Hibs supporters statement.
No Idle Talk have intercepted a press release from across the city at Fester Road.
It is now and always has been the policy of Hibernian FC to ensure that our supporters are well treated. All fans are invited to join our Supporters High Intensity Treatment Programme (S.H.I.T for short). We at Hibs pride ourselves that over the years we have given our supporters more S.H.I.T. than any other club in the area.
HIBS ISSUE
STATEMENT TO
SUPPORTERS
If any supporter feels that they have graduated past the S.H.I.T. stage, then why not consider the next stage of our supporters plan, the Complete Representation Action Programme (C.R.A.P for short). If you pass this stage, then you will be able to talk so much C.R.A.P and S.H.I.T that you could qualify for a W.A.N.KE.R badge (Why AII Nobodys Kiss Easter Road).
For a limited period only, the club is offering all supporters the chance to try our latest scheme, ADVANCED SUPER SUPPORTERS HONOURING OUR LESSER ELEVEN (or A.S.S.H.O.L.E for short).
So keep up the good work and you will find that the more S.H.I.T. you take on and the more C.R.A.P. you can handle, we will treat you like an A.S.S.H.O.L.E for sure!
(Latic Fanatic)