Changing a Light Bulb in Church

Ten. One to change the light bulb and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

None. God has predestined whether the light will be changed or not.

Change???

A few months ago, we established by experimental means that the answer is 2 (with a mobile platform) - and that they are both deacons.

No one knows.

One man - because it is a man's responsibility to bring light into every situation.

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.

Only one, because any more might be thought of as ecumenical.

At least ten, as they need to hold a debate on whether or not the light bulb exists. Even if they can agree on the light bulb, they still might not change it, to keep from alienating those who might use other forms of light.

None. They always use candles.

One. But soon all those around can warm up to its glowing.

One to actually change the bulb, and all the rest to say how much they liked the old one.

This statement was issued: We choose not to make a statement either in favour of or against the need for a light bulb. However if in your own journey you have found that a light bulb works for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship with your light bulb (or light source, or non-dark resource), and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life, and tinted all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

Evangelicals do not change light bulbs.
They preach to the bulb and invite it to come forward if it wants to seek to be changed.

It doesn't matter; they are still in darkness.

One to change it, but first they need to find someone with a light bulb that they don't use any more.