Study No. 8
THE HUSBAND IS HIGH PRIEST

1 Peter 2:9 (King James)
"But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should show forth the praises of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvellous light."

New Testament fathers are high priests in their homes. Just like the priests of the Old Testament times, they have two definite priestly functions:


FIRST, IN BRINGING GOD TO THE FAMILY:

Ephesians 6:4
"Fathers provoke not your children to anger; but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord."

The earthly father gives the children the first impression of what the heavenly Father is like. Children quickly try to copy their father.

Fathers are also responsible to God and their family to lead family devotions. If you feel that the Lord is suggesting something else -- drop the carefully prepared syllabus and read what He tells you. Always keep the balance between dull plodding through endless chapters "because we shouldn't leave anything out," and the haphazard jumping from story to story so that David and Paul and the ark and the Red Sea all become jumbled and unrelated.

DISCUSSION.

Here's where you need plenty of time! Start off by commenting on something in the reading that grabs you. Find out if your family understood what was read. Now things get exciting because you will be asked questions, tough ones. Learn to trust God for the answers to questions that matter. Believe God that as you talk among yourselves, you are being anointed to build up your family.

Let the conversation drift, carefully but deliberately. Problems at school, quarrels between brothers and sisters, some new item -- everything is worthy of discussion. Look, if you don't tell your children what God's answers to these aspects of real life are, nobody else will. Nobody else knows you and your family well enough to deal with the small, day-by-day things. Don't talk too long just to impress your family. Your kids know when you're being phoney. They live with you, remember?! And don't cut it short so that you can get back to the T.V.

PRAYER.

Everybody prays. Out loud! If necessary, teach them how. Not the endless, "Bless Daddy, Mommy, Freddie, Grandma and Grandad and Rover!" Leave vain repetition to the heathen. Pray about things that matter. Prayers by children like, "Lord, don't let Johnnie be scared at the dentist tomorrow and please make the cut on my finger better", are prayers a child can pray from the heart. And the Lord will answer them.

Keep your own prayers simple. Pray for your wife and children by name. Teach the family to expect the gifts of the Spirit to occur. Ask if someone has a word from the Lord. Don't let the fact that you're sitting around the kitchen table put you off. Tongues, interpretation, prophecy, words of knowledge and wisdom, gifts of healing and faith start right here. Pray for coughs and colds. Get up and lay hands on your wife or children as you pray. Don't ever let embarrassment hold you back. Embarrassment is the fear of looking silly -- and that is PRIDE.

FAMILY DEVOTIONS ARE GOD'S METHOD OF BRINGING UP KIDS.


Deuteronomy 6:6-7
"And these words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your hearts; and you shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up."

As you sit around the table you are laying three foundations -- mechanical, moral and spiritual:

  1. MECHANICAL: Knowing how to use a Bible and concordance, to have a fair idea of where most of the books of the Bible are, and to know the broad sequence of Adam, Abraham, Moses, David, Daniel, Jesus and the Apostles.

  2. MORAL: How to live and behave, despite the opposition from school and friends.

  3. SPIRITUAL: What being born again means; demonstration that Christianity is a personal, two-way contact with God.

BRINGING THE FAMILY TO GOD.

The husband and/or father should be praying diligently for each member of his household daily.

The husband and/or father is responsible for the choice of church his family attends. No wife should be attending some church other than the one her husband attends. His role is not only to choose the church, but to choose it BECAUSE it will provide the best Christian teaching for his family and give them the greatest opportunity to be raised up in the full truth of the Lord.

The father is to tuck the children in at night. This is not the mother's role. She should do it if the husband has to be away from home, but when he is home -- he must tuck them in. Children emulate their father. If Dad stays in another room watching TV, etc. while Mum prays with the kids, the thought in the child or children's minds will be, "It's all right, I'll let Mummy pray for me now, but when I get older, I'm going to be just like Daddy!"

Children go through enough garbage in a day to ruin their minds for a lifetime. But the High Priest can lay hands on his child just before he or she goes to sleep and prayerfully wash away the unclean and hurtful thoughts lodged in their brains. This is no light suggestion, but a real admonition. DO IT!!!

THE HUSBAND IS TO BE THE PROVIDER.

1 Timothy 5:8
"But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith, and is worse than an unbeliever."

Many a modern husband believes that a wife's place is in the home and he expects her to go there immediately after work! But God says that the husband is responsible for the financial security of the home. Careful consideration needs to be given to determine if a wife should work outside of the home. NEVER should she work outside and let others take her responsibilities with the children.

HUSBANDS ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR: Attitudes, discipline, feelings about home, feelings about people, final decisions -- all of them. GOD WILL HOLD YOU RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR CHOICES. You can't do it right if you don't take the time necessary to get God's leading, study His Word, pray and think everything through.

BEWARE OF BEING A WORKAHOLIC!...Courtesy National Enquirer.

"California management consultant Christopher Hegarty has designed a simple test to see if you are working too long and letting your job become your burden (therefore, automatically, neglecting your family). Just answer these questions "yes" or "no".
  1. Do you regularly take office work home with you at night or over the weekend?
  2. Are you reluctant to go on vacation for fear that things at the office will go to "pot"?
  3. Do you take phone calls even when trying to complete a difficult job or to relax on a coffee break?
  4. Do you ask others to put in the same hours as you?
  5. Do you avoid delegating work because you feel you're the only one who can do it right?
  6. Is your desk so piled with paperwork that often you can't find things?
  7. Are you an obsessive memo writer?

If you answered "yes" to more than one question you may very well be a compulsive worker."

When the husband neglects the family and doesn't lead, the wife often feels she has just two alternatives:
1. Fall apart.
2. Take over and become the "man" in the family.
It is then the sin of the husband not being God's man that causes the wife to sin also.

The Bible recognizes that women can be very successful in business:
...Lydia, who sold special cloth, was wealthy enough to own her own home. She was a single career woman. (Acts 16:14)
...Priscilla worked at an outside occupation. She and her husband were tentmakers. (Acts 18:2,3)
...The "perfect wife" (Proverbs 31) was gifted in real estate, farming and clothes design.
BUT, DID THE "PERFECT WIFE" EXIST??!!!

The "perfect wife" in Proverbs 31 was employed and had children.

Proverbs 31:16 "She considers a field and buys it; from her earnings she plants a vineyard."

(NOTICE: She made her own money and controlled it.)

Proverbs 31:24 "She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies belts to the tradesmen."

(NOTICE: She was involved in several business, each producing a large sum of money.)

But there is an old saying -- "Nobody's perfect!" Probably that was true about this wife, too! NOTICE: In verse 10, King Lemuel asks, "An excellent wife, who can find...!!!" Probably no one!!! Close observation of this chapter shows that his mother taught him to say these things:

Proverbs 31:1 "The words of King Lemuel, the oracle which his mother taught him."

Not only did Mum teach her son to say the things in this chapter, but in this description of "the perfect wife" the poor wife never slept!

Proverbs 31:15 "She rises while it is still night, and gives food to her household, and portions to her maids."

Proverbs 31:18 "She senses that her gain is good; her light does not go out at night."

If such a wife existed, how long could she really last without dying from exhaustion???!!!

QUESTIONS TO ASK WHEN CONSIDERING WHETHER THE WIFE SHOULD WORK OUTSIDE THE HOME.

  1. ARE YOU, AS THE HUSBAND, "THE PROVIDER" FOR YOUR WIFE?

    1 Timothy 5:8
    "But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith, and is worse than an unbeliever."

    Is your wife going to end up taking over your role and usurping your assignment from the Lord? If so, you'll be out of God's will.

  2. THE HUSBAND NEEDS TO HONESTLY ANSWER THE QUESTION: "AM I THE ONE URGING MY WIFE TO WORK OUTSIDE THE HOME?"

    1 Peter 3:7 and Ephesians 5:23, among other verses, tell you that you are to "treat your wife as the weaker vessel" and be "the saviour of your wife's body." Certainly no "saviour" would force his wife to overwork.

    I believe you are reading this manual because you want God's real answers for your marriage. But you must see to it that she is able to live out God's real answers for her, too. She should work only by choice -- not because you've thoughtlessly driven her to it.

  3. DOES THE WIFE REALLY WANT TO WORK OUTSIDE THE HOME?

    The biggest question to ask if the answer to this is "yes" is -- "WHY?" Is it to fulfill a basic need in her or is it to escape? Margaret Hardisty makes a powerful case for women who want to do outside work in her book, "Forever My Love." Read it. It isn't always wrong if she does work outside the home, but it's wrong if it's done to satisfy guilt over "simply being a housewife." Be sure your wife reads Chapter 2 of this manual on "The Christian Wife" before she makes this decision.

  4. HOW MUCH ENERGY DOES YOUR WIFE HAVE?

    Is she a "ball of fire" at midnight, or "pooped out" by the time you get home from work? Worn out wives are hardly ever much fun to be around and they sure can't be everything God designed them you're going to end up a very unhappy, unfulfilled husband.

  5. HOW IS YOUR WIFE AT ALLOCATING HER TIME?

    Does she have everything totally arranged in a time slot so that her work never stacks up? Because a wife who finds that she has too much work to do is almost always going to let you know -- LOUDLY!!! She'll either yell at you or she'll yell at things in general. A woman with too much work left to do at the end of the day is a frustrated wife. Her frustrations will soon become your frustrations,too.

  6. WHAT'S YOUR HONEST ATTITUDE ABOUT YOU DOING HOUSEWORK?

    Are you ready to cook the meals, make the beds, do the dishes, etc?; Do you feel you have an equal responsibility to do those things and all other kinds of housework? Because if she has, in your opinion, an equal responsibility to work outside the home as you do, then it only stands to reason that you have an equal responsibility to work inside the home as she does.

  7. GOD GAVE YOU CHILDREN TO RAISE. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO SAY TO JESUS IF YOU AND YOUR WIFE DON'T RAISE THEM?

    The Bible promises there will come a moment when you, saved or lost, are going to face Jesus. I guarantee that at that moment He's not going to ask you, "How was business?"! But you can be certain that He will ask you, "How well did you raise the children I gave you?" You'd better have a good answer!

  8. WHO WILL YOUR CHILDREN VISIT IF A PARENT ISN'T HOME WHEN THEY GET HOME FROM SCHOOL?

    Children, including teenagers, who need the security of someone to talk with after school often look elsewhere when parents aren't home -- and that may be where you wouldn't want them to look. Who is talking with your children and influencing them if Mum and Dad are both away? Be sure you know the full answer to that question.

  9. HOW MUCH STRESS CAN YOUR WIFE STAND?

    Instead of the wife enjoying those cute little things kids do because they're kids, she yells and screams and slaps since she's too tired and frustrated to appreciate them or you.

  10. WILL TEMPTATION BE TOO MUCH FOR HER?

    Temptation is too much for many, many women who have gone out to join the work force. Adultery and divorce are rampant among employed wives. After all, she generally has to dress well for the job and men at work are sometimes more appreciative of that than a husband is. Also, if she spends more time with the boss at work than she does with the husband at home she may become closer to him than to her mate. It happens far too often.

  11. CAN YOU FINANCIALLY AFFORD TO HAVE YOUR WIFE WORK OUTSIDE THE HOME??!!

    Many husbands are startled to find that they cannot afford to have their wife work outside their home.

    In a U.S. News and World Report Magazine article dated July 11, 1977, entitled, "News You Can Use In Your Personal Planning", they wrote: "It can come as a jolt to find how much less than her salary is the couple's actual gain in dollars and cents. The second income pushes their combined earnings into higher percentage brackets for federal income-tax purposes. So a bigger tax bite comes out of her pay, which, in effect, comes on top of her husband's salary. BEWARE!!!" (Also, the cost of childcare, clothes for work, transport etc)

Go over the 11 questions just listed. Even if she could make a bit of money, is it worth is when all of these things are considered? Be honest with God and yourself in answering this question.

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