmith's nearby to get a new notepad.
John isn't worried about the alien spaceship crashing through the boxes that represented his life's work, he knows that it's there to stand in for the cannons at the end of the 1812 Overture.
That's a good opener from the crazy haired lady - "If you're sober enough or sane enough to understand me..."
This pointing and naming of objects is a lot like primary school
He's going to sing it.
God, the crazy haired lady sound like me - "Give me nouns! Give me verbs!"
I don't know who this woman is but every writer and English teacher is worshiping at her feet right now
Oh dear, I could have lived without the image of Scorpy in that hat and Hawiian shirt combination. Are these Russian aliens?
Hah! I knew that was Klingon! Please tell me that's all the Klingon he knows, like me only knowing how to mortally insult you or proposition you in Spanish
Not his backside! Don't bite his precious backside!
Trust Chiana to make her presence known at the worst possible time.
Oh thank goodness, I couldn't take that awful beard for much longer. I've just noticed one on Rygel, too.
Chiana sounds like she's got Cordelia's visions.
I've missed Rygel's gloriously inappropriate jokes.
Rygel is ace, how can you not like Rygel?
I want to be able to do the gravity shift thing
That's a pretty poor goat impression, although he does do a little goat dance.
You get the feeling that Ben Browder loved doing the arse-wiggling scene, but probably not as much as his female fans did.
Glad to see Crichton has not given up on the leather
Enough with the Yodaisms
Pirates of the Caspian Sea, more like.
When did she get time to curl her hair again?
I get the feeling that this plan of theirs involves a long length of rope and people jumping off ledges, and you just know that it's going to go to hell.
Oh, and here we go...well, you just knew that the red head having her hand sliced off earlier was a set up for this joke (although it didn't stop me from sniggering) and I defy anyone not to laugh at the image of a grown man shooting uncontrollably upwards and then plummeting down into a large vat of blue goo.
"I am going to get my life back" that's the spirit
No! No! Don't give up on Aeryn! She'll need help with the nappy changes, if nothing else. Kick-arse commando she may be, but I bet nothing in her training will ever prepare her for three am nappy changes.

What Was Lost pt I - Sacrifice

I have no idea what Chiana just said then.
I distrust water-filled corridors. They never usually lead to anything good.
You've got to love the simultaneous "He's not a peacekeeper! She's not a tralk!"
Reunions that maim by D'Argo
Oh yay, thinks John, hours of Luxan travel stories. If he's lucky he won't have to sit through the slide shows.
"We're here and no-one is trying to kill us!" That must be a novel feeling. That's a plus, but you know that it can't last and something will try and kill them soon
Oh, that sea-creature thing is too cool.
Chiana! Don't destroy the artifacts!
"Legend has it" that's a scientific term is it?
Take your hand out of his Jool, although well done for getting John alone somewhere dark and deserted.
Oh yeah, throw the memory of your dead wife in Chiana's face, Dargo.
Crichton just says no
I think that Commandant Cleavage has been watching too much Star Trek; how the hell is Braca going to make a 10 hour journey in 5 hours? Get out and push the command carrier?
Keep Scorpius in that chair! Torture him until he cracks, then do it some more!
Yeah, you'd think that a whole team of archeologists would notice the missing bones.
It's a nice little excursion for Commandant Cleavage and Braca - just a simple picnic lunch, three marauders and twenty soldiers. Perfect.
She must be so cold after the 8th take
That fingernail licking thing is disgusting, although the aphrodisiac sweat isn't much better.
Poor Braca, I don't really think she needed to cheat
I've just seen Jool in the light for a bit after her chat with Vella about the inferiority of Luxans, and her leather bondage look seems *really* out of place on the dig.
The old woman reminds me of Grandma Mazur. Nah, Granny's crazy but not weird. Plus, there's no mention of her having huge ears and a third eye.
And somehow it's not the robed monks or the great buildings that John really remembers, but the goat.
Ooh! Wet John! Wet John in leather trousers! That's a look that they should consider keeping.
Oh no, he's lost Winona
The monks are chanting the theme tune!
Hah! Farscape goes Stargate with the Egyptian reference.
Eew dribble!
Scorpius on a leash! That must cheer John up considerably. We all knew Farscape's fetishist would put a collar and leash on Scorpius at some point
Fight it! Fight her! GET YOUR DISGUSTING HANDS OFF HIM, BITCH.
Some nice visuals there, with the waves crashing on the beach.
I'm glad that they resisted doing the "From Here To Eternity" shot.
Time for the sea monster

What Was Lost pt II - Resurrection

Gee John, do you think that yelling whilst underwater is the best idea in the world?
Why is the creature from the black lagoon saving his life only to kill him later?
I love D'Argo's pissy outburst about the new girl's inability to finish her sentences
Wow, that was a very sexy shot of John sprawled against the stone wall in the water.
Well, given that their plans are usually suicidal and only come off because of luck, D'Argo's plan seems as good as any that they've done before.
Nice little double entendre there.
Oh, you've got to love this Scorpius torture.
Chiana does have a point, she is a bit monochromatic.
Go away, hisses Commandant Cleavage, I'm interrogating a suspect!
Hooray! Shoot Scorpius more!
No, no, don't save her life, this will mean that you won't really be dead.
Ooh, battle of the intergalactic red-head temperamental princesses.
Isn't the guard going to hear that plan? Oh, never mind. Nice shot of the three women turning around there.
Hmm, beer, bowling and skinny dipping. Not the most sophisticated of dates.
No, actually, your ass looks fabulous in those clingy leather trousers.
"There is always a point in running!" Advice for life there.
John throwing the gun at the bad guys there as his oil runs out.
Aha! They're going to reverse the polarity!
A man will do a lot for the gun he loves.
Where the hell did that big thing come from?
Those priests are going to be really pissed that they missed all their TV programmes for 12000 cycles.
That glowing eye is freaky.

Lava's A Many Splendored Thing

Well, it's not like they're going to miss seeing Moya, are they? She's a leviathan!
Ah, that's why she's so thin.
Ah, the comedy helium gag. no show's complete without one! They must have so much fun sucking on helium filled balloons - get a lung full (actor nods) action!
Oh, what is that really?
Fab, the extended vomiting sequence. just what you want while you're eating your tea
A real threat there, "I'll spew on you!"
That was me after my last KFC meal
Let's call that Plan B, shall we? The problem is, so many things seem like a good idea at the the time
D'Argo wins the OAP Care and Consideration Award
Well, at least he's honest. Good answer.
Gee those crates looked really unheavy (light! light!) for heavy crates.
Crichton has a very familiar look on his face - the look you develop when you have to deal with Bitca for any length of time.
Crichton comes around to the "burn her" idea
There's some diplomacy, Crichton and D'Argo style.
D'Argo's tongue comes into play again. I'd love to see what will happen if his recoil goes.
A truly hilarious scene. Priceless. They're going to cancel this?
Is there DNA in vomit? Urgh, she just ate the vomit!
Brains versus vomit handling.
Oh, there goes any chance of their sleep for the next few months.
Looks like D'Argo's ship needs new batteries.
No, no, not the backside! It's perfectly formed and not available for target practice!
D'Argo is quietly proud.
Oh you'd better stop that right now. No lava on the genitals!
It's Lolaan we should have known thumping something would work.
If she turns the ship invisible while Chiana is off the ship then Chi won't be able to get back again.
Oh, don't insult Winona. That's a mistake.

Promises

Moya is in a beautiful part of space
Moya looks beautiful because Lolaan is stinky.
Aha, potted plot; or, "We can't be bothered to explain the gaping plot hole".
True 'Scaper style, run headlong into danger.
I know he said "one way to find out" but he didn't say only one way to find out
Aeryn has hideous hair.
I know she dumped poor John but strictly speaking that's not a good enough reason to shoot her
Bog off Scorpy! I knew he wasn't dead.
Maybe john should have had his fingers crossed when he made that promise
Ugh! He licked her nose! Scorpius licked her nose!
"Kryptonite, silver bullet, Buffy..." D'Argo prefers the Highlander approach.
You've got to love the hitman segue. Only in Farscape. They're canceling this?
1812! He survived!
Yeah, like that would have stopped her. Aeryn would have kicked his ass from Moya to Earth and back again.
Jesus, Aeryn looks freaky in that coolant suit.
Urgh, I can see right up his nose.
"Go in under a flag of truce and hit him with it" Sounds like a good plan to me.
That's a hell of a lot of support Commandant Cleavage is getting in that white shirt.
Can three people invade a planet?
Nice comedy pratfall from Granny.
Good shot Rygel
Gah! Scarren!Aeryn is scaring me.
Against my better judgement I'm feeling really sorry for Harvey.
Love D'Argo's attempt at positivity here. "Well, it's not the worst plan you've ever had."
Resuscitating Moya is like trying to get Alexei to start in the morning.
That's three questions John.
Oh dear, one of them the captain? My money's on D'Argo.
Take a vote my arse! They'll fight it out like mad cockerels
Oh Aeryn, throw him a bone.

Natural Election

Who's playing the sitar? Oh, Sikozu
Oh wow, they're taking turns at being Captain. How childish is that?
That's a very pretentious use of Spanish, although it will save the Spanish TV channel that buys this from dubbing that particular section.
Drum roll and... not a whole lot
Oh my god, he did it!
Oh bugger, now what
Love the freaked-out Rygel "What happened to the stars!" Rygel not so much freaked out as having a bad attack of Shakespearian acting
Ben Browder must have eaten a Spanish dictionary recently.
Hate her creepy eye.
Chiana expounds on her First Rule of Prison Security.
Oh prominent cleavage lady, I don't like the look you threw then.
Can a plant sneak up on people?
Aeryn must be desperate to confide in Chiana.
D'Argo summed that up pretty well, I think.
Oh thanks Granny, just that fraction of a second too late.
OK, the Tobinometer likes the tight black spacesuit with the silver piping. I also appreciate the black suit and silver piping
Yeah, the first time they all agree on a plan and then they go and kill the ship.
How about a couple of tons of weedkiller?
Jesus Chiana's got a big mouth
That is such a cool insult, "You defy the whole theory of natural selection"
That was such a cool vomiting Pilot.
Oh, D'Argo made a joke.
And he made another one, "There are so many other reasons to hate yourself."
Oh John, that was a mistake.
Aeryn was remarkably controlled in the face of a truly stupid question.
John's been attacked by some bronzing gel.
Yay 1812!
Hang on to what?
Well, Tobin gets her money's worth. D'Argo wins
Oh poor John! Bless him, a nice human girl wouldn't be messing him around like this.

John Quixote

And with a title like that you just know that it's going to be good.
Red Dwarf did this sort of thing. I bet I can get the twist right now - they're going to think that they got out of the game but really they'll still be inside it.
God no, not blondie again.
Cool, they dragged back PK Tech Girl. Does this mean they'll go back to that bizarre eyebrow sucking thing?
Oh dear, I'm not fancying John in the helmet. He looks like a "It's A Knockout" reject.
Ooo! (Say it with me) that's gotta hurt
Somehow I can't see Aeryn as a blonde or in distress.
Well, they always say that too much TV is bad for your health.
Nice Max Headroom impersonation.
That was a pretty cool poem. I *think* it was in iambic pentameter, which isn't easy to do
This is just a demented Knightmare episode.
Wow! A real, honest to goodness, beautiful Monty Python reference that is nothing other than a Monty Python reference. Ben Browder, I salute you.
Fantastic! Rygel IS the one legged silversmith
Oh fab, D'Argo in a pie collar with some *very* dubious sexual innuendo.
"Mind the gap" apparently John is about to get off the tube at The Embankment
Well here's fun, a Southern, lisping Aeryn. How could Claudia Black keep a straight face?
Please tell me that was Lani Tupu under all that make-up otherwise I think I'm seeing things.
They're still in the game, right?
That's a lot of skin showing on Aeryn. She must have shrunk her clothes in the wash.
Ooh, particularly nice bending over in leather shot from Ben Browder, it's been a while since we had one of those.
Ugh, no blood, no blood! Couldn't he have asked Chiana for a marker pen?
"What are you doing?" Bleeding to death slowly for the sake of physics?
That's a particularly crappy way to die.
John deals nicely with the unexpected banana.
Oh John, please think with your brain and not your gonads
Hah! I knew it! Narrative imperative strikes again!
Well, we all knew he wouldn't get to kiss anyone wearing that helmet
Yeah, somehow I thought that would be too easy.
Wrong princess?
Drugs? She's doping John? Someone throw that old woman out of the cargo bay, please!

I Shrink Therefore I Am

That old woman is intensely annoying.
John! Just say no! Did the cast of Grange Hill sing their hearts out in vain?
Oh Pilot must be speaking in code, Aeryn just isn't a sonnet sort of girl.
That's a particularly repulsive looking alien.
Wow, they're industrial strength handcuffs
Aeryn just a little slow on the uptake there.
Another scientist in the airvents!
I love how the wrist clamps are enough to hold Rygel's whole body.
Frell, eh? Chiana must be rubbing off on the bosomy lady.
Take it for granted, Chiana can always cause a distraction
Clever little 1812!
Oh, he's going to regret calling Aeryn and D'Argo weak and helpless.
Yet another pop culture reference that the aliens just aren't going to get.
Did Scorpy just offer to be a sidekick?
Didn't they blow one of those fan things up a few weeks ago?
There's a bit of a Spanish theme to John this season.
It's "Honey, I Shrunk The Luxan!"
Hey, I just made that joke!
Bosomy lady (sorry, can't spell her name) tries to logic her way out of this as the writers desperately try to write themselves out of the corner that they've got into.
Rygel, for once, talking sense.
"Know a frelling fact when it hits me in the face". Sadly Rygel is one up on me there
"Charm, good looks, and a winning attitude", yeah, and the leather trousers help too, John.
I love how Granny floats across the viewscreen at he back of this shot.
Chiana and Aeryn should have expected John to crack a few jokes at their expense.
He's such a bloody child
Aeryn has sudden doubts about John's great plan.
Scarrans sound Russian.
That's gross, but it's not the most disgusting thing he's ever done.
I love how Aeryn dives off to save her prowler.
Oh fantastic, mini-Aeryn riding 1812!
When all else fails, a large blunt object to the head will do the trick.
Oh, you've got to love the pun.
Tormented space? Is that space that's really angsty?
Repressed space, neurotic space, delusional space and everybody's favourite, manic depressive space

A Prefect Murder

I don't get it, is Aeryn hallucinating?
Oh what has Chiana done now?
Aeryn is letting Chiana fly alone in her prowler? Is she feeling ill?
The Prefect looks like an elf
So is Aeryn having her own private flashback?
"Give me a reason now to kill you!" Because D'Argo can render you unconscious with his tongue alone?
You mean it wasn't Chiana after all, it was Sikouzu? Or does the son not discriminate
What? Eh? Huh?
Priests often do have that much sway.
Love John's Scotty impersonation.
Oh, I think I get what this episode is trying to do now. It's bloody odd though, even for a Farscape episode.
One new ruler every half cycle? How do they get things done?
Let go of him! But don't let go of him there!
I tell you what, it's a good job I knew the synopsis before I started watching this episode
That looks like a stupid place to have a knife, you can't get it out of the sheath in a hurry. Although, what he thought a knife would do against an enemy that has a gun is another question.
Well, as stable as Aeryn and John get, anyway.
Wow! That was an impressive leap by Ben Browder, or his stunt man.
"One fine day in the middle of the night, two dead men got up to fight. Back to back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot each other"
Ew! A priest to the back of the head! It's been bugging me all episode, but I've just remembered who the priest reminds me of - Old Hamish, from Cohen's Silver Horde. Say it with me, the Pratchett fans will get that one.
No I expect his father wanted to live
Nutter! Seriously Bruce Spence typecast to great effect
No, he would have made his father proud, but his father is dead. Get your tense right, D'Argo.

Coup By Clam

They glowed. That can't be good, right?
That's some false nose on that doctor.
Oh, that looked painful for poor John. Leave his head alone!
Ooh, that's gotta hurt
Love the way they're running a sweepstake on how long John screams. Who did win the pool?
This is a bit of a weak storyline - held hostage by food poisoning? Since when have they been that rich, anyway?
Well, I suppose they can always raid another shadow depository
I expect that they'd care to call you beaky but they're not going to give you money
Poor Aeryn is so embarrassed at being in farting union with Rygel.
Chiana apparently didn't eat any of the evil clams
Well done Pilot, tell the annoying red head where to go.
Is it just me or does the Doctor look like the Child catcher from 'Chitty Chitty Bang Bang'. Maybe it's just a nasal resemblance
Who'd have thought the day would come when it would be a problem not to be a mollusc. I tell you Hamlet got off lightly. "To be or not to be a mollusc. Whether it is nobler in the clam to suffer the squid and lobster of outrageous tidal forces, or to take up suction pads against the sea otters and by opposing get yanked off the sea bed, smacked with a rock and eaten". Not very poetic I admit, but it does go to prove that the Prince of Denmark was nothing more than a repressed whiner. But I digress...
John and Aeryn in heartfelt unison there.
Ugh! Disgusting!
Weird, you wouldn't think that D'Argo would have such high pitched orgasm noises.
Did D'Argo hit what I think he did?
No you chauvanistic dimwit, the ship is actually male and they've been referring to it with a female pronoun for a few laughs...
Granny's got quite the thing for D'Argo hasn't she?
I always thought the engineer was a woman. Was she supposed to be disguised as a bloke then?
Yay! Jirl Power! I love it when Aeryn tries to speak English.
Rygel likes the idea of playing doctor.
His what are playing up? I bet if it's not the obvious innuendo then it's something totally innocent, like toenails
Aeryn got snuck up on? By a girl in a floaty dress and silly hat?
You have to dress up, John, because we want to laugh at you in drag.
Bras in tormented space. Well I suppose they are underwires
As if John needs a slimming colour. He's going to have to shove several pairs of socks down that bra as it is
John's doing a pretty good Aeryn impression there.
The little squeak in his voice says he means it
Ben Browder really is not an attractive woman.
That's ambiguous. Does pushy guy really think John's a woman? Because there's been some groping and John doesn't look like a woman
"Shut up! Work!" Rygel channeling me, I feel.
He bit his nose off! Cool!
That's a good question.
Love Aeryn's double take
Got to love the escape plan.
Fantastic! Little Purple Riding Hood, "She whips the pistol from her knickers..."
Didn't Scorpius look like a giant fly then, when he was writhing around on the floor vomiting?

Unrealized Reality

Very '2001'
The greatest roller coaster ride of all- look no ship!
Time guy gets monotonous
"Catalogue, report and influence" that is spying
Love John's ego taking over
Ha! That'll teach you to get cocky (for want of a better word)
Isn't Harvey dead?
I knew he had it wrong when he said he wasn't scared
Uh oh- how much air does he have?
"Oops" Gee, ya think

Kansas

D'Argo probably can't hear you
"98 bottles of beer" if you carry on much longer they'll find you just to shut you up John
Sam & Josh moment anyone? "Turn on the lights or black out the entire city"
"No. Yes" Go on... "Bite me" Yes!
"Situation normal" that bad huh?
Rygel's first chocolate rush. John should remember to take some with him
Scorpius and Braka?
Ok, if Chiana has sex with John's younger self will John remember it when they return to the future?
Farscape, never one to pass up an innuendo or sight gag
Their plans never work because this is a show with integrity, common sense and (god help us) realism
Love the 'X-Files' gag, just love it!
It was a trout, but his Dad isn't going to have a clue what he's talking about

Terra Firma

Bass or trout - this time John's really making sure that Dad is Dad, not a shapeshifting alien.
"Earth's first contact with extra terrestrial life" Ha! If you think back 3 and a half years you'll remember that John's first contact with extra terrestrial life registered a whopping 8.1 on the Sam & Josh Almighty F*** Up Scale
"Good God!" No that's just the regular cast, God wouldn't bother with all that eye make-up
Look, a MIB!
That's good advice around Aeryn and D'Argo.
John looks weird in trainers. I'm missing the leather already.
He made a MIB joke!
Hell, Aeryn's seen more than his naked ass, why get freaked out about baby pictures.
No demands but the ones you;re putting on him you blonde hussy.
I had forgotten about the chameleon thing.
Leather! Oh, the leather!
Jack and Bobby are in big trouble
"Retain no memory of it" but he does have a big metal thing stuck to his forehead, won't that be a bit of a giveaway?
Saturn, wow!
Oh God no, thinks Aeryn, I'd hate to be human.
Oh my god, it's on Earth
Hah! And Aeryn would love to do a victory dance but she's just too cool. I, on the other hand, would be capering all over the place.
Blimey, Scorpius is getting it from everywhere
I love Chiana's "Spank you very much"
Has nobody noticed that DK and wifey are missing?
Come on Aeryn, you used to be a decent shot
I know they can't seem to build solid walls in the US, but that really is shoddy
At the risk of sounding like my brother, cool fight scene.
Yes! Go D'Argo!
"I'm glad I could be of service" If that's the phrase... Damn, postempted again
He'll be back, he knows how now
What, the home they just wrecked?
Ooh, a slo-mo with purpose.

Twice Shy

"Nothing's bothering you" Liar, liar pants on fire!
Accept nothing from Rygel. That’s just general advice.
I love John’s grudging acceptance that nine times out of ten their plans backfire horribly.
“She is your responsibility” Yes D’Argo, and I promise to feed her and clean her room and take her for walkies…
That was excessive, he wasn't being that pushy
Aeryn’s losing her touch if all she hit was John’s ear then. The pregnancy must be sapping her strength.
Oh yes she does.
Narante (if that's how you spell it), so Granny gets a name now
Men have no idea about romance, but the sight of John on his knees begging is a good place to start.
Is Chiana a not-very-repressed-lesbian now?
Sex and putting up shelves, I suppose.
Oh bless him, John’s an easy mark.
Ah, Slave Girl spreads dissention
Narante's not the only one, I think they're acting oddly too
Chiana nearly achieving her goal of sex with an adult John.
Gagh! Spider!
Eeep, the Replicators have interbred with spiders
Oh, it’s always above you.
Was she torn limb from limb then? This episode is so cut by the BBC.
Calm D’Argo freaks me out.
Is this thing an Emohawk like in 'Red Dwarf' that sucks on emotion? The question is will we get to see Dwayne Dibley?
There’s a hell of a lot of Scorpius spit today.
John having a honesty attack here.
Cool, from spider to Balrog in under a second
That’s going to take the DRDs ages to clean.
Not totally paranoid suddenly though, he's been that way for a couple of years
Hoo-bloody-ray! At last! If he has to kiss anybody it should be Aeryn. After all, she’s put the hours in.

Mental As Anything

Stuck with D’Argo, Rygel and Scorpius in a tiny ship. Yeah, I can see why John wouldn’t be hurrying to go there.
Any mental discipline would be nice John, because he does get a bit distracted sometimes.
What is John planning on watching on his new TV? Does SKY broadcast to the Uncharted Territories? (Thank God it broadcasts to South Wales, anyway)
Waving my flag of sexual equality, why do the girls have to go shopping and the boys enroll at this freaky mind control camp?
Mind you, on hearing all this crap about accepting pain and working through it, I think I can see why the girls opted to shop. I just don’t get this macho obsession with pain - surely the smartest warrior avoids it as much as possible?
“It’s not meant to be painless”, you see, my point being made for me. Men are morons.
That? That is Luxan hyper-rage? That is a tantrum, and I see far worse everyday.
Go on Rygel, you can do it!
Good shot Rygel! Oh well, nice try
Remedial training for John. Poor boy.
I wish I could set detentions like that says the teacher, wistfully. A few hours in a metal cell directly over a bed of hot coals would do the world of good for some people. And I use that term in the loosest possible sense.
Oh dear, John is amusing himself. This is never good.
Oh that's fantastic! I love obscure references, especially when I get them
Scorpius expects John to be captured and tortured? Not a lot of confidence in him. Mind you, considering John’s track record I can’t really blame Scorpius for this one.
“…what kind of monster I really am” says D’Argo mournfully. After some serious consideration I’ve concluded that I’m the Cookie Monster.
I’ve made absolutely no secret of my devotion to John and his predilection for bending over in tight leather trousers, but he really is being a bit dense here. If he took his shirt off and laid it over the grate then the keys that magically fall from above would land on the shirt and he wouldn’t have to burn his hand in that stupidly macho way. Plus, he’d be cooler and we’d get to see him shirtless, so I think that was a good plan for everybody.
D'Argo understands vengeance
I wonder if the shopping trip was that traumatic?

Bringing Home The Beacon

Really, can these episode titles get more pun-tastic?
Rygel with self discipline, scary. Rygel and self-discipline? Oh, this is a got-to-see moment.
Oh, this is the companion episode to last week.
That is a truly stupid haircut.
If it was, Chiana would know.
Gagh, another truly stupid hairstyle.
Keep an eye on him Chiana. Only an eye. Is she really the best person for this subtle kind of work?
Oh, and guess which one Aeryn is going to do.
That is an amazingly stupid hat on that Scarren.
Maybe this shopping trip was worthy of Aeryn tagging along
Yay for the yummy Braca
The Peacekeepers march sounds like a demented version of the Teddy Bear's Picnic
Mutual Defence pact, not a real partnership.
The Luxan territory, D'Argo will flip his wig
Hell yes, assassinate the bitch.
Aeryn’s been spending too much time with John if her well thought out plan is “Run. Run quickly.”
A bit of colour in her hair and that’s it?
Chiana will have Braca for breakfast. A very squicky scene between Chiana and Noranti. I really didn’t need to see the nibbling.
That peacekeeper is trying to look very macho in a very silly hat.
Chiana has an Elvis suit on!
Why is there pond weed on that pipe?
Very good Narante. That’s going to be a very short Scarren.
Aeryn could get to like shopping if it carries on like this
Elvis to the rescue! Or not.
Aeryn hadn’t thought about the peacekeeper ship, although the “Run. Run quickly” plan might come into operation.
Aim for the Scarren’s head! It’s the only part of him that isn’t covered in armour.
They're good. Braca and Graza work well together
That’s a very cheap looking model of the Scarren ship.
My God, I didn’t see that coming. Oh poor John.

A Constellation Of Doubt

That’s strange music for Farscape - oh, it’s another TV show.
Pilot must have the best satellite dish ever
Oh, I love the shot of the Catholic over the “backwards morons” rant from Rygel. My quest continues against the might of the Catholic church. I’ll let you know how it turns out.
"Superstitious, xenophobic morons" sounds like us
Sikozu is neatly stepping into Aeryn’s combat boots and being extremely sarcastic towards John.
Hah! Aeryn is putting that presenter in his place.
It's a weapon, it kills whatever you point it at
I wouldn’t be so quick to trust the opinion of a sociologist. They’re trained to talk out of their arses.
I don’t think that psychological terror is so much D’Argo’s forte as actual terror. That, he’s good at.
Katrazi? He could know it because it sounds like “Yahtzee”.
I was going to say toilet paper! I don’t like being prempted by John. I’d miss chocolate the most.
Damn it, now I’ve been prempted by Sikozu.
She’s also saying we’re ignorant.
Oh shut up you stupid bigoted priest.
What ever that is, it's not a rat
How could Rygel reach all that junk food? He has such little arms!
I don’t think Rygel told them about being deposed by his cousin.
On seeing the tinfoil hat, the host is a little less convinced about his guest’s tenuous grip on sanity.
Excellent, diet or the aliens will get you
Oh poor Moya has a phobia of wormholes! Not that I’d blame her.
John, don’t give Scorpius anything. Aeryn will kill you when she finds out.
Actually, John did a lot of that damage to his parent’s home himself.
I want to hit R. Wilson Monroe and I did the first time he came on the screen

Prayer

That's a bunch of complete twaddle from Aeryn
They're always stupid plans
Katratzi somewhere in Northern Russia
He's lying! he's not going to tell him the truth at all
This is kinda gross
Aeryn must be desperate if she's acting like John here
You really don't need a translation for that
Oh this is the cool Moya!
"A hum in my head" I've been singing Slade all day. I wonder where that will lead me?
They've done to many of these 'I might not get back' scenes before, their hearts just aren't in it
Aeryn's in a really strict gynecologists chair
John has a dyslexic moment, left or right? No your other left!
"Looks like the contact points are rusty, just flick the switch up and down a few times
Can't see Juliet in the fetish gear myself
Extremely close it seems
Sikozu's top seems much lower this week for no apparent reason
Nuh? How? Learned knowledge doesn't filter into genetic memory, unless it's the lyrics to 'Rockin' All Over The World'
Did john know all about the wormholes before he got Aeryn pregnant? No
Who's child? 'Mine' says Aeryn
But not to her face
If she can palm those tablets, then she must be able to get out of her bonds. In which case, why is she still lying there when she could be high-tailing it out of there
Well trance then woman
Oh yeah, that will help
Will Scorpius take the direct route? Oh yes, I see he does
Just hurry up and kill her if you're going to
They should be recording this
Right, done that, slaughtered my shipmates, we can go
Life would have been a lot easier if Aeryn had been a bad Peacekeeper. She'd never have caught up with Moya to begin with and she'd be happily blasting people away right now

Fetal Attraction

Chiana really has to stretch to put her chin on John's shoulder there.
Where are they hiding D'Argo?
Half an arn, just enough time for a stupid plan.
"Grab our guns and kick in the doors" See, stupid plan.
Pregnancy aside, not a bad way to wake up.
"Must you make it so hard for yourself?" Oh, always.
Oh, clever little Hynerian.
D'Argo really not happy as Norante's assistant.
"Your point?" Got to use that.
Oh, poor little shedding Rygel.
I'd lock myself with John in an airlock.
John's planning skills have improved, it's just that his execution still sucks
Go Chiana!
Oh Aeryn, oh my God, how painful.
Surely that's wrong. How can a fetus implant in a damaged uterus, or whatever Chiana has?
Scorpius is more of a battle of wits sort of guy.
Love the vomit on the camera there.
"Or killed!" said Chiana hopefully.
Chiana takes the direct route to keeping Sikozu quiet
Rygel takes up his new position as ship's counselor
I love the way Harvey does the coolest 'Nosferatu'/'Shadow Of The Vampire'
impression
It just wasn't going to be that easy, was it?

Hot To Katratzi

Where has the blood come from on those spikes? Scorpius looks sadly unpunctured.
I love John’s defence of his stupid plan, with a slightly miffed “There’s a fine line between genius and lunacy.”
A quick Broken Arrow moment there with the hasty “Do not shoot the thermonuclear device!”
John is really enjoying himself up there on that table, but how many of those pop culture references are the Scarrens going to understand?
Aeryn’s long-suffering “Isn’t it fun?” comes quietly from the background.
I don’t think that they’d appreciate being known as Crichton’s females, somehow.
Oh poor Chiana, it was a good plan. I’d feel a need to kick him in the mivonks too.
Hah! Robot! I knew there was something off about her and now I know why!
1812 acts like a sheepdog here.
Ugh, Scorpius has a real drool problem.
Stark gets his own back at exactly the wrong moment.
“You’re insane!” Well, yeah.
Oh, I love these little sappy bits.
Scorpius? Scarrens? Spy? Huh?
How the hell do you disguise a bloody leviathan? You’d need one hell of a false moustache.
I hate these TBC episodes! Tell me the story!

La Bomba

John never knows what he's doing
John's really not in a position to bitch about who is who's prisoner.
"Did we win?" Aeryn, ever the professional, comes around from unconsciousness.
Has the Scarren woman looked in the mirror? Because that's frightening.
There's too much stroking of the bomb for my comfort.
Harvey in a beanie is funny.
I think "Scarrensky and Hutch" would have worked better.
Ooh, is Aeryn going to release the embryo?
I also admire Scorpius' compartmentalization of duplicity
There's a joke about John's piece being in their hands that I can't quite get to.
Macbeth, I'm impressed, but slightly worried about where it's going.
"It's the hat." Yup, Aeryn's right.
Oh well , that was obviously going to happen.
Scorpy on the edge of a nervous breakdown, ha ha ha.
Severe over ride feedback loop
I had forgotten about D'Argo's hay fever.
The shocking realisation that, yes, John really is dumb enough to leave a nuclear bomb in a lift.
They had to sling in a fart in a lift gag somewhere
That's a cool party trick of Sikozu's.
Braca, in a bid to survive, has his feelings utterly crushed by Graza
Dead-Eye Granny.
If they were going to tunnel anywhere, it was going to be there.
It's only now that Chiana considers the possibility that they're cursed
What about the radiation from the bomb? Surely's that's going to kill people too.
Hi there!
Aw, Chiana and D'Argo!
Euw, Sikozu and Scorpius!
Is John just maudlin or is he losing it?

Bad Timing

So, a complete history of Farscape in one long ‘previously’. It’s been a weird show, but a good one. Frigging hell, montage ahoy. And it's still unintelligible to the uninitiated
‘And finally’ Noooo!
Well, if the Scarrens are going to Earth, there’s not a great deal that John can do about it.
Agh, hate this screwy narrative style.
"Will they ever be ready?" Not any time soon
Sikozu's wearing Scorpius' clothes? Eww
A Dear John bomb!
Aeryn’s letting that one slide past, Scorpius. Reason has always had very little to do with John’s plans.
Cool, they’re finally blowing Scorpius out of an airlock and they’re getting rid of that annoying Sikozu too.
That was a bit harsh, John, if you torch that piece of paper you can’t rescue it later when you realise that you actually wrote something very important on it.
Chiana suggested sex, Norante suggested drugs, all that’s left is for John to try rock and roll.
Extended starburst? Why have they not tried this before? I can see why they might not want to do it again, but still
Aw, Aeryn is John’s writer’s block breaker.
Tell him Aeryn! Tell him you’re really pregnant, not just semi-pregnant!
That wasn't maths, that was prose
Oh, the title narration. Cool.
Braca is gorgeous, I had to say it. I understand that I'm deranged
Rabbit suits! Harvey is finally in a rabbit suit! Oh words cannot express how much I love this show. Plus, the sight of Ben Browder in a rabbit suit is strangely attractive.
Yes the rabbit suits! How can they cancel this?
Gagh, Scorpius and Sikozu writhing is a bit much for me to take.
Oh great thinks Moya, they cut out my Pilot and replace him with Stark?
“Mine!” says Chiana, taking great pleasure in smacking Stark around the face.
How the hell did John get patched through to his father’s telephone from speaking on the moon?
How is his father supposed to retrieve the dictaphone from the moon, exactly?
Is "ignore them" Scarran for 'open fire'?
Spanish again? Does John revert to Spanish in moments of great stress, like Bitca?
Hah! I knew it! She’s pregnant!
"It's yours" as if we didn't know
"We're having a baby!" I'm a real man! I have proof my penis works!
Oh, I love this alien commentary on the proposal.
Aw, a big sappy ending, just what I wanted. So, what’s going to go wrong now?
Duck!
Oh my God! That alien’s head! It’s so cool and gross at the same time!
Jump overboard!
They're disintegrated?! No! No! No! That's not allowed!!!
Is that them on the bottom of the boat or is it a rug? Either way it's gross
NOOOOOOOOOOO! AAAAAARGGGH! And they’re not making another series! And the baby….(weeps quietly, then changes her mind and bawls loudly). They knew they were being cancelled, they could have wiped the TBC off the screen and we could all have gone away and sobbed like bereft children, but no. To Be Continued To Be Con-f***ing-tinued. You bastards!