Continuous processing: speech input is processed in a left to right manner. Information is continuously mapped onto representations in the mental lexicon. Prominent examples of models of spoken-word recognition which adhere to this view of continuous processing and full-form representation are the cohort and the Trace Model. Winona's frightening me. Scully's frightening Chris. We could really BEEEEEEEEEE in this scared state. No no it's not Oklahoma. Get back from the precinct maam. Do you like Peach Melba marmalade? I live for Peach Melba marmalade. Chris doesn't he just died from paper overdose. Oh yes. (No I didn't, I died from the forthcoming marmalade overdose.)

Did you know it would take lots of marmalade to maramalade the Pershore Road with Marmalade if we were to spread it 4 inches thick with marmalade. Marmalade marmalade marmalade maramalde. Ner ner ner ner ner.

Did you know that the marmalade yeti doesn't come from Seville, as is often claimed, but in fact resides on the Yorkshire moors where it unsurprisingly drinks and eats smokeless coal. The origin of its name is believed to come from page 957 of Colin's Dictionary. It was, at the time, believed to be mildly preferable to Marmite, which is also on the same page . In fact, Colin's only got pages 957 and 958 of his dictionary. He fed the rest to his cat.

The behavioural habits of the yeti are irrelevant here because we're talking about the feared marmalade yeti which is a totally different kettle of fish. Because it looks a kettle and would be full of fish (if the coal hadn't killed them all) it doesn't get out much. Efforts to track down the Yeti have all ended in disaster because of its legendary powers of mind control. Field workers investigating this phenomenon have often reported hallucinations of sheep, wales, whales, wails, and more sheep driving steam trains. During the mating season (february 30 - 31) the marmalade yeti can be seen shovelling its eggs into one basket and hiding this at the top of the tallest tree in the one hundred and one bull mastif acre wood. There, the eggs flash, rotate, distract aircraft, and emit pulses of ultra high frequency sound which can only be received by Jim the Radio One Breakfast Show programmer. He calls these pulses Chris Evans and he's probably made a lot of money conning people this way. But that's another story, gentle reader. In fact I lied. They can also be received by Boris, the Branston Ferret. Boris is the key in the reproductive cycle of the marmalade Yeti. His role is to deliver to the eggs, presents and yeast extract on bank holidays and special occasions.

Experts in the area, Fromkin and Rodmin, state that the yeti is nearly as frightening as Winona. She's so frightening, she's just eaten the cat. Fromkin and Rodmin claim that the Yeti's ferociousness lies in its ability to adapt its eating habits so that if it slaughters an ox for food, it eats ox. If it was a pig, it would eat pig. However, ox served at the Norman tables was beef, pig was pork and sheep was mutton. The yeti's ferocious war cry can often be heard between lunch and breakfast on Saturdays at 9pm. It goes like this, "UNBULLFINCH UNBULLFINCH CHAFFINCH HALFINCH WIG WIG WIG". It would prefer to speak Yiddish, but it can only say "BIFFOLOBUFFALOBBISON". If you meet a yeti, remember to unpack your lemon yoghurt. Sit down and enjoy it because it's bound to be your last. And when you've finished it, you can start the yoghurt.

(c) Acknowledged Microsoff Encarla 1996.

Chris and Bob