"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."

Good one George, baffle 'em with the obvious.

"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."

Oops, and I always thought Barbara looked like such a nice woman.

"Welcome to Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts."

There's a space theme here isn't there, do you think George wanted to be an astronaut?

"Mars is essentially in the same orbit...Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."

OK George so that's you first out of the airlock then.

"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."

So history's not your strong point either.

"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change."

English not too hot either.

"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'."

Numeracy off the agenda too.

"Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things."

If I 've told my kids once I've told them a thousand times to beware the inarticulate things. Do you think George might think an inarticulate thing is a lorry that isn't made up of two parts?

"I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future."

Perhaps fortune telling is his forte.

"The future will be better tomorrow."

There's definitely another trend here, the first soothsayer in space.

"We're going to have the best educated American people in the world."

OK, race relations out of the window.

"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history."

I wonder who he was thinking about here?

"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."

Yes George I think you a going to have to.

"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe."

We all knew geography wasn't going to be his strong suit didn't we?

"Public speaking is very easy."

OK, the first public speaking soothsayer in space.

"I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican"

Do you think he thinks 'part of the problem' is another political party?

"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."

Alright then: the first public speaking soothsayer in space with a knack for foretelling the completely obvious.

"When I have been asked who caused the riots and the killing in LA, my answer has been direct & simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are to blame."

Is he missing the point or am I?

"Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it."

Not having it, hmm, what I need is a public speaking soothsayer in space with a knack for foretelling the completely obvious to explain that one to me.

"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."

We can all rest easy then.

"For NASA, space is still a high priority."

Space theme, told you didn't I?

"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children."

He's getting quite good at it now isn't he? Perhaps he could be more punchy though: Quite frankly, my name is George Bush.

"The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that George Bush may or may not make."

Another talent: evasiveness, so that's the first public speaking soothsayer in space with a knack for foretelling the completely obvious when he's not being evasive.

"We're all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten you on the mistakes we may or may not have made."

Mistakes I've made a few...well actually I've made quite a lot really.

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."

So we can cross environmental studies off the list then or is that just comprehension (of anything except for the blinding obvious).

"[It's] time for the human race to enter the solar system."

Off goes astronomy then, which is a shame because I think he could have done well as the first public speaking soothsayer in space with a knack for foretelling the completely obvious when he's not being evasive.