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This was the only time I ever had to wait for the full gap between seasons, and it was the only bloody cliffhanger they ever did
Semi-naked tai-chi in a really unconvincing wig. The whole show in a nutshell
That's a much nicer graveyard than the one they put Tessa in
Oh yeah, you stick his sword in there, that's going to confuse the crap out of some archaeologist in about 500 years time
Yes! By you!
Exposition!Joe here
White rose guy is kind of creepy
"Love the new hair" I've never agreed with ultimate evil more
Joe flashes back to 'They Also Serve', 'One Minute To Midnight', 'Something Wicked', 'Cross Of St Antoine' and 'Little Tin God'
Mac's going for that classy minimalist look
Good old Mac, still hiding a bottle of Grouse under the draining board
Excellent comeback, "Strangle me or guess my weight?"
I feel they're on first name terms by now
Wow, that really is the past. Check out the hair
Poor Sophie, I think we'd all be a little thrown in this situation
Mac looking slightly embarrassed at the champion part

Armageddon

Also to get himself a decent haircut
Why the voice-over on the flashback? Were they expecting us to have missed something?
He doesn't say if the better men succeeded
Joe has a very good hold on his 'geeagghh!' reflex. He didn't freak when Mac snuck up on him in the graveyard and he equally fails to leap backwards at the sudden appearance of Horton in his bar
Really, really creepy carnival
That drawing of the bird man is truly, terrifyingly familiar and swear to god, in nearly six years I still haven't figured out where from
"Dear God not again!"
That was seventeen
I hate this scene, it makes me feel seasick every time I watch it, which considering I don't get seasick on actual boats is very impressive
The priest taking the giant pillar of flame in his church very calmly
Football supporters showing their usual glittering imagination
I wonder whose legs they are?
It's a candy dish
Pretty creepy dwarf too, although this scene makes more sense when you know that was meant to be a child (which explains all the toys)
That's it Joe, you poke the highly-trained martial artist with his mind elsewhere
I'm sure Kronos will be thrilled to discover he's only a little more impressive than a dwarf with a beachball
Mac taking the mature schoolyard option, "just ignore them and they'll go away"
Actually Kevin Spacey said that (I bet that's where Mac knows it from)

Sins Of The Father

No! Boules!
That's a bit of a randomly philosophical question
Micky Spillane I can understand, but why read Dickens if you don't have to?
I'm not the only person glad to see the demise of the Citroen am I?
Baahh!! Ian Richardson! I wonder how they persuaded him to do this?
Seems they were right
"Everybody loved the guy" that's got to be impossible, you can't get that far through life without pissing somebody off
He's probably not got that in his wallet either
Do immortals get PMS? Because getting stuck with that for eternity has got to be a bitch
Why say Cumbria with such a funny accent?
Still, at least he went just after what looked like some fantastic sex
I love that line, "Mercy my ass"
It worked, you don't get points for style in that game
"What gives" sounds strange coming from a man in a suit
That's it MacLeod, you threaten her with a short stick
He deserves some credit for not recoiling in horror and dropping the bomb
Did you miss the Russian mafia bit Mac? Not people you shop to the gendarmerie without really thinking about it first
"At least you didn't kill me while I was dead", and strangely enough, I have absolutely no problem with that line
That's an incredibly unconvincing child
'Hot Shots' has ruined that line for me for ever
Was the nail file just a casual enquiry? He certainly doesn't use it to open the safe

Diplomatic Immunity

The last time I saw this episode was when I was sick with drug withdrawal after I came off my pain killers because I got better...
My god that's a short dress, great boots though
She didn't mean money was an insult, she meant the amount was
That "daughter" was subtle
Mac looking very smart in the pale suit
This is one of the most superbly over-acted deaths I've ever seen
Mac's grammar giving him away
Just one more time then they're going to the Riviera? My god! Have these people never played Spot The Stiff?
I'm secretly very fond of that hair on Alexis
I think this ep is subconsciously responsible for me giving my Wesley a chance when he first showed up on 'Buffy'. Even though I didn't realise it was him, deep down, I knew that someone who murdered Anita Dobson with half a breeze block couldn't be all bad
"Been hammered out..." how can Mac tell?
I do like the fact that the American accent that Alexis naturally speaks with keeps slipping, but his put-on English is virtually perfect
It's a sweet co-incidence that Alexis Denisoff ends up in the remake of the episode that Tony Head made five years ago
"Plumbing emergency" that's actually quite plausible
Little heavy on the eyeliner there Steve
Steve is powerless against the force that is beige!MacLeod

Patient Number 7

Ah, the small child as fount of unknowing wisdom
It's a fairly easy question, if she's speaking Arabic, then she must be able to speak Arabic
Of course, major acts of vandalism are going to make him less likely to call the police...
You can't blame the girl for being sceptical, "I've known you for 350 years" really does sound like a cheap pick-up line
Is there any feeling Mac hasn't had and therefore can't instantly empathise with?

Black Tower

Just for the record, I love this episode, after all those simpering women, it's nice to see MacLeod back again
Oh, the romance of raw fish
You'd think he'd date more French women, living in France and all
She cries "look out!" and he does, right up into the block of wood that's being swung at his forehead
Dating MacLeod is more trouble than its worth
Andrew Bicknell, who plays Marek actually did a fairly decent audition for Kronos. One of the few people who didn't get laughed at
Ah, there's the magic word, Mac morphs into my grandmother for a moment
That's a really, really shallow grave
Good thing that door wasn't locked, otherwise he would have rebounded off it into the hail of bullets
Well, technically Mac isn't running for his life
I really can't stand that techno-geek
'Highlander' does 'Die Hard'
Those neon pink feathers clash horribly with the uniforms of those guards. really, not well planned at all
Why is Marek quoting a 1930's musical song with "Run Rabbit Run"?
The best bounty hunter in the south, killed by a combination of turpentine and toilet cleaner
Did Mac mean to come out of that air duct, or did it just cave in under his weight?
I'm not impressed by his high-falutin' sword work either
Mac obviously spent his time in that monastery both contemplating his sins and watching reruns of 'MacGuyver'. Possibly dubbed in Tibetan
Some poor executive's going to come to work on Monday morning to find a trashed office
Thank you, Mac, someone finally knocks out that annoying geeky person
Is it just me or is MacLeod looking particularly sexy in this episode? No, it's not just you, for some reason he's devastatingly attractive this week

Unusual Suspects

Is he actually playing that clarinet? If he's miming, he's doing it very well
If the cigarette gets any closer to that wig it's going to go up in flames
The first time he squeaked, the second time it was her and I couldn't tell the difference
Yeah, my thoughts exactly. Mine too
That tombstone's a little inaccurate, Romeo poisoned himself
I can't help wondering the sort of stuff we'd get up to if we were 800 years old. And how big the website would be then
Even Mac can recognise emotional blackmail. That's because he's seen it so many times before
Occasionally, you have a sort of grudging respect for MacLeod
Sounds like a foolproof plan. And if ever there was a fool... So you get your tin of fool, and wipe it all over your raincoat. No, that would be proofing with fool, it wouldn't make it proof against fools, like rain-proofing doesn't involve covering your coat with rain. I don't know what would repel fools. Or what fools would repel
Why has he got Fitzcairn down as a suspect in his own murder?
Has to be a dark and stormy night.
That feudal mindset is difficult to let go of.
Always one doom and gloom person isn't there.
Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy, wealthy and dead
Armoured rats apparently. The new generation of fighting rats
It's like Mac has his very own poseable Roger Daltrey action figure. And we all know how much trouble those can be
Person with bad taste doesn't often equal murderer, but it does occasionally equal murder victim, especially if the bad taste is musical and played in the early hours of the morning
Why is the maid holding a cross over Juliette's body? Unless, the maid is the Slayer for the 1920's and just doing it out of habit
Go on, prod her
Roger Daltrey has surprisingly muscular arms
"Even you..." oh don't bet on it...
That's it, throw books at MacLeod, it's not like he's going to experience them in any other way
He never told them where the murders took place
Wouldn't you have insisted on a figure for the number of murders? And also an address
"Why are the cute ones always so slow?" A question I've asked myself many, many times
Heroically resisting the double entendre for the second time tonight
Okay, that was strike three...

Justice

When it's sticking in you, you rarely worry about what kind of arrow it is
Ramon has been working for him for ten years? He must have begun his employment in nappies
So why has Mac come here?
This is really not the time for pesto
Okay, so apparently sex is also the answer
How come Katya gets espresso and poor Regan gets fobbed off with decaff?
She's got a pretty decent accent there. Is she actually British and faking the Latin American?
William's father, when faced with two options, immediately goes for the third, unavailable option
Of course that's men's justice, women's justice is a lot more effective, and usually a lot more unpleasant
Katya tries to be inconspicuous. In a scarlet Mercedes

Deadly Exposure

You'd think even the police would be a relief after the appalling comedian, although I can't believe they fell for the "raid" ruse
That music was well timed to stop when her 'act' stopped.
I like her.
Do Peter Wingfield and Elizabeth Gracen get paid for the whole season now their names are on the titles?
You'd think that the costume department would give the model better clothes than the orange cycling shorts and flowery waistcoat he's got on.
You'd think the Police would give model guy some clothes at least.
Mining whilst he was at school? He popped down the pit for an hour after class?
"Said I had something" yeah, like really good grip (Ruth)
Where is his mother from? Because his accent when he impersonates her slips all over the country.
That's a hideous dress she wears in the flashback.
Ah MacLeod really grasping the double entendre here
This is a bit fast even for MacLeod.
I suppose an upside for all the years he spent on 'Highlander' Adrian Paul can now undress women from any time period. Not one to be fazed by a crinoline
How much stuff has she got hidden in that corset? What's she going to pull out next, a long string of hankies and a couple of doves?
"A private beheading at the Duke's country palace" followed by cucumber sandwiches and scones...
When did she get the enlargements done? The photo place just gave her an ordinary envelope
What database is Mac pulling that information from?
"Never arrested"? That seems unlikely. Never charged perhaps
Quacks like a cop?
That wasn't a limerick, it was only two lines long, I've just done limericks with Year 8 and it was an intensely painful experience for everybody concerned. I know what a limerick is and that wasn't one of them.
See, purposeful walk and a clipboard, works every time
I'm choosing to ignore that fringedweller comment. Actually, I think this is where the phrase originally comes from
So it was about now that I foolishly said "You know, I'd watch a series with these two in it"
The security in that block of flats is appalling if the button to let someone in is on the outside of the building.
Luckily Dr. Bellows was a real doctor and had a good excuse to be carrying an oxygen tank. "A doctor." "Of archaeology..."
Shouldn't someone have arrested Kendall as soon as Regan identified him?
Regan's omnipresent white sweater disappeared between the scene where they found the bomb and the next scene where she detonates the bad guy.
I'm really impressed he remembered that name

Two Of Hearts

Well, he did get warned not to go for the gun.
That's a horrible wig on the mafia guy. Although, I wouldn't want to be first in the queue to tell a powerful mafia leader that his wig was bad.
Very smart move, favours from the mafia are probably worth any amount of cash
That's the problem with having an immortal lover, you can never tell when they're telling the truth or not about being somewhere or doing something.
"It's late, goodnight" despite the fact that there is obviously sunlight streaming through the window.
"Mission for Kids", such an elegant name.
How the hell is he meant to remember someone from 700 years ago? I have enough problems remembering faces from last week
"Most love to give" is all well and good. but I'd prefer someone with a bad attitude and basic medical training
If I was seeking out an old enemy for the sole purpose of killing him, I'd be wearing trousers.
I wonder if it really is Mr Charity's day off?
It must be hard to get a tithe out of all those dead peasants.
Why are the police interviewing them in a warehouse?
Yes damn it, you do need a search warrant
If you give them half an hour I'm sure that they could make all the licences and permits that you want.
Bartholomew really thinks she doesn't have a spare sword?
Isn't using a shield kind of cheating? Not that it does him any good in the long run
It's night now? They've been fighting for a long time.
Look how much paint she's chipped off that shield in the previous dozen takes
If they give up all the money from their rescue missions, how the hell do they afford to go to the Bahamas?
So, all in all, this is a really weird episode, although when you get used to the fact that it doesn't have any of the regulars in it, it's actually very good. I like it Me too, although Claudia Christian reminds me of Stockard Channing for some reason. It must be all the West Wing I've been fringedwelling recently.

Indiscretions

Had to happen sooner or later, welcome to The Methos And Joe Show
Walker completely fails to taunt Methos
Good call with the Gilgamesh thing, makes sense
Why would he pull strings to get his daughter a potentially deadly field assignment? I would have thought he would have wanted her as deeply in some nice, safe research library as humanly possible. Where she'd end up meeting people like Methos, okay, yeah Joe would feel happier with the deadly field assignment...
I always thought the Chronicles were his personal rolodex, they certainly have been for the past ten years
Charlotte is a very sensible and admirably determined woman
Naked Methos, just thought I'd let you know about that
Try saying "minor medical miracle" ten times fast
Methos is truly enjoying this moment of moral superiority
I want to know just exactly how the bad guy describes Methos
The Range Rover is certainly an improvement on his grey Volvo, although sadly not as reliable
Methos could always try doing the Claudette Colbert thing and showing a bit of leg to passing motorists. I'd stop for that
How do they know that Methos ran out of gas? Surely the gauge goes to zero anyway when you switch the engine off?
Oh yeah, Methos' family planning clinic, that sounds entertaining...
You would have thought if you were trying to hide from murderous gunmen, you'd have the good sense to switch your mobile off
I know we all know it, but Methos is a manipulating bastard
He may have been a horse, but one of the others was a woman, and Methos didn't seem at all bothered about that. What with the Cleopatra obsession I'm starting to worry...
When you see the pictures, this is one kick ass quickening, they don't show you anything like as much as they could
I wonder what poor crew member had to duck as Peter suddenly flung his sword across the room

To Be

Okay, now this is how sex should be. I'm amazed the barge isn't shipping water
She certainly wouldn't have any trouble getting a cab if she did
Amanda neatly missing the opportunity to nut O'Rourke and make a run for it
Probably a good job Methos didn't get that holiday home
Things you never got taught in Latin lessons
"Is that how you'd want to go down in history?" Joe has no comeback for that
"Who's up," no, that was earlier in the evening
Yeah, of course they would, because after taking over the rest of Europe they were going to stop at the Irish sea
Mac should have known something was up, a real Irishman would never have left his pint
Run you foolish woman, run!
Really impractical. They wouldn't even have been in the same jail. At least if he'd faked his own death he could have visited her once in a while, or maybe even broken her out
Bit public outside the barge surely
Methos on cliche alert. "Please tell me that's not written in blood"
I quote from the script, "Don't go MacLeod, it's a trap MacLeod. MacLeod, it's raining outside"
Methos just doesn't want to be left alone, he might be next on the list
Yay! Go Methos!
Poor poor MacLeod, "I'm not even close to getting it Fitz"
I've dealt with five-year-old boys like that, wondering why they have to be shepherds when all the little girls get to be angels and wear the sparkly halos
You've got to feel sorry for Clarence (sorry, Fitz), he's really got his work cut out for him on this one
Kew gardens would be my guess
Fitz nicely playing the soundtrack for MacLeod's un-life
Love Amanda as the black widow. Gorgeous dress too
Serious continuity problems with those champagne flutes
Finally, after five years, they've managed to get Jim Byrnes in a terrible wig too!
He couldn't have picked something less cheesy than 'Stand By Me'?
Well, you'd think God could dig a little deeper than that for the down and out
See, Horton knows how to give a handout
Gerry Rafferty?
Finally they get permission to shoot in what's certainly the most beautiful landmark I ever saw in Paris
And then Fitz will never get his wings!

Not To Be

"I said that?" Surely I'd remember being so prosaic?
I hate it when other people order for me
Well, not much has changed, Tessa's still a total bitch. She's got Andrew wrapped round her little finger
Unlike every thing else Tessa's ever done, I actually quite like the 'Inamorata' piece
Handy that she had big pillows in her sculpture gallery
Well, he's screwed that one up good and proper
PW drowning in Adrian's leather jacket. They couldn't have gotten him one of his own?
Fitz not letting his mission from God in any way interfere with picking up women in bars
Methos had better hair in MacLeod's reality too
"I'm staying alive," okay, did anyone else just have the worst Bee Gees moment?
That Gillian was a bit of an idiot if you ask me. She should just have grabbed Methos by whatever bit she could reach and headed to Tahiti
Methos just wasn't stupid enough to take Kronos on without back up
Oh, very cool Richie
They must be large denomination notes
If he was going to shoot he'd have done it the minute Joe walked in the door
Notice how they have VP standing on a much higher bit of that bridge than Peter
No not again! I only saw Mac whack him yesterday!
Does God have a receptionist?
Methos was just unprepared. I still maintain if they met in the real world, Methos would kick MacLeod's ass. Or shoot him when his back was turned
Why is there no quickening? Methos was still immortal
Mac understandably taking a few moments to come round
I've heard some dodgy Irish accents in my time, but that one stands out
Peter's is pretty poor too
Don't distract him Amanda!
Okay, deep breath, flashbacks from, 'Homeland', 'Through A Glass Darkly', 'The Samurai', 'Testimony', 'Take Back The Night', 'Till Death', Finale II', 'Band Of Brothers', 'They Also Serve', 'Duende', 'The Revolutionary', 'Deliverance', 'For Tomorrow We Die', 'Line Of Fire', 'Counterfeit II', 'Freefall'(?), 'The Darkness', 'Watchers', 'Band Of Brothers' again, 'Finale II' again, 'Money No Object', 'Blade Of The MacLeods', 'Studies In Light', "The Darkness', 'Eye For And Eye', 'Prodigal Son', 'Methos', 'Forgive Us Our Trespasses', 'Through A Glass Darkly', 'The Messenger', 'Cross Of St Antoine', 'Revelations 6:8', one I don't know, 'Turnabout', and 'Duende'
It's been nearly five years sine I first saw this at a convention in Manchester (which is a terrifying thought) and wear to god, it still makes me cry every time. Good exit for a truly, truly good show