A Face Like

There are many ugly players in Scottish football and most teams (inclding ours) have their fair share. But one team stands head and shoulders above them all....HIBERNIAN. To look at the team photograph you would think they had all been hand picked for their lack of looks (for it's not footballing ability). If ever a team has had a scudding with the ugly stick it is this one. Their number one fans are the Proclaimers who are themselves tarred with the ugly brush. Below we describe the hibs players in our own special way.

Bryan Gunn - A face like a battered fart

Jimmy Boco - A face like a rivet catchers glove

John Hughes - A face like a bulldog chewing a wasp

Pat McGinley - A face like a blind cobblers thumb

Kevin Harper - A face like a poachers dog

Willie Miller - A face like a sweaty minging oaxter

Steve Crawford - A face like a camel sooking toast

Barry Lavety - A rerr face for haunting hooscs

Tony Rougirr - A face like a pudding supper with jaundice

Andy Dow - A face like a well rogered fanny

Brian Welsh - A face like a well scelped arse

Chris Jackson - A facc like a burst scrotum sac

Chris Reid - A face like a shitehouse rat

Lee Power - A face like a bag of spanners

The eagle-eyed amongst you will notice that this is a rework of an original piece from NO lDLE TALK issue 4 written by the one and only editors teaboy (Feb 1990)

Take me back to the issue 38 contents page